Incorrect AU Avengers Quotes

Main account: Avengers Interior - Quote account: I-A-Q

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Evil!Tony

Harley: You’re evil now?

Tony: Decided it was time for a change of pace.

Harley: Cool. Can I have a laser cannon?

Tony: *grinning* That’s the spirit, kid.

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Hydra!Nat

Clint: Wait, so you were Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D.?

Natasha: I like to keep my options open.

Clint: So, you’re just… double agenting for fun?

Natasha: *shrugs* Gotta stay busy.

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Evil!Tony

Bruce: You’ve built doomsday weapons?

Tony: *grinning* Yeah, just in case.

Bruce: Just in case of what, Tony?

Tony: …In case I decide to take over the world, obviously.

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Hydra!Peter

Sam: So… you were Hydra. How did you, you know, switch sides?

Peter: They wouldn’t let me listen to my playlists.

Sam: *laughing* So you betrayed Hydra for music?

Peter: It’s a basic human right.

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Evil!Tony

Steve: You’ve been evil this whole time?

Tony: What gave it away? The giant robot army?

Steve: Honestly? I thought that was just you being extra.

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Hydra!Peter

Steve: Wait, Hydra made you?

Peter: Yup. Spider powers and all.

Sam: Why aren’t you more messed up?

Steve: Sam!

Peter: I eat a lot of pizza. Helps balance things out.

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Vampire!Steve

Sam: You’re a what now?

Steve: A vampire.

Sam: ... You’re kidding, right?

Steve: *whining* No, and I haven’t had coffee in two days because it’s not blood!

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Symbiote!Peter

Tony: So, you’re being controlled by an alien symbiote, and you kept it on purpose!?

Peter: It helps me clean my room! I haven’t seen the floor in months!

Tony: *groaning* That’s not a reason to keep it, kid!