#incorrect iron man

[ramen8008]

Peter: Mr. stark can I borrow 2500 dollars?

Tony: Yeah sure but what's it for?

Peter: ...an escape room

Tony: what kind of escape room costs 2500 dollars??

Peter: ...prison

[i-a-q]

Peter: So… if you were a sandwich, what kind of sandwich would you be?

Tony: *without hesitation* A clubhouse, obviously. And you?

Peter: I’d probably be a peanut butter and jelly.

Tony: Of course, you would.

[incorrectmcuquotess]

Tony: Sometimes I think you were bred in a lab to help people.

Peter: You know what else they bred in a lab?

Tony: Steve.

Peter: I was gonna say pugs…

[1luna1lovegood1]

Tony: there's only one thing worse than losing!

Stephen: [rips off paper to make it say 'losing peter'] boom!

Peter, nodding: me.

Tony: no-

[i-au-a-q]

Evil!Tony

Harley: You’re evil now?

Tony: Decided it was time for a change of pace.

Harley: Cool. Can I have a laser cannon?

Tony: *grinning* That’s the spirit, kid.

[reginaphalangelobster]

Leaning

Peter: Hey,can you maybe help me with something? You: Sure, what do you need help with? Peter: You're good with like, flirting and stuff, right? You: Yep, meet a cute girl? or guy? Peter: Yeah, so what should I do? You: There are plenty of ways to go about this, but let's start with something easy and casual. Leaning. Peter: Leaning? You: Yeah, it works great, just look at Bucky. You and Peter look across the room to see Bucky and Steve talking. Peter: But they're just talking, and he's not even leaning. You: Just watch, he's about to lean against that chair. You look over and see Steve standing up straight and Bucky start to lean against the dining chair behind him. Peter: Lucky guess. You: Maybe, keep watching he's going to stand up for a moment and walk slightly closer to Steve before putting his hand on the wall next to Steve's head and lean in. Peter: No way, that's too specific. You: Watch. The scene played out exactly as you described it. Peter: Damn! How did you know? You: I am the master. Peter: So leaning, huh? You: Yep. Peter tries to lean against the wall but ends up falling on his ass and taking a vase with him. You: Yeah, not that. Peter huffs while he brushes the water off his chest and places the vase on the counter. You: Don't beat yourself up, kid. Not everyone can be Bucky. You point to the two super soldiers who begin to furiously make out. Peter: Ew! Old people kissing is gross. They stop and turn towards you and Peter. Bucky: I'll show you old you little punk. Bucky starts chasing Peter down the hall. You: Would you please get your Bucky to stop chasing my Peter? Steve: You know I can't. At that moment Peter runs around the corner screaming with Bucky still hot on his tail. You: *sighs* Yo, Peter, remember you're Spiderman? Peter: *huffing* Oh right. Peter climbs up the wall and onto the ceiling. Bucky jumps up, trying to grab Peter but failing. Steve: Use this *hands him a broom* You: Hey, not fair! Steve: If you get to help yours I get to help mine. Bucky knocks Peter off the ceiling and resumes chasing him around the room. Tony walks in. Tony: Again? That's three times this week. You: Yeah, We learned to stop counting. Steve: It's easier that way. Tony: Do I wanna know why he's wet? You and Steve: No Tony: Well we could at least get some popcorn. The three of you continue to watch the fight play out and eat popcorn.

[azerishi]

Tony, holding Rhodey's hands: Honeybear, platypus, love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Rhodey: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Tony: Absolutely not.

[societyfolklore]

Tony: Did you finish the mission? Natasha: I did it, but I didn’t like it. Tony: That’s the tagline of this team.