Higher, Higher

Victoria | random science person with a penchant for talking in an intoxicated manner | Greetings earthlings you can always come to me for all the hugs | feel free to ask anything I really, really love space "I bleed myself to be your drink: Is not the blood of poets- ink?" -William Soutar

[batmanego]

fuck this time loop im leaving (walks into a different, worse time loop)

[charlesoberonn]

[writing-prompt-s]

What are some chronic illnesses that can only occur in a fantasy setting?

[beleester]

Partial transformation - mummy rot is slowly turning you to sand, a near miss from a medusa left you with partially stoned body parts, etc.

Hypnotic suggestions from being mind controlled persist after the controller’s death, causing the victim to occasionally take actions to support the cause of a mind flayer cult that no longer exists.

Repeated demonic possession has left the patient with permanent gaps in their soul’s defenses, causing them to immediately get re-possessed if they go outside a consecrated area.

Post-resurrection trauma as the revived soul remembers an unpleasant afterlife.

Magical healing can get very weird if something is stuck in the wound. It’ll get you back on your feet, but you can get outcomes like “there’s a chunk of wood fused into your chest because the magic couldn’t figure out how to get the arrow out of your chest and just healed it in place,” and this can cause mobility issues or infection vectors down the line.

[ihasafandom]

SHealth tied to something else - the health of a tree, the amount of frost on the ground, the inverse of another person’s, the political power of whoever cursed you

Curse of bad luck - makes any small illness or injury potentially fatal if not treated with anti-curse in addition to anti-infection procedures

Magical reliance on a magical or nonmagical substance - can have any number of side effects

Repeatedly being drunk by vampires can cause an increase in blood production and therefore high blood pressure and related ailments. Can be treated by blood letting.

There’s a lot of hybridization happening in a lot of fantasy settings, and that’s just asking for a lot of people with weird half-dragon genetic disorders. Works out fine for some people, not so much for others.

Parasitized by (insert creature here). If you don’t take the correct precautions to keep it dormant it will continue to spread and eventually hatch out/transform you.

Repeated contact with the undead has left you open to their influence - leading to hearing or seeing things that other mortals can’t, which can distort or distract from more mundane concerns.

Alternately to being more vulnerable to intrusion, one’s soul can form a scar that makes helpful magic more difficult to take in.

Sleep disorders that make one fall into an impenetrable sleep at a specific trigger, or to do so for years at a time.

Out of phase with 4D space, one’s body not connected to itself or anchored in place/time in the usual way. There could be a consistent two hour gap between the things you hear and what has happened, you might clip into the floor as if it was in a different place for you, or you might slide through the material plane in cross section.

Intermittent intangibility.

Split into two people, each with only half your traits.

Stuck in a mirror.

[ihasafandom]

Sensitivity to ambient magic - like the thing where peoples’ joints ache before a storm but for being near ley lines or people with a lot of magic built up or other magic reservoirs. - The potential for magic, but where the magic has not yet begun.

[knives-in-the-dishwater]

Heal spell dependency: years of repeated serious injuries being healed by magic causes the body to stop healing naturally. seen often in professional fighters and those with a long career in hazardous occupations.

the forgotten dread: memory modification magic has caused the subject’s conscious mind to forget some past trauma, but their subconscious still remembers, causing them emotions that they cannot explain or justify ranging from mild discomfort to blind panic when presented with triggers related to the aforementioned trauma. often encountered in cases where the subject has paid an unscrupulous mage to make them forget their past as an ill-advised alternative to therapy.

Psychically Transmitted Memories: the subject’s mind has been linked to another person’s and, although the bond has since been severed, they have retained memories or thought patterns from the other person that are difficult to distinguish from their own.

Negative Life Syndrome (previously “False Life Syndrome”): seen most often in cases when the subject is exposed to dark magic while in the womb, Negative Life Syndrome leaves the subject’s life energies tainted by undeath without making them truly undead. common symptoms include intolerance of radiant magic, aversion to sunlight, and the inability to set foot on hallowed ground; rare symptoms include healing from negative energies, sudden necrosis, and the desire to eat flesh or drink blood of living beings.

lycanthropy

Early Life Possessions: the subject was possessed by a spirit or demon during early childhood or infancy, and the possessing presence was in control of them when they learned important milestones, such as how to walk or speak. The subject is now dependant upon the possessing presence to help them perform these tasks or, in cases where the presence has since been exorcised, performs the relevant tasks at a level appropriate for an infant or small child.

[kiragecko]

Body requires nutrients not found in human food, and you must eat rocks, or gems, or some other alternative. You may or may not have the ability to actually digest these without magical assistance

Awareness of too many dimensions makes it difficult to interact with just this one - either to keep track of conversations, or walk to specific locations without ending up on another planet instead

Telekinetic psychosis - delusions tend to physically affect those around you (but HIGH chance for ableism in this one!)

you have flare-ups where your skin tends to slough off and be replaced by some other substance

After sharing life energy with a dying loved one, you’re now both trying to survive off one person’s supply. Like chronic fatigue, but if your loved one gets too big of a bruise you won’t have the energy to get up until it heals

living in reverse

stuck at a certain age

supersenses lead to constant overstimulation

you’re a changeling, and if you don’t have someone who loves you close by, you’ll turn back into sticks and mud

[prophetic-writer]

"How do you write such realistic dialogue-" I TALK TO MYSELF. I TALK TO MYSELF AND I PRETEND I AM THE ONE SAYING THE LINE. LIKE SANITY IS SLOWLY SLIPPING FROM BETWEEN MY FINGERS WITH EVERY MEASLY WORD THEY TYPE OUT. THAT IS HOW.

[cheeto-flavoured-pasta]

You will not use AI to get ideas for your story. You will lie on the floor and have wretched visions like god intended

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

[dreaming-shark]

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

[ailithnight]

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

[chequerootlurks]

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

[thatdisasterauthor]

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

[swindle94]

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

[fromchaostocosmos]

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

[terulakimban]

Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna. 

A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted. 

[midrashic]

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

[kriladoodles]

I do wonder how lesbian/bisexual lumberjack-mimickry fits into this

[marablake]

I can say as a former craft store worker that if you wish to see true fear, look into the eyes of a Dad who must venture into a craft store. Despite the overlap of familiar beings known to him from his native hardware store habitat, Dads are instinctively aware that craft stores are not for them; they contain unfamiliar perils and even the seemingly familiar may have strange variances and unnerving secrets. (”Why is this airbrush so small? What do you mean nails, why would you… WUT!!”)

Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts, Models, or Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.

Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited for megafauna such as themselves.

Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbians’ temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.

Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.

The only truly invasive species that threaten craft stores are Brides-to-Be, who are mere annoyances individually, but like locusts may descend in hordes and lay waste, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Fortunately for the Craft Ladies, Brides-to-Be are seasonal and usually only a threat in the spring and early summer.

[link-the-feral-anon]

It Got Better

[fireflyfish]

Is anybody going to address the newly invasive species of BuJo enthusiasts into the craft store/art supply store environment? Why aren’t we talking about the dangerous proliferation of Leuchtturm 1917s and the growing threat of Dotted Moleskins? I had to liberate a Dad from a tangle of washi tape in the art supply store the other day and it wasn’t pretty.

[rpendleton]

The natural habitat of journalers was stationary stores, which have been replaced by office supplies stores, not the same. Journalers invade the craft stores and art supplies stores to get the markers and washi tape and Sakura pens they require for survival.

[greatatuintheworldturtle]

@great-art-and-a-purple-tongue @onbearfeet THE LORE HAS BEEN UPDATED.

[onbearfeet]

VERY IMPORTANT AND ENTIRELY ACCURATE now excuse me I gotta hit Lowes and Michaels.

[gothiccharmschool]

Another thing to note is all of those habitats must adapt to the seasonal migration of goths. As soon as the faintest hint of spooky can be detected at those stores, goths will arrive in packs. A small pack of goths determined to forage can strip the shelves of a seasonal section bare in 30 minutes.

[tropiyas]

“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

classic texts have nothing on the crazy people come up with in modern times tbh

[cerastes]

“I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.”

– Joshua Graham, Who Is A Fallout New Vegas NPC, Something Most People Throwing This Quote Around Don’t Realize

[sparkylurkdragon]

“If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight like I always have.”

– Shadow the Hedgehog in what is widely considered one of if not the single worst game in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise

[tarradash]

[spookyscaryskeletitties]

this is the source for this text and it haunts me on a regular basis

[onion-souls]

[oblivionsongstress]

“Pick a god and pray.”

-Fredrick from Fire Emblem Awakening

[jedijenkins]

Huh, it’s almost like art isn’t just fine art…

[mysteryseeker]

this is my addition to this ever growing list of raw quotes originating from unexpected sources

[knucklesandgyros]

[silver-tongues-blog]

[lostsometime]

#discovering that the profound is lurking behind the absurd#just waiting for the chance to peek through like sunlight through the clouds#is one of the best things in life once you start to notice it

this is a beautiful way to put it and i’m gonna cry abt it

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

this post has gotten so much better since the last time I saw it

[rolanslide]

I would like to add

[rolanslide]

“You want to be a hero, Tommy? Then die like one.”

- Technoblade from Dream SMP

We deserve a soft epilogue, my love

- A Stucky fanfiction

[gattinidiguerra]

Truly the best shit on the internet here.

[stormfalcon2018]

Ahem @bettinalevyisdetermined could you please do a video with this?

also “you’re not brave, you’ve merely forgotten the fear of death. Allow me to reacquaint you.” Is the rawest line and it’s from dominus ghaul from destiny 2’s vanilla story when it first released.

[dat-physics-gal]

How can we forget the quote that sums up this entire reblog chain:

Why do you people feel profound thought has to come from high places? The gutter looks at the stars too

[hitmanmason]

“Spare me this mockery of justice!” (A few minutes later, a with a different character) “Silence! Or you shall be held in contempt of court!” “I have nothing *but* contempt for this court!” The Transformers: The Movie (1986)

[eric-coldfire]

“For every kid that dreams up the electric lightbulb, there’s one who dreams up the atom bomb.” - Mr. Electric, The Adventures of Sharkboy And Lavagirl (2005).

[woonanonhatesstaff]

“I like turtles!” - turtle kid

[mithrel]

“If the sea were of ink and the sky parchment I could not begin to write my love for you.”

Grandma Arbuckle reading a love letter in A Garfield Christmas.

[the-haiku-bot]

Grandma Arbuckle

reading a love letter in

A Garfield Christmas.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[sgchan]

[heehoothefool]

@tenebrisimpyris

[iamnmbr3]

the number of times harry describes draco in ways that make it clear he thinks of him as his main nemesis is so funny given that voldemort is the one who keeps trying to murder harry

voldemort out there like: can i please get some respect over here?

[mimi-maru]

Chappell Roan as Botticelli’s Venus 🐚

[iwtv2022]

The completely different vibes of the censored and uncensored lines...

[armandcain]

yeah

[graveyardcuddles]

[cuntessa-lestat]

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

The Vampire Lestat returns

[thoodleoo]

hades explaining that he’s the god of the dead, not the god of death

[moonlitlillypop]

Thanatos explaining that he’s the god of death, not hades

[moonlitlillypop]

Thanatos explaining that it applies to animals too

[mando-lore]

Poseidon explaining that he is the god of the seas and oceans

[roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it]

Zeus explaining why he can’t keep it in his pants

[miceprincess]

Hermes explaining why he gotta go fast

[memesandmylife]

dionysus explaining why he’s Like That

[femur-theif]

All of these are so accurate it hurts

[glass-trash-bab]

@nicadenic

[lesbian-velma-rights]

Also Hermes, God of messengers

[confusedwitch-deactivated202412]

And Eris, Goddess of discord and chaos

[thethinkingaurora]

Oh my god I’m dying, these are all just consecutive sucker punch’s straight to the nose

Help

[william-solace-aaaaa-deactivate]

Ares, the god of war

[gracerings]

iwtv doing the 'evil version' of popular romance tropes is so funny to me.

there's only one bed? well what about there's only one coffin because the other one got thrown off a window as a direct fuck you to the love interest?

enemies to lovers? yeah because one of them has been psychosexually tortured by the other and in retaliation ruined his marriage.

exes to lovers? sure but their separation is due to one of them murdering the other and then entering a new 77-year relationship out of spite with the guy who killed his daughter.

age gap? and it's the oldest and the youngest character but NOT in the way you think.

friends to lovers? eh probably not but you get a friend pairing and they bond over getting their memories fucked with by their shared boyfriend.

guy who hates everyone and likes only you? how about a guy who won't subject anyone to the horrors of vampirism EXCEPT you because you pissed him off THAT much?

grumpy x sunshine? how about theatre kid x guy who fucking HATES theatre kids and yet dates TWO of them?

forced proximity? try being in a 70+ year relationship with a guy you find maddeningly BORING just to spite your ex!

[mitraavrs]

lestat gets cancelled again immediately after the article gets published

swifties dont come at me this is all just jokes pls

[gruntsandpoetry]

louis whispering in lestat's ear and kissing his face gently is all i care about this is all i'm talking about until season 3 goodbye

[jamiietartt]

Know only this, mon cher, you are the only being i trust, and whom i love, above and beyond myself.

[grndelwalds]

FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE

Gellert Grindelwald’s Very Successful Guide to Getting His Husband Back