Ignotus Alchemedia

The jerk face formerly known as Jirris, now Laurel. Genderqueer Gleeful Furry Trash and smut-peddler. Social Justice Rogue 3/Pastrymancer 4/Arcane Trickster 2. Amicable Humanist. They/them or He/Him pronouns please.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[edromyheart]

[killedbyanacorn]

[wizard-of-the-cave]

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

[queen-scribbles]

[matt-ruins-your-shit]

All great suggestions 

[kryptonians]

[heatandapathy]

This post gets better every time I see it

[king-co0pa]

[sodiscreetlysympathetic-deactiv]

[lyraxite]

@grawly

[probablybadrpgideas]

There’s a lot of jokes about GMs putting their kinks into the stories. Throw your players for a loop by putting a kink you don’t have in your story! Now everyone thinks you’re into vore! Prank point, you!

[ignotus-alchemedia]

I did this, and joked about my game being "awful vore hell".

[clickholeofficial]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[acuriousmagpie]

Jersey Devil.

[writeswrongs]

Black activists in Portland are being threatened with legal action after they defended themselves against some nazi terrorists in town. Give them money to eat and defend themselves because these nazis ain’t gonna punch themselves.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

I’ve seen the Ursula K LeGuin quote about capitalism going around, but to really appreciate it you have to know the context.

The year is 2014. She has been given a lifetime achievement award from the National Book Awards. Neil Gaiman puts it on her neck in front of a crowd of booksellers who bankrolled the event, and it’s time to make a standard “thank you for this award, insert story here, something about diversity, blah blah blah” speech. She starts off doing just that, thanking her friends and fellow authors. All is well.

Then this old lady from Oregon looks her audience of executives dead in the eye, and says “Developing written material to suit sales strategies in order to maximize corporate profit and advertising revenue is not the same thing as responsible book publishing or authorship.”

She rails against the reduction of her art to a commodity produced only for profit. She denounces publishers who overcharge libraries for their products and censor writers in favor of something “more profitable”. She specifically denounces Amazon and its business practices, knowing full well that her audience is filled with Amazon employees. And to cap it off, she warns them: “We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art. Very often in our art, the art of words.”

Ursula K LeGuin got up in front of an audience of some of the most powerful people in publishing, was expected to give a trite and politically safe argument about literature, and instead told them directly “Your empire will fall. And I will help it along.”

[woolandcoffee]

We stan an icon.

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

It’s time for artists to stop personifying Gluttony as a fat person and start personifying them as a billionaire capitalist who surrounds themselves with luxury at the expense of the poor.

[invisible-goats]

I like this but also in the seven deadly sins there’s avarice (ie love of money) as well as greed/gluttony.

I’d replace it with people spending a fortune on ridiculous food trends

[20furiousbluebirds]

Compromise- Every sin is a billionaire! Gluttony is the hedonist who spends billions on fancy foods and luxurious beds while people starve on the streets around them. Greed is the tax-evader who stores all their wealth in a maze of offshore accounts and shell companies, who’d prefer to never be able to use it then to risk someone else taking a penny. Lust is the predator who thinks only in terms of power, and is surrounded only by people they can bribe or bully. Wrath is the conservative who insists the poor and needy are “stealing” from them, who looks at every soup kitchen and benefit payment as a personal insult against them. Envy is the ladder-climber only cares about their own success, stabbing anyone that could their friend in the back for a fancier office and another 0 on their salary. Sloth is the trust-fund kid, who has lived their whole life on their parents money and has never so much as cleaned a table without a servant stepping in. Pride is the elitist who insists they worked hard for everything they own, they deserve everything, they’re only richer then the rest of us because they’re better then everyone else. The best part is you can cut down on drawing time because they’re usually all the same person!

[dinosaurrainbowstarfish]

This is probably the most biblically accurate way to draw the seven deadly sins

[thymechaos]

THIS is the fucking hot take we all needed and deserved

[ignotus-alchemedia]

When someone says "love of money is the root of all evil" this is exactly what is meant.

[editorincreeps-deactivated20180]

Princess Bride themed restaurant. Waiters say “as you wish” after taking your order.

Finish the Fezzik in an hour, your meal is free.

Come in a wheelbarrow, your meal is 10% off.

[pkeranodon]

Every so often the hostess will say “bye bye boys, have fun storming the castle!” as people are leaving.

Miracle Max’s Cure for the Mostly Dead is on the menu and its a giant chocolate cakeball.

The servers will sometimes switch your wines after distracting you.

They sell Anybody Want a Peanut Brittle at the door.

[princess-starr]

“There are a shortage of perfect chicken breasts in the world. Twould be a pity not to order these.”

[angrila]

“Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. I’ll be your server. Prepare to dine.”

[pathofneedlespathofpins-deactiv]

Instead of “large,” you get an item of unusual size.

People on their anniversary get to listen to a recitation of the mawidge speech.

The kitchen door says “Brute Squad.”

[bethanyactually]

When servers bring drinks to your table, they casually mention one of them might have iocane powder in it.

[breelandwalker]

On certain nights, you can engage the bartender in a battle of wits. If you win, you get a free drink. Beware - the bartender is a Sicilian.

If you can recite Westley’s “To The Pain” speech or Vizzini’s part from “Battle of Wits” from memory, you get 10% off.

The dessert menu is called The Gate Key. The servers all say there is no gate key. If you respond with “Fezzik, tear their arms off,” they’ll produce it with a reply of “Oh you means THIS gate key.”

[shortkingwolfdad]

@itsybitsytardis YOURE WELCOME

[doodleborg]

I’d always have 10% off because I CAN recite Vizzini’s line from the battle of wits!

[flowisaconstruct-deactivated202]

I’d always have 10% off because I know how to come in a wheelbarrow.

[daniredux]

this post had me at “prepare to dine”.

[lettingthewaterholdmedown-deact]

ROUS burgers

[medic981]

When the server brings the bill…

[jazzypizzaz]

[thewonderzebra]

Oh thank god someone finally did this

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

holy shit the u.s. literally has more guns than people why did i not know this

[beckitty]

Fucking hell America, you have a problem.

[dogged-hot]

Is this… not how it is in other countries too

[antique-scarecrow]

no they literally had to create another category on the map for us

source: Map of civilian guns per 100 people by country

we have 120 guns per 100 people. the country with the 2nd highest has 64 per 100. most countries have < 5 per 100

this is as far from normal as you can get 

[kurlyfryz]

They’re also number one in defense spending (Military), but here’s the thing

America spends more on military than the next 7 people on that list combined

[elfwreck]

We really should stop calling that “defense” spending. We’re not defending against anything. It’s military spending.

[official-arnie-nutts]

The US needs a collective therapist.

[ignotus-alchemedia]

The number of us here who are in the position of being stuck in the grip of a potentially fatal abusive relationship and no money or safe houses agree with you.

[copperbadge]

Steve Rogers did not wait for the Serum to get to work on beatin’ himself some Nazis. 

[She-Hulk 10, 2014]

[spider-gwen76]

Tell em Steve!

[feliciates]

Steve Rogers isn’t great because he’s Captain America.  Captain America is great because he’s Steve Rogers.

[tin-can-iron-man]

*tour guide voice* and on your left you can see that pre-serum Steve gave exactly zero fucks about a gun in his face

[sirfrogsworth]

Monica Lewinsky is funnier than all of the comedians who made shitty jokes about her. 

[dreamsequencer]

Monica Lewinsky is a queen and should be treated as such

[teaboot]

From a Christian stand, would it be fair to consider Nationalism the worship of a false idol?

[teaboot]

I’m just saying, if I had a replica of the golden cow and I stood in front of it in a golden cow t-shirt and golden cow hat with golden cow tattoos, held up a gun and threatened to shoot and kill anyone who disrespected the golden cow, or at the very least beat the shit out of them and remove them from their homes, I feel like it’d raise some red flags

[teaboot]

Like yeah I worship God and follow His teachings above all else, but like… not if they go against the Golden Cow

[mommacomms]

AND THAT’S THE TEA

[queerbauten]

Catholicism is not an aesthetic.

The Pope is not just “some guy” you can throw into your story as an (oppressive) authority figure.

The Blessed Virgin Mary is not some ambiguous pretty woman to be used as as pseudo-symbolism.

St. Joan of Arc is not your cool historical woman.

Rosaries are not pretty necklaces.

These people and things are not just… “things” you can just use as archetypes or “symbolism” for your story. They have histories, they have stories, they have meanings.

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

People in the notes really bottom-bothered they can’t make everything a ham-fisted Jesus metaphor lmao.

[mitoticcephalopod]

If it pisses off Catholics it’s objectively good

[argumate]

regardless of whether it pisses anyone off or not, what do people think Christianity is but an assemblage of tropes and symbols and appropriation of earlier mythology?

[prettyponyprincess-prancespiety]

Have you seen the number of forms the Virgin Mary has taken? She’s nothing but an ambiguous pretty woman to be slapped on as many things as possible to give them spiritual legitimacy.

[argumate]

please don’t slap ambiguously pretty women, even if they did give birth to a demigod

[squareallworthy]

*slaps roof of virgin mary* This bad boy can fit so much syncretism into it!