i'm not here

guessimherenow doesn't have the same ring to it, y'know? —–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–— abandon all hope, ye who would view my likes section. —–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–— i reblog many things #boop —–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–——–-·-–—

[imnothereyet]

making a new post to pin, i am going to add links below the cut to posts i find important.

i'll try to add relevant tag descriptions when i can too.

#a good reminder #reblogging to find it again #reference ~ are all stuff i want to more easily find, i am not always consistent about which ones i use for what topic though sadly.

#hehehehehehehe ~ is stuff that makes me laugh anytime i see it.

#boop ~ a reminder to interact instead of just looking at shit, cause it's more fun for everyone this way ♥️

#progredi vel ascende - a shortened version of a phrase i use to remind myself of my goals in latin. the full phrase is "with every step you take, move forward or ascend."

#OP for once - for the very few times i actually post something, basically my own "not a reblog" tag lol

no you know what I'm going to scream about the stuff I talked about in the tags of this post publicly I'm tired of the well-meaning "don't

the boop & reblog post ↑

everybodys gotta get back into the practice of using pseudonyms online... i remember the time of screen names where u never ever told anyone

username lore ↑

various posts i want to find quickly ↓

i'm not here

so many of the transfems i know spent their time pre-transition performing a kind of lifelong exercise in self-deprivation. the goal, for th

apparently, I joined this tumblr place at 10/18/14, 2:12:23 AM.

[iimnothereyet]

sorry for the numver of posts today, on here & my original account. i realized i never posted the bulk of my drafts which i was holding onto for reference purposes, so i've been digging through them to transfer some & just post the rest

[imnothereyet]

alright, i only have like 5 drafts left now. i think there were like 250+ before i started lol

[studyburst]

I LOVE Excel! I took an Excel class during University and I’ve never stopped using or learning about it since. During my summer internship, I would literally use Excel functions and macros for hours every single day. Even if you don’t want to be an Excel fanatic, learning a few basic functions will make your life easier (and even impress a few managers along the way!).

I’ve outlined below some of the most useful Excel functions to learn. Some of these functions are very basic but can make a huge difference. These functions save time, automate procedures, and make your life easier! And if you need some help on how to learn them, I’ve listed some helpful resources to get you started. With all of us social distancing at home, now is as good of a time as any to add a skill to your resume. 

Excel Functions to Know:

SUM: returns sum of cells selected

SUMPRODUCT: multiplies ranges or arrays together and returns the sum of product

IF: return one value for a TRUE result and another for a FALSE result

SUMIF: returns the sum of cells if the cell meets a single condition

AVERAGEIF: computes the average of the numbers in a range that meets a certain criteria

VLOOKUP: lookup and retrieve data from a specific column in a table can be exact or approximate match

LEFT: returns a given number of characters from the left side of text string

RIGHT: returns a given number of characters from the right side of text string

CONCATENATE: joins the text of cells together and returns the joined text in one cell

LENGTH: returns the given number of characters in a text

Resources:

Excel Jet: Very useful as a type of Excel dictionary to look up syntax and specific formulas you don’t know

Excel Easy: almost like on online textbook for Excel (great resource for those who have no knowledge of Excel at all!)

Udemy: paid excel course with lots of videos, assignments, and downloadable resources

Coursera: self-paced learning option, quizzes and assignments, and a course certificate

Excel Youtube Course by Technology for Teachers and Students

Datacamp (7/12/20 edit thanks anon for the suggestion!)

Prologue to my Excel series

I’ll also be posting Excel tips, tricks, function explanations, and some basic Excel tutorials so if you’d like to see more appear on your dash in the future, follow my blog and look for my Excel series.

[recapitulation]

meal ideas!

low energy ("do not ask me to do any prep work at all, so help me god")

mozzerella cheese wrapped in pepperoni ("pizza tacos"!)

hummus and pretzels or naan (putting the naan in the microwave for like 10 seconds...heavenly)

canned chili (with shredded cheese and sour cream if you have it! boom done!)

instant miso soup (warm and lovely!)

cheese and cured meat, olives, canned fish, crackers, dried fruit, or whatever easy "charcuterie" type items you like

alternate bites of apple and spoonfulls of peanut butter (mixing honey or chocolate chips to the peanut butter is my favorite)

a "deconstructed sandwich": bites of lunch meat, pickles, cheese, cherry tomato, etc (I love roast beef and white cheddar for this)

yogurt and granola or fruit

medium energy ("I'll boil water but don't ask me to chop shit")

boiled eggs and fresh veggies (put a little salt on top of the eggs for pizzaz!)

buttered noodles (take it up to level 10 and add roasted garlic; takes 30 mins in an oven, only one swoop of the knife required)

baked potato with toppings (I like cheese, bacon, broccoli, green onion, and sour cream)

quesadilla (add some canned beans, cilantro, or avocado!)

pot roast (requires a lot of time but not a lot of actual work. I love it with peas!)

cuban sandwich (bread, swiss, pickle, mustard, ham... my favorite thing to panini-ify by far)

pan-fried tofu with scallion sauce (this sauce goes well with everything and tofu is no exception)

pancakes or waffles! (I love mine with jam)

ham, pickle, and cream cheese roll-ups

fried eggs (with toast and lots of butter...so comforting)

fruit smoothie (bananas, frozen strawberries, yogurt...or whatever!)

I hate salad but could write essays on this copycat olive garden salad (throw it in a bowl! chopping required if you use onion)

spaghetti (controversial maybe but angel hair > spaghetti noodles)

pasta salad (olives broccoli fresh mozerella... those little mini pepperonis... yeah)

high energy ("I don't mind chopping some things up!")

stuffed shells with spinach

chicken and roasted garlic (oh my god.....one of my all time favorites)

beef tacos (I like mine with cilantro and onion, and when I'm feeling especially high energy I love a tomatillo salsa)

chicken alfredo

tom kha gai (a thai soup and my absolute favorite! you just need access to galangal)

lasagna! (freezes well and then boom! low energy meal for later)

pad thai! (not as hard as you'd think, as long as you have access to tamarind paste!)

potstickers! (this is a lovely group activity if you want to cook with housemates!)

rice and beans

bang bang shrimp (ogughfhgfuh I love it. you can also do bang bang tofu!)

minestrone soup (so many nice veggies!)

fried rice (put whatever you have on hand in there! broccoli, peas, carrot, and beef is my favorite combo)

broccoli cheddar soup

spring rolls and peanut sauce

skewers (such as beef, onion, zucchini, bell pepper... you don't need a grill, oven works!)

roasted turkey with garlic parmesean asparagus

pork chop with mashed potatoes

other tips:

whenever you think of a meal you'd like to make, take 3 seconds to google search it, take a screenshot of the image results, and put it in a "food ideas" folder. instant visual menu!

if you're on instagram, there are a bajillion different recipe accounts that post videos! a few of my favorites: jipsoon_kitchen, eatwitzo, cordandthekitchen, chungeats, tiffy.cooks, two_plaid_aprons

[witchaj]

This is all great!

I got this website from a nutritionist and it’s become my absolute favorite way to find new recipes. The search filter options are fantastic! Sorting by method really helps me because I think that’s what makes the biggest difference in how much energy you need.

Visit here to search all of our posts in a comprehensive recipe index. You can find whatever you're looking for to fit your health needs her

And here are some other ideas for low/medium energy meals:

Cottage cheese with crackers, fruits and/or veggies.

Guacamole with veggies and/or tortilla chips

Chickpeas/garbanzo beans with tzatziki. You could add rice, lettuce/spinach, and/or pita.

Buffalo cauliflower with yogurt dip. You can roast or microwave the cauliflower, top it with hot sauce, and add bleu cheese or shredded cheddar on top.

[burning-cathedrals-deactivated2]

When I was a (unmedicated, undiagnosed ADHD) kid, like, under 12, my room was a mess all the time. Not shocking.

I struggled keeping it clean.

I struggled getting it clean.

I would sincerely put in quite a bit of effort and be really proud of the progress I made. Then one of my parents would come check and see how I was doing.

"Well, you've still got a long way to go."

That sentence. I was like, 11 when my parents were saying that to me. It was crushing. All my pride and satisfaction with my work was completely gone. All my effort was worthless to them. All they saw what everything I didn't do.

At the age of ELEVEN, I knew that wasn't right. That wasn't fair. I swore to myself I would never invalidate someone's work like that.

Now, at 30, I catch myself thinking 'I cleaned up, but my apartment is still so messy.' and I flashback to standing in my bedroom as a child, hearing those fucking words from my parents.

'No. I wouldn't invalidate someone else's work. I'm not going to invalidate my own. I did good. I made progress.' and I'll list the things that I DID get done to myself.

You deserve credit for all the progress you make.

You deserve credit for all the work you do.

It doesn't matter how much work you have left.

What you accomplish, no matter how small, counts. Even when what you accomplished was taking a day to rest and recharge and give yourself a break.

Never let anyone invalidate your work. Not even you.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

on the commission grind on my frankenstein shit

[whobotcha]

Does it work?? How

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

astonishingly well actually

(yes its literally just a nib taped to a compass)

the commission is for someone looking for me to do up a faux band poster for his and his buddies' dad metal band

[mydonkeyfeet]

Help other people love you!

One of my mental health mottos is "help other people love you."

Do friends forget your birthday, but they love you and feel bad? Tell them ahead of time, cheerfully, happily, that your birthday is coming up! (Also buy yourself a present! Bring cake to school/work like when we were kids!)

Are you lonely and nobody has noticed your absence or reached out in a while? Tell them and ask for some love! Invite them for coffee! You're the expert on your own mindset, so you can take control.

Do you need help that you know they would offer if they knew, but you're afraid to ask for it? Ask, and be blunt, not vague hints they might miss. Good people love being able to help!

A friend wants to buy you lunch but you feel awkward about it? Let them! Friends love showing you love! Don't make it harder for them, make it easy! Then you'll both be happy.

I don't always live up to my own motto, which is why I need it burned into my brain, but it has helped me a lot, especially in times of depression when my tendency is to withdraw. It's healthier to reach out and say "I need love right now, please give me some." It's not always easy, but knowing that it's a rule makes it easier.

Make it easy for your loved ones to show you love! Including yourself!

[laeffy]

system of a clown. you ever think of that

[elecmon]

[femmepathy]

[butyoutoldmeiwasfunny]

[hussyknee]

Y'all this is a real disorder.

Chronic Shame - Rewriting The Rules

This post is a summary of Pat deYoung's boook about chronic shame, dealing with what shame is, how it develops, and how we can work with it.

Also see: symptoms of Complex PTSD and moral Scrupulosity from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (especially the Pure Obsession variant). Living with debilitating shame is NOT normal and it's usually a result of untreated anxiety from trauma or abuse.

[the-real-seebs]

i have known people who struggle with this, and it's... not great. it is not making you better. it's just making you sad.

[dozydawn]

[jesusinstilettos]

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

[peachilydreams]

♡ asks ♡

 Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

[cassassinated]

I miss the days when, no matter how slow your internet was, if you paused any video and let it buffer long enough, you could watch it uninterrupted

[mythicalwashrag]

[useful-info-haver]

If you use Firefox, you can go to the about:config page, search for "media.mediasource.enabled" and double click on it to set it to false. After you restart Firefox, all youtube videos will load entirely even when paused! This also affects other streaming websites :)

[reasonsforhope]

By the way, you can improve your executive function. You can literally build it like a muscle.

Yes, even if you’re neurodivergent. I don’t have ADHD, but it is allegedly a thing with ADHD as well. And I am autistic, and after a bunch of nerve damage (severe enough that I was basically housebound for 6 months), I had to completely rebuild my ability to get my brain to Do Things from what felt like nearly scratch.

This is specifically from ADDitude magazine, so written specifically for ADHD (and while focused in large part on kids, also definitely includes adults and adult activities):

How to Sharpen Executive Functions: Activities to Hone Brain Skills

Executive functioning skills range from working memory to cognitive flexibility to inhibitory control, and beyond. They power our daily func

Here’s a link on this for autism (though as an editor wow did that title need an editor lol):

Enhancing Executive Functioning Difficulties in Adults with Autism

Practical Strategies for Enhancing Executive Functioning Difficulties in Adults With Autism - Living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) as

Resources on this aren’t great because they’re mainly aimed at neurotypical therapists or parents of neurdivergent children. There’s worksheets you can do that help a lot too or thought work you can do to sort of build the neuro-infrastructure for tasks.

But a lot of the stuff is just like. fun. Pulling from both the first article and my own experience:

Play games or video games where you have to make a lot of decisions. Literally go make a ton of picrews or do online dress-up dolls if you like. It helped me.

Art, especially forms of art that require patience, planning ahead, or in contrast improvisation

Listening to longform storytelling without visuals, e.g. just listening regularly to audiobooks or narrative podcasts, etc.

Meditation

Martial arts

Sports in general

Board games like chess or Catan (I actually found a big list of what board games are good for building what executive functioning skills here)

Woodworking

Cooking

If you’re bad at time management play games or video games with a bunch of timers

Things can be easier. You do not have to be stuck forever.

[howtomusicmajor]

How to Handle Having TOO MUCH To Do

So let’s say you’re in the same boat I am (this is a running theme, have you noticed?) and you’ve just got, like, SO MUCH STUFF that HAS to get done YESTERDAY or you will DIE (or fail/get fired/mope). Everything needs to be done yesterday, you’re sick, and for whatever reason you are focusing on the least important stuff first. What to do!

Take a deep breath, because this is a boot camp in prioritization.

Make a 3 by 4 grid. Make it pretty big. The line above your top row goes like this: Due YESTERDAY - due TOMORROW - due LATER. Along the side, write: Takes 5 min - Takes 30 min - Takes hours - Takes DAYS.

Divide ALL your tasks into one of these squares, based on how much work you still have to do. A thank you note for a present you received two weeks ago? That takes 5 minutes and was due YESTERDAY. Put it in that square. A five page paper that’s due tomorrow? That takes an hour/hours, place it appropriately. Tomorrow’s speech you just need to rehearse? Half an hour, due TOMORROW. Do the same for ALL of your tasks

Your priority goes like this:

5 minutes due YESTERDAY

5 minutes due TOMORROW

Half-hour due YESTERDAY

Half-hour due TOMORROW

Hours due YESTERDAY

Hours due TOMORROW

5 minutes due LATER

Half-hour due LATER

Hours due LATER

DAYS due YESTERDAY

DAYS due TOMORROW

DAYS due LATER

At this point you just go down the list in each section. If something feels especially urgent, for whatever reason - a certain professor is hounding you, you’re especially worried about that speech, whatever - you can bump that up to the top of the entire list. However, going through the list like this is what I find most efficient.

Some people do like to save the 5 minute tasks for kind of a break between longer-running tasks. If that’s what you want to try, go for it! You’re the one studying here.

So that’s how to prioritize. Now, how to actually do shit? That’s where the 20/10 method comes in. It’s simple: do stuff like a stuff-doing FIEND for 20 minutes, then take a ten minute break and do whatever you want. Repeat ad infinitum. It’s how I’ve gotten through my to do list, concussed and everything.

You’ve got this. Get a drink and start - we can do our stuff together!

[eleanor-is-fine]

This approach also helps if (when) you need to ask for help, or advice, or an adjusted deadline.

Enhancements

Set up an hour with a buddy and each work through their list for two 20/10 cycles

Use a timer rather than trying to watch the clock. You can extend work time when the timer goes off or take a break earlier if you finish earlier but Take Those Breaks.

Take a good hard look at those items sitting in the Due Yesterday column and the Due Later columns. If there are tasks that really belong in a SOMEDAY column, make a different list or break it up into smaller steps. If they belong in a NEVER column, send a text or email to the person expecting it and say “sorry I just can’t” and move on.

You got this!

[star-anise]

THINGS I NEED TO FUCKING KNOW: Why every fuckin trans man or nb person I know who binds is like “oh binders are the worst, you can’t breathe in them, I know someone who broke a rib once”,

And meanwhile over in historical costuming, we are fucking eating, sleeping, swordfighting, riding horses, and feeling great like this:

(credit: Jenny La Flamme, The Tudor Tailor, Verdaera)

Like is there NO overlap between people who want to bind and people who care about accurate 16th century clothing reconstruction techniques?

(I, okay, maybe it is kind of a niche interest, but…. REALLY? Anyone who’s made a boned binder, PLS SPEAK TO ME)

Keep reading

[badassindistress]

Omigods yes that’s what I used to make my trial binding corset for under a 1830′s gentleman’s costume! I adapted the Elizabethan Pattern Generator Corset to look more like the gentleman’s corset of the time as portrayed in satirical cartoons.

This was only the second pair of stays I made, but it already made me practically flat and was quite comfortable. I didn’t even full bone it and it looked like this:

(don’t judge me for the awful way the boning sticks out at the top, I am by no means a corsetry expert)

People who are actually good at stays will be able to make things like these with no trouble, because if something made from old sheets and recycled boning can do this, imagine what you can do with proper materials.

Just for fun, here’s me in my gentleman’s outfit:

It basically eliminates my boobs, but leaves the hips alone because at that time the hourglass silhouette was fashionable for men as well. I’m not exactly flat-chested, so I’d say for a first attempt this one is very succesful.

[dawen]

…okay, was anyone going to tell me that gentlemen’s corsets were A Thing or did I just have to learn that in a random reblog myself

[official-boob-posts]

they absolutely make corsets for men and they turn me a bit ravenous every time

[marzipanandminutiae]

(in the mid-late 19th century, at least, they were more often called “health belts” and marketed much like weight belts are today. in practice, though, the number of satirical cartoons depicting dandies lacing down suggests that they were publically perceived as vanity tools more than aids for heavy lifting. where the truth of their most common purpose lies is a mystery; I would guess somewhere in the middle)

[thisiswhymomworries]

@star-anise genuine answer to the question:

it is because everyone says binders hurt and compress and break your ribs. when you’re first seeing information about binding, it’s all about how binding is unsafe and will physically hurt. I don’t mean to lecture you, just to give a real answer to the question

and the answer is that by the time someone works up the courage to start binding, they have–at minimum–seen multiple sources of information claim that binding is unsafe and physically hurts, as absolute medical fact. most likely, they haven’t seen ANY information refuting this. at all.

so step one is deciding you need to bind badly enough that you will endure physical pain and potential medical complications

and then you buy a binder that’s most likely shit quality, made from materials meant to compress, barely one step above ace bandages. there are tons of these “binders” out there, sold for very cheap by scammy companies

and remember, you think is is Absolute Medical Fact that this is just how it is. so you’re probably not doing much searching for “better” materials or a “better” company because there is no better. you have absolutely NO conception whatsoever that it could be better

then, even if you do get a quality binder made with good materials, binder sizes are genuinely out of touch with actual reality. I weighed maybe 115 lbs and the binder that fit me comfortably was a size LARGE. I had never in my life been anything less than a small. I started by ordering a medium because I have just-barely-C cups and knew I would start putting on weight with the testosterone and–

I could barely get it on. it was SO tight. any other piece of clothing in the entire universe and I would have immediately recognized “oh hey this isn’t my size”

except binding is unsafe and physically hurts

so even with a quality binder from a good company, because I accidentally ordered a size too small, I still almost ended up binding in a way that was unsafe and physically hurts because that’s what I expected! it was working AS INTENDED!!

it was working as intended

for anyone still reading along, that is the POINT of a lot of information out there about binding. for the same reason conservatives tell you if you’re gay, you’ll die of AIDs, then point to the statistics of all the people who died of AIDs, and fight so so SO hard to make sure there’s no proper sex education to tell you about condoms or PrEP (taken to prevent getting HIV) or treatment afterwards or how your viral load can be suppressed or that it actually can be managed now and isn’t a quick death sentence

I ordered one size up (the large size), and that gave me a binder that fit like a tank top. It has a stiff cotton panel in the front that is just tight enough to press down on my chest, but mostly it just redistributes how the fat sits to make a more even, flat across shape. you can see in the first pictures how the front panel forms almost like a cone, that may not be completely FLAT (it still pushes out a little) but there aren’t any curves or noticeable “breast shape”

my binder doesn’t leave red marks or dig into my skin. the shoulder straps are wide and, again, distribute the weight more evenly than a lot of bra straps I’ve worn before, which did dig in and leave red marks. I think a lot of people also approach binding from a background of wearing ill-fitting bras, bc no one really teaches us about or helps us size those either, so we’re already used to “chest undergarment that hurts me”

the binder I have is safe to exercise and swim in while wearing, it pulls on and off over my head like a tank top, and I can take full and deep breaths while wearing it. I have never been short of breath or struggled to breath from wearing it

binding does not have to be unsafe and should NOT physically hurt. if it does: the materials are wrong (compression) or the size is simply too small

[blatantescapism]

Let’s talk some more about sizing.

The standard advice re: measuring for a mass-produced binder is to measure your circumference just under your armpits, then just below your bust, and use the largest.

The problem is, that region of your ribcage is very sturdy, but the lower part of your ribcage is much more flexible and vulnerable.

It is very important for your long-term health to avoid compressing those lower ribs.

Poke yourself with your fingers to find the place where your sternum/breastbone ends. Measure two or three finger-widths down from there, to find the point where your ribs move the most while breathing. Take in a very deep, full breath, and hold it while you measure your circumference at this point.

Your binder or corset needs to accommodate this measurement.

[jantesika]

this is the opposite of helpful for me, since I’m going the other way, but someone who needs to know it might see it. so to anyone binding: stay safe.

[elihoneybee]

hey everyone this guy made a video about making a corset style binder. watch it

and please someone improve on this design with your own knowledge i need these binders in my life

[fatal-blow]

getting progressively more annoyed about how addiction is treated and talked about

[fatal-blow]

addiction, at its core, is medication

if you have an addiction and you dont want to have an addiction, you have to accept first the hole that the addiction is filling. or, rather, the symptoms that addiction is medicating.

WHY are chores easier when you smoke that joint? Does it calm your brain, let you organize your thoughts? Are you in pain, or at the very least experiencing discomfort, that marijuana alleviates?

That fix of nicotine, your vape or those cigarettes, what do those do for you? Do they wake you up a bit? Give you a dash of energy you deeply need?

Same with coffee, whats going on that the only way you can function is with your cup of coffee in the morning? Are you sleep deprived? If so, do you know what is affecting your sleep? Are you unable to get comfy? Cant turn your brain off?

Or alcohol, what does it do for you? Does it dampen your racing mind? Relax you, make you feel more comfortable?

Addiction is not a life ruiner. By the time you turn to substances, you are missing something, your health is failing in some way, and this is the thing that helps. These things are often the raft keeping you afloat. Thats why you do it, even if its gross, or harmful, or pushes people away.

Have you ever heard that people who quit coffee continue to feel chronically tired? The assumption is that coffee ruins your ability to be awake, but isnt it more likely that you lacked that wakefulness to begin with? Thats the reason you started drinking it, isnt it? of course youll be tired when you quit--that was your medication.

And I wont deny that certain substances can harm you, and this should factor into your cost-benefit analysis, but I cant help but think about how all these studies about smokers and non-smokers dont acknowledge that the smokers health was probably already failing to begin with. Like, thats the reason they started smoking. So when these studies discover that smokers are not as healthy as non-smokers, I cant help but be like no shit, because they werent healthy before they started. And considering some doctors use addiction as an excuse not to treat people, what other options do they have?