#extradirty
Stranger Things
almost home
Cosmic Funnies
titsay
hello vonnie
cherry valley forever
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KIROKAZE
sheepfilms
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
occasionally subtle
Love Begins
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
roma★
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Andulka
Kiana Khansmith
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Sade Olutola
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Denmark
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from T1
seen from France
seen from Canada
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seen from Bangladesh
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@instantlymagnificentcollective
Sniffing the spiked bracelets someone gave me to tell if they're real leather with a coating or just plastic all the way through like a truffle hog for faggotry
Easy way to tell if something is real leather or not:
If you sniff it and it's plasticky then it's plastic
If you sniff it and it makes your dick hard it's leather
Happy pride
bad at drinking milk
second only to the kitty that did it worse than anyone's ever done it before
Milk drinking political compass
Boy I sure am glad I don't know what that means!
the old-timers I played with back in Iowa used to say “it’s good enough for folk music” when we got tired of tuning and now it’s entered my vocabulary as an all-purpose useful phrase for beating back perfectionism.
sure, i could make this closer to perfect if i put in more time and effort and there might be circumstances under which that’s a good idea, but for now i’ll get more joy and use out of it if i just accept the kind of wonky version and keep going.
Some variants of this I’ve heard, if folk music isn’t your jam:
Good Enough For Shakespeare (used to justify odd word choices, cliche’d plot devices, and putting Dick Jokes in the middle of serious work)
Good Enough For Government Work (Used when you can’t finagle the math so you round up and get on with your life)
Good Enough For Saint Anthony (used by my Catholic Grandmother, usually when something went wrong in the kitchen)
Good Enough For The Lutherans (Used by catholic great-aunt, usually when we were running late for something)
Good Enough For Fish And Biscuits (Great-Uncle Francis said this all the tie and I have no idea what it means but the man was an overwhelming sucess at life so I guess it works)
“It’s Good Enough for Folk Music” is a interesting counterpart to that familiar saying I know: “Folk Music: It’s not as bad as it sounds”
“If you can’t see it from a galloping horse, it’s not a mistake” (from my best friend’s mom’s quilting guild)
“The audience is THIRTY. FEET. AWAY.” (from me, in the theater costume shop during college, trying to costume Little Women and then Twelfth Night entirely from scratch)
stop everything, this is bitty doing research for his thesis
there’s more lmao, unhinged bitty energy
I showed this tiktok to my grandma to make her laugh, but now she’s all excited and actually wants to make a chocolate potato cake. We’re gonna do it.
I’ll keep everyone posted.
It’s happening, folks!
Looks good, but we’re not done yet!
Our sweet, sweet child needs to cool before we add the finishing touches!
My creation is complete!
After dinner, we’ll give it a taste test!
I wonder how it’ll taste.
Oh…
My…
God.
It’s incredible!
This stupid cake, made with potatoes … is delicious! It’s so sweet, moist, and decadent, just like a brownie! And I don’t even like chocolate or potatoes!
The recipe from the tiktok was pretty much impossible to find. I looked high and low, but everyone posted recipes that I KNOW he didn’t use because the ingredients and methods were different. After some searching, my grandma and I came up with our own recipe.
For the Cake:
1 cup mashed potato
2 cups sour cream
1 ¾ cup flour
1 ¾ cup sugar
¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
½ cup softened butter
2 eggs
1 ½ tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
Pinch of salt
For the Drizzle:
4 oz semi-sweet chocolate
½ cup sugar
3 tbsp corn syrup
2 tbsp water
A lot of recipes called for a mixer or a processor, but my grandma and I wanted to make an every-man kind of recipe, since we know not everyone has those things. Plus they’re heavy and a pain to clean anyway, so bowls it is!
Instructions:
1. Peel and boil the potato, then mash it. Set aside to cool. Go to the bathroom, do your homework, then come back. That should be enough time.
2. Set oven to 350°F.
3. Cream butter. This means putting the sugar and butter into a bowl and mashing it together with a fork until it’s thoroughly mixed.
3. Put everything else in the same bowl, including the mashed potato. Mix and stir well. Work those muscles!
4. Grease a pan (doesn’t matter what kind you use) and spatula batter into pan. Even out if necessary.
5. Bake in oven for 40 minutes.
6. Test cake with pick. If nothing sticks, it’s finished. If batter does stick to pick, let it bake a bit longer but make sure it doesn’t burn. Remove and set aside to cool.
For the Drizzle:
1. Cut chocolate into tiny squares.
2. In a small pot, mix sugar, corn syrup, and water.
3. On medium heat, wait for mixture to sizzle and stir it. Do NOT let it boil.
4. Remove from element and add chocolate.
5. Wait for squares to melt, then mix.
6. Drizzle or pour over cake.
Enjoy!
I’m so glad there’s a recipe now, I really want to try this!
Hey here is a thing that happened. We went for a simple ganache for the glaze. Heated 1 cup of cream till hot then poured over 1 cup of semisweet and 1 cup of milk chocolate chips. Whisk untill melted and pour over your chocolate mash potato cake
Found the original recipe! (Apparently it was listed as a caramel potato cake in the original recipe book??? Anyway, now there’s two CPC recipes!)
Chocolate Potato Cake
½ cup butter 1 cup sugar 2 eggs ½ cup milk ½ cup hot riced potatoes [just pure potato, mashed, no milk or butter or pepper or salt or whatever, just pure mashed potato] 1 cup flour 2 tsp baking powder ½ tsp cinnamon ½ tsp clove ½ tsp nutmeg ½ cup grated chocolate ½ cup chopped nut meats [optional, never ever feel pressured to add nuts to your chocolate cake, our guy here didn’t!]
Just… put everything into the mixing bowl in that order, with lots of mixing in between each addition.
Into a greased and/or lined tin, and then into a moderate oven for 55 minutes (or until cooked).
Frosting
2 Tbs butter 1 cup sugar ¼ cup milk 1 square unsweetened chocolate ½ tsp vanilla [also optional, since again, not mentioned by our maker here!]
Boil, but be careful it doesn’t burn. …Basically? Stir constantly! (also, apparently the vanilla only gets added after the mix is taken off the heat…)
He did a long-form! He explained the steps!
if chickens were big enough to eat us do you think they would
without question
Without remorse.
Without hesitation
unrestrained summer fun
other scorpions have really badass tail stingers and claws, but the lesser known tailless whip scorpion has an even better defense mechanism:
just grab shit
I used to make jokes at work during meetings, and I could really get people laughing. Then COVID hit, and all our meetings were online. I’d still make jokes, but no one would laugh…
Not one. At first, I thought it was just because everyone was muted. It turns out, they didn’t find me remotely funny.
*inhales* Jeff.
THAT. WAS. TERRIBLE.
Y'ever think about what absolute mad decadence we live in that "vanilla" means "plain"
Anytime someone says 'it's just vanilla ice cream' I have to restrain myself from saying, "ah yes, the flavor produced by the seeds of a tropical orchid, a flower which blossoms for a single day before dying, the second most expense spice in the world. Just that."
Historically, the spices I have in my cabinet are an embarrassment of riches. I have there a large container of whole black peppercorns which I grate fresh over my food. Multiple containers of cinnamon because I forgot I already had some. Ginger, cardamom, red pepper flakes, whole cloves and ground, nutmeg and turmeric. Kings and emperors have not eaten food so well spiced.
I have vanilla ice cream in my freezer (cold! frozen! when the rich would pay fortunes to send for ice from mountains to chill fruit in the summers). I am going to put on my silk robe, fix myself a bowl, and feast.
Teachers have tried this and are amazed when their classes don’t go feral like in the book. It’s almost as if the book was supposed to be satire and not a treaty on the nature of humanity.
there’s a timeskip
THERE’S A TIMESKIP
THERE’S A TIMESKIP
THERE’S A TIMESKIP
after losing control of the signal fire there’s a FUCKING TIMESKIP and when the next chapter starts everyone’s hair is several inches longer and their clothes have rotted to shreds and they’re still just kind of chilling!!!!
IT TAKES THE TERRIBLE IMPERIALISM MIND-POISONED EXCESSIVELY BRITISH BOYS IN THE ACTUAL BOOK SEVERAL MONTHS TO COMMIT A SINGLE ACT OF INTENTIONAL VIOLENCE, EVEN THE ONE (1) CHILD WRITTEN AS AN ACTUAL SOCIOPATH
AND then when they DO turn on each other it is because
THERE’S AN UNSPECIFIED WORLD WAR HAPPENING
AND A PILOT’S CORPSE CRASH LANDS ON THE ISLAND POST-DOGFIGHT AND THE CHILDREN MISTAKE THE PARACHUTE FOR A MONSTER AND SPIRAL INTO PARANOIA
BECAUSE CHILDREN INHERIT THE LEGACY AND TRAUMA OF VIOLENCE FROM THE ADULTS WAGING WAR AROUND THEM
HURR DURR IN THE REAL WORLD IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LIKE IN LORD OF THE FLIES -
IT DIDN’T HAPPEN THAT WAY IN LORD OF THE FLIES EITHER YOU JUST HAVEN’T READ IT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL IF EVER AND DON’T REMEMBER WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE GODDAMN BOOK
#tbf the dude wrote it to be a dick
yes. yes he did. i’m also gonna direct you to the real life ‘lord of the flies’ which occured in the 1960s, when six tongan schoolboys got stranded on a desert island for over a year before being rescued by an australian fisherman (who, it should be noted, later took on all six as crewmembers because the reason they were out in the first place was because they wanted to see the world, and named his ship the Ata after the island they were stranded on). nobody died. the only injuries that occurred were accidental, and when one of the boys broke his leg falling down a cliff, the others braced it and looked after him so well that it healed perfectly. if they argued, then they would literally go to opposite sides of the island until they’d cooled off. after leaving the island, they remained friends for the rest of their lives. here’s a photo of them as adults, with their rescuer (who is third from the left) and other members of his crew.
i read about this in rutger bregman’s human kind, a book i cannot recommend highly enough, but if you don’t want to go and read a whole book about the inherent goodness of humanity (which again, you really should) then the relevant excerpt can be found here.
stop saying "sorry for party rocking", instead try "thank you for your allowing me to party rock" or "I appreciate you being patient with me as I party rock, in the house tonight"
One thing I worry about in society is how autistic people seem to be more at risk for getting in trouble for things they didn’t even do all because of not understanding the situation in the first place
For example: I remember one time I was shopping at a supermarket, and after paying, a staff member walked up to me, and without explaining why, asked me if they could look inside my bag. I was only aware they suspected me of shoplifting (which I hadn’t) because of a previous post I’d read about another autistic in a similar situation. Imagine if an autistic person, unaware of the hidden context, declined to let them look inside the bag. They’d already be deemed as suspicious when in reality, they just didn’t want someone to look inside
Another time I was about to go to a university party organised by the university itself. I was carrying an empty Coca-Cola bottle ONLY because I was drinking one beforehand, and couldn’t find a bin. Without warning, a staff member grabbed my empty bottle and took it away. At first I thought they were just being helpful until I saw the stern look on their face, and then I was confused (only later did I realise they might have thought I would refill it with alcohol later on or something). When I was unable to get in due to not having enough money, I had a shutdown due to the noise and confusion, and was then screamed at to get out despite the fact I did nothing wrong
This is the kind of thing autistic people have to deal with. Society has to learn to understand that just because a person isn’t reacting the way you expect, and seems “suspicious”, doesn’t mean they are. There’s a high chance they’re an autistic person who may not be fully understanding of the situation at hand, especially when the other person isn’t explicit about what’s going on
as a black autistic person this type of shit is so fucking dangerous and common for me
im already “suspicious” for being black and my autism makes other ppl see me as a direct threat
ive had white and non black allistic people threaten to call the cops on me for stimming inside stores, push me out of places bc “looking like i was casing the place” (no i just wear sunglasses constantly bc light is too much), ive been in situations where i had to pinch myself n make my inner palm bleed to make sure i wasnt being nonverbal to a cop that could just kill me for not responding 110% calm and nice or stimming bc “sudden movement” is dangerous coming from a black body, ive had other white autistics call me weird and suspicious for doing the same things they do bc they inherently see my blackness as something to watch out for
a lot of what “suspicious” is about is based on racist and ableist and as someone whos always gonna be getting the brunt of suspicion in society bc my blackness affects every aspect of how im treated, i think its important to bring up that white autistics are often going to be given the benifit of the doubt, offered empathy and shown more respect when dealing with the situation of doing something “wrong” in the eyes of allistic people
for a white autistic, not understanding/processing a situation makes you suspicious
but for black autistic people were always assumed a threat to the safety of others so things escalate pass suspicion very quickly
a cop may see a white or lightskinned autistic person having a meltdown in public and see the autism and still might harass u about it (bc acab) but they will bring more empathy to you durring that time
a cop might see me a black person having a meltdown in public and try to arrest me,might shoot at me bc they feel “threatened” might use excessive force bc i look “aggressive” or they have no patience for being nonverbal, might harass me bc i “look out of place”
this isnt just cops tho, its the whole damn world, ableism and antiblackness together is so terrifying and it kills
I know I already reblogged this, but I ended up remembering how my brother and I both have the same problem of hallucinations (mine are from some meds I used to take while he is schizophrenic) and how differently people react to us both
I am a small, quite pale female, and when I have an episode, I can get violent! When I had one in the grocery store, I bit a store clerk (I’m sorry) and tried to escape because of my hallucination. I was brought to the psych ward , knocked out and strapped to a bed.
My brother, a TALL (over six foot), darker skinned male, who is NOT violent, just kind of silently cries and moans was arrested. When my other brothers, all tall and darker skinned, tried to intervene, they were also arrested (doesn’t help we all have thick accents, so a dark skinned, big, funny talking male is like triple threats to many people) I had to de-escalate the problem, and take all of my brothers home! They listened to the thirteen year old white girl over my 27 year old, doctor brother!
therapist: how was your week?
me: mm.. i can’t remember
therapist: what are you thinking right know?
me: mm.. i don’t know
Me, whenever I see businesses complaining about “lazy workers” because they won’t work low paying minimum wage jobs:
John Mulaney, a man who is iconically known for loving his wife, after being told by Jerry Seinfeld that his wife only thinks shes good at something
Well done OP, you’ve managed to capture the moment John’s spirit left his body
Jerry’s lucky that John is too polite to throw hands
Okay but I just went and watched this for myself and it’s WORSE
He’s. So uncomfortable. It’s obvious. I cut out the part where John kind of muttered, “That is true, isn’t it” about how all men think they’re funny, but his face is just screwed up in this ‘oh god what have i done what have i signed up for this is not good and this will probably go into my next comedy special of awkwardness’
Just watched this omg bless john bc jerry just keeps trying to do some “take my wife” bullshit and john very politely goes no, no.
proud of John for restraining himself from murdering a man on camera
What’s so horrifying about this to me is that this is literally Jerry Seinfeld trying to teach John Mulaney how to gaslight his wife.
Look at that dialogue. “She thinks she knows.” He’s trying to get Mulaney to see his wife’s expertise as instead a weird misperception. He’s coaching him to undercut his wife’s confidence in the truth and her own abilities.
And Mulaney replies exactly the right way: “She does know.” He asserts not only that she’s perceiving the world accurately, but that she is an expert at something he’s not good at.
Dudes, don’t take this shit from other dudes. Mulaney isn’t by any means perfect but he aced this. Stand for the truth. Defend women’s objectivity. Promote women’s expertise.
Doesnt his wife also work with antiques too?like. Isnt that part of her actual job?
I reblog this every time because I don’t think people understand that Anna is literally an interior designer. She makes absolutely stunning Victorian Lampshades. Which she designs.. for the interior of a home… she’s literally an interior designer. She doesn’t think she’s good at it, she knows she’s good at it because it’s her fucking job
so many ppl on tiktok will be like 'look at my epic style glow up omg my style used to be so cringe' and it just shows them wearing clothes that were in fashion in 2015 and then clothes that are in fashion now like baby that's what happens when u don't have ur own sense of style
got called “omg vintage” by a secretary in training at the dentist’s office on sunday because i wore a shirt that was in style five years ago like. ma’am i bought that in 2016
this is WILD you can't just leave this in the tags lmaoo
(cw: adult story below)
okay so basically the story went that he has. a fetish for guys with tats and piercings and this culminated in him getting real teeth KNOCKED OUT during a glory hole incident in 98 or 99 he can’t remember but basically the guy thrust in as he was catching his breath. and. teeth got knocked out. he was THAT HARD.
so he gets dental implants and continues on his way, assured that he’ll never have to lose any more teeth. he used to bartend blah blah and was always complimented on his teeth but he eventually got them SNAPPED OUT during an altercation with a drunk guy and he got different ones put in and was like “oh, so this is a recurring theme in my life” and decided that he was going to swear off bartending.
so he moved out this way and started his “dick-sucking career” anew, hopeful, wide-eyed. and managed to get a piercing snagged on his fucking tonsil and they have to GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM TOGETHER BECAUSE THE GUY IS STUCK IN HIS FUCKING THROAT AND HE CAN ONLY BREATHE IF HE BREATHES AROUND THE DICK. it was at this moment i remembered that one fucking movie where a guy gets his prince albert piercing stuck in a lady as a killer is busting into the room and dies because he won’t cut it off and run or something
also as this is happening i’m waiting on x-ray results so i’m just. there lmao
and he was talking about how the guy NUTTED. IN THE AMBULANCE. BECAUSE OF THE VIBRATION OF THE ROAD. IN HIS THROAT. AND THEY HAD TO SUCTION IT OUT. WHAT THE FUCK. but it turns out that there was a bad cut to his gums as well because it was a spiked fucking piercing so he just. had to get a couple teeth replaced. again.
and they dated. for 2 more years. until he moved to serbia or something i forget that part i was laughing to hard. it might have been spain. idk anyways
the bf got stopped by airport security because this was a few years after 9/11 and he had to take half his piercings which were not “safe metals” for metal detectors (“because DIY punks are hotter” was his reason??) and he was like “do i take the dick one out too” (no, but he did get taken to be privately searched.) and it ended up, that his boyfriend (the guy in the dental office) laughed so hard, after hearing this story repeated, that he slipped and smacked face first into the edge of a table. and LOST HIS TEETH AGAIN, and ended up walking around “like a fucking christmas carol about wanting two front teeth” until his bf sent him money to get them fixed and then broke up with him “for some hot young thing”
so he gets new ones! and they lasted! they really did! for years!
and then, #4, was on sunday. he was so “inspired” after he was allowed to go on dates again. because quarantine and no-socialising rules and shit have hit hard here multiple times. that he “went too hard” at a small gay bdsm gathering. and he managed to both bend his teeth inwards and fuck his molars up FROM DICK SUCKING. and he was like “i was tied up there, thinking about how many times this has happened. and how some evil gay witch put a curse on me for being too good at sucking dick.”
and he went on about how the kink club in question is technically helping to pay for this because they felt SO BAD and the guy who did this laughed his ass off and was like. i don’t have any money but once you get your teeth fixed - and the guy was like NO. I AM NOT SUCKING YOU OFF EVER AGAIN LOOK WHAT YOU DID
also this was told by the most middle-aged, boring looking man on earth. like picture an accountant, but gay and VERY clumsy and funny
*looks at the start of the post*
*looks at the end*
What happened here?
