I will never shy away from the word goon. goon is the only way to describe a particular type of henchman, lackey, or thug. look at these guys. they're goons.
EXPECTATIONS
KIROKAZE
todays bird
Mike Driver
Not today Justin
tumblr dot com
🪼

Love Begins
Game of Thrones Daily
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occasionally subtle
RMH
The Stonewall Inn

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

izzy's playlists!
Keni

titsay
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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@irresponsible-ace
I will never shy away from the word goon. goon is the only way to describe a particular type of henchman, lackey, or thug. look at these guys. they're goons.
✴︎ BETRAYED STRAYS ✴︎
Young people don’t know when I joined this website a decade and a half ago we used to have to walk to the post button and back and it was uphill both ways
Everyone in the notes being like oh yeah the reblog button used to be at the top of the post and you had to scroll back to the top I forgot about that I was just shit posting 😭 how could I forget after my first reblog of Colors of the sky
and of course remember
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Me, before I saw this: old timey dancing in cartoons has to be over-exaggerated for effect
Me, now: old timey dancing in cartoons had to be toned down to promote a sense of realism because they were too good at it
ok mouse.
Unmute
I've posted this before, but every time I've seen it since I can't stop watching it repeat over and over. Like the man says, "Unmute"
Mutuals do this.
this guy is so unbelievably good at making music videos of himself dancing with himself in different outfits
I can't stop I fear
ok I know everyone’s considered Ryland grace wearing an “I put the ace in space” t shirt but. have we considered the infinitely funnier option of putting this shirt on eva stratt
I had to draw this
Me stepping out of the optometry office after slamming four lokos with the doctor and immediately meeting the love of my life (but I have social anxiety)
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic
Oh my goodness you're my hero this is so beautiful
Holy fuck my job got fan art
the emotion i just experienced is kind of indescribable
the funniest part of this post to me is that the reblog:like ratio is nearly 1:1. nobody’s just liking everyone who sees this video goes yeah i gotta inflict it on as many people as possible
Haha looks like that relationship didn’t work out… didn’t work out et al.
@ralfmaximus Showers that will kill you
Holy shit I thought this was a Sims bit or someone playing with CAD software, but the last few seconds knocked me out
@thebibliosphere I'm pretty sure you are the appropriate recipient for other people's terrifying home renovation choices
we don't hate J.J. Abrams enough
Branson Reese, whoever you are, I keep your words in my heart all the time.
"branson reese, whoever you are" put some respect on the smooth sharks one fear man's name
Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell