OP spongecake_cats on TikTok ♡
KIROKAZE
Keni

bliss lane

Origami Around
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
almost home

PR's Tumblrdome
noise dept.
Sade Olutola

#extradirty

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@theartofmadeline
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Show & Tell

oozey mess
todays bird
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
One Nice Bug Per Day
Not today Justin
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@itsscarab
OP spongecake_cats on TikTok ♡
Spyro Sparkle ✨
MLP x Spyro crossover🔥 I stumbled across this artist's artwork one day and couldn't resist; it was too cute to ignore😣
on survival
-// @aridante // @orivu // @buzzkillgirls // ? // ? // richard siken// @cemeterything // moomin, tove jansson// @disenchanted-killjoy // isn't that enough, shawn mendes// @ prettytheyswag on twitter// @ coletyumuch on twitter// ? // ? // bird by bird, anne lamott// undertale// @strawberrycircuits
The Amnesty International report that JK Rowling is trying to censor through legal threats.
It can also be found on Google Drive here and on Bluesky here.
Please save and share this info where possible. This report has since been removed by Amnesty International due to legal threats of libel from JK Rowling. This information is no longer easily accessible.
Happy Pride Month to those two women dancing together in the foreground of the boat scene in Godzilla (1954).
I’m sorry your romantic foibles were overshadowed by a big ass atomic lizard thing.
out of the tags with you
I mean that's basically the plot of Godzillas Minus One but with as lesbian relationship found family insteas of Kamikaze trauma found family, and THAT worked really well, so frankly, I think the world is long past overdue for this.
Unfortunate circumstances regarding my car. Long story short, I will need to replace it, but I can't cover it on my own.
I will set up something soon to give back to everybody who has supported me.
Thank you.
Support LiddiMothie
please go help liddi out, she’s been genuinely amazing and could do with your support towards her new car <3
funny thing about anxiety is sometimes it kind of breaks your sense of danger. like i am known for repeatedly putting myself in situations that make my friends go "bro you couldve died. werent you scared?" and the answer is 👍 yjeah. i did it scared. i do everything scared. i didnt know that was the actual important kind of scary because i usually have to ignore my fears to function in society. it will happen again. watch out.
So yeah, Kevin was likely the last kid to see their teacher alive and I bet he remembers that their only exchange was a bored "I'm not" while probably rolling his eyes (because teenager) at being told not to run at school okay okay
Pottery sounds terrifying to me. Every post I see is like "Here's this awesome art I made!! Pray for me that it survives The Kiln™ :')" I don't think I could cope with making art that could quite easily blow up and I have no way of controlling that. You guys are true heroes.
@bazanite you are so correct
Due to my weird childhood and my weird brain, I have this very unhelpful compulsion to conceal Everything I do from Everyone. I Cannot be observed performing any action, no matter how mundane. My nervous system is convinced I'm gonna, like, Get In Trouble for eating food at dinnertime or sleeping in my bed at bedtime.
I've taken to asking myself, "Okay does this task actually require subterfuge or am I stealing a balloon on Free Balloon Day"
I see from the notes that we're all havin a normal one 👍
I feel like in the rush of “throw out etiquette who cares what fork you use or who gets introduced first” we actually lost a lot of social scripts that the younger generations are floundering without.
A lot of tough situations where we now feel like we “don’t know what to do or say” had social scripts just a couple of generations ago and they might have been canned phrases or robotic actions but they could still be meant sincerely and unfortunately we haven’t replaced them with any more sincere or easier new script.
a lot of people are giving examples in the notes of things they just find annoying like not using headphones in public, but OP is talking about actual literal scripts of things to say in awkward situations
if you have a date or two with someone and you don't see a relationship developing? most millennials / gen Zers just end up ghosting. but a social script that might have been taught and rehearsed in the past could be:
"I really appreciated getting dinner with you the other night and I enjoyed your company, but I'm afraid I didn't feel a spark. I wish you the best, and hope you find that special someone!"
like it sounds kind of trite but it was at least something to say and it can still be meant with kind sincerity. it also communicates in 2 sentences that you don't want to see them romantically again, but there aren't any hard feelings about that. that's it!!! that's all it takes!!!
Another example is that at parties a lot of people talk about how awkward it is to mingle or talk to people they dont know. But at old timey parties that was traditionally the HOST'S job, and there was a specific scripted way of doing it that eased the process! The host would bring you in, introduce you and maybe even a little bit about you like what you did for a living, and then guide you to a group you could talk to. They didn't just let you in the door and then ditch you to fend for yourself in a sea of strangers. That would be unthinkable and no one would be surprised if a get-together like that wound up being awkward.
I still do the party-host thing and yall can, too! (Thanks Mad Men for teaching me a lot of outmoded social scripts... no really tho)
Remember things about your friends! Ask people about their weekends, hobbies, holidays, studies, and jobs! Listen for the concerns people have and what they are working on! Draw connections between one person and another to get the ball rolling. "Oh, Maura, you just got your first cat! You should talk to Felix, he used to work at a rescue. Felix, please tell Maura all the new-cat-guardian pointers."
"Bill, Sheila, Xan, this is my friend Kale. Kale is really into Star Trek, Bill you and them should talk about it!"
Orrr whatever! After you make the introduction and draw the connection you just float on into the next interaction with someone else at the function. Just listen, care about your friends, get our of your own head, and think of how you can bring other people together and you will feel 100% less awkward.
hi i am so excited about this post because i have posted this exact thing MANY times on here, often in the specific context of how formal etiquette is so useful for autistic people especially, but also for everyone. even if you come off a little bit formal, which you will sometimes, having Old School Manners (or just knowing what they are) for various common scenarios is like having a magic ticket that will just sail you through all kinds of social iinteractions, gatekeeping, social weirdness, and as is pointed out in the above posts about introducing people to each other, can make you into a really valuable and helpful person for an entire gathering or group of people.
i also want to point out that knowing what the polite thing to do in all situations makes you a lot more effective at being rude and obnoxious when the situation calls for it, which is also a valuable and necessary adult skill
#things to write#but also#things to do#I could certainly benefit from a manual...
If you're looking for a manual on these sorts of things; social etiquette, social scripts, how to handle difficult and/or awkward social situations, etc. then I highly recommend picking up any book by Miss Manners. Her books really are the gold standard for learning the types of skills this post is talking about. I should also mention that Miss Manners is witty and hilarious so her books are also fun to read.
The best book by Miss Manners to get started with would be Miss Manner's Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. This one is probably the best starting point because it gives the best overview of all the basics.
If you're the type who likes to listen to podcasts, I recommend checking out "Were You Raised By Wolves?" and/or "Awesome Etiquette". Both are also great tools for learning the type of social skills this post is talking about. I'm personally a fan of "Were You Raised By Wolves?" because not only are they pretty funny and informative, they also bother to try to teach the underlying social intelligence behind various manners and social etiquette so that you can have the skills to solve social dilemmas on your own. However, "Awesome Etiquette" is also pretty fun and informative.
#long post#I feel like 'i dont do small talk nobody cares about the weather' had a negative impact on social interaction#I mean yeah sometimes small talk about nothing gets awkward. but often it leads to the most interesting conversations#just asking 'what kind of music do you listen to at the gym' or 'have you read any books lately' could be such a lovely subject#I'm sometimes socially awkward despite being a huge extrovert. that's why etiquette is such a great thing#if you don't know how to act around people just stick to the etiquette rules. if they have a problem with it they're not for me anyways
Sorry @darlingdear but I couldn't let this stay in the tags.
I say this as someone who is neurodivergent had grew up very socially awkward, but recently I find the "screw small talk, I wanna get to know the REAL you" attitude to be pretentious as well as a demonstration of a lack of boundaries.
But also, I think a lot of people who have this attitude don't actually really know what does qualify as small talk. The definition of small talk is any topic that's of no real consequence and includes topics like food, pets, sports, music, whatever show you're currently streaming, whatever book you're currently reading, and yes, the weather. A lot of people who have this "I hate small talk / I don't do small talk" attitude probably think it's only reciting a bunch of secret scripts about the weather, and don't realize how much they engage in small talk whenever they talk about their pets or their favorite foods or the really cool show they're watching right now.
Small talk is just about boundaries and getting to know someone *before* you move into more serious and personal topics. The older I get the more I learn you really can't just trust anyone with more serious and personal subjects. Small talk first is important to gauge if they're someone safe and trustworthy first before moving into more serious and personal subjects. If you really genuinely refuse to get to know someone before immediately discussing serious and personal subjects you may have an issue with boundaries and should consider working on that.
Oh my god, so much the last point. All of them, but especially the last.
Small talk is a way of sounding out a person’s attitudes. It’s about finding out if they’re a rabid asshole or someone you want to spend more time with.
I had a professor who got angry at a group of (mostly women), from five countries, all of whom met yesterday, for talking about daytime TV. He basically insulted us and called us shallow.
Dude, we were figuring each other out with a safe topic! We were the best of friends three weeks later. We could broach harder topics because we understood each other’s boundaries better. If you immediately demand people bare their souls, you’re not likely to get them to be honest.
also it's always polite / a good idea to balance the conversation out between yourself and the other person. By which I mean, if they've asked you several questions, turn it around: "and what about you?" / "what has your experience been in [topic]?" I used to be too awkward to do it but noticed conversations would bleed to death. Then I overcompensated and only asked the other person question upon question. This was also Not Ideal because guys would end up thinking I was super interested in them and get confused when I shut off my interest / social battery later on. So, balance: I try to talk about 50% of the time and share something that is either useful or relatable to the other or important to me. And by being interested and asking real questions you can get to know someone better and they will also know you a little, which can be really lovely.
There's a common myth spread through UK politics right now that "gender critical" (ie. transphobia) is a protected belief under our Equality Act 2010 and, therefore, must be appropriately coddled and supported systemically.
Except that's completely wrong.
The myth stems from Forstater v CGD Europe and Others in 2022. Forstater (extremely notorious and influential transphobe currently working in the upper ranks of hate group Sex Matters) alleged that she was discriminated against during an employment tribunal because she believes trans women aren't women. The Equality and Human Rights Commission (the national human rights institution of the UK) stepped in to state that its interpretation of the EA2010's protected characteristic of religion or belief included that "gender critical" belief.
This then naturally got picked up by the anti-trans contingent as a clarion call that they were welcome and noble and right and their feelings mattered.
...but that's completely contradictory to what the EHRC itself said just 2 years earlier. And reaffirmed a year later in 2023.
Above is a fragment from the dossier of information that the EHRC, under now-Baroness and known anti-trans stooge Kishwer Falkner, published regarding the definitions of "religion or belief". It even directly cites racism as an example of an unprotected belief that infringes on the rights of others, of which modern transphobic rhetoric is functionally a palette swap (yes there's a reason for that).
Specifically, in order for a belief to be considered part of the protected characteristic, it needs to meet a few conditions. It must:
be genuinely held and more than an opinion
cogent and serious
apply to an important aspect of human life or behaviour
worthy of respect in a democratic society
not affect other people's fundamental rights
There's a few other details on that list that could be dubiously squabbled over but that last one is absolutely key because whilst you're allowed to hold asshole ideas about people, you are not allowed to be an asshole to people. Once you use it to justify ejecting people from restrooms and changing areas, or to deny them healthcare, it fails to leave other people well enough alone. Once you start campaigning, lobbying, and what-not it is no longer just a private belief, it is a political objective to strip others of their rights.
Which is exactly where we find ourselves today. In an effort to placate and support naked bigotry, we've had to renege on protecting a minority group that we are also legally obligated to protect.
Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.
Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.
thinking about Data & Deanna Troi, who may look like polar opposites on the surface (one feels everything, the other feels nothing), but they both recognize in the other the experience of being unique and surrounded by people who feel regular emotions. yes i say unique for Deanna too because she does not experience telepathy like her fully Betazoid peers either, she's the only human-betazoid she knows, just like Data doesn't know anyone with a brain built like his, not even Lore. and the way Deanna and Data try to understand each other is different from the way their human crewmates try to understand either one of them. the care and respect with which they both approach the other's perception of the world is what makes their friendship so special to me.
two outsiders on a starship <3
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"Yeah, this world is new and strange And there's nothing I would change."