Why Am I Like This

She/her | 29yo | Reblogging whatever consumes me at the time | Currently: Steddie with a side of Stobin and henderfam - 911 firefam emphasis on Buddie and Henren - Sterek - Destiel when the mood strikes

[i-know-the-enddc]

what I fucking love is how tvl was written in the 80s and lestat is constantly sayinf shit like “as the kids say 🤪 that’s so rad!!” or whatever, and to me, reader of the vampire lestat in this modern age, that does NOT register the way anne rice intended it.

like it is supposed to feel jarring and insane. it is supposed to feel like lestat has been violently submerged in modern young people trends and culture and is now repeating all the new words he learned like a beautiful fresh baby. but because the book is from 1985, all I think is oh interesting huh I didn’t know that slang term even originated in the 80s how vintage how retro how lestat wow he’s so embarrassing aw aw so cute.

but amc in all their incredible genius decided that honoring anne rice’s original vision of writing an extremely modern and weird book that fully embodied the era it was written in was more important then bringing back the 80s nostalgia thing that streaming services love and it’s incredible to me. now I get to listen to lestat say shit like “labubu FOMO cosplay reddit discord Gen Z more like gen SNOOZE 🤪🤪🤪 safe space pronouns donald trump labubu tiktok dance 🕺🏻” and suddenly I understand what it felt like to be a young anne rice reader in 1985. God…. I understand.

[wisteria-lodge]

One thing I'm really loving about the perspective shift between Interview with the Vampire and The Vampire Lestat is how Lestat and Louis appear in each other's narratives, through each other's eyes.

Louis sees Lestat as this primal force of nature who looks like a romance novel hero, can effortlessly control any room, is "preternaturally charming," impeccably turned out, no one can say no to him for long.

but we get in LESTAT'S head, and suddenly he has scars and a tangled mane of hair, people are constantly talking over him, he sweats, he's getting beat up and his clothes are getting destroyed in a non-sexy way, he's flailing around wildly with NO idea what he's doing, people (lestat included) think he's untalented and annoying.

And LOUIS, well. Louis clearly sees himself as uncanny, reserved, compelling but a little off-putting. He is other: cut-off from humanity, holding his emotions and relationships at arm's length.

Then we see him in The Vampire Lestat, and it's like no. This is the warmest, cutest, sexiest, coolest, most desirable man who has ever walked the face of the earth.

[goldfish-inhaler]

are people actually shocked that Louis did something selfish & exploitative? those are like two of the core tenants of who he is as a person. he's self righteous and simultaneously self-destructive. he's deeply hypocritical and is constantly in denial. Claudia was right about him over and over and over again, AND HE'S BECOME MY FAVORITE! he's all of those things and somehow still a likeable, sympathetic, and at times relatable character. that's not an easy thing to pull off, but the writing combined with Jacob's performance allow Louis to have so many layers! those layers are what make him, and every other character in the series so interesting! why would you want to get rid of them or pretend they don't exist??

idk man, i'm just baffled that anyone with such stark black & white thinking/need for there to be a "good guy" got through two seasons and three episodes of this show lol

[snlthw]

wellll i did this when i tried to mold him out of clay maybe someone will need it, so i'll just share it here

[colorlessjay-destielblog]

Everyone shut up, new Dean reference just dropepd

[a-random-fandom-friend]

It's pride month so I'll allow myself to express one opinion on the internet :

There are no "exact color" of pride flags.

I see more and more sites and posts talking about the exact hex codes for the lesbian flag, or the right purple for the ace one, and how it should be more or less saturated and I just want to say: pride flags were meant to be sewn in your kitchen. To be spraypainted and to be recognised.

There are no "exact colors" of pride flags because you should do them with what you have ! Nobody should care if you use a crimson red instead of a cherry red or whatever ! Be free ! wave your colors ! The colors you have !

[perlukafarinn]

Six weeks after Cas' death, Dean buys a wedding ring.

It's not a conscious decision. He's been on autopilot since Chuck's defeat, going through the motions of living while feeling completely hollow inside. The last thing Cas did was die so Dean could live, so Dean's gonna pretend until it's true, because he can't let Cas have died for nothing.

The enormity of his grief is overbearing and he can't even put into words everything he's lost. How can he explain what they were to each other when they never spoke it out loud, not until Cas' last, awful speech that didn't even allow Dean time to respond?

The silence is swallowing him up, everything he didn't get to say.

And then Dean sees the ring.

It's a battered thing, shining dully in the glass counter at a pawnbroker's just outside of Topeka. It's one of a pair, and Dean snatches both of them, stuffing one far into his pocket and the other on his left hand.

The weight of it settles something in his chest.

People start treating him differently. Well-meaning strangers will start conversations in friendly, cheerful tones, catch a glimpse of his ring and the flatness of his eyes and put two and two together. Their voices will go soft, their whole demeanor shifting to a gentle carefulness. Like Dean has a terminal illness.

Good, Dean thinks. He doesn't want to be pitied but it brings him some type of satisfaction, knowing that the grief gnawing at him from the inside has become visible.

If his love couldn't be acknowledged while Cas was alive, at least it is now.

And later, when Cas finally returns to him, Dean doesn't say a word. He just reaches into his pocket, pulls out the ring still resting there. It's warm, and Cas' breath catches when Dean takes his hand and slides it onto his finger.

[theposthumouspress]

Widowarc my beloved! I will always come crawling back to you.

[thecoffeelovingcat]

Steve and eddie Munson

[waytoohigh63]

thing that pisses me off most about adhd advice from neurotypicals... the 'doing something for 30 days forms a habit.' bitch nothing in my life is a habit i would be ripping bong and jacking off all day if it was a matter of choice. never underestimate my ability to be super invested in something for like 2 weeks and then forget to do it one day and never go back to it

[rubyvroom]

That's it!! That's it!!

Nothing is a habit! It's all deliberate choices and it's EXHAUSTING

It's like the difference between automatic breathing and conscious breathing. Imagine if automatic breathing didn't work for you and if you didn't decide to breath you would just run out of air. So you have to mentally manage your breathing on top of your normal functioning.

Now make that EVERYTHING. So no I'm not going to brush my teeth without thinking about it or do the exercise program automatically or make my bed or whatever. If I'm not thinking I'm not doing anything! I'm staring at a wall! And at the end of the day I'm almost always at this point where I have no mental spoons left and that means task queue is empty. My brain is tired and I'm powering down! I'm not even "going to bed" with all of the sub-steps that this entails like changing into pajamas and brushing my teeth, I'm just done for the day no more tasks the end.

So that stuff you can do as a habit is just another task on my to-do list requiring mental energy. Even resting is a task with its own requirements! And it leads to the constant feeling that I don't have enough time to do all the things I need to do, even when none of those things take very much time. It's just the task queue is so long! That's too many things! I can't add any more things, I don't have time! And managing the Task Queue is it's own task!

And if I get overloaded I'll dump the whole queue and go into Idle Mode. No thoughts, do nothing. And I'm in Idle Mode pretty frequently in the evenings which makes it look like I'm just lazy, to everyone in the world including me! No organization system can change this.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

I need tiktokers to understand that ao3 has been home for the freaks (affectionate) ever since the day it was created. the entire site was created because “dark and fucked up fics” were banned and removed from other platforms, so us freaks came together and created a site for other freaks — a site where nothing is censored, a site with no algorithm, no capitalism, no ads, and again, absolutely no censorship.

this has been our house for decades. you newbies don’t come into our house and tell us how to arrange our furniture. either be nice and respect our house, or leave and build your own house elsewhere.

[angrysexyshortstack]

Cis people simply don’t understand that the entire harry potter franchise is basically a hate symbol these days

[jamieonthem00n]

Today I had the super pleasant experience of having to explain to my pro AI - pro “technological advances” dad why me, a very known HP fan since I was eleven, why I wouldn’t be watching the new show and just wont interact with anything related to it anymore and he just wouldn’t get it, like he didn’t understand why the authors actions would impact my take on the franchise itself or the public’s opinion on it. He just went: well, some controversies won’t affect a famous million dollar franchise because people don’t care. And I just sat there, like that’s my point, I CARE and that’s why I walked away from my childhood hyper fixation. And he went: ok 👌🏻 and left

[lover-of-mine]

The thing about the competition line and the scoff we don't talk about enough is how the two together actually imply that Eddie is in love with Buck not the other way around. And this coming from Tommy, someone who clocked Buck as queer before Buck clocked himself, has weight to it. Tommy more implied that Eddie would eventually want to swoop in and take Buck and Buck would let him. He cut his losses in 806 because he knew that with Eddie around, eventually Buck and Eddie would get there and he didn't want to be the casualty of the situation. But if Eddie isn't physically around, then the opening for Eddie to swoop in is smaller, so he has better chances of not losing the competition he's been playing since he kissed Buck the first time fully aware Buck is batshit insane about Eddie. He can live with the ghost since he thinks the ghost has a lot less power to create problems. But the implication that Eddie isn't straight coming from the guy that dragged Buck out has a lot of weight attached to it. Weight Buck himself can't handle. Not just because in some senses Tommy is exposing Eddie's sexuality before Eddie is ready and that makes Buck defensive, but also because the only reason Buck can't look at how he feels about Eddie is because of his perceived straightness. Buck's whole defense is tied to it being impossible. If it's not impossible, then he has to think about it, and if he has to think about it, then he will want it, and Buck doesn't cope well with wanting things. So Buck can't think about the guy that noticed he was queer noticing Eddie is as queer. Because if Tommy was right about him, then what if he's right about Eddie? And if he's right about Eddie, then what does that mean for the two of them? And that makes the scoff the most awesome thing.

[outerspacekat-deactivated201801]

ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY:

wait until it gets dark and make tea or coffee or hot chocolate, or if it’s too hot outside make yourself a healthy smoothie with your favorite things in it at any point during the day

put on your favorite underwear, it helps, trust me, it’s an old family secret (i’m not kidding)

if you have a pet, play the “how many things can i stick on you until you move or get mad” game (bonus points if they fall asleep, extra bonus points if a family member sees you and tells you to quit it, extra double ultra points if they join in)

rip a peice of paper into as many little pieces as you can

go to animeseason.com and click “random anime” until you see one that looks completely ridiculous (or actually good) and watch the first episode. repeat if it sucked or if you get bored halfway through

spend at least an hour making a music playlist for how you feel right now and save it for now or when you feel a bad mood rise again

curl up in bed and cover yourself with blankets and pillows and put in music and just lay there for a while (sleeping is also good)

eat everything

drink lots of water

it’s okay bad moods don’t last forever!!!!!! i promise!!! you will be yourself soon and there are people who love you very much, don’t be afraid to reach out to them

you are lovely

eat lots of bananas

[asoftgoblin]

here are some more friends

i bet there is still a box of crayons in your house somewhere (if not you can get them cheap during back-to-school sales); find them and use them (maybe while watching ridiculous anime)

sunshine if you can manage it or just a sun lamp trust me it matters more than you think especially in winter

hugs even if they are stuffed animals or your pet or your pillow whatever is on hand

if you’ve got a favorite lotion/soap/thing that is scented use it liberally

cry if you need, if it doesn’t start by itself or if you don’t want to attract attention put on a sad movie so you have an excuse

write this down to pull out on future bad days:

it is okay to have a day where you don’t get things done

it is okay not to have a reason for feeling bad

taking care of yourself is a worthwhile use of time

if you still don’t feel better it is not your fault (and it is okay to ask for help)

[dino-dancer]

@daysleftofsecondterm

[daysleftofsecondterm]

And may I say, before the crowd of “self care isn’t always fun” crowd rolls in… not with that attitude it’s not.

[kedreeva]

shower/bath (being dirty/sticky/warm/cold when you don’t want to be can make a bad day worse, and sometimes slapping on some music and sitting in bath stew with a cold drink or taking a cold shower or whatever will give your system time to handle/deplete stress chemicals)

brush teeth (see above)

go outside without a screen and sit, lay down, stand, or walk and just look at the space around you/the sky for a few minutes. Take your break at work someplace you can see outside if you can.

Close your eyes and happy-paws knead a pillow for a couple minutes.

call or message someone you like and ask them about something they like. listening to someone I like talk to me about something they like tends to cheer me up and remind me there are good things, and gets me out of my own head. plus I get to talk to someone I like, and make their day better, too.

do some stretches for the endorphins

[opossum-handz]

[buckasagirl]

Something about everyone, Everyone, coming together for Buck. Every time. The loneliest character. Lives alone. No kids. No partner. Eddie’s paired with Hen, Buck is paired with Ravi, except Ravi’s paired with Harry. He searches for ghosts in his empty house and when that doesn’t work he holes himself in his kitchen to bake by himself.

He’s stuck alone underneath a firetruck. He’s alone in a burning factory. He dangles, alone, from the ladder where no one can reach him. He takes pills in the dark when Eddie and Chris leave and goes through withdrawals alone. At first. Because despite all of that, he is also the person who brings everyone together. Every. Time. And what is he if not the heart of everything?

[bexism]

evan buckley | ghost of you

[bilosan]

madney and buddie parallel 8x10 Voices // 9x13 Mother's boy

[emziess]

911 - Buddie Nashville Headers

Below the cut are a few buddies headers from the 911 nashville crossover episode.