What Duck?

Imogen, she/they, Jewish, American Midwest, bi and nonbinary TERFs, SWERFs, MAPs dni

[segamascott]

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

[sashayed]

[no-more-dead-dogs]

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

[weevil-mastermind]

Imagine if we did the “public libraries are punk” thing for other subcultures. Imagine if people made shirts that said “Soup kitchens are grunge” or “Mixed Use Urbanism is Juggalo”.

[vintar]

[academicabyss]

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[prime-tiktoks]

[byjove]

t-shirt that says ‘I’D RATHER BE DEBASING A CHASTE AND VIRTUOUS KNIGHT RIGHT NOW.’

[neckfat]

[userfish]

this is the craziest thing I’ve ever fucking seen

[astralikacastle]

i'm pregnant and its baseball

[beardedmrbean]

[geniusbee]

these are getting weird

[bearie]

every post on iwaspoisoned.com starts with a guy being like yeah this smelled really bad and tasted really bad and looked wrong and i became violently ill after consuming it and you look at the attached photo and its a big jug with three X's and a skull on it

[angelicguy]

this is crazy i made this exact joke in a personal discord chat the other day. but this was posted 5 hours ago. what gives

[bearie]

do you want custody of the post

[angelicguy]

I just wanna hang out

[cedarwool]

yesterday i was at the woodworking store getting a knife sharpener because i've been really into whittling hair sticks out of hardwoods which dulls your blades like mad. and the lady who was helping me said "oh yeah i know the feeling of jumping into a project that turns out more complex, that's how i feel about my cable knit right now"

which in turn activated my sleeper autist, and we ended up talking about fiber arts, where i learned that this woman is part of the local lacemaker's guild and uses her woodworking experience to carve lace bobbins on the lathe. she then gave me the email address of the woman who runs it, because their group has no social media and only meets when the lead lady says 'everyone come to my house.'

while all of this was going on, another woman walks up. her partner was shopping for wood repair stuff and she heard us talking about fiber- she's a spinner who does historical reenactments nearby. period accurate, processes the wool herself. of course i ask her if they need volunteers and she gives me her contact info

long story short. autism is everywhere you look and you have to be okay with chatting with strangers. i don't remember where this post was going

[kvothes]

a good thread

[hiveswap]

i dont know i love all gay people equally

[savouryduck]

@sunbrightprince you beat me to the joke I wanted to make 😔

[Image description: screenshot asking "which are the best fruits?" with multiple-choice answers with images:

Cod liver oil

Walleye (raw)

Pacific oyster (raw)

King mackerel (raw)

White sucker (raw)

second image is tags reading "white sucker (raw) is what they called me back in college /lying" End image description.]

[mothman-etd]

Not sure got to feel when the hobby book says this should only take an hour but it took me 5 hours.

[gallusrostromegalus]

1. Hobby books are often written by the same people who think you can caramelize onions in 5 minutes

2. Hobby books are even more often written by people who don't have or are actively neglecting their partners/full-time jobs/pets/children/household maintenance.

3. Hobby books are often written by people with ADHD, and an hour in ADHD hyperspace is like 2-7 hours for everyone else, including other ADHD people who are not currently in the zone.

4. Hobby books are written by people who, when told by an editor to add in how long it will take, just make shit up

5. If you're doing something for the first time, you're going to take way, way longer to do it than someone who's had years of practice. Maybe it does only take an hour IF YOU'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR TEN YEARS. Think about how long it took you to make idk your first excel spreadsheet vs how long it takes now

To actually answer your question: proud. You should feel proud, because you made something, AND you did so while learning a brand-new skill! Go you!!

May I ask what the Allegedly-One-Hour project was? Both because I like hearing about what my friends are doing and I want to see how wildly inaccurate the listed time scope is.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

If you're comfortable accusing anyone of faking disability, you're not a real ally to disabled people

[teaboot]

One time when I was a kid a group of girls and I had to treat another student for hypothermia by ourselves because she had so many invisible health issues that the adults we asked for help didn't believe us. The student in question was actively hallucinating. When I finally ran for help the people I grabbed were slow as shit to respond, casually joking about how "dramatic" the person in question was.

The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.

Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.

I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.

Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.

"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."

"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."

"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"

Sincerely, truly, from the bottom of my heart- as someone who isn't physically disabled but hears this shit all the time- fuck off