Your Title Here /n

Mid-30's Transfem Gamedev and Writer, I'm [firstname] Mischief [lastname-lastname], check out the nonsense games I make https://janksmith.itch.io/ Or my silly stories https://www.scribblehub.com/profile/126661/bobbity_obbity/

[tarragonthedragon]

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

[the-punforgiven]

Love the thought of some sort of high fantasy amitheasshole forum

[the-punforgiven]

AITA for not telling my new party why I broke things off with my cursed greatsword?

I know how it sounds, but like, bear with me.

I (28/F/former paladin), had been travelling with a cursed greatsword (Immeasurable/F/Sword) and was really into her for a long time. When we first met she told me she was the disembodied spirit of an ancient warlord and beamed images of a beautiful raven haired warrior in gorgeous blackened Gothic armor into my mind, she told me it was her true form and I was super into it so I forsook my paladin oath and we started hooking up

Early on in our relationship she was really supportive when I started to transition, telling me she was "nearing her apotheosis" as well. I didn't think much of it at the time, and dutifully listened to her when she told me to travel the kingdom and assemble the ritual objects for her ascension. There was a team of adventurers that tried to stop us and she told me to kill them but one of them was my former best friend Sir Roderick The Bold (25/M/Paladin) so I refused and only incapacitated them. She didn't like that and we had a huge fight about it after we'd left

Long story short after I'd done the ritual and assembled the artifacts she revealed her true form was a ruse and she was actually just a mass of tentacles and eyes (which I don't mean to yuck anybody's yum mentioning, it's just that tentacles don't really appeal to me lol)

She said she was going to consume the world, "starting with you" and that I had "outlived my usefulness". I felt really shocked and betrayed and helped the adventuring party that was following us around to defeat her and seal her back in the sword (which I left there), but I feel really bad about it

I sorta got adopted by them since then and they keep telling me things like "Good job resisting the influence of the cursed sword!" And "How did you break free of her mind control?" Or "I am happy to see you've chosen the path of righteousness." And I haven't told them I wasn't ever under a spell or anything, I was just really mad at her at the time and lashed out. AITA?

[r2x2]

The Amnesty International report that JK Rowling is trying to censor through legal threats.

It can also be found on Google Drive here and on Bluesky here.

[cbarc]

Please save and share this info where possible. This report has since been removed by Amnesty International due to legal threats of libel from JK Rowling. This information is no longer easily accessible.

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

buying a big censer on a chain secondhand from an orthodox priest's estate sale so i can put my fairy in there and swing her ass around the room

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

oh you think it's funny to smoke weed all day in your cage and make my apartment stink while i'm at work all day. cmere. i hope you like sandalwood & being so dizzy you puke, ya little fuckin menace

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

terrible? no i said your behavior was THURIBLE

[xylocopae]

starting a collection

[terramythos]

apparently amazon's AI catastrophically fucked up and equated bytes with gigabytes so started billing aws customers literally billions of dollars for their data usage

[terramythos]

the percentage increase. i'm fucking wheezing

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP: Why couldn’t traditional Chinese Yinpiao银票/silver drafts be forged if they were merely slips of paper? (cr大明宝钞，渐越)

Traditional Chinese yinpiao/silver drafts were paper vouchers issued by private banks starting from the Song Dynasty(960–1279). People could exchange these slips for physical silver at bank branches across the country.

Silver drafts were made in multiple copies with matching serrated seal edges. One copy went to the customer and others stayed at the bank. All edges had to fit perfectly together to withdraw silver. The unique split edge marks were almost impossible to copy.

This mechanism is known as qifeng骑缝 (split-joint seal) in China. It first originated in the Western Zhou Dynasty (1046–771 BC). The Rites of Zhou records that contracts were written on bamboo or wooden slips in duplicate. Notches and marks were carved in the middle before splitting the slips, with each party keeping one half. The two halves would be matched by their notches for verification.

During the Spring and Autumn and Warring States periods (770–221 BC), this idea evolved into hufu虎符/tiger tally tokens. A military tally was split into two pieces with identical inscriptions carved along the split edge. Troops could only be deployed if the patterns and characters on both halves perfectly aligned, serving as a metal version of the split-joint anti-counterfeiting system.

The technology matured in the Tang Dynasty (618–907). Government documents and private contracts commonly used split-joint seals stamped across the dividing line. The Chinese character "hetong合同" (contract) was written across the middle before the paper was torn apart, so the complete characters would only appear when the two halves were put together. This split-coupon system was later adopted for Song Dynasty (960–1279) jiaozi paper money and yinpiao/silver drafts of the Ming and Qing dynasties (1368–1912).

Official Song dynasty paper money (Jiaozi交子) was abolished in 1107. Private silver drafts issued by Qing-era piaohao票行 (ancient exchange banks) vanished completely in 1951, hit hard by modern banks and currency reforms. Nowadays silver drafts no longer circulate as currency. Their collectible value depends on their rarity and physical condition.

Split-joint seals (骑缝章qifengzhang)are still widely used on important paper documents in modern China, an anti-tampering technique passed down from ancient times. They are applied across the edge of multi-page contracts, bidding documents and official archives. If any page is removed or replaced, the broken seal pattern can prove the file has been altered.

[ariaste]

OMG I got so excited about this because they used a really similar (though far less refined) version of this for contracts in the European medieval period!

First they were called "chirographs", but later the word "indenture" (in its earliest meaning as just a legal document of any kind between two people) came to be used, originating from the practice of a contract being written twice on a single piece of parchment and then cut in half with serrated edges (as in dent, "teeth" -> indents -> indenture) in order for each party to take one half, so they could later piece them together and verify that there had been no forgery -- same as the Chinese silver drafts!

(Charter of the Clerecía de Ledesma, 1252, showing the serrated indents at the top -- presumably they are cutting rather than tearing because they're using parchment, which I expect is much harder to tear than wood-pulp paper like the Chinese were using)

Delights me when human beings find similar ways to solve the same problem at two different ends of the world. <3

[callali1y]

i need to stop flirting with people on the other side of the planet. but also i will never stop because they're all so fucking hot

[callali1y]

im going to become a tourist attraction. come to aotearoa. you can fuck callia.

[callali1y]

[txttletale]

efforts towards a "positive vision of masculinity" or whatever are so funny because what these guys are trying to figure out is literally "what's a way of being a good person that's Not For Girls™"

[the-pallid-princess]

adding @unidentifiedfuckingthing 's comment

[t00thpasteface]

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

[sunderwight]

Cursed to be stuck inside this ancient amulet for years but you know I was kind of getting used to it. The solitude had eaten away just enough of my sanity that I'm pretty sure it only would've been a few more days before I started hallucinating some really neat shit.

But then. THEN. This fuckass twink descendant of my mortal enemies picks up my amulet. Takes right out of the sacred chamber. I guess it was finally a ruin now? Worse timing possible, too late to stop me going insane and right before the insanity could pay off.

So some clueless idiot is actually wearing me for the first time in centuries. I'm gonna wreck this dude's shit, I don't care if he is weirdly nice and kind of pretty in the face department. The second I accumulate enough power I'm breaking out of here and making him regret being born.

[sunderwight]

Okay so I did accumulate enough energy that I might have been able to break out, maybe, but also probably not quite just yet. Which is why I had to use it to stop that dragon from killing Captain Fuckwit.

Like I had to do it. If the dragon kills him how am I supposed to be the one to do it? I didn't rot in that sealed chamber for centuries just so that the last living descendant of my most hated enemies could get offed by something that wasn't me. There's no poetic justice in that and also I am NOT owing any dragons any favors.

[sunderwight]

I've been thinking about how I'm going to kill this guy. I mean there's not a lot else to do, I'm still stuck in the amulet so mostly I'm limited to being spooky in his dreams until I suck up some more power. But it's going to happen. I'm out of the sealed chamber now there's so many opportunities and also I'm patient. I've learned to be extremely patient. Would be weird if I hadn't.

Anyway I'm not going to kill him right away. Where's the satisfaction in that? He's the last descendant of my enemies (pretty sure) so of course I gotta drag it out. This is the only revenge I might ever get. I'll have to capture him. Keep him sealed away for a long time, see how he likes it. But like. In a nicer placed than that fucking chamber because unlike some long dead assholes, I have standards. Plus I'm also going to spending a lot of my time there too, menacing him and shit, so it better be nice for me.

I'm thinking summer house on an otherwise uninhabited island. I keep him there where there are no dragons or ogres or demon kings to interrupt, and I tell him all about the shitty things his ancestors did, to like. Demoralize him. So that he knows that even though I'm a scary evil creature that's going to be his ending, he doesn't get as much moral high ground as he'd probably like. I make him eat meals with me just to draw out the tension, and then I give him nightmares, making him twist and writhe in his sweat-soaked sheets while his heart hammers against his ribs and he wonders if this will finally be the night I finish him.

Yeah. Sounds good.

[sunderwight]

Fuck. Turns out there's another one. Descendant of my hated enemies from centuries ago, I mean.

Hope he falls off a cliff.

[sunderwight]

Listen. Giving him command of the remnants of my dark army is just practical right now. I don't have the energy to communicate extensively with them myself, and they'll keep him alive long enough for me to take my elaborate revenge without me constantly having to intervene and sacrifice my own energy to do it. And anyway I have ceremonies to plan, it's going to be amazing, I'm going to round up every last remnant from the old days so that they can witness my final triumph when I claim his life and soul forever.

Also, he used them to humiliate that other fuckass descendant guy. Even I can begrudgingly admit it was pretty well done. Corrupting influence gain! I'm kind of surprised his allies haven't all abandoned him for using dark and sinister forces to save their lives, though, but I guess it's fine if they don't. Sure why not. We can be cool with raising cursed armies in this day and age apparently. Yeah that thing I was sealed away for for centuries is just not a big deal now. Cool cool cool.

[sunderwight]

You know what, I'm going to make his friends come to the ceremony too. So they can also witness my triumph and his utter defeat and subjugation at my hands.

Maybe I'll even let them visit him in his woeful imprisonment afterwards as well. Just to really hammer the point home. They're not the worst company, at least. Not as annoying as heroes used to be. We can have them over for dinner while I lord my victory above their helplessness. Real power move to just let them come and see the guy that they are nevertheless unable to free from my dark clutches.

I guess I better make sure they also don't all die either, if that's the case. It's a good thing I'm patient. So many fucking setbacks!

[sunderwight]

AHAHAHAHA!!!! YES!!! FREEDOM!!! I'm out of the FUCKING amulet!!! At last, nothing stands between me and total domination!!!

The hero is already kneeling, too!!!

[sunderwight]

God fucking dammit.

Those guys were supposed to be dead for centuries! And they're still ruining my life! Fucking. That fuckass other descendant managed to summon them and of course THEY are still not cool with me or my dark forces, although I'm going to be real, they weren't looking too noble and above-aboard themselves when they turned up. That was some hypocritical undead revenant bullshit.

Of course I ended up fighting them. They attacked first! Again! They were even trying to kill their own descendant! And those heinous bitches called me the monster. I've never tried to kill my own descendants. Probably because I don't have any but still. At least try and take over his body first or something!

Well actually they did try it, I think? But that hero of theirs had worn my amulet for so long that he was too corrupted for it to work. Ha!

Small victories.

I'm going to need to hang onto those.

Because now I'm sealed back in the fucking Chamber Eternal again.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING---!!!!

Okay.

Alright.

I'm not going to lie this isn't looking good. I'm not in the amulet anymore but the seals on the chamber are strong, made with the souls of those fuckdamn ancient heroes. All my power is left with their descendant on the outside now. My plans are thwarted. I'm going to languish in this minimalist hell of a chamber until those ancient souls run out of juice, and currently they're forming a dome of spiritual energy so flush with power that the ghosts on the moon can probably see it.

It... it's going to be... I mean. It'll be fine. Back to getting to the good part of going insane, right?

[sunderwight]

You guys are not going to believe how I got out of the chamber.

[sunderwight]

Okay I think I've figured out what's going on.

I was really confused at first because, why would my sworn enemy who I've been plotting vengeance against this entire time free me from the chamber? At great effort and personal risk, no less? That fight was absolutely brutal, I'm not sure I could have even done it myself in his place, and I mean his situation without even bothering was quite good. He had all of my power. His ancestors were likewise distracted with sealing me away. He could have ascended to become the next Dark Lord or, I don't know, ran around doing his Power of Friendship bullshit for the next ten thousand years largely uncontested. Not only does he not have a further use for me but if anything, I present a massive threat to him if I can regain enough strength to take my power back.

But I think that's it! That Power of Friendship bullshit! Somehow, this guy has mistaken me for an ally.

I can work with this.

As long as he doesn't suspect that we're actually enemies, I can bide my time, restore my power, wrestle control of my armies back from his grasp, and then get him back on his knees.

I just need to pretend that I've actually been helping him out this entire time.

[sunderwight]

I really want him back on his knees. That was a good look on him. He's got like super long eyelashes for a dude. Plus you know that's where he belongs, groveling before my might! Mwahahaha!

[sunderwight]

Well this is going surprisingly well. Like I don't think it's even occurred to him to be suspicious of me? He hasn't even tried to drug me with truth serum or test me at a holy spring or drag me in front of any tribunals. When I caught one of his little friends passing information to his rivals he just... took my word for it. I could have been lying. I wasn't, because I was actually expecting him to check, but I could have been.

I'm almost starting to wonder if he really is descended from those ancient hero fuckers, he doesn't act like them at all. The apple must have rolled into a goddamn river and been carried off to sea after it fell off that tree.

This is going to be easier than I thought.

[sunderwight]

Just because I'm pretending to be his ally doesn't mean I can't still sabotage him, of course. That one little traitor might have been a real mole, who is... somehow still in the group, and not beheaded or anything(????). But I'm pretty sure the king's son is genuinely devoted to his brother-in-arms, to my hero-enemy, and hasn't committed any convenient betrayals that I can dig out and wave around to get rid of him. If that even would get rid of him (see: traitor mole still in group). More's the pity.

Such a strong political alliance with the ruling family will further cement my hero's power in this region. Potentially, that will make it even harder to extricate him for my own purposes later on. Of course, it's not worth the risk if I do something too extreme and it gets traced back to me, so I can't simply kill the prince.

But I didn't study medicine at my grandmother's knee just to forget all the useful bits in my dark rise to power. That idiot won't be riding out to adventure alongside his 'sworn brother' tomorrow if he has too many embarrassing rashes to get into his saddle.

This might seem like a petty plot that is beneath me but it's tactically sound. I've thought about it a lot.

[sunderwight]

I hate having no powers. Keep forgetting I can't turn invisible.

I can't believe I'm probably going to get ousted because I was caught putting itching cream in the shithead prince's ointment.

[sunderwight]

Apparently the prince is engaged to a princess from a neighboring kingdom who is also his childhood friend and one true love.

I don't know why people keep bringing that up as if I should care, but they haven't thrown me in a cell yet. So. Okay?

[sunderwight]

Starting to think I could just light this place on fire and everyone here would start apologizing for all the smoke.

[sunderwight]

I take it back these people are abominably over-observant. I'd rather be caught trying to poison the prince again, but the hero's singular suspicious friend, that woman knight, just had to follow me to the abandoned shrine instead.

Cats are one of nature's most successful predators. Properly trained, a dark familiar is an excellent spy and helper, and I am in need of every advantage I can get right now. Everyone knows the best way to ingratiate yourself to animals is to get them young. Feeding kittens is a sinister action.

I mean it's good that it helps my cover that these people think otherwise, it's just that they're wrong. Half of my family was executed for feeding cats. Back in those days everyone knew what was up and nobody cooed about it.

[sunderwight]

Shit, shit, I knew we shouldn't have kept that mole around. Fucking sob story bullshit. The hero's captured. My dark feline army isn't ready! I'm going to have to turn to some other means of regaining him before the enemy steals my power from him. They can't be allowed to do that. It'd kill him but more importantly it would make it that much harder for me to ever reclaim it.

[sunderwight]

HOW FUCKING DARE THEY?!

The only one allowed to strip him and put him in chains is me!!! ME!!! He's mine!!! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE FIRST TO DO THAT TO HIM!!!

Bastards! Hacks!

I didn't sell my soul to eight different devils to be upstaged by some fuckers who barely grasps the fundamentals of summoning circles. Fuck the low battery I don't need the dark forces of beyond to take these bitches out, their rituals are shit enough I'm going to end them with a piece of chalk and three drops of blood. Hold my fucking beer.

[sunderwight]

Fixed it.

[sunderwight]

Gonna have to rework some of my dungeon/summer home plans. Chains are tacky. Some good enchanted silk rope works just as well.

[sunderwight]

Hero says he needs to reward me for saving him when we get back. I should probably decline whatever it is, that's what all these people seem to do, but I'll at least see what he's offering first. Just in case it's worth cracking my cover for.

[sunderwight]

You guys are not going to believe what the reward turned out to be.

[sunderwight]

I'll have to revise some of these long term plans.

[carlyraejepsans]

tragic! trans person no longer merely tolerating the act of existing just now realising their entire wardrobe is ass

[prokopetz]

The two "created in a lab" fantasies:

Yes, everything about me is fucked up, but what if that was secretly awesome?

Yes, everything about me is fucked up, but what if there was someone to blame?

[janksmith]

3rd secret option: Yes everything about me is fucked up, but if we look at the average person hard enough they are also fucked up so I'm actually incredibly normal.

[prokopetz]

Flavours of unreliable narrator:

Lying to the reader

Lying to themselves

Simply misinformed

Not paying attention

Has weird priorities

Assumed you knew

Hates you personally

Bad at communicating

Easily sidetracked

Will believe anything

Has weird prejudices

Just kind of dumb

[newsmutproject]

Studies show that approaching youth with a bystander-intervention model is actually a lot more effective for reducing sexual assault, and it is also more enthusiastically received than programs that bill themselves as anti-rape.

We can tell youth that they are basically “rapists waiting to happen” (anti-rape initiative), or we can tell them that we know they would intervene if they saw harm happening to someone and we want to help empower them to do that (bystander intervention). The kids jump in with both feet for the latter! It was amazing to see children (and young boys in particular) excited to do this work and engage their creativity with it. Also, studies show that not only do they go on to intervene, but they also do not go on to sexually assault people themselves. Bystander intervention also takes the onus off the person being targeted to deter rape and empowers the collective to do something about it. It answers the question in the room when giggling boys are carrying an unconscious young woman up the stairs at a house party, and people are not sure how to respond and are waiting for “someone” to say or do something.

Richard M. Wright, “Rehearsing Consent Culture: Revolutionary Playtime” in the anthology Ask: Building Consent Culture edited by Kitty Stryker

[beatrice-otter]

This is also, btw, how the US drastically reduced drunk driving in the US. Telling people they shouldn’t drive when intoxicated made absolutely zero difference. A slogan-and-ad-campaign for “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk!” changed drinking culture. Going after the bystanders is quite often the most effective thing to do in any social change.

[bpd-dylan-hall-deactivated20190]

“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

[tuesdayisfordancing]

I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody: 

zeug·ma ˈzo͞oɡmə/

noun

a figure of speech in which a word applies to two others in different senses (e.g.,John and his license expired last week ) or to two others of which it semantically suits only one (e.g., with weeping eyes and hearts ).

ISN’T THAT AWESOME??

[professorsparklepants]

#in english class in high school my teacher had us write our own zeugmas in class#and one guy came up with ‘he fell from her favor… and the window’#i am forever looking for opportunities to use that one

[siesiegirl]

She dropped her dress and inhibitions at the door.

[crumbvulet]

What’s this? My favorite rhetorical device showing up on my dashboard?

[thranduilland]

IT HAS A NAMEEEE!! OH MY GOD!!!

[candiikismet]

I LOVE THIIIIIS!!!

[orriculum]

One I’ve loved was “on their weekend trip they caught three fish and a cold”

I love these they’re like a pun and a metaphor wrapped up into one neat phrase

[elodieunderglass]

Must've been hard as hell in the day-to-day

[elodieunderglass]

Frodo: I just felt like I was really locked in … idk

Sam:

[elodieunderglass]

Getting notes on this post is like …. Girls you might be in burnout. Sorry I can’t help. 😘 though