hot poetry dad™

she/they - asexual - lesbian - i don't know how to use tumblr lmao - call me jelly

[jellybelly-360]

do you think the muffin man is a dilf

[rslashrats]

new fun trend: take this quiz and tell me your score

[corpsebod]

12/12!

[thesassycat]

You can only reblog this today.

[askjennaflorida]

I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again

[bachelorettemarnie]

[jellybelly-360]

my favorite fnaf character is willy wonka

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Geese Lack The Capacity For Shame. This Is Distinct From Emus, Who Can Be Shamed (But Like Geese Are Incapable Of True Remorse) 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Sea Gulls Can Be Peer Pressured Into Violence But Not Peace

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Blue Jays Do Not Experience Fear They Experience Malice

[thealmightytoothpick-deactivate]

What about chickens?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Chickens Are Made Of Love & Warmth & Feathers. Hens Are Maternal Goddesses, The Ideal Mother Figures. The Best Of All Possible Worlds Will Always Contain An Abundance Of Chickens, Happily Roosting. 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

all my thanks to the many many, many pissy chicken owners in the notes for pointing out, repeatedly, that chickens are bloodthirsty opportunistic cannibals who will happily strip a rodent down to bones within minutes and also, yes, occasionally eat their own eggs. I admit I was baiting you slightly, but was not prepared for the absolutely feral response, are ya’ll doing okay

[technoblade-updates]

Technoblade has confused Philza Minecraft with the Christian God in his quest for Dream SMP lore! (Read Top to Bottom)

[Image ID:

A cropped screenshot of 2 Discord messages by Techno.

The first reads “ive been getting too deep into dsmp lore lately. was reading a comment and it took me three sentences before i realized they were talking about jesus and not philza minecraft”.

The second reads “they were talking about how he sacrificed his only son to save the world and i was like "dang rip c!wilbur :technopepe:"

End ID]

[sungso]

a

[sqlatoon]

b

[getitogetherstevecarlsberg]

c

[bunnyclown1975]

d

[trashkingpit]

e

[meticuloushand]

f

[natswash]

g

[oops-still-here]

h

[frecklesandcupcakesarchive-deac]

i

[paperlettuce]

j

[quatzopal]

k

[egoi-sm-deactivated20161011]

l

[somethingsgottasaveyou]

m

[e-rror-404]

n

[mridia]

O

[jesusanddick]

p

[potatosoup]

Q

[connorsyouth]

r

[onlinehottie]

s

[twoheadeddavghter]

t

[lovedoggos]

u

[brainmilks-deactivated]

v

[skeletonjock]

W

[goblinshell]

x

[sizequeen]

Y

[merzcar-deactivated20151231]

Z

[himejoshikomaeda]

what the fuck. theres not even a fucking joke here. its just the fucking alphabet. i was expecting some kind of fucking meme like “gun” or “john cena” or something like that but no its just the fucking alphabet. here. on tumblr.com. 26 users just fucking banded together to write the alphabet. what the fuck, man.

[batter-sempai]

I think the update broke them, and almost everyone else.

[tobi-with-an-i-deactivated20220]

a

[cokebody3]

b

[ch0ccy-p0o]

c

[shesstiillshining]

d

[tiredcoffeesblog]

e

[ghost-of-sorrows-deactivated202]

f

[jesterzdonteat]

g

[sh-addictlol]

h

[dripping-pink-knife]

i

[bogos--binted]

j

[its-a-mi-a-mia]

K

[ohmarjorie]

L

[peachykittea]

m

[jackhammerhim]

n

[bfhdhb]

o

[whatsitcalledfromthingy]

p

[wellthatschaotic]

q

[ghostly-rowlf]

r

[downydig]

S

[priestlady]

t

[triangleguy]

u

[fryeshiverbigman-deactivated202]

v

[sad-boy-hank]

w

[formerlyfandy]

x

[whitespace-sys-deactivated20220]

y

[elsa707-deactivated20251201]

z

[whitespace-sys-deactivated20220]

a

[almighty-sinnoh-aus]

b

[formerlyfandy]

c

[whitespace-sys-deactivated20220]

d

[imgayandilovedaggers-deactivate]

e

[apureillusion]

f

[godmodebeginswithlesbians]

g

[blue-knightshade]

h

[riverside-lavender]

i

[sun-of-the-skys]

j

[arrymoon-deactivated20221207]

k

[auroraborealis1890]

L

[onebillionghosts]

m

[teamcapwasrightandishouldsayit]

n

[kaijubluu]

p

[thisblurbisanerd]

Q

[upbeatwarning-blog-deactivated2]

r

[moth-lover-not-mother]

s

[transgender-rex]

t

[star-boy--7]

u

[walkwithme-alittlelonger]

v

[persassystilinski-deactivated20]

W

[tome-itwas-deactivated20250903]

x

[dark-artifices-only]

y

[carysfebruary]

z

[stay-because-now-you-have-a-home]

a

[tfischaitea]

b

[bambisncs]

c

[luvingmachine-deactivated202208]

d

[ranpoismyblorbo]

e

[11nolongerhuman-deactivated2022]

f

[fierreth-who]

G

[h3vans3nt]

h

[fierreth-who]

I

[blue-jos10]

j

[hologramsaredead]

k

[stay-because-now-you-have-a-home]

l

[utterly-in-like-deactivated2023]

m

[possibly-cursed-salesman]

N

[official-pepper-potts-stark]

o

[falconanon]

p

[spidergirlmcu]

q

[evan100505]

r

[jellybelly-360]

s

[sandmandaddy69]

[arianod]

Always forgotten. Remembered never.

[kuboe-deactivated20231023-deact]

It is officially Robert Pattinson matching the tablecloth Tuesday everyone!!!!

[notoriousbeing]

this is the last robert pattinson matching the tablecloth tuesday in 2021

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

bc of my crack fic people have been sending me every manner of Grinch x Tony the Tiger headcanon……who wants to hear the one that finally snapped me like a tennis player’s tendon

[deliriousdumbosdrinkingdilemma]

Please

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ok so if the grinch and tony had a kid, it would probably be

have weird fur and an unsettling appearance (like the grinch)

be orange and into sports (tony)

so that child would be Gritty

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I’ve never derived an iota of joy from this website and I truly don’t know why i’m still here

[yellowbuggie]

[yellowbuggie]

I am ashamed to say that I put a lot of effort into this….

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

holy. fucking. STARS.

[yellowbuggie]

Whoops my hand slipped….

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

how have you done this…..why have you done it…..

[yellowbuggie]

I can’t stop

[yellowbuggie]

Look at the kids run! 

[yellowbuggie]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Happy Grinch Day, Chapter 4 of the GRINCH X TONY THE TIGER FIX-IT FIC is up!

[madam-melon-meow]

Ykno. This is probably why tohny da tyger was added to the banned tags list

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

TONY THE TIGER WAS WHAT NOW

[strange-aeons]

this you?

yeah it was me

[jellybelly-360]

@freshsweetrolls

[toonskribblez]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the GRINCH X TONY THE TIGER Fanfic is live on ao3! hope this causes you all tremendous distress 😘

monthly subscribers can skip ahead to the next chapter

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

actual real things about this fic:

the Grinch is nonbinary & uses they/them pronouns

the Grinch is autistic

it takes place in the Jim Carrey movie universe, so the Grinch has two lesbian moms

(side note, in the movie it was implied the grinch was conceived at a swinger’s holiday party, but we don’t have to talk about that)

tony was a professional athlete who had a lucrative career appearing on cereal boxes

tony the tiger is divorced w/ kids

the Grinch is in therapy

[wereallcurioushere12]

I am sending this to all my friends gaud.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

there are over 300 comments on the fic so far, and i’m reading all of them, and i have to say my favorite comments on the ones where people are sharing this with family and friends. sometimes out of spite, sometimes earnestly. 

thank you for spreading me around like the invasive fungus i so truly am

[media-sickos-international]

I submitted it to my english teacher (our assignment was to find a well written work to share on the internet)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

…I am absolutely frothing at the mouth to know your teacher’s response please

[media-sickos-international]

this is it

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this was beyond my wildest dreams actually much thanks

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

UPDATE:

i am having the BEST month

[tooweirdfortheworld]

I’m dying I was not prepared for this

[media-sickos-international]

hey I just wanted to mention the fact that this was a catholic school. just in case this wasn’t wild enough already. the disciplinary officer was a fucking nun

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i am now feral. i have gone feral. i am leaning a little pile of stick again a tree, soon i will nap beneath them, they will collapse on me during the next rainstorm

[eh-fandomtrash]

I’m sorry.  Getting a nun to read THE Tony the Tiger x Grinch Fanfic is the best thing ever.  This person wins at life.  Game over.  We have all lost to the person who got a nun to read that fic.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

A NUN WAS FORCED TO READ MY CRACK FIC I AM A BROKEN BEING

[marta-bee]

Thirty seconds ago I was laughing so hard, breathing was a challenge. Now I just can’t stop grinning, which is progress.

[onedudestiefling-deactivated202]

Sent to disciplinary without even reading it first?

They were really having nun of it, huh?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Happy Grinch Day!

NEW CHAPTER’S UP

[animatedtext]

Hi! Would you mind checking out my speech? I worked really hard on it!

why is this website

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I didn't know bucket toothpaste was only a thing here!

[one-time-i-dreamt]

WAIT! How do people in other countries put toothpaste on their toothbrushes??? You d-don't use your toothpaste spoon????

[one-time-i-dreamt]

You keep your toothpaste in condiment tubes???

[lazy-cat-corner]

Do people keep decorative containers for their toothpaste? That bucket looks like it would be clonky to keep on a counter.

[stars-and-darkness-main]

I'm Croatian and I've never seen this in my life...

[lazy-cat-corner]

I was trying to figure out if this really is a thing. All I could find when searching for bulk toothpaste was this. Apparently some people buy it to reduce waste. No idea where to find it, but it looks like some places offer it with a pump. 😆

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I love this, wish we got the pumps in Croatia instead of just regular buckets

[one-time-i-dreamt]

We've all been there at least a couple of times 😂😂

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Just opened Croatian Reddit to this

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[multiversal-andra]

I'm LEGITIMATELY crying omg he's PAINTING and it's ART and it's GOOD AHHH.

[kakosophos]

i just remembered dogs are colorblind so the red stem is because she thought that was green im crying

[callmebliss-got-swamped]

She's a pretty smart dog maybe she learned color theory

[bluefandoms]

Adjusted for Red-Green Colour Blindness:  

So...  it might have looked something like this: