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JBB: An Artblog!
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ojovivo
Today's Document

@theartofmadeline
$LAYYYTER
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@khornatedreadnought
truly ahead of their time
You turn on the radio one morning to find another one of those Rap songs where every 4th word is a swear. Naturally the Radio bleeps it out, but you realize that it sounds familiar. You realize that the rappers are speaking in Morse code.
Your eyes widen as you swerve over onto the shoulder of the expressway, nearly hitting a Jeep Cherokee in the process. It didn’t matter to you. Frantically searching the glove compartment, the backseat, and your purse, you finally find a small notepad and a pen with a low ink cartridge. You listen closely to the radio, and begin to scribble down as much as you can. You realize it was merely a pattern.
— -. . / - .– — / - .– — / ..-. .. ..-. - -.–
Unfortunately for you, you aren’t very well versed in translating Morse code, merely recognizing it. You reach into your purse to grab your phone, but after a moment of searching, you realize you had left it at home before you left for work. “God damnit,” you mutter. You’re more than halfway to your office, and you’re already running late due to the fact that that you decided to follow some whim and jot down some cryptic message from a provocative rapper. Concluding that it would probably be best for you to mosey to work, you pull back onto the expressway and try to make it to work on time.
Upon arriving at work, you ask any coworker in sight if they know Morse code. Nobody seems to, and some don’t even know what Morse code is. You slump your shoulders in disappointment and head over to your desk, when suddenly, the quiet, mouse-like secretary clears her throat and says, “Excuse me, I know Morse code!”
You turn around with the same wide eyes as before. “You do!?” you ask vigorous excitement, which seems to startle the young woman.
“Yes,” she says, “when I was younger, I planned on joining the navy, so I taught it to myself.” You feel a bit sorry for her, that she wound up as a mere secretary instead of a naval officer, but that feeling of pity didn’t stop you from being grateful for the lucky coincidence of her knowing Morse code. You show her the pattern.
— -. . / - .– — / - .– — / ..-. .. ..-. - -.–
“That’s all there is?” she asks, furrowing her brow.
“Yeah,” you shrugged, “it just kept repeating that over and over again. What does it say?”
“One, two, two, fifty.”
Your heart sinks a little. “What is that? What does that mean, is it like a phone number or house address or something?”
The secretary shrugs. “I’m really sorry, I don’t know. It’s too short to be a phone number, but beyond deciphering it, I’m afraid I can’t help you.”
You nod slowly, and though you understand, you are still not at all satisfied. You go to sit at your desk. 1 2 2 50. The sequence plays over and over in your head all day, and needless to say, your curiosity an wonderment got the best of you. It was not a very productive work day.
You head home, and the same damned song plays on the radio. You shake your head as if that would make the song stop, then decide to plug 12250 into your GPS to see if there are any autofill results. None. You become increasingly frustrated.
When you get home, your daughter is sitting at the kitchen table, working on homework. She runs up to you and gives you a big hug, and asks about your day at work. You put on a fake smile and sigh. “Interesting,” you say— no doubt sugarcoating the intense excitement, disappointment, and confusion.
“Will you help me with my homework? I have to memorize something for my history class tomorrow.”
“Of course, doll! What are you memorizing?”
She hands you a laminated sheet of paper. “Roman numerals!”
You glance over the page, your eyes quickly darting from one, to two, to fifty.
It dawns on you. You’d recognize this pattern anywhere.
I II II L
My method of getting kids not to swear at camp was just to appeal to their sense of fairness.
Child: “Fuck!”
Me: “Hey! I’m not allowed to swear in front of you guys. It’s not fair if you swear in front of me, is it?”
Child: “I guess not… sorry…”
Sometimes I’d work with teenagers and facilitate activities like giant swing or zipline, which involve full-body harnesses that get Wildly Uncomfortable in the crotch areas. The younger kids didn’t mind it, but those burdened by more of the wonderful gifts of puberty had some things to complain about.
And complain they would! I think 15 year old boys are contractually obligated to shout “THIS HURTS MY BALLS!” at the top of their lungs every time they’re in a harness. To combat this, I’d warn them about the pain ahead of time and tell them that if they need to come down, I’ll help them down immediately. “However, I don’t get paid enough to listen to teenagers scream about their genitals for an hour. If you have to scream, we’re gonna call them ‘your honor’, okay?”
Teenagers screaming “OH NO! MY HONOR!” while swinging through the canopy? Hilarious.
Who knew one could be nostalgic for this? I sure am.
OP turned a bunch of teenagers into fucking zuko.
man victorian slang was fucking lethal
literally how was anyone expected to say something like this with a straight face
me:
my brain: oh? you’re a chime?
a week ago i saw this on facebook and thought it was fucking hilarious and now i cant get it out of my head. ill be sitting on the bus or be alone in my room and just say “oh? you’re a chime?” out loud
oh my god….there are people alive in this day and age who don’t know how to torrent movies
a friend the other day was like….”oh i really want to watch this movie but i cant find it anywhere on netflix or online” and i said “oh you can just torrent it” and she gave me the blankest look…and then i said “you know…piratebay? kickasstorrents?” and she just frowned at me…what’s happening to this generation
Guys it’s so much worse than that.
A couple years ago an instructor at my college who taught basic programming courses for game design majors posted on his facebook that a bunch of his incoming freshmen didn’t know how to create a zip file.
A lot of public schools dropped their computer literacy courses in the early 2000s because they just assumed kids would “learn it at home.” There’s a whole generation of kids who only know how to navigate a touchscreen phone/tablet. They’ve never used a laptop or desktop.
I saved the facebook post and discussion thread – you can read it here: http://lierdumoa.tumblr.com/post/162986545597/image-is-a-screen-capture-of-a-facebook-post
I teach a college English class and not a semester goes by where I don’t have to teach a student how to use the Tab key to indent a new paragraph, because some of them literally have no pragmatic computer experience.
pirate bay and kickass torrents are long gone….. like ofc kids dont know about them…
they’re….they’re still there. kickasstorrents and pirate bay are still there and still kickin like crazy….in 2019….i think people not knowing about them has to do more with the rise of streaming services like netflix n hulu n shit
But its illegal?????????
this is actually the funniest objection i’ve seen so far. what are you? a cop? you love the law? you love paying 15 dollars for albums made by artists who eat lamborghinis and diamonds and will make more money in a year than you ever will in your life? it’s okay. fuck the law.
“Emuparadise being shut down is a good thing. Buy your games legally”
Ladies and gentlemen of the court I present my first piece of evidence. Exhibit A
And Nintendo doesn’t get any profit from that inflated price so what’s the point of stopping emulation?
not to be that guy op but…. path of radience isn’t that much. amazon always shows the prices of new, sealed games. it’s maybe about $100
ahhh yes that’s just ok then. $300 is a bit too much but $100 is a perfectly reasonable price for a 13 year old gamecube game
i still believe yanks only drinking at 21 is the cause for a lot of them being off their face cunted
I don’t know what this says.
“It is still my belief that US citizens not drinking until they turn 21 is the reason so many of them to have such strong drug and alcohol dependencies” is I think a decent translation.
Oh yeah that makes sense.
Bro the NGE fandom is already like this
it’s genuinely been like this since the 90s
this guy created mcafee antivirus and then went completely off the rails. like absolute chaos. he got super rich, moved to Belize, was suspected of murdering his neighbor, fled Belize, had his location accidentally leaked by a Vice journalist who was with him lmfao, was apprehended in Guatemala, faked not one but two heart attacks while in custody to buy time for his lawyer, was deported back to the US, and then ran for president as a libertarian
hes so unintentionally funny
HOW could I forget this classic
Did you fuck a whale, John McAfee?
Game of Thrones S02E04 “Garden of Bones”
me: (googling) snake bite leg what to do
google: elevate and apply pressure
me: (lifting snake real high) apologize or else
Thor age 8
ONE OF OUR INSTRUCTORS ACCIDENTALLY GOT PAID $787,000 THIS MONTH IM WHEEZING, OMFG PAYROLL
A PAYROLL EMPLOYEE ENTERED 123 INSTEAD OF 1 SO HE GOT PAID 123 TIMES WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO
this is the rare $786,708 payday. reblog to receive more money than you were expecting on your next paycheck 💫
Me, if my job ever made that error
share the toolman and the next 20 seconds of your life will be pretty decent
ngl it worked
damn that’s some fast service
i shared in 21 seconds and he fucking killed me with that hammer
Every single odd number has an “e” in it.
LISTEN-
Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …
father god
…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.
-_-’
(15+15=30
25+25=30)
25+25 = 30? You sure about that??
Lord have mercy….
Bye
3 days into 2018 smh
LMAOOOOOOO
One
Three
Five
Nine
And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.
🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!
It keeps getting worse.
LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON
My head hurts…
This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this
who failed yall?
IM SCREAMING
You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even
why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck
3 days until 2019 and we’re still here
happy New year’s eve
I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was
Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…
did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away
Reblogging for the last one😂
The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.
TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING
Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?
ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E
bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN
what the actual fuck is happening
1 is an even number
I’m gonna smack you
-30 and -50 have an e in them
Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea
Zero isn’t a number
It can’t be divided by two though, can it
It can??? 0/2=0??
OD NUMBERS
onE
thrEE
fivE
sEvEn
ninE
OD numbers huh?
Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all
YOU FORGOT 5
DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR
What about it?????
THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT
THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????
A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y
IM FUCKIN SOBBING HAVAGAFDHFDHHBJJ
im rblogging this again oof
Is it too late to change my major after I already received the degree? Asking for a friend… 😣
What happened to y'all?
go back to school y'all
This post is wild
As a teacher and tutor this hurt my whole being. Any of the above users please feel free to reach out to me for math tutoring.
I love how the ncr gear actually works so well as camouflage to the point i cant find their dead bodies to loot half the time, or cant see ncr rangers at night unless something tries to kill them and i hear the gunfire
Meanwhile roman idiots are out there not giving even 1 fuck