i only platonically hate you

she/her / 27 / MN, USA / lesbian / libra / i reblog whatever i think is funny and whatever is my current obsession / discord: aka#9861 / also i can't make up my mind on my username or icon so deal with it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[chromaticabrasions]

does any one want to play toys with me

[spnyuri]

okey

[chromaticabrasions]

ohhh boy this is the most fun i’ve had

[specialagentartemis]

my petty gripe about anachronism in historical/fantasy/spec-fic worlds is attraction language.

We’ve all heard the “should you use modern queer labels or not” argument but honestly even when people go “true, they wouldn’t use the labels ‘aromantic’ or ‘asexual,’” so often the characters describe their experiences as “I never felt romantic attraction” or “I don’t feel attracted to anyone” in ways that makes me go. You are stilllllll thinking about this in an extraordinarily modern online way. That 19th century steampunk detective man will NOT be angsting about having never felt romantic attraction, he would be angsting about being unable to feel moved by the beauty or charm of a woman, or something. And I do think that “attractiveness” language is different from the identity-level idea of experiencing attraction—Sherlock Holmes does not talk about not experiencing attraction, but when Watson says “What a very attractive woman!” Holmes responds “Is she? I did not observe.” (And then Watson calls him an inhuman automaton and calculating-machine and Holmes calls Watson’s judgement biased). Never swayed by the attractiveness of a man or woman, never desirous of marriage, never charmed by the delights of love, all of these feel like some of the variety of ways that someone in this milieu might describe an ace- or aro-spectrum identity more than “never felt attraction” does. Mostly because, like the terms for aromantic and asexual themselves, nailing down an exclusively attraction-based definition of a-spec identities is a relatively new and extremely post-AVEN thing. And yet in fiction everybody knows to articulate their experience as feeling sexual/romantic attraction. And I always want to go nooo how would THIS character think about it?? Not how you think this character SHOULD think about it, how would THIS person in THIS context articulate their feelings?

[shirtsthatgohard]

[mothghhost]

A man protesting against a Maryland sodomy law, October 11, 1987

[rimonoroni2]

!! MARYLAND MENTIONED !!

[bisexualamy]

This is not the original T-shirt. This is photoshopped. Here's the original:

This is the sodomy law, however, so the message is the same.

[hotvintagepoll]

oh man I hate spreading misinfo. Thanks for the correction!

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

It's the last day of April

[my-little-bologna]

Wake up babe, new meta layer just dropped

[thebibliosphere]

When I say editing software is getting dumber, this is what I mean.

In what world is "What dinnered?" more legible than "What happened to dinner?" I just... what?!

[emperorpenguin]

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

you can know the punchline but you can’t stop it from punching you.

[mighty-meerkat]

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.

[moonlitstargazer]

[pangur-and-grim]

see her loud

[pangur-and-grim]

now see her quiet

[certified-cervid]

now see her bowling pins

[afieldinengland]

normal country latest

[redsunrisinginthesky]

[theladymisandry]

You CANNOT hide these in the tags @injuries-in-dust

[thickness-protection-program]

Dang rip America

[karlyboyyy]

[ouppygirlpaws]

🦠 #my crobe

[mixelation]

🤧💦🦠🦠🦠🤢

#our crobe

[targetedknowledge]

[saul-tortellini]

It was like the sun came out from behind the clouds...

[lakevida]

on it boss

[zanmor]

step 1: mitosis

[gilgameshhimself]

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

[higglety]

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Dear people who type in all lowercase, We are the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse. Sincerely, Capital Letters.

[kingcriccket]

you CANNOT read too much old timey fiction because I was playing Raft with the lads this morning and without a THOUGHT said we could sail over to another island "if the wind would consent to blow" & let me tell you. This did not pass by unremarked.

[rainyydoves]

[pathetic-gamer]

sent this post to my spouse

[anarchistmemedistro]

[anarchistmemedistro]

hurtful

[teaboot]

Not the point in the slightest but are cigarette ads not illegal in the USA❔❔❔For some reason that one is blowing my mind

[ayellowbirds]

Only as of 1999. The original, unedited version of this cartoon, by Clay Butler, was published in 1996, and looks like this:

Someone went to a lot of effort to not only remove the cartoonist's credits, but also make the joke weaker. In the original, the graffiti is a lone and comparatively small, unremarkable tag in single-line monochrome. It contrasts with the billboards and signs by being unobtrusive, making it all the more absurd that the pig notices it with such vitriol. The edited version loses the impact by making it stand out in bright color and cover the whole of the wall.

[bunney]

yes friends let us blaze the marijuana! four hundred and twenty haha

[teampunkrocket-moved-deactivate]