ilya rozanov enjoys using “everypony” to refer to his centaur teammates because he loves watching the psychic damage happen in real time
noise dept.
Today's Document
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Game Changer & Make Some Noise
The Bowery Presents
hello vonnie
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Doug Jones
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
Sweet Seals For You, Always
tumblr dot com
One Nice Bug Per Day

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
h
taylor price
art blog(derogatory)
The Bright Sessions
EXPECTATIONS

Jimmy Eat World
KIROKAZE
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@ladybriarbee
ilya rozanov enjoys using “everypony” to refer to his centaur teammates because he loves watching the psychic damage happen in real time
so I’ve been chewing on an idea for a couple of days now brought onto me by @hr-rep. Picture a scenario where in the Shane and Ilya’s first time penetrative „Don’t worry it will fit” it turns out that it doesn’t fit… but it also turns out that Shane is very much into the fact that it doesn’t.
I kinda see this going two ways and both end up influencing the trajectory of their relation.
So there’s Ilya working Shane open on his hand and it’s going very slow. Ilya’s trying his best to do it right, and he knows he’s big and if Shane stays so tight it is not going to work. He tries to get him to relax, brushes his hand at the back of Shane’s neck, voice low and steady talking him through it. Then when he pushes in, it just doesn’t give, and it’s Ilya’s instinct to retreat and call it a day, get each other off like they’re used to. Except!!! Shane’s vision kinda goes white at the intrusion and it hurts but he wants more and his mind focuses only on this one thing. He whines and moans and Ilya’s already pulled back saying we don’t have to, we can try next time. And Shane is desperate to chase that feeling, wants to feel it again, for hours. He says, quietly please please it feels so good.
And they’re both so stressed because they’ve been waiting for this and Ilya wants this to be good for Shane and his brain is kind of stuck in a loop of hurtshane-makeshanefeelgood where he wasn’t anticipating a scenario in which those things are not mutually exclusive.
If Ilya pulled away and said he can’t do it or that they shouldn’t do it like that his first time, imagine what that would do to poor Shane’s brain. Not only is he gay, which if the fact ever saw the light of day his entire career would be in ruin. And now it turns out that he’s also some freak of nature who gets off on his sexual partners hurting him. And he had trusted Ilya with so much of himself that no one else gets to see already, and in the end Ilya, too, rejected him. He’d make Ilya leave shortly after that, and he’d spend the night glaring at the ceiling and beating himself up, vowing to himself to never put himself in a situation like that again. And Ilya tries to reach out to him, asking if he’s okay, if he wants to hook up again, maybe if he just wants to talk but Shane is so so deep in that well that he ends up blocking Ilya’s number.
But then if Ilya went through with it, goaded by Shane’s come on come on it’s just like slamming me into the boards I’m gonna like it it’s part of the game and Shane is so tight and so hot and the sounds he is making are on the verge of agony and ecstasy but Shane’s pushing back into him and a thought settles in Ilya’s head this is how he wants it, give him anything he asks for and his thrusts are getting rougher and Shane is getting louder until Ilya tightens his grip on his ass and slams forward, nailing Shane’s prostate with full force and then Shane is coming, a litany of fuckfuckfuck and moans and after a beat of silence a quiet whispered thank you. And they don’t really talk about it (not until years later anyway), but some unspoken agreement is made, some sort of thread is formed that pulls them back towards each other like magnets, pathetically and helplessly and there’s no one else for them after that.
Anyway, what do you think would happen?
Obsessed with deadbeat dad Ilya Rozanov. Not a real dad - he keeps it wrapped. But the Raiders keep trying to get him to take European rookies under his wing. He does pretty good at the on-ice mentorship but off the ice, he’s hanging out with those guys for 3 business days and then getting too preoccupied with either chasing that Hollander sugar-free cookie or getting so depressed he’s googling “how to disappear forever without anyone noticing reddit”
don’t make other people’s decisions for them. apply for the job you don’t think you’ll get. let them decide if you have the skills they’re looking for. tell that person you like them even though you think they’re out of your league. let them decide if they like you. stop trying to predict and control everything. bring what you have to the table. let the rest go.
"cozy bookstore" "cozy cafe with a bookshelf" "omg imagine if there was a place you could just sit and read at" we have this its called the library. you guys want to go to the library. the two college libraries near me have cafes inside and they are open to the public. people need to go to the library
The Queering the Map project launched in May 2017 so I'm thinking about Shane reading an article on it that summer at the cottage, still warm from an afternoon with Ilya in the sun, then pulling up a little rink in Saskatchewan on it and in a moment of daring posting a pin with "December 2008. Fell in love with him here ❤️". A little shiver runs through him, and after some minor anxiety about IP tracking he moves on with his day and eventually forgets.
Years later, one of the rookie Centaurs brings up the map in conversation at a team party and mentions his favorite pin, an odd one at the Saskatchewan rink. Shane goes a little pale but lingers to hear, just in case. The rookie pulls it up on his phone and reads it out:
"December 2008. A shy smile, two handshakes, and a million freckles like stars. I have chased him ever since."
how hard do you think ilya gets the first time he’s antagonising another player and a ref looks at shane and says “put your dog on a leash”
subspace shane is so awesome
honestly the audacity of young ilya rozanov to take a look at shane’s massive cock and then be able to say to him with a straight face that he has a nine incher too
SHAMELESS
i made a Heated Rivalry fic rec quiz!! have fun!!!
what it says on the tin
never forget what's really important: approval from pervert women on the internet
Ilya getting Shane out of his head when he's not playing up to his usual standard by straight up dirty talking to him in the locker room, whispering pure filth into his ear to rile him up. The only things the Cens can see is Shane seemingly getting progressively more angry, trying to unsuccessfully pull away from Ilya and then responding through gritted teeth, clearly seething. Honestly, for a minute there, it looks like he might hit him. But then he gets out on the ice and fucking demolishes and Ilya's just sitting on the bench, smug as fuck, because if there's one thing Shane has trained himself into through the years of secret hookups, it's playing an amazing game while fucking bricked up.
It takes the Cens aaaaages to figure out that it’s not actually his angry face, that’s his public space erection face. It’s like they see Shane go 😡 when there’s a giant billboard somewhere with an Ilya Calvin Klein ad or sth (shit maybe he’s jealous about the brand deal), Ilya scoring a four goals in a single game and Shane is like 😡 (he hadn’t scored four goals with the Cens yet, maybe he’s beating himself up). Ilya dancing at the club all sleek and shirt unbuttoned and there’s some men approaching him and Shane in the booth with his 😡 face (possessive much?). So it isn’t until Ilya dismissively confesses in the locker room that some bitch on the ice has called him a faggot and Shane’s face goes entirely blank 😶 and everyone is outraged of course, but there’s definitely some double takes at Shane’s expression and when they bring it up later he’s like why would i be upset about a fifteen feet tall picture of my husband in his underwear???
healthcare should be freeeee what the hell are we doing dumbass government what are we paying you for
it will forever be a little insane to me how ilya rozanov, born and raised in russian, total jock/party bro, father-is-police-brother-is-police guy, somehow has never had an ounce of internalized homophobia in his body. canonically just saw being bi as an extra opportunity for hot sex. started experimenting with guys at 16 and simply never questioned it. and like yeah he’s a top but it’s also so clear that he does not see being a bottom as a demeaning or less masculine thing in the slightest. this man goes on to wear leopard shirts and booty shorts and flicks his hands gayfully and makes gay jokes at his jock colleagues and being tender with other men is like second nature to him and He’s actually the one to makes the ‘oh are you scared of being gay?’ ‘cuz I thought you might be gay when you were sucking my dick’ jokes.
this man this mannnn i want to pick his brain apart with a tweezer
this is CRITICAL to my ilya thesis. ilya consistently tries to care for his father and brother, but he's not making his life choices primarily to please them, because he knows he never will (probably has also benefitted from always having svetlana's voice in his ear saying "your father is an asshole who would have punished you either way"). my headcanon is that the post-draft gala scene is him finalizing this realization, actually: he has literally just been declared the #1 hockey player in the whole world and it's not enough for his father not to humiliate him in front of a whole room full of people and his new boss! it's painful but he's also just like "oh, yeah, wow, fuck this, i'm gonna live my new life. boston's nice, right?"
he feels like he has to go home and perform his duties as a son but he doesn't feel like he has to actually be the thing they want him to be because it's impossible.
Luca finally brings the guy he’s been seeing to a Centaurs hang out & the guy has blonde curls & brown eyes & a small spattering of freckles & later Shane says to Ilya “Am I narcissistic for noticing that?” & Ilya is like Shane we have bigger fish to fry I think Luca pocketed the bones from the chicken wings we ate earlier
distracted, jane?
redraw inspired by this post by @hr-rep