"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
occasionally subtle
Fai_Ryy
hello vonnie
Cosimo Galluzzi

@theartofmadeline
YOU ARE THE REASON
$LAYYYTER
Noah Kahan
Jules of Nature
art blog(derogatory)

Discoholic 🪩
we're not kids anymore.

bliss lane
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🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
taylor price
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@levinea-yuuki
It's fun when the robot character in the sci-fi show gets cut in half because nobody working on this type of media knows anything about robotics and you never know what you're going to find inside. Green printed circuit boards? Meat and viscera, but like in a weird colour? Just a shitload of goo?
I especially like it when the robot appears to have realistic musculature which operates via contraction, suggesting some sort of fluid-driven or shape-memory-based actuation, and then it gets dismembered and a bunch of random gears and sprockets go flying everywhere.
You're a sci-fi robot who just got cut in half by the Big Bad (don't worry, you'll get better). What's inside you?
Printed circuit boards (blinking lights optional)
Gears and sprockets
Endless bundles of wire
Some sort of translucent crystal
Meat and viscera in a weird colour
Random geometric shapes
The cut is mirror-smooth, like I was one solid mass of metal
It looks like... car parts?
I'm actually mostly hollow
Just a shitload of milky goo
Other (specify)
Cheese sandwich
I like to think my engineers foresaw the likelihood of my bisection and designed a clean break point with that in mind, leaving a small compartment filled with confetti
Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk
“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”
Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?
Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby
Husband: RIVETING!
Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️
Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!
Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk
All of tumblr collectively at my husband:
Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream
Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!
Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued
Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.
THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND
yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this
Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays
Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.
????
Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave
Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!
FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering
I have follow up questions:
1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?
1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?
I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.
Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂
So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂
Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.
Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she
1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night
2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day
3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together
I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times
If Ratatouille mechanics were real, there would be a whole market of businesses offering the services of operating rats to people who want them, and it'd be like how bees produce honey. People in the rat business would be so exhausted of having to explain over and over again that no, the rats aren't being exploited. If the rats didn't like how they're being treated, they would simply not return. There's no goddamn way to force a rat to be so passionate about playing the saxophone that they'll figure out how to puppeteer a human to do it for them. All that the business does is finding a way to put that specific rat in the hair of someone who's about to go on stage.
The rats 100% think the businesses are being run for their benefit and worry about the humans being exploited.
A rat manager who is a rat and deals on their end of the deal is exhausted of having to explain over and over again that look, an average fully grown adult human being is like 200 times your weight, their hands are very fast and they can throw things better than you want to imagine. If one of them things didn't want you in their hair, you're not going to stay there for long. You'd be yote out the window in two seconds flat.
heard someone say "who even owns a rolling pin anymore" and my brain froze trying to process it. what does that mean. are u implying rolling pins are outdated technology? did we come up with a shiny new 21st century method of flattening dough of which i remain uninformed? is there now an app on the app store people are using instead??? im losing my mind "who even owns a rolling pin" people who BAKE
#kneadless comment
bonus/proof:
we tipped her well dw. best waitress ever 🍒
no, i do not have cameras in your home (yet)
have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.
they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.
their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.
longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years
toxic flesh
has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.
lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion
largest genome of any shark
eats everything including moose and polar bears
ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you
this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard
just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !
Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!
Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir
I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks
I don't see what the-- oh gosh
certified door post
When people argue that food from Chinese and Mexican restaurants in the US are not 'real' representations of that culture's cuisine ignore the historical reality that these dishes were developed by diasporic communities striving to recreate the flavors of home with available resources. Such criticism frames adaptation as a loss of authenticity, rather than recognizing it as a sincere and evolving expression of culture by people separated from their homeland.
Too good to leave in the tags
since when did snapple start dabbling in elemental elixirs
I love how they went for the four classical elements but realized they can’t call a sweet flavored beverage Water
They've just reinvented SoBe from first principles
Details From Disney Movies
In The Lion King, unlike the other lions, Scar’s claws are always displayed throughout the movie.
In The Little Mermaid (1998) when King Triton is introduced, you can see Mickey, Donald, Goofy and Kermit the Frog in the crowd, underwater.
In Cars, the flies are actually tiny cars with wings.
In Hercules (1997) the Fates tell Hades all the planets will align but only show 6 planets aligning. These are the 5 planets plus Earth that the ancient Greeks were aware of and could see with the naked eye.
In Zootopia, while Officer Judy Hopps is ticketing cars around the city, she never crosses the street illegally. She always uses a crosswalk and looks both ways before crossing.
In monsters inc, sully’s chair has a hole in it to accommodate his tail.
In The Brave Little Toaster, all of the walls in the cottage are cleaned only as high as Blanky can reach.
In Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, during the food storm the president’s of Mount Rushmore get pied in the face but Abe gets hit in the back just like his assassination.
In Cars the truck stop advertises “convertible waitresses” i.e., topless.
In Finding Nemo, Bruce the shark starts crying when Marlin starts talking about Nemo, saying “I never knew my father”. Male sharks mate with the female then leave, so baby sharks never actually meet their father.
The Magic Carpet from Aladdin makes an appearance in Moana.
In UP, there are craft supplies on the table by Ellie’s hospital bed when she gives the Adventure Book to Carl.
The hold up scene in the Incredibles is actually an homage to a similar scene from Die Hard with a Vengeance, which also starred Samuel L. Jackson.
In Toy Story 3 (2010) Buzz Lightyear’s batteries are exposed showing the Buy n Large brand, the same company responsible for making WALL·E.
In Ratatouille (2007) Anton Ego’s typewriter resembles a skull and his office a coffin.
In Monsters, Inc. (2001), there are multiple sizes of coffee cup for each of the different sized monsters.
In Toy Story 2 (1999), as the restorationist is going through his equipment, he opens a drawer filled with chess pieces. This is a reference to the Pixar short “Geri’s Game” where a similar looking man plays a game of chess against himself.
In Inside Out (2015) while going through Imagination Land a game box can be seen in the background with Nemo on it called Find Me.
In Cars, you can spot Sully and Mike in cars form!
At the end of Ratatouille (2007) Anton Ego is a little bit fatter. This is especially poignant since he states, “I don’t like food, I love it… if I don’t love it I don’t swallow.”
In Coco we can see The Incredibles poster.
Insuricare, the company that offers “car life insurance” to the cars in Cars 2, is the same company Bob Parr works for in The Incredibles.
In Inside Out (2015) two of the memory orbs on the shelves contain scenes from Up (2009). One features Carl & Ellie’s wedding, while the other shows their house.
In Toy Story Woody is trapped in a crate which is stuck under a ‘Binford’ tool-box. Binford is the fictional tool company in the TV show Home Improvement which starred Tim Allen, the voice of Buzz Lightyear.
In The Incredibles, in Bob Parr’s home office, there’s a photo from a fishing trip where it appears he caught Bruce from Finding Nemo.
In Cars 2 (2011) while in a pub in London there is a tapestry on the wall that is the DunBroch family tapestry from Brave (2012), except they are portrayed as cars.
In “Ratatouille” (2007), Linguini has to hide Remy before his second day of work. He offers to hide him in his pants, revealing his briefs covered in The Incredibles logo.
After the plane is blown up in The Incredible, Helen (Elastigirl) knows the plane debris is going to fall on them due to seeing the reflection in the water.
THIS
I hate the videoification of everything. If I have to hear one more video of someone speaking closely into their shitty mic and I have to have all their yucky wet mouth noises and plosives and nose whistles and throat clearings and sniffles I am going to dig a vertical hole the exact dimensions of my body and I’m going to slither in head first
as someone with misophonia, the widespread popularization of asmr audio editing + people that are being pushed to make video content with no formal training and have no idea how to edit their audio (ex college professors, average joe tiktokers, etc) is literally my nightmare scenario. this is hell I am in hell
this is actually the last straw for me I need to start sending people emails
oH RIGHT This was before LotR pioneered cgi for massed crowd behavior
There was so much cool cgi in those movies I just assumed all the clones were too but back then I guess they still couldn’t really be
this is so sexy
I wonder what happened to all the agent smith masks
I can actually answer this! So the latex/rubber they used, while standard for Hollywood at the time, reacted REALLY BADLY to being doused in pouring water nonstop for an entire day of shooting. They ended up corroding, which caused them to stink really badly and glob together at the seams. The original plan was to hand out masks to various crew members on the final day of shooting as souvenirs, but the sopping wet, melting, rotting rubber got so gross that by the end of that shooting day they’d already thrown most of them out. Somewhere in a landfill are hundreds of disgusting, bloated, slimey Hugo weaving heads fused together into a nightmarish rotting amalgam :)
it’s what he would have wanted
I think it's so funny how we bred JOBS into dogs. I have two shih tzus and they were bred to be lap dogs. All they care about is looking cute and cuddling with people. Meanwhile my grandma has a border collie and that dog needs to feel so useful all the time, he acts like he will pass away if he doesn't have a job to do constantly
On one hand this is extremely fucking funny, but on the other hand, it really boggles my mind how many people punish their dogs for just… doing the thing they were bred to do.
Your husky isn’t “hyperactive”, it’s bred to pull sleds for 8 hours straight and you have it in a 400 sq ft yard.
Your English sheepdog isn’t “pushy”, it’s bred to herd sheep, and you have neither to space nor the herd to allow it.
Your terrier isn’t “nippy”, it’s bred to kill rats and your hamster looks a hell of a lot like one.
Your Catahoula isn’t “mean to animals”, it’s bred to hunt any and all animals smaller than it, and you didn’t acclimate it to your cat.
Your Lhasa Apso isn’t “yappy”, it’s bred to bark at any tiny noise and alert watchmen to intruders
Like Jesus Christ, if you can’t provide an environment where your dog can’t fulfill its literal life purpose, maybe?? Don’t get that dog??? And if you do, maybe know the breed characteristics so you can redirect those traits into more constructive outlets????
Both your most common doodle's parts (labra and golden) want to hunt and retrieve water birds so the best suggestion I can give y'all is congratulations on your new duck hunting hobby.
#people will overlook the perfect breeds to suit their needs based on just their looks#and get a work dog because it looks cool
tags from @gnarlystarships because YEAH
@gallusrostromegalus
Any time someone sees Herschel and says "AWWW I want a Corgi <3" (because he is Very Cute (TM)), I immediately reply: "Do not get a Corgi unless you have a job for it to do. They were bred to bully livestock across the hills of Wales. This is basically a Border Collie that knows he is cute enough to get away with murder. If you get one and it doesn't have a job, it will apply its livestock-bullying instincts to YOU. Herschel's job specifically is to help manage my crippling ADHD, because I don't have a bull for him to micromanage." This gets me odd looks at the home depot but it does get the point across.
Well those are allllmost done
question. why do you have 7 featureless grey monoliths in your driveway
There's eight actually but the last one is still in the garage
question. why do you have eight featureless grey monoliths
They're actually a really dark purple
question. why do you have seven featureless really dark purple monoliths in your driveway and an eighth in the garage
Some of them do have features though. There's holes and hinges and stuff, so I can put secrets in em
question. why do you have 8 really dark purple occasionally featureful monoliths
The heart wants what the heart wants
this reads like a muppet sketch
see? See!??!
You're not wrong
This post is less than six months old.
World Heritage Post
...ah.