An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
An: Written for the anythingdrabble prompt: Drip
One day Stiles showed up at Derek’s loft covered in green slime.
‘Can I use your shower?’ Stiles asked Derek as the slime dripped off of him and splattered onto the floor. His cool scent was covered by the stench of rotten meat.
‘Sure, but I don’t have any clothes that fit you,’ Derek said as Stiles walked past him. His clothes would be too big because Stiles was skinny and small.
‘It’s all good, I got spare clothes,’ Stiles said as he held up a gym bag.
Stiles left his phone on Derek’s coffee table as he walked to the bathroom.
After several minutes the phone rang and Derek picked it up.
‘Hello?’ Derek asked.
‘Derek? It’s me Scott. Is Stiles around it’s kinda important.
‘Sure.’ Derek said. ‘Stiles! Scott is on the phone!’ Derek yelled in the direction of the bathroom.
Stiles came out of the bathroom and Derek was taken aback. Stiles was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist and his muscular chest was on full display. A drop of water slid down his pale neck and onto his chest. Derek had to stop himself from licking his lips because his wolf wanted to lick that chest and bury his face in Stiles’ dark chest hair.
Stiles said something and Derek drug his eyes up.
‘Huh?’
‘Can I have my phone,’ Stiles repeated.
Derek handed him the phone.
Stiles took the phone walked back to the bathroom. Erica walked up to Derek.
‘Damn. I know I said I don’t have a crush on Stiles anymore but I had no idea he was so buff. We should ask him to join us for training.
‘Yeah, no,’ Derek said because if he had to be around a sweaty shirtless Stiles he might actually die of blue balls.
ok you know how teen wolf has so many sponsorships. every other episode it’s like #spon look at this AT&T phone or #ad for the new honda civic! like it’s painfully obvious. good thing they put all their ad revenue to use with their amazing cgi!!
so anyway i think if the show were airing now they would get all these sponsorships like with podcasters and youtubers. they’d have to fit them in seamlessly with segues and random situations that kind of fit the show because it’s a crazy show in general. but they’re still kind of wild and obvious. and they all somehow relate to stiles.
there’s a zoom in on the BetterHelp therapy website on stiles’ laptop. he’s looking first for a therapist that specializes in PTSD and ADHD, bookmarks the link, then searches for a trauma specialist as well as PTSD again. this link we see him text to derek. he doesn't reply but the read receipt shows he's seen it. a sentence flashes on the bottom of the screen.
“Use code SOURWOLF to get your first month of BetterHelp free! Terms and conditions may apply.”
[the laptop is a sponsorship too.]
a few episodes later when they’ve run out of money again we see stiles building a website. it’s a blog and it’s through Squarespace. we see him typing up journal entries about his supernatural shenanigans. then he goes on to rant about star wars and other recent random hyperfixations like the different kinds of occlupanids (bread tags). he checks his stats and there’s only a handful of views on his blog (milesofstiles.squarespace.com or alternatively, stilesyaps.squarespace.com) but there are a few comments. they’re all from derek.
“what the fuck is an occlupanid?” “aren’t you supposed to be studying?” “we just almost got killed and this is what you’re spending the rest of your night doing?” “don’t turn lightsabers into an innuendo, it’s a disgrace to star wars and you know it.”
“Create your dream website now! Use code STILES for 50% off your first month of Squarespace!” blinks on the screen below.
it’s the middle of the night and stiles’ room is pitch black except for the glowing light of his laptop as he hunches over it in bed. there’s a zoom in to NordVPN on his screen and he’s connected to someplace in Delaware. we think he’s watching porn but he’s actually furiously typing and navigating to supernatural sites. the vpn is on so his dad doesn’t find out. he doesn’t give a shit if his dad knows he’s watching werewolf porn, that’s just one of his extracurricular activities, everyone knows that. but the supernatural world must stay hidden for now. he’s not ready to come out about that one yet.
“Use code FURRY for seven days free of NordVPN! Protect your internet now!”
stiles pays attention to everyone. he practically has files on them. (stiles’ files. files of stiles. miles of files of stiles.) he also observes derek needing to chill the fuck out. so what does stiles do? look up knitting tutorials for the man. he finds the ones on youtube aren’t giving him enough info and the cameras are too shaky and the quality is grainy and stiles is nothing if not nice, okay. he just wants the best for derek.
so he logs onto Skillshare and scrolls until he finds the perfect beginner knitting tutorial. the teacher is a sweet old lady with a soothing voice and it’s just what he wanted. he texts the link to derek and we see him add a few skeins of yarn and knitting needles to his Amazon shopping basket. except they can’t get Amazon as their sponsor so it’s just Scamazon.com instead. stiles has Scamazon Prime so the order will be here tomorrow. he can’t wait to give it to derek and see all his stress melt away. Stiles throws in a couple bath bombs for him too, what the hell.
“Pick up a new hobby today on Skillshare with code LEARN69!” (the numbers were randomly generated but the writers didn’t clock anything strange. they're not great at paying attention to detail.)
stiles cooks most meals for him and his dad. they’re healthy, or at least they’re trying to be. but it’s a lot of work meal prepping and cooking in between his schoolwork and supernatural business and saving everyone’s asses every week. so he gets the HelloFresh meal kit.
he picks all the non-bacon options and steers clear of all the keto meals. it’s just that when the kits come, there’s always an extra serving left no matter how much stiles eats. and he doesn’t really want to eat a lot of it because yeah it’s kind of gourmet but it also still sucks very slightly and he just wants a damn pizza once in a while instead of a quinoa bowl.
but he’ll do anything for his dad so he keeps making the meals and having some left over. a thought occurs to stiles which is that someone else he knows could really use a gourmet meal or two, and loves eating healthy as well. so stiles buys a pack of glass tupperware containers (the fancy kind) and we see him packaging up the extra portion of his meals every night and driving them over to the loft. he leaves them on the doorstep before he knocks and then runs away, looking like a little giggling gremlin all the while. it’s like a reverse prank.
derek opens the door suspiciously the first time but stiles’ scent is all over the container. he picks it up and we see him a minute later scarfing it down, letting himself enjoy the meal stiles made for him, the best meal he’s had in a while. he returns the clean container the next day without a word, leaving it on stiles’ desk, and a new filled container is on his doorstep that same night.
“Try your first box of HelloFresh for free! Use code TUPPERWEREWOLF and sign up today!”
so that’s how teen wolf starts making more money and the cgi improves drastically and all the plot holes fix themselves and sterek becomes canon. and one of the writers becomes a male podcaster and spills the tea on all the behind the scenes drama and he continues getting sponsored by these companies but it doesn’t even matter because we finally got a good show out of it. also the movie never happened. the end
I want the movie to happen but only if Eli is still in it (he was like a werewolf Stiles and the only good thing to come out of it) Maybe they could get sponsored by Draft Kings and spend the money to have a better movie script and they could add a scene of Peter gambling on his phone.
Fic found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85100551/chapters/224704821
An: I like to think that Stiles bought the blanket for Wolf!Derek because it has leaves and bunnies on it. Derek would never admit it, but he loves it.
I wanted to show off a print and a sketch of the cover of the Goosebumps book The Werewolf of Fever Swamp I ordered from Tim Jacobus (the artist who worked on some of the Goosebumps covers). This is my favorite Goosebumps book because I love werewolves and my Grandmom gave the book for my birthday and I still have it because she wrote a note inside the cover. The sketch wasn’t on the website but you can make sketch requests and it was well worth the $400 ($200 for the art and $200 to get them framed).
I crocheted a pair of overalls for Francois and I’m surprised that the straps stay on because he doesn’t have shoulders. I freehanded both him and the overalls so sorry if you want the pattern. I attached the straps with Velcro and bought the wooden buttons for another project and they turned out to be the perfect size.
older lotr illustrations sometimes depict éowyn wearing ridiculously small armour. apart from the problem general sexualisation of the only female character (who really does anything), there’s another hilarious thought:
éowyn pretended to be dernhelm, a man. to fit in, she must have worn men’s armor. so the armor in the illustrations is normal for rohirrim.
therefore, all the rohirrim rode to war just like that:
there’s a thundering sound in the distance as the rohirrim ride into war but rather than hoofbeats it’s the collective sound of all their cheeks clapping
Frank Frazetta was the reason He-Man was designed like that; the producers conduct a study to see what art appeal the most to children, and Frank’s work came out on top in popularity. So everyone in He-Man is dressed the way they are directly because of Frazetta.
Ah, it has been too long since I have seen the no pants post on my dash. And yes, this is a rare case where it wasn’t some sexist nonsense but an egalitarian No Pants Agenda.
“I am definitely an ass man. It blows my mind. Talk about simple shapes. Two very simplistic curves. It’s so dumb, but they are fascinating as hell. It’s more than that. It’s the way the rest of the anatomy ties into that area — incredible beauty”
Yes! Someone bought an original script form a charity auction and Fraser was originally going to go back to Canada alone while RayK goes back to Chicago. I prefer the ending we got because Fraser going off on a big adventure with Ray really shows how much he’s grown as a character. I wish RayV had joined them but I guess that’s what fanfic is for.
Apparently it was David’s idea to have RayV fall in with Stella.
I made a green/brown scarf for my Pipe Fox plush named Eli. He is named Eli because he has black like Derek and he’s a Fox like Stiles (my head canon is that Stiles is his other dad). The scarf is green and brown to match Derek’s and Stile’ eyes.
<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/84631891"><strong>Inked</strong></a> (300 words) by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/look_turtles"><strong>look_turtles</strong></a><br />Chapters: 1/1<br />Fandom: <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/tags/due%20South">due South</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Wilby%20Wonderful%20(2004)">Wilby Wonderful (2004)</a><br />Rating: General Audiences<br />Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply<br />Relationships: Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski<br />Additional Tags: AU, Duck mentioned<br />Summary: <p>Au. What if Benton got the Canadian flag tattoo in The Promise.</p><p>Ray likes Fraser’s tattoo.</p>An: Written for the anythingdrabble prompt: First. I love that they let Callum keep his tattoo in both Due South and Wilby Wonderful
When first time Ray saw Fraser’s bare arms he was taken aback. Not because Fraser had nice looking arms (which he did) but because he had a tattoo of a Canadian flag on his forearm.
‘Cool ink,’ Ray said with a grin because while the tattoo was unexpected it was still nice; the colors were bright and the red maple leaf stood out against Fraser’s pale skin. Usually white ink faded away, like what happened to Ray’s tattoo, but the white on Fraser’s tattoo was still bright probably because he wore long sleeves even out of his uniform and kept it out of the sun.
Fraser look down at his ink. ‘Why thank you. I was working on a case with Ray Vecchio that involved a suspect with a tattoo on his neck and we went around to several tattoo parlors. In the last one a met a tattoo artist that while knowable about tattoos he was going to put an oak leaf on my tattoo.’
‘Oh yeah, that’s much better than my story,’ Ray said as he rolled up his sleeve to show Fraser his Champion ink. ‘Me and my cousin Duck got matching tatts while we were drunk.’
‘Oh, dear. Do you regret it?’
‘Nah. It reminds me of my dad because he used Champion spark plugs.’
‘Oh, that’s very heartwarming,’ Fraser said as he rubbed his ink.
‘Yeah. Yeah. Do you regret yours?’ Ray asked because Fraser didn’t seem like a tattoo kind of guy.
‘Not at all. I know it sounds ridiculous, but every time I see it I’m reminded of my love of Canada.
‘Cool,’ Ray said because while he had been drunk while getting it, he liked his tattoo too.
Years later, after they got married they got matching ‘Marriage is a partnership.’ tattoos.
Oh, this reminds me of Slings and Arrows where they cast a movie actor as Hamlet to get teenage girls to come to the play. Considering that Paul was also in Slings and Arrows that seems fitting.
<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/84525926"><strong>Ice Cream Supreme (Fanart)</strong></a> (0 words) by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/look_turtles"><strong>look_turtles</strong></a><br />Chapters: 1/1<br />Fandom: <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Gotham%20(TV)">Gotham (TV)</a><br />Rating: General Audiences<br />Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply<br />Characters: Edward Nygma, Martin (Gotham TV)<br />Series: Part 13 of <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/series/904335">The Misadventures of SnEd and PengWald</a><br />Summary: <p>Snake!Ed takes Purple Martin!Martin out for ice cream and vastly underestimated the size of The Ice Cream Supreme</p>
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