The Village Witch @lovelylittleleeches - Tumblr Blog

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roboco-san

what really gets me about ace-attorney-sexy-clown.gif is the suspender snap. that has to hurt. why is she doing that

good-ol-ben-kenobi

OK...... WHAT?

roboco-san

de-sterren-nacht

oh! those arent her real tits, theyre balloons! theres a gif of her tits popping when you catch her in a lie

roboco-san

holy shit

hawwwlucha

isn't she a murderer in that case she's in?

smutav

liquid-geodes

Bitch what the fuck-

skaiandestiny

That’s not even her real hair.

skiplo-wave

Same energy

world-heritage-posts

world heritage post

janasojka

Self portrait, October 2018

meynadyer

everythingfox

It’s a tortoise ON A TORTOISE

memeuplift

pileofknives

"I bet it doesn't hurt that bad, I don't have time for this shit."

ampersandvich

"at least one"

sexhaver

now this is a gender binary i can get behind

carnival-phantasm

Very generous of them to describe it as the "Thinking Period"

retiredmahoushoujo

They correctly excluded the outlier Electroshocks Georg

showings

“To be Christlike in the later Middle Ages is to be both transcendent and disfigured, both holy and abject.”

— Lewis Wallace | Bearded Woman, Female Christ: Gendered Transformations in the Legends and Cult of Saint Wilgefortis

the-stray-liger

Instead of making up shitty racist headcanons about Miles shoplifting join me in headcanoning him picking up ballet because he thought Gwen being a ballerina was super neat and it would help him in his spiderman job

beefybluewerewolf

dracophile

Spider strength he can’t control + Lifts = Hilarity

aethersea

Miles, muttering to himself: do not yeet the ballerina. do NOT yeet the ballerina

thatgirlonstage

Jumps. JUMPS.

Miles frantically googling “How high can normal people jump??? How high can ballerinas jump?????? I don’t think I’m supposed to be able to jump straight up to the ceiling and also I keep getting stuck up there please help”

phantoms-lair

Once Mile’s spider sense pinged lightly about a balcony set and he told the crew master he had a bad feeling about it. The balcony collapsed later. No one was hurt, but now Miles has to go over sets and pronounce them clear of ‘bad feelings’

He’s not even good enough to be in shows yet, but nothing goes out without his seal of approval

firebirdeternal

honestly I have known so many stage managers and props department people who are Exactly This Superstitious. (And hell, in this case they’re not even wrong he literally has magic danger powers)

I’ve also known a few dancers, and without exception the reaction to finding out this boy can effortlessly hold them in a single arm lift or YEET them dozens of feet in the air (And catch them after!) would be PURE GLEE.

crazy-pages

“Okay, Glynda, look, we all know he’s Spiderman. Kid’s terrible at hiding it. But imagine this. None of us tell him we know and none of us tell him how high ballerinas can really throw their partners. And each class we just keep on pretending like we’re impressed with how fast he’s improving but, y'know, he’s still got further to go.”

“Uhuh, yeah, I see that look in your eyes Glynda. You know exactly where I’m going with this. How high do you think Spiderman can throw you?”

“Okay, Glynda, stop giggling, the giggling is creepy. Dessie, please make her stop giggling.”

silver-thyla

This is wonderful

starstruckmyths

One day, in the middle of ballet class, there was a robbery going on a block away, so of course Miles’ gotta rush over there to help out. He grabs his mask, but doesn’t have time to put on his whole suit because he said he was going to the bathroom and it’s be weird if he was gone for so long.

Cue Spider-Man kicking ass in pink ballet shoes and leggings.

This actually increased his popularity severely, and lots of people suddenly gained the interest in ballet; boys too, because if someone as cool as Spider-Man does it, everyone can do it.

When he’s back the instructors don’t comment on the rip in his shirt, the dirt on his shoes, or the smear of paint on his leggings. They make sure to treat the class afterwards. After all, it’s not every day that Spider-Man stops a bunch of bankrobbers and manages to do a high pirouette without crashing through the ceiling this time!

janedrewfinally

This keeps getting better!

dakotafinely

Someone: *Attempts to comment on how weird it is that Miles can throw Glenda high enough she can touch the roof with her palm*

The Stage Manager:

unashamedly-enthusiastic

Ballet companies starting rumours that Spiderman doesn’t actually has super powers, he’s just classically trained

You too could scale buildings if you would just practice regularly and focus on your core

thenerv3s

how to live life like a ghibli film

1. go out in nature more. every studio ghibli film has some aspect of nature intertwined with the storyline. sometimes its hard to get the energy to go outside, but just going out on your deck or opening the window in your room or taking a walk around the block is enough. if you feel like it, go for a hike! go into the woods and look at every flower, and every tree. look at the mushrooms and streams and notice the beauty of them. look at nature like you’ve never seen it before. wake up at 4 and watch the sunset. put plants around your room. realize how beautiful the world is around you. appreciate it.

2. get a hobby! this step is certainly easier said than done, but its so worth it. struggling with mental illness makes it especially hard to get a hobby, but its very important that you don’t spend the majority of your time on social media. Start small. If you want to start drawing get a coloring book and fill in a picture with beautiful markers! If you want to write find a random prompt online, give yourself 30 minutes and see what you can come up with. Want to try baking? Start with an easy recipe, like chocolate chip cookies, and share them with your family or friends, or just yourself! Try out a bunch of hobbies, and see what you like best. Maybe you like making jewelry or writing poems or creating digital collages or making video edits or decorating your room or riding a bike or sewing or reading. The possibilities are endless, and getting a hobby you enjoy is very important, and fun.

3. start appreciating small things and noticing details. I don’t know how to explain this step, but in studio Ghibli films, small things always stick out. There are beautiful tiny details that make the story so much more magnificent. small details make the studio Ghibli films what they are. maybe on your way to school/work the sky was a really pretty color. Or the tea you made in the morning was perfectly steeped. appreciate small details of life that you don’t normally notice.

4. appreciate food. Pay attention to your food. If you can, try and make/bake your own food! But if you can’t, just be mindful of your food. Try not to eat while you’re on your phone. Dedicate times to just eating. Appreciating the food in front of you. Make yourself the ponyo drink with milk and honey, or ponyo ramen! Make yourself your own blend of tea like the Baron!

5. be kind and help others. Being kind doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, it can be smiling and waving at a baby in a café, or helping your mom finish the dishes, or paying for a friend’s coffee. Small gestures not only put good out into the world, but they also make you feel better. When you can, help others. Try volunteering at an animal shelter, or babysit for your aunt without charging her, or just listen to your friend when they’re going through something and be there for them. In every Ghibli film, the main character is always helping others, and being kind. Try to be like kiki, when she returned the pacifier to the mother who forgot it, or like chizuru from the cat returns, who risks her life to save a cat. Kindness comes in all shapes and forms, so just try your best to do what you can!

6. be your most authentic self. Stay true to who you are. dress how you’d like. Cut your hair like you’ve always wanted to. Stay confident and true to yourself. We all feel insecure sometimes, but we need to remind ourselves that we are great. Don’t try and force yourself to be someone you aren’t. Kiki felt insecure in her abilities as a witch, but she stayed true to herself, and believed in herself, and it paid off. Love and appreciate yourself, just the way you are.

7. (not really a tip but a fun suggestion) start collecting something! This is just an extra step that I wanted to include because I think its nice. But start a collection of things that interest you. It could be anything! Candles, stamps, teacups, antique figurines, 19th century photos, lip balms, books, key chains, flowers, hats. The choices are endless.

thatdoodlebug

i love robins because they are feather orbs:

thank you for looking at feather orbs

perseruna

don’t you just hate it when blood gets on your gucci sandals

modelsof-color

Aweng Chuol by Campbell Addy for Re Edition Magazine - FW 2020

photophoros

The first set of Arizona Drink Dragons! Peach tea, green tea, grapeade, and lemon tea!

secifosseluce

as much as the concept of Jesus being a fairly normal lad has its charms, im personally very intrigued by the idea of him being just… extremely weird. not even in a mystical sense, just…….staggeringly BIZZARRE.

you go to the well to get some water, and here’s Miriam’s boy, staring at the sky, completely still. his expression is unreadable. you hazard a hello and ask how he’s doing, and he slowly, unblinkingly, lowers his gaze on you (he’s 8 and is missing his frontal teeth, not that this is making you any less uncomfortable) and says “I cannot speak of the state of my being, Nathan son of Saul, my brother, but rejoice for the water you shall take today will be as pure as the soul of the children of Heaven”

…you start sweating

secifosseluce

normal person in 1st century Nazareth: making my way downtown, walking fast

*sees J boy, 8 yo, staring at you from across the street*

normal person: walking faster

secifosseluce

even funnier, the only person 100% on board with his Prophetic Kid Talk is his mother Miriam, an otherwise placid, absolutely normal woman around 25 or so

kid JC, coming home at twilight, a single white dove following him and chirping with weirdly human-like precision:

moth̫́er,̦͌ ̮̉i h͙̉av͔̽e ͓͗b̘̃r̞̓o̮͘u̲̒gh̟͒t̺́ you a do̗͐ṽ͙e̢͘ ͈̾m͒͢a͈̽dē̝ ỏ̘f ͈̓c̆͜l͔̂aỷ͇ aṋ̑d̳̿ g͢͞i̹̾fted̖͡ ̻͐it ͓͂w̖̿it̎͜h t̥̃h͙͒e ̨̒m̧̂i̡̍ŗ͒â̫cḷ̔è̤ ̛̻of̞̅ l̘̈i̛̦fè̳

Miriam: ! that’s my little boy :) now let’s go get ready for dinner :)

her husband Yosef, a carpenter who only marginally got signed up for this:

bargains-by-duckface

This post is so Christian, but it’s the spicy kind of Christian that gets you murdered by other Christians for heresy, so I’m torn.

secifosseluce

literally biggest form of compliment i’ve ever gotten

moonsterm

that means the angels are babysitters then

moonsterm

here have more

patricia-von-arundel

You guys really need to read Christopher Moore’s Lamb, if you haven’t.

frikinnerd

Always reblog Cryptid Jesus

moonsterm

I made more. cause it’s fun

crap-copper

I love that you guys used their actual names

roane72

I did not consider Eldritch Baby Jesus.

injuries-in-dust

I did not consider that the modern form of Yeshua is Joshua, meaning our lord and saviour can be referred to as Josh!

connormystic

@lucifer-in-my-head

night-dragon937

i love this so much @genesiscaveat

aeoliantectrix

This is the only Christianity I consider valid.

Also it’s canon that my boy Josh got left behind on accident when his tribe went to visit the temple at Jerusalem when he was like, eleven because travelling as a tribe means you’ve got loads of kids underfoot and it’s hard to notice just one; but it’s way funnier to think that maybe they were just like, “hey Miriam’s weird ass kid isn’t here.” “Yeah, but do you wanna be the one that has to go find him and have him focused on you?” “Yeah that’s fair. I’m sure he’ll be fine anyway, that kid has crazy luck.” and then just, left him there.

He snuck away from the rest of the kids to go teach the rabbis and apparently the rabbis were just like hell yeah this kid knows shit and when Miriam realized that JC wasn’t just sleeping over with a friend and made the whole tribe go back for him three days later they found the rabbis all hanging off his every word.

(His crazy luck is actually the angel babysitters that most people can’t see, all they notice is the 6 year old who pets scorpions and fell off the roof once but didn’t even get a bruise.)

injuries-in-dust

Lets not forget all the crazy stuff that got left out of the bible.

Like baby Josh taming a couple of dragons.

According to the Gospel of Pseudo-Matthew, Mary and Joseph, and a few others in a travelling group tried to hide in a cave, only to find that it was full of massive, fire-breathing dragons.

That didn’t bother the one-month-old Baby Jesus, though. Jesus hopped down from his mother’s arms, walked over to the dragons, and stared them down until they “retired.” Then Infant Jesus turned to his terrified mother and said, “Do not consider me to be a little child.” Because, as it turns out, even Jesus wanted his mom to stop babying him.