Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"
“Ilya, what is this?” Shane says with a laugh. “It’s not my birthday.”
They’ve been celebrating Ilya all weekend. Shane made sure of that. First, Svetlana flew into town for dinner and drinks and dancing, and Ilya came home to Shane giddy and drunk on champagne. The next night was a low-key dinner at Yuna and David’s. David grilled steaks, Ilya won two hands of gin rummy, and at the end of the night, Shane’s cheeks hurt from smiling. And now it's the day Shane’s carved out for just the two of them. He’s made it clear to anyone who needs to know that he and Ilya will be off the grid. Incommunicado. Do not disturb.
Except now Ilya’s not following Shane’s plan. Shane’s cleared away Ilya’s breakfast in bed, but Ilya’s not grabbing him and pulling him in for a kiss, or sliding a hand into Shane’s boxers to find where he’s stretched and open and ready for him. No, instead he’s turning away from Shane to reach into his bedside table and take out a small blue bag stuffed with tissue paper. Ilya presents it to Shane with a flourish and a glint in his eye. Inside the bag, Shane finds a nondescript box. And when Shane opens the box, bright metal shines back at him.
“Ilya,” Shane says. His mouth feels dry around the word. His heart is pounding in his ears. “This is a, um—”
“A cock cage, yes.”
“Is it…is it for you?” Shane knows it’s not.
Ilya chuckles. “No, moya lyubov."
“But I don’t…why?” Shane asks with a frown. Ilya loves Shane’s cock. After all these years, Shane is sure of that. He loves how it looks, how it tastes, how it twitches and drips in his hand, in his mouth, without even being touched. Shane looks at the cage and thinks about losing that, about not being able to give that to Ilya, and he’s not scared, he’s not, it’s just—
“Shane, sweetheart. Look at me, Shane.” Ilya’s voice is as firm as the hand on Shane’s chin, and Shane meets his eyes eagerly. He feels a bit lost, needs Ilya to find him and show him the way. Ilya’s eyes are warm and unyielding. He picks up the cage and dangles in front of Shane’s face.
“Read it, moya lyubov.”
Once it’s out of the box, Shane gets a better look. It really is beautiful. The shaft is all filigree metal, twisting and curling toward the tip, but interrupted over halfway down by a solid arching band that reads—
“Property of Ilya Rozanov,” Shane murmurs, barely a whisper. His whole body feels cold, then hot.
“Is true, yes?” Ilya says softly.
“Ilya,” and then Shane’s kissing him, open-mouthed and needy, and of course Ilya kisses him back, but he’s pulling back too soon, pressing gentle pecks to Shane’s mouth instead of taking him deeper. Shane whines and tries to pull him back in.
“Shhh, malysh, listen,” Ilya says, running soothing hands over Shane’s chest, the back of his neck. “You have to be soft for me to put it on, sweetheart.” His eyes flick down to where Shane’s started to chub up from a few quick kisses. “You will wear it for me, yes?”
Shane takes a steadying breath. “Yes, Ilya.”
“Good boy.”
It takes a few minutes for Shane to calm down enough to fit inside the cage. Ilya is all patience. He keeps Shane tucked into his neck and runs gentle hands along Shane’s back until his breath evens out and he goes soft all over. With quick fingers, he slips the cage over Shane’s cock and locks it into place. Shane’s pulse jumps as the click echoes in his ears.
“Look, malysh. So beautiful.”
Shane lifts his head from his hiding place in Ilya’s neck. Ilya’s hand looks huge next to his caged cock. Shane almost feels like he shouldn’t be looking, like it’s not his to look at anymore. The fit is snug but comfortable. From this angle, he can’t miss Ilya’s name stamped across the top. Shane twitches inside the cage.
“Beautiful,” Shane echoes. It’s true, if inadequate.
“Hmm, yes. Such a good gift for me.” Ilya teases his fingers along the metal swirls. Shane doesn’t know what to do. Ilya’s hand is on him, but he can hardly feel it. All he knows is firm metal around his cock, and Ilya. His name swims in front of Shane’s eyes and in his mind, Ilya Ilya Ilya. Shane whines and hides in Ilya’s neck again. Ilya’s answering chuckle rumbles in his chest.
“No, no, sweetheart. Like this,” and then Ilya’s moving him just where he wants, head buried in the pillows, ass up and on display. From this position, the cage is a persistent tug on his cock that makes Shane whimper. Ilya answers with a groan, “So, so beautiful.”
Shane knows Ilya’s close by, but his voice sounds far away. He thinks about how he must look to him, spread out and shaking, a caged cock hanging heavy between his thighs. His morning preparation is a distant memory until Ilya’s fingers find his hole, stretched open and ready for his cock. “Oh, such a good boy,” Ilya coos.
“S’for you, Ilya,” Shane has trouble forming the words, but he needs Ilya to know. He did have a plan.
“Yeah? Got all stretched open for me, huh?” Shane registers the question but can’t find his voice to give an answer. He pushes his hips back instead, trying to fuck himself on Ilya’s searching fingers. The heavy cage resists the movement, and the answering pull makes Shane’s cock pulse.
“Poor baby. This hungry hole’s been waiting all morning.” Shane whines and nods into the pillow. Without warning, Ilya spreads him open and licks into him with a groan. Shane might just die. His face is so hot, and his cock is so hard. Or he thinks it is. The cage is a tight, hot pressure wrapped around him, and Ilya’s tongue is a wet, hot pressure against his rim. Shane’s heart is pounding in his cock and his chest and his ears. It's so loud he almost misses the words tumbling from Ilya’s mouth.
“Christ, you look so good, sweetheart. Got this cock all wrapped up for me, yeah? Keeping it so safe and locked up for me. Do you want me to touch it?” The words make tears prick in Shane’s eyes. He tries and fails to speak around the lump in his throat. Ilya gives the cage a small tug. “Answer me, Shane.”
Shane draws in a shuddering breath. “Don’t—don’t want to choose. It’s not my cock, Ilya. S’yours.” He swallows hard as his tears start to fall.
“Oh baby, you’re so good. Thank you.” Ilya says, and then his hands are tight on Shane’s hips and he’s pushing in, deep and hard and perfect. Shane melts into the mattress as Ilya fucks him. It’s a relief to have something to clench around. He’s desperate for a distraction from the unforgiving metal wrapped around his cock. Ilya holds nothing back. Shane feels him all the way down to his toes. Heat spreads from his balls to his cock and up into his stomach. It pushes more tears from his eyes, makes him cry out into the pillow beneath him.
Shane doesn’t understand what his body is doing. Distantly, he knows that if the cage weren't there, he would have come already. As it is, every fuck of Ilya’s hips jostles his caged cock, sending delicious aching shockwaves of pleasure throughout his body. His stomach and balls clench tighter and tighter as Ilya pounds his prostate on each stroke. All he can do is shake and sob and clench around Ilya’s cock.
“Yeah, yeah, fucking hell, sweetheart. Gonna make you come, yeah?” Shane cries out at the thought. He can’t, he can’t. There’s no room, no space for him to let go in the confines of the cage. He’s helpless, trapped between the unrelenting pressure of the metal wrapped around him and Ilya fucking into him. For a wild moment he thinks he might never come again. Still, Ilya doesn’t let up.
“C’mon, I know you can give it to me. It’s my cock, yes? My cock and my choice, and I want to see it come. Be a good boy and let me have it, malysh.” And then Ilya’s pressing him even harder into the mattress, his hand tight on the back of Shane’s neck, and Shane’s body is burning, so hot it must be able to melt the metal. There’s no other way to explain the heat that washes over his cock as he lets go with a shout.
When Shane comes to, he's wrapped in Ilya’s arms, Ilya's voice in his ear telling him how lovely and good he is, how proud Ilya feels. He opens his eyes as Ilya asks, “How do you feel, sweetheart?”
Shane’s not sure how to answer. Sore. Wrung out. Remade. Instead, he burrows into Ilya’s shoulder and says, “Ilya, holy shit. How did you know I could—”
“Come while wearing that?” He gestures to the cock cage sitting innocently on their bedside table. “It’s my birthday,” he says simply. “I knew you’d give me whatever I asked for.”
What do you think about the terms erotica and smut? I personally enjoy using the term smut. I feel like erotica has become like "elevated horror." What are your thoughts?
I'll be honest, I don't have much to say here. I think I tend to refer to erotica more if I'm talking to someone irl (and just in general). I think they're loosely interchangeable but I do tend to think of it more as erotica is a story about something else with sexual elements and smut is a story where the sexual elements are the primary point. Just my thoughts though!
Hi! Hope you don't mind I'm back with another trope for grading! (Actually two, because I'm a very curious person)
- All human AUs
- Body Swap
Of course!!
All human AUs are a D for me in fandoms where there's established supernatural context. I don't haaaaaaaaaate it, I've read several over the years that are beautifully well-written, but I won't ever seek it out. It feels to me like it can strip some elements of the story and who the characters are away.
Body swap is a B! Very fun for antics and hijinks but also great for perspective (literally putting a character in another character's shoes). Not something I necessarily seek out heavily but I enjoy it when I read it a lot!
i think its so CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY shane has been forced to be bigger than he wants to be bc of all of his strife and obstacles he cant afford to seem weak or small so he has to be Strong and Big and ilya gives him a space to let that go and be small and let things happen to him and not force his strength. and ILYA has been fucking shut down and humiliated and dominated by his father and brother made Smaller than he wants to be but he cant be big to them and he can be biggEr in hockey but hes still put down abt it by his family and haters constantly and SHANE!!!! shane my god shane gives him a space to be big and be Unquestionably big and for someone to love him while hes being big and mean and dominating and hes never gotten that before. lets all live theyre literally perfect for each other theyre the oasis in a desert for each other for BOTH of them ilyas the only one for shane and shanes the only one for ilya too.
I'm going to give fake relationships a B- (I was debating between B and C). When well executed it's a trope I absolutely love, however it can blur the lines so heavily and if it leans too far into miscommunication (to the point where it feels like one or both of them have to be deliberately obtuse and overly stubborn about it) it can take the enjoyment out of it for me, even if I'll still finish it most of the time.
Oh an absolute A! Bonus points for additions like: putting pillows down the center of the bed this is MY side that is YOUR side cut to them waking up cuddling, take the bed no YOU take the bed NO YOU TAKE THE BED, full pajamas vs 'I sleep naked you're lucky I'm keeping my underwear on', etc. A beautiful springboard of a trope to so much delight!
C! Not something that initially attracts me to a story. I've read some incredible fic with this trope that's been handled really well, but I do have to say that the handling of it in any way that I don't enjoy is a quick back button for me.
I also answered for mutual pining (A++++++ I eat that shit up) and had forced proximity as a B (it's up there but not top top tier).
For sex pollen/aliens made them do it, I'm going to go with a B as well. There's a lot to be said about dubcon that I'm a big fan of, but I can be weary of it if only because sometimes I think it leads to a lot of OOC action/dialogue, where the interesting part to me is how those characters react to each other and the outside force (sex pollen/aliens/etc.)
Accidental marriage is an A to me! So much humorous potential and it gets funnier to me the further they are from getting married (just barely dating, strangers, maybe they hate each other, etc.) it's a ton of fun with so many ways for it to play out. Also I looooove scenes in fic with this trope where they have to explain themselves to their loved ones. Comedy gold!
B! Not my absolute favorite thing of all time, but I'm definitely a fan of it. There's something really fantastic about people who were SO sure that they couldn't get along either finding common ground OR (and in my opinion this is much more fun) starting to find the irritants/differences/what have you that they had about each other incredibly endearing. The transition of using the same/similar insults to when they maybe didn't get along to be fond...that's the good shit.
