mace-enthusiast

boo 🏳️‍⚧️

[aw-dag]

You know every show that the premise is like “people find out ghosts/monsters/demons are real and are charged with stopping them” appeal to me way more now as a post-graduate not because I believe in ghosts more or whatever but because can you IMAGINE just being handed a job that you don’t even need to apply for? Like just being told “basically there’s this bad thing and all you do is make sure it doesn’t do what it wants” that’s just customer service baby and I worked that for 6 goddamn years! Just TRY getting past “I have a job to offer you” before I can jump down your throat agreeing.

[aw-dag]

some idiot with a dumb ghost-hunting name who joined the Cause because they love the paranormal: oh fuck oh shit this is really scary guys I’m having second thoughts

me, who knows that if we run away I have to apply to like, a real actual Jobbe again: wakey wakey demons it’s this or retail so guess who’s got nothing to lose

[meret118]

[universeleads]

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

[universeleads]

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

[overwhelmedfernfrond]

I explained the “x before gta6” meme to my immigrant father and he, in turn, explained to me how back in his day in Romania, they had the same type of joke, except instead of it being gta6, it was about the imminent death of a singer named Gică Petrescu, who everyone was continuously shocked by because he refused to die. Every time a momentous event happened people would say, in essence: “This happened and Gică Petrescu hasn’t even died yet?!?”

So. He understood the gta6 meme immediately because they apparently had the same thing in Romania when he was young, except way, way more morbid

[venort]

OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6

[endy-merimo]

i just think it would be so funny to see Grace terrified of The Mechanisms

[mace-enthusiast]

RAGHHH

[passumbapper]

it's almost summer do you guys want my stupid hyperoptimized lemonade recipe that takes half a day to make and whips absolute ass

[passumbapper]

Fruited Lemonade That Makes You Reconsider It All

ingredience:

lemons/limes (this needs to make up the bulk of the fruit being used, like at least 80%)

whatever other fruits or fruit scraps you want, plus any herbs/other flavorings you want to try. by fruit scraps I mean things like cherry pits, apple peels, pineapple cores, strawberry ends, things like that.

granulated white sugar, the coarser the better, 50% by weight of total citrus rinds + 100% by weight of any additional fruit. you'll measure this after you prep the fruit.

water as needed

equipment:

a few nonmetallic mixing bowls

a mesh strainer

a chinoise, ricer or some cheesecloth

a kitchen scale

a citrus juicer or reamer (manual or electric)

a potato masher

juice the citrus through a strainer - saving all rinds -  and refrigerate the juice for the time being. dice the rinds and other fruits if any, keeping the rinds separate. make note of weights, and measure your sugar.

 Place sugar in a large nonmetallic bowl. If using non-citrus fruits and/or any other flavorings, mix them in with the sugar and mash with potato masher. add diced citrus rinds, mix thoroughly, and mash again. cover and let stand at room temperature for at least 4 hours. this allows the sugar to draw out flavors that would otherwise get discarded with the rinds, and the rinds' acids should be enough to dissolve the sugar into a syrup.

Afterward, mash one last time, then collect the syrup by pressing the macerated mixture through a strainer/chinoise or ricer, or squeeze it through cheesecloth. if you want, this can be saved as a standalone syrup at this point, for use in cocktails or desserts. if not, slowly pour the reserved juice through the solids to to help get the remaining syrup out, and squeeze/press again. do the same thing one more time with warm water (roughly the same amount of water as juice). discard solids (or try making sangria with them!).

taste the mixture and add more water if necessary. a stronger mix is totally fine if you anticipate serving over ice on a hot day, or adding booze, or if there was a lot of non-sour fruit. keep in mind that it will taste a bit less sweet once it's chilled. pour into a pitcher and refrigerate.

citrus oils will float to the top, so stir/shake before serving. love you. enjoy.

some tried and true flavor combos:

straight lemon or lime, or any combination of the two, is of course an untouchable classic

lemon & strawberries (that's pussy babe!)

lemon & orange with a hint of vanilla (creamsiclemonade...?)

lemon & apples or apple peels with cinnamon/ginger/allspice (for late summer)

some cocktail type combos, booze optional:

lemon or lime & berries with basil + gin

lime & mint + white rum

lime & ginger + dark rum

lime & cucumber + gin

lime & orange (berries optional) + tequila

lemon, orange & cherry + brandy, bourbon, or rye whiskey

[madgastronomer]

holy gods

[bird-brainz]

"draw your faves with your problems" okay here's jonny d'ville with a load of wet clothes ready to go in the dryer and all the dryers in his building are in use

[mace-enthusiast]

I was gonna say “ouhh I should draw Jonny trying to lower his heart rate” but uh. well. your honor he doesn’t exactly have one

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Hey dude, sorry, you must get a billions asks like these, but I’m 21 and very much lost, and I don’t know what the hell im doing with my life and how I can stop being so static. Is it fucking over for me man??

Absolutely not over! No one has their shit figured out in their 20s, and you may very well end up being a dozen different people before you are 30. (I myself had 2 major breakdowns during those years. I also made the decision to transition, too, which was one of the best things I could have done for myself.)

Sounds like you either haven't found something that captures your interest hobby or work-wise, or there is something you want to do, but inertia or something else is in the way.

I had a shitty job in my 20s, but work isn't something I truly regret from those years. If I had to do it all over again, I'd:

Make being active a regular part of my life -- being in nature, jogging, even some kind of sport

Get off the computer when it felt like a chore. A lot of my video games and web browsing were just time sinks and increasingly felt like some kind of weird job.

Experiment more with hobbies and not be afraid of being bad at something for a while. I wish I picked up sewing earlier, or another instrument, or spent more time drawing.

Overall, just enjoy what I *did* have, even with my limited income. I had local parks, books to read, free events to go to, board games to play with friends, and so many crafts to try.

Of course, I'd also transition earlier, ha ha. But that is also part of a bigger theme of prioritizing my happiness, not being afraid of being messy or weird, and doing small things I had access to in order to get to know myself better, and perhaps build some positive habits.

Teens and 20s kind of suck. You're gaining agency, but don't have the resources yet to jump ahead in life. That's going to take time, and one of the best things you can do right now is get out of your comfort zone and see where your curiosity takes you.

So, maybe see what's going on locally on your next free day. Go to a pride festival, or a farmer's market, an art show, a library sale, a community walk, etc. Have a little adventure of some sort to wake your brain and mood up.

Curiosity is one of the most important qualities in happy and successful people, but you gotta feed it all the time. All the other stuff will come if you're curious, persistent, and not afraid of the occasional fuckup.

[wykart]

what do you mean my disability disables my abilities? what the fuck

[wreegis]

a quick fancy raph

[mace-enthusiast]

she’s drawn SO beautifully here I love!! Raphaella La Cognizi my beloved

[great-tweets]

We just knew.

[awed-frog]

As a reminder, this is what she looks like:

[yougetsomekisses]

[larkiethings]

Also I hope everyone knows that Miette was fostered before she was adopted, and her foster mom loved that little kitten so much and always hoped she’d gone to a good home. this tweet got so popular that she recognized Miette and reached out to her current mom, and was able to share previously unseen baby pictures

[darthmelyanna]

You mean, she saw Miette was kicked like the football and did nothing to help put Mother in jail for a thousand years? I am appalled.

[tigerses]

her!!!

[madeofstarsandfairylights]

Baby Miette!!!

[ottermatopoeia]

Babe wake up new Miette lore just dropped

[devil-with-three-heads]

IT’S MIETTE!!!!

[byjove]

knight boyfriend that keeps asking you if you’d love him if he was a wyrm

[mispelled]

High Noon over Camelot character designs!

Some notes:

The only one with real actual humans! Maybe! Who knows. No one said the space station came from earth. Also, not pictured here because unfortunately we don’t have a Saxon main character aside from Mordred, who spends the majority of the show topside, but I very strongly feel that the Saxons wear gas masks. Just wanted to get that out there.

Music inspo: obviously this one is cowboys. I don’t even have to say it. I did try to be a little realistic, specifically with where their clothing comes from, so most of the armor is meant to be scrounged scrap metal. Another thing to remember is that they’re actually bikers, so it was a lot to balance.

The fashion style is meant to be a mix of 830 (King Arthur) and 1700s (western theme).

OUATIS

UDAD

TBI

[mace-enthusiast]

these are so sick!

[burins]

thinking fondly of this meme I made for a coworker years and years ago

[burins]

this is going around again and the tags are full of people talking about printing it out to put in their breakroom or cubicle or sending it to their coworkers, which fills me with great joy. vast diversity of professions represented also. zoos. labs. summer camps. restaurants. garden centers. libraries. schools. many reports from the brave warriors of assorted retail. a truth universally acknowledged: if there is a sign a customer will not read it <3 and they don't read emails either <3

[mace-enthusiast]

duuuude. art studios at colleges/ any that are public or have classes is BIG on this. sink that says in big red letters that says DO NOT PUT CLAY IN HERE and guess where clay ends up. or how there’s ALWAYS someone who’s like “bahh where’s the tools” when there is a Tool Cabinet labeled “TOOLS”. might have my studio tech buddy put these up

[necromancelena]

Die temu ad die

[necromancelena]

Hmm. Accidentally looks like latin.

[chef-boy-ar-girl]

It accidentally is latin

[saanah]

Accidental latin is my new favourite thing.

[santapau]

Found this in the margins of a medieval manuscript.

[qqueenofhades]

This is a very charming illustration and I do approve of Accidental Latin, but unfortunately, that is not what this (Fake) Accidental Latin actually says. Google Translate seems to think "temu" is identical to "timor" (infinitive, "to fear"), which would then be conjugated in first-person singular as "timeo" ("I fear"). "Temu" is not a word in Latin. So that is a very weird leap on Google Translate's part to turn gibberish into... something vaguely etymologically similar sounding? Hmm.

Next, "die" does mean "day," though nominative singular is "dies," i.e. "dies irae." It could be conjugated "die" if it was in ablative or locative case, but "die ad die" would mean something more like "day to day." "Ad" is in a "to" direction and "ab" is from, i.e. "ab urbis," and ablative case is used to indicate the movement of a thing. In short, "by" is not really a way to translate "ad"; we might want "per" here? (Through, by means of, etc.)

Not to mention, it would be weird to put one "die" at the start and another at the end The verb also usually goes at the end in Latin sentences, just for that extra bit of fun. So yes, in short, this is not actually Latin, and Google Translate is very bad at Latin in particular. Nonetheless, still charming.

[nudistcat]

@theshitpostcalligrapher

[sekkitsune]

Agree, @qqueenofhades, except on the matter of breaking “die ad die” apart. It’s a common structure in poetic and oratorical Latin to jam one phrase in the middle of another. I can’t think of an example exactly parallel to this construction, but I could believe a Roman poet would write it!

[qqueenofhades]

Ah, that is true. My Latin is of the reading-medieval-documents (particularly charters and/or chronicles) variety, where the sentence and usage structures are often more formulaic and there is less poetic license to move words around. There is obviously far less fixity for word order in Latin, since the conjugations explain how they grammatically relate to each other rather than placement in the sentence. (Coincidentally, this is why I used to say that the best feeling in the world was walking past a Latin classroom and not having to go inside it. Ahem.)

So yes: true that poetical Latin might be more at liberty to split the "die"-s up that far, though "timeo" (verb) is still more likely in most cases to go at the end, which would place them together anyway ("die ad die timeo," "day to day I fear" if translated in strict word order, which would make sense to an English speaker and sound more poetic anyway). Keep in mind, however, that my Latin is a) fairly rusty and b) mostly used for said formulaic legal document reading rather than freeform verse, so don't super-hard quote me on this.

[sekkitsune]

I saw that ablative “die” and that final -u on “temu” and thought of the ablative supine (as in “mirabile dictu”) but as you observe, there isn’t a verb that “temu” could be, and then also, the ablative supine requires an adjective, as far as I know.

But perhaps “temu” is a hapax legomenon (in which case we would need the rest of the text to gloss it) or a scribal error for temeratu, from temero, “I defile or disgrace”. In that case, and in true Tumblr form, I might translate it as “daily I disgrace, in the manner of the day”, with some errors attributable to the scribe.

[qqueenofhades]

....oh my god. You might be a genius. Because what else does Tumblr do but daily disgrace [itself, oneself, and/or numerous others] in the manner of the day, and make numerous scribal errors.

[laurenthemself]

how dare you say we error on the scribes

[jtimu]

this is what happens when you buy your latin on temu

[unravy]

UPDATE: TYSM for the HUGE amount of love on this and since a few requested I do have prints of these! You can find them here: https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/unravy/  ❤

“Obviously, I’m going to tell you if I see any good cows.”

vs

“I open the door!”

these two are a two pieces sequence drawings, but made a year apart lmao

[leaslichoma]

Apparently in China peach wood (Along with the rest of the plant) is believed to have properties that repel evil spirits, a little similar to silver in European legends or iron for both European fae and West Asian/Middle eastern Jinn. Taoists sometimes keep swords made of peach wood because of this. This made me realize something. If you took a peach wood stick, and attached studs to it of both silver and iron you'd end up with a club or staff (or mace, flail etc.) that would have the weaknesses of many kinds of supernatural creatures while still retaining effectiveness as a normal weapon (peach is a hardwood and silver's poor edge retention doesn't matter for studs). You could even keep adding new stud materials to get something ridiculous that affects over 120 catalogued folkloric monsters. Since you just need a few little studs you could even get some really expensive materials like meteoric iron (a thumb tip sized meteorite can still cost like 10-20 bucks I think). I could somewhat feasibly make a weapon that affects every monster ever thought to walk the earth, from vampires and werewolves to jinn and jiangshi and even mankind.

[mace-enthusiast]

I’ve realized that I, the mace enthusiast, have not reblogged a mace post. this must be fixed

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

[dreaming-shark]

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

[ailithnight]

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

[chequerootlurks]

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

[thatdisasterauthor]

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

[swindle94]

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

[fromchaostocosmos]

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

[terulakimban]

Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna. 

A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted. 

[midrashic]

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

[kriladoodles]

I do wonder how lesbian/bisexual lumberjack-mimickry fits into this

[marablake]

I can say as a former craft store worker that if you wish to see true fear, look into the eyes of a Dad who must venture into a craft store. Despite the overlap of familiar beings known to him from his native hardware store habitat, Dads are instinctively aware that craft stores are not for them; they contain unfamiliar perils and even the seemingly familiar may have strange variances and unnerving secrets. (”Why is this airbrush so small? What do you mean nails, why would you… WUT!!”)

Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts, Models, or Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.

Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited for megafauna such as themselves.

Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbians’ temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.

Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.

The only truly invasive species that threaten craft stores are Brides-to-Be, who are mere annoyances individually, but like locusts may descend in hordes and lay waste, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Fortunately for the Craft Ladies, Brides-to-Be are seasonal and usually only a threat in the spring and early summer.

[link-the-feral-anon]

It Got Better

[fireflyfish]

Is anybody going to address the newly invasive species of BuJo enthusiasts into the craft store/art supply store environment? Why aren’t we talking about the dangerous proliferation of Leuchtturm 1917s and the growing threat of Dotted Moleskins? I had to liberate a Dad from a tangle of washi tape in the art supply store the other day and it wasn’t pretty.

[rpendleton]

The natural habitat of journalers was stationary stores, which have been replaced by office supplies stores, not the same. Journalers invade the craft stores and art supplies stores to get the markers and washi tape and Sakura pens they require for survival.

[greatatuintheworldturtle]

@great-art-and-a-purple-tongue @onbearfeet THE LORE HAS BEEN UPDATED.

[onbearfeet]

VERY IMPORTANT AND ENTIRELY ACCURATE now excuse me I gotta hit Lowes and Michaels.

[gothiccharmschool]

Another thing to note is all of those habitats must adapt to the seasonal migration of goths. As soon as the faintest hint of spooky can be detected at those stores, goths will arrive in packs. A small pack of goths determined to forage can strip the shelves of a seasonal section bare in 30 minutes.

[blaisers]

Too important not to reblog

[moniquill]

I for one stand in fascinated trepidation to see how the major habitat destruction wrought by the loss of JoAnn Fabric will impact the greater ecosystem.

[aetherograph]

SCAdians can often be found in any of these environments, and while they do not necessarily travel in packs outside their native lekking grounds, they are gregarious and are not in fact one species but a colony of cordyceps-symbiotic Crafters, Goths, Dads, Lesbians, Cosplayers, etc. that are directed by the cordyceps inhabiting them to find others to pull into the “Society”. This particular symbiotic fungi, c. recreatoris, causes hosts to behave similarly to Historical Re-enactors, but SCAdians tend to create their own internally consistent timeline of events taking place in a shared world, whereas Re-enactors are a species of Museum animal.

[hasufin]

I wish to address the percasive rumors directly: the loss of JoAnn’s happened prior to and was not in any way caused by the annual Goth feeding cycle. Notwithstanding that much like cicadas and locusts, the craft store ecosystem evolved to handle and even rely on this phenomen, it simply had no relation to this unfortunate occurrence. While there remains some debate on the subject, the immediate cause seems to have been a disease which hit the elderly crafters on whom JoAnn’s relied the hardest.

The loss of the JoAnn’s feeding grounds has been devastating to the Goth population, and conservation efforts are ongoing.

[yaywebcomic]

Tried something special for the Artemis II launch. Godspeed, Artemis II!