Mëlhyan Kingsman

Previously: @hauntedcavallaro |She/Her| 28 | Self-publishing Author |

[melhyan-writes]

[𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 (𝐃𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲): 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧]

“𝙶𝙾𝙳 𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙱𝙸𝙳 𝚆𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽 𝙳𝙾 𝙰𝙽𝚈𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶.” — 𝙴𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚜, 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝙽𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚊 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚜.

About time I introduce myself to y’all (unfortunately). You’ve tolerated my yapping long enough, so here’s the lore behind the creature running this blog!

Hi, I’m Mëlhyan Kingsman (Mel for short, She/Her !)!

I’m 28 and currently studying architecture and home design/decor (second year), which means my brain is permanently occupied with floor plans, lighting, aesthetics, and why certain spaces feel comforting while others feel like a liminal nightmare. Also Sketchup is my worst nightmare but always manage to get good grades with this bad boi. And Sketchup cannot disappoint me more than men (this is a joke- kinda).

I have ADHD and I do, in fact, yap too much. My “long story short—” explanations are usually the length of a thesis. You have been warned.

I’ve been writing fanfiction since I was 13. My first ever fic was a Dr. House x Wilson story that I never posted (history will thank me for this). On paper. With an ink pen because I was not allowed to have a laptop. I’ve been sharing my writing online for about 11 years now across various platforms, started on Wattpad and then moved to AO3.

Before architecture, I studied literature and majored in art, which explains why my hobbies include basically every form of creative expression available to humankind… plus existential dread and ungodly amounts of coffee.

I also love horror, spooky things, old objects, little trinkets, and the Victorian era stuff. If it's about dusty libraries, strange curiosities, antique shops, and the general vibe of “this object might be haunted but I’m keeping it anyway”, I automatically love it.

A few additional facts about the creature behind the blog:

• I’m 5 years in SH recovery, going on 6 clean, which I’m very proud of! • I deal with various skin issues, so if that pops up in posts sometimes/or you see poems or characters in my books dealing with this, that’s why. • I make memes, write fanfics and OG stuff, and occasionally post PSAs about scammers because the internet is full of weird little pest worms trying to bother writers. • I validated my English bilingual level three times, and I speak French (maternal language), English, Latin, Spanish, Romanian, Italian, and a bit of Japanese. • I run a small Etsy shop opening soon, Soft Death Studio, where I make templates, workbooks, and resources for writers (because apparently I can’t stop making tools for storytelling).

• I am deeply and irrevocably into mythology. Greek, Roman, Egyptian: if it involves gods behaving badly and a family tree that looks like a bowl of spaghetti, I will absolutely devour the lore and then info-dump about it.

For example: I once wrote a 25+ page legal-style thesis for my Latin teacher calculating Zeus’s hypothetical child support payments for all of his mythological offspring.

Yes, it included annexes and referenced laws. Yes, I treated it like a court case. No, Zeus would not financially recover.

Soooo anyway- this blog is basically a mix of:

• fanfiction • writing chaos • memes • the occasional PSA • existential dread thoughts • whatever hyperfixation currently owns my brain

If you’re here for stories, nonsense, or chaotic creativity, welcome. If you’re here for short posts… I regret to inform you you’ve chosen the wrong blog.

Instagram - Pinterest - Kofi - Wattpad - AO3 - Tiktok - Substack - Patreon -

But I’m glad you’re here anyway!! Below the cut, you'll find important links for the PSAs and also other posts, so feel free to check them out!

𝐈./ 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐏𝐒𝐀 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐚-𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 & 𝐏𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 + 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐝𝐦𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫

𝐈𝐈./ 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐏𝐒𝐀 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐏𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬/𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐬/𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐚-𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐌𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬

𝐈𝐈𝐈./ 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒*𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐛𝐥𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲

𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐢-𝐓𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫 𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫 "𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬", "𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬", "𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬" 𝐚𝐧𝐝 "𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭-𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬" 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.

[melhyan-writes]

"𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐲 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝", 𝐚𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐧𝐚-𝐇𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐚/𝐆𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐎𝟑!

Hiiii!!

TW: SPOILERS FOR "BLOOD AND WINE" DLC ENDING (Dettlaff lives/Syanna doesn't)

So we're still in a heatwave here in France! I got a bit more time now that I am waiting to hear back from my new Uni so I took advantage of that to edit this one I've had in my drafts for a hot minute!

"Blood and Wine" is my favorite DLC ever and I just ADORE the dynamic/ship Anna-Henrietta/Geralt, I have four more fics and I'll try to post them soon peeps!

Thank you for reading!

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[melhyan-writes]

𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐀 𝐓𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐈𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐄𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐬: 𝐀 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐀𝐦𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐚

Aka "If You're Thinking, "My Idea Isn't Original Enough," Please Let Me Hold Your Hand For Two Minutes."

I see this take constantly on BookTok, Booksta and other reading communities.

"This trope has been done x amount of time before."

Congratulations! You've discovered literature! Everything has been done before!

Enemies to lovers predates indoor plumbing. Found family has existed since mythology. "There was only one bed" is probably older than your great-great-great-grandparents. Retellings have existed for literal millennia. Arthurian legends have been rebooted more times than Spider-Man.

We're all playing with the same storytelling Lego bricks! Some of us are simply determined to make those bricks kiss!

A few people seem to treat “this has been done before” as if it's some kind of devastating criticism. But... that's what a trope is.

Stories have always been built on recurring ideas, archetypes, themes, and structures. The interesting question has never been "Has anyone ever written this before?"

The interesting question is "What are you bringing to it?"

Because nobody else has your experiences, your sense of humor, your emotional baggage, your dialogue, your pacing, your weird obsession with describing rain, or your inexplicable need to make every emotionally unavailable man adopt a child.

BookTok (and some reading communities) sometimes acts like originality is the highest artistic virtue, right up until someone says "Enemies to lovers." Or "Dark academia." Or "Who did this to you?" Or "Found family." Or "Dragons." Or "Vampires." Or "Beauty and the Beast." Or "Hades and Persephone." Or even the famous "Touch her and die."

Then suddenly everyone's foaming at the mouth with excitement. Which is almost as if people don't actually want completely original stories.

They want familiar stories told well. Nobody walks into a bakery and goes, "Ugh. Bread. Again?"

Nobody refuses to listen to music because, "tragically", someone has already written a love song. Nobody stops watching detective shows because Sherlock Holmes already solved a mystery.

Execution has always mattered more than novelty. And before anyone says, "Well, what about Shakespeare?"

Half of Shakespeare wasn't original either. Romeo & Juliet wasn't an original plot. The man, like so many others, borrowed plots and tropes all the time.

The Lion King is Hamlet. West Side Story is Romeo & Juliet. Clueless is Emma. Ten Things I Hate About You is The Taming of the Shrew. The Divine Comedy is essentially Dante writing a historical and political self-insert fanfiction with an outrageously ambitious worldbuilding budget.

If you're sitting there thinking, "My idea isn't unique enough.."

Please stop. Respectfully. Lovingly. Gently.

You are not competing with every story ever told over the last several thousand years. You're competing with whether someone closes your book thinking, "Damn. I had a great time."

Book communities will spend six months tweeting about how "chosen one stories are dead," "enemies to lovers is overdone," "academia is boring now," and "romantasy is ruining literature"... then preorder a book that contains every single one of those things because the sprayed edges are shiny and the marketing team hired someone who knows how to edit a dramatic TikTok.

I think people don't actually hate tropes. They hate bad marketing. The exact same story gets called "derivative" when it's self-published, and "genre-defining" when a major publisher wraps it in foil embossing and sends twenty influencers a PR box the size of a refrigerator.

There are books with genuinely fresh ideas that disappear into obscurity because they didn't have a marketing budget, and there are books whose entire personality is "Shadow Daddy #48" that become cultural events.

We don't have a trope fatigue problem nearly as much as we have a recommendation fatigue problem.

People aren't tired of enemies to lovers. They're tired of seeing the same five books recommended as if the genre stopped evolving in 2022. We need yours.

I promise you, readers remember how a story made them feel far longer than they remember whether it contained the first dragon ever invented.

[melhyan-writes]

Little life/writing update: Late July Writing Camp, Scammer Uni News and Book stuff!

So... I officially resigned from my university yesterday.

It's a weird feeling. Relief, sadness, excitement... a bit of everything at once.

Right now I'm waiting for the administrative paperwork to come through while also waiting to hear back from the new school I applied to. Fingers crossed! I'm genuinely really excited about this new direction, and I can't wait to (hopefully) start this next chapter.

As for my previous school... around 60 former and current students are currently organising to explore possible legal action together.

I'm not sure yet whether I'll be joining them. I'm giving myself about a week before making any decisions because, if I'm honest, the last thing I need right now is more stress. I want to focus on getting settled, hearing back from my new school, and giving myself a chance to breathe after... all of this.

That also explains why I've been a little quieter than usual. Sorry for the lack of fics, memes, essays, and random 2 a.m. rants.😭 My brain has been occupied fighting the final boss known as Administrative Paperwork™!

The good news, though: I finally started outlining (and writing!) a brand-new original novel, which has been ridiculously fun. It's still in its baby stages, but getting excited about writing again feels really, really nice!

I'm also hosting a very chill late July/August writing camp over on our Discord to help keep the writing momentum going through the summer! An extremely low-pressure, "we're all just trying our best" Camp NaNo with ideas rambles, writing sprints and music playlists during said sprints!😂 If you'd like to join us, just send me a DM! We're a small group, but everyone is lovely, and we'd be happy to have more writing gremlins along for the ride!!✨

Thank you all for sticking around and for being so kind these past weeks. It really means a lot!! Hopefully I'll be back to regularly screaming about fictional characters instead of real-life bureaucracy very soon.

[skyholdpress]

Well, fancy seeing you here!

One "Dragon Age: Inquisition" zine idea later, and somehow we've ended up with… this.

Welcome to Skyhold Press! A little corner of Thedas dedicated to celebrating Dragon Age Inquisition (for now) through community projects, creative events, and a healthy amount of collective brainworms.

I'm Bucky! (Also known as Maul of Shame around these parts.) I'm a French fan who saw Joséphine running the Inquisition and thought, "Yeah, I, too, could voluntarily become an overworked project coordinator!"

To be fair… I'm legally obligated to channel at least a little Orlesian energy.

So… "what is Skyhold Press" I hear you ask?

The simplest answer, without sounding too cheesy? It's a home.

Rather than creating a brand new account every time the Dragon Age brainworms convince me to organize something, I wanted one place where it could all live.

The current "Dragon Age: Inquisition Community Zine" (title to be determined) is our very first project, but I'd love for Skyhold Press to become a space for all sorts of community events in the future.

Things like zines, prompt events, gift exchanges, Secret Satyrs—… I mean Secret Santas, themed weeks, community challenges …and whatever other ideas the fandom collectively decides to throw at the War Table!

Does that sound ambitious? Yeah. Am I excited anyway? Also yeah.

What about moderators?

While I'll soon be opening moderator applications for the zine itself, I'd also love to build a small Skyhold Press team over time.

Not everyone wants to help organize a zine specifically, and that's completely okay!

Maybe your thing is running prompt weeks. Maybe you're amazing at social media. Maybe you enjoy Discord moderation. Maybe you secretly thrive inside spreadsheets (Joséphine, is that you?).

As Skyhold Press grows, I'd love to have a lovely group of people to help organize all kinds of future community events together.

Why "Dragon Age: Inquisition"?

For now, Skyhold Press is focused on "Dragon Age: Inquisition", simply because that's where this whole adventure started for my brainworms.

That said… I certainly wouldn't rule out venturing into Origins, Dragon Age II, The Veilguard, or even broader Dragon Age projects somewhere down the road. But, one step at a time! Let's survive our first operation before we start planning expeditions into the Deep Roads!

Current status!

The "Dragon Age: Inquisition Community Zine Interest Check" is still open for three more days!⚜️

If you'd like to help shape the project—or simply let me know you'd be interested in participating—I'd love to hear from you!

Interest Check:

War Table Operation: Community Zine Interest check

Hi! I'm @Maul-of-Shame, though most people call me Bucky! If you've stumbled across this page, chances are you saw me enthusiastically shaki

The Discord is steadily taking shape, the Carrd is nearly ready to welcome visitors, and I've somehow already made tiny chibi Dragon Age emotes because apparently that's how I prioritize tasks.

What's coming next?

Over the next little while, you'll start seeing things like the Moderator applications popping up, the Carrd website, a project timeline, a FAQ, Contributor applications and more project updates!

I want to wait until the moderator team is assembled before finalizing a few things (like the timeline and last minute stuff for contributors apps!), so everyone has a chance to help shape the project together from the beginning!

Thank you, genuinely, for all the enthusiasm you've shown already!

When I first tossed the idea into the DAI tag, I never imagined so many people would get excited about creating something together. It's been incredibly heartwarming to watch this little idea grow into… well, an actual project!

Here's to the first of many adventures!

Maker preserve me & you peeps!⚜️

[melhyan-writes]

Today's Episode of "Girl What": Sometimes the Wrong Door Leads You Somewhere Better

Aka how my Uni lied to me and made me redirect career.

(A little life update, because this blog has always been more than just my writing and I wanted to let you peeps know why I have not updated fics etc in a hot minute!)

The past week has honestly been one of the biggest plot twists I've had in a long time?

After nearly two years in my current studies, about to start my third year this August btw, I discovered that the diploma I believed I was working towards (because in the Uni contract it is SAID it's a diploma, state recognized one) wasn't actually what I thought it was. It is not a diploma. You do not get anything in the end. AT ALL.

Reading through my contract again, researching further and finding other former students sharing similar experiences left me feeling... genuinely upset at best. Between the time, the energy and the money/thousands invested, I won't lie: I felt completely crushed.

I was surprised to find that some of the tutors assigned to grade coursework appeared to come from professional backgrounds unrelated to the subjects they were assessing. (I had a naturopathy teacher grading my 3d models/ +14 pages plans homeworks/exams).

At the beginning of this year, I experienced repeated health emergencies, including but not only severe allergic shocks requiring several visits to the emergency department. I sent medical certificates and hospital documents to the school like "hey, would it be possible to just move it to a slightly later date (which hasn't been an issue before)" and ended up with no answer. Despite that, I still received emails criticizing my pace, even warnings telling me that if I did not hurry to make them the day after (despite literally just getting out of hospital), on the third warning I would get thrown out. Which was incredibly difficult to read at a time when I was struggling just to get through each day, and struggling to walk/talk/breathe normally due to the exhaustion and allergic shocks back to back (three in the same week). I was constantly dizzy and had blurry vision, I couldn't even maintain a normal conversation, let alone do a +20 pages exam on that day.

We were supposed to get language classes, since they were included in the contract... I got nothing. I asked about it, chatted with other students about it, and none of us got them.

We were supposed to get internships, based on partnerships our school had with brands/corps and then again, nothing. When I tried to get infos about it, I got no answer.

We were supposed to get courses on how to use certain programs, we did, but the "free license" stopped at 7 months instead of a full year and we had to pay 100€ to "keep it" to do our exams on it or we would have had zero on our grades and lost our 3D modelisations.

I spent a couple of days wondering if I'd simply failed to find my place.

Maybe I got it wrong somehow. Maybe this was me asking too many questions, or going out of my way, being paranoid right?

Then, in true RPG fashion, I accidentally unlocked a side quest literally this past weekend.

While researching alternatives, I found a training/formation centered around bookselling, libraries and the world of books. Recommending novels, merchandising, organizing cultural events, communicating with readers... I read the programme and caught myself smiling.

Nothing is signed yet, so I'm taking things one step at a time. But it's been a while since I've been this excited about what comes next instead of mourning what didn't work out.

If I can leave you with one piece of advice, especially if you're choosing a school or university, it's this:

Ask every question!!!

Ask exactly what qualification you'll receive. Ask how it's recognised. Ask what happens after graduation. Ask about internships. Ask former students if you can. Read reviews. Read the contract. Then read it again.

You are investing years of your life and often thousands of your money. You deserve clear answers.

Anyway... if this somehow ends with me recommending fantasy novels, organising literary events and living my best little book goblin life, I fully expect Varric to lean over a bookshelf and say "Well... that's a better story than the one you started with!"

[greekmythfanzine]

Contributors in the Anthology!

All contributors social media can be found under the cut!

Make sure to sign up to be notified about our presale:

Pre-Sale Sign-Up

This is the form to sign up to be notified about the pre-sale beginning for the Greek Mythology Anthology. The website will sell: a physica

Moderator: @historianroo on tumblr and ao3.

Co-Moderator: @jaguarys on tumblr.

Layout Designer: @flantasticclaude on tumblr.

Artists: Res is noveldivergence on bluesky. Kreatured is on instagram as keatond3 for writing and kreature_creates for art and on tumblr as @kreatured. HigherNoon is on tumblr as @higher-noon-art and instagram as highernoonart. Siriusimi is kostini_co on instagram and @boukerbear on tumblr. LizzyLizarts is lizzylizarts on instagram. @amadness2method on tumblr. Artbymoodybunny on instagram. Lis Aldaine is on tumblr as @lis-aldaine and @statuesquueart and statuesquueart on instagram. @avechor on tumblr.

Writers: Faoryn. @melhyan-writes on tumblr and melhyan_writes on instagram. Dashicra1 on tumblr and ao3. @finnocellaris on tumblr. Snowfilly is @snowfilly on tumblr and Snowfilly1 on ao3. Cyan. Glasswaters is @glasswaters on tumblr. Wax is @waxflowerwoes on tumblr. @acemistakes on tumblr and ao3.

[melhyan-writes]

hope it's not sounding rude or anything but when is the new chapter of "Skating On Thin Ice" coming? I just cannot wait for the 21st chapter and Duncan helping Aerion!!

Aww???😭💙 Not rude at all!!

The current game plan is either tomorrow (if I go a little feral) or Saturday during the day!🤞🏒💙

I'm doing long-distance studies for uni, so I'm juggling exams and homework alongside writing still this summer (not really getting holidays- *proceeds to sob*), and these chapters have somehow decided that 10k+ words is their minimum wage-

Chapter 21 is being lovingly bullied into existence as we speak, I promise. Duncan helping Aerion is coming!! They just insist on taking the scenic route every single time 💀

Thank you so much for being excited for it, though. It genuinely makes me smile knowing people are waiting for these two idiots!!! (ALSO WE ARE CLOSE TO 165K WORDS???????? HELLO?????)💙🏒⛸️

[melhyan-writes]

"Skating on Thin Ice" first Spin-Off, "Second-Degree Feelings" (a Baelor Targaryen x Kheevan fic) is up on AO3!

Kheevan ignored the first missed call.

By the second, he was irritated.

By the fourth unanswered text, he was pacing his kitchen with a mug of coffee going cold in his hand, jaw tight enough to ache.

Baelor was many things, yes.

Busy, arrogant, chronically incapable of charging his phone properly—but he answered Kheevan.

Usually with something annoying, but still.

Kheevan stared at the screen again.

You alive or what?

Delivered. No response. Not even a “read.”

“Unbelievable,” he muttered to himself, already annoyed enough to start composing future insults.

Then his phone rang. Unknown number.

Kheevan frowned immediately before answering. “Yeah?”

“Hello, is this Mister Kheevan?” a woman asked quickly. Hospital background noise crackled faintly behind her—voices, wheels, distant beeping.

Every muscle in his body tightened instantly.

“Yes,” he said sharply.

“This is the emergency department at the Mercy General Hospital—”

[Note: Hi hello hi hi!!

This is a little spin-off-ish one-shot based on Baelor and Kheevan from my "Skating on Thin Ice" fic!

Did anyone ask for an entire fic about Baelor losing a fight against tempura? Absolutely not. Did I write it anyway because free will is a beautiful thing, I have a very unhealthy amount of affection for this rarepair, and these two refuse to leave my brain alone? Yes.

My beloved microscopic rarepair looked at me, collectively shared one brain cell, and demanded an entire story because one of them lost a fight against hot oil.

No prior reading is required, although if you've read "Skating on Thin Ice", you'll recognize these two professional idiots and their very normal, definitely not married behavior. This is mostly just two middle-aged idiots being catastrophically fond of each other, one hospital visit, one kitchen disaster, several emotional support insults, and soup.

If you stopped by to read this little detour, thank you so much. Whether you're here because you followed these two from the main fic or simply wandered in after seeing the words “tempura incident,” I genuinely hope it makes you smile!

Enjoy!💙]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[melhyan-writes]

"𝐒𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐈𝐜𝐞", 𝐚 𝐃𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐧/𝐀𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐈𝐜𝐞-𝐬𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐈𝐜𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜, 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟎 𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐩!

[Note: Hi hello, I have returned from the land of melting.

First of all: sorry for being a little late! France decided that existing below the temperature of the sun was overrated, so I've been surviving the heatwave by becoming one with my floor tiles and questioning every life choice that led me to owning exactly zero air conditioners.

The good news is that it's finally starting to cool down. We cheered. The plants cheered. My laptop fan cheered.

Unfortunately, real life then remembered I exist, so homework and assignments decided to tag-team me immediately afterwards because apparently peace was never an option.

ANYWAY.

Please enjoy this chapter. As always, thank you so much for reading, for commenting, for screaming in the comments, for leaving little hearts, and for hanging out with these ridiculous idiots alongside me. You genuinely make writing this story such a joy!!❤️

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go drink approximately four litres of water and pretend my homework doesn't know where I live!

Enjoy!

_ Mel ❄️⛸️💙

Link for Chapter 20]

[maul-of-shame]

Fantasy France MLM recruitment post: The Form Is Here!

Citizens of Toussaint, suspicious bards, emotionally compromised witchers, and people who accidentally followed me for another fandom entirely:

Applications for my Witcher 3: Blood & Wine-inspired D&D campaign are officially open!

Here is the form!

"The Witcher 3: Blood & Wine" D&D Interest Form

Greetings, travelers, witchers, suspicious bards, and people who accidentally clicked on this! I'm @Maul-of-Shame on Tumblr! People usually

After days/weeks/months of being normal about "Blood & Wine" (this is a lie), I have finally decided to turn fantasy French wine crimes, vampires with issues, and knightly OSHA violations into a collective problem!

Current hopes are for an early August start, and no, you do NOT need D&D experience. New players are more than welcome. If you've wandered in from the woods with only vibes and an unhealthy attachment to fictional characters, you qualify!

Voice? Writing? Both? Schedules forged in the depths of hell? That's what the form is for.

Also as a native Frenchwoman, I feel legally obligated to make Toussaint everyone else's problem. Like yes I know wine. Not in a "haha French stereotype" way.

In a "my mother, father, and godparents all worked/ still work in the wine industry and I grew up surrounded by conversations about grapes, barrels, appellations, harvests, and men arguing over tannins" way.

I didn't choose fantasy France, Fantasy France chose me. Honestly, CDPR had no business making Toussaint this accurate. I loaded up Blood & Wine and immediately started pointing at my screen like Leonardo DiCaprio.

THAT'S A VINEYARD. THAT'S A WINE CELLAR. THAT'S A MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE HE HAS STRONG OPINIONS ABOUT TERROIR. THIS IS JUST MY CHILDHOOD BUT WITH VAMPIRES-

Please note that since I'm French, the side effects may include: excessive bread opinions, alarming knowledge about wine, strong feelings about cheese, saying "honhonhon" exactly zero times, me going "ACTUALLY—" and then explaining medieval nonsense no one asked for etc.

Tumblr group chats are dead, Tumblr communities would become the eighth circle of hell, so everything will happen over Discord because I enjoy surviving.

Come forth, my merry band of emotionally unstable fools.

There are wine crimes to solve.

May the Great Sun illuminate your path!

[maul-of-shame]

Fantasy France MLM recruitment post: The Form Is Here!

Citizens of Toussaint, suspicious bards, emotionally compromised witchers, and people who accidentally followed me for another fandom entirely:

Applications for my Witcher 3: Blood & Wine-inspired D&D campaign are officially open!

Here is the form!

"The Witcher 3: Blood & Wine" D&D Interest Form

Greetings, travelers, witchers, suspicious bards, and people who accidentally clicked on this! I'm @Maul-of-Shame on Tumblr! People usually

After days/weeks/months of being normal about "Blood & Wine" (this is a lie), I have finally decided to turn fantasy French wine crimes, vampires with issues, and knightly OSHA violations into a collective problem!

Current hopes are for an early August start, and no, you do NOT need D&D experience. New players are more than welcome. If you've wandered in from the woods with only vibes and an unhealthy attachment to fictional characters, you qualify!

Voice? Writing? Both? Schedules forged in the depths of hell? That's what the form is for.

Also as a native Frenchwoman, I feel legally obligated to make Toussaint everyone else's problem. Like yes I know wine. Not in a "haha French stereotype" way.

In a "my mother, father, and godparents all worked/ still work in the wine industry and I grew up surrounded by conversations about grapes, barrels, appellations, harvests, and men arguing over tannins" way.

I didn't choose fantasy France, Fantasy France chose me. Honestly, CDPR had no business making Toussaint this accurate. I loaded up Blood & Wine and immediately started pointing at my screen like Leonardo DiCaprio.

THAT'S A VINEYARD. THAT'S A WINE CELLAR. THAT'S A MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE HE HAS STRONG OPINIONS ABOUT TERROIR. THIS IS JUST MY CHILDHOOD BUT WITH VAMPIRES-

Please note that since I'm French, the side effects may include: excessive bread opinions, alarming knowledge about wine, strong feelings about cheese, saying "honhonhon" exactly zero times, me going "ACTUALLY—" and then explaining medieval nonsense no one asked for etc.

Tumblr group chats are dead, Tumblr communities would become the eighth circle of hell, so everything will happen over Discord because I enjoy surviving.

Come forth, my merry band of emotionally unstable fools.

There are wine crimes to solve.

May the Great Sun illuminate your path!

[melhyan-writes]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞/𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐈𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐎𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐬

Or: "How Every Fandom Somehow Produces One Guy Who, Apparently, Has The Entire Entertainment Industry On Speed Dial"

My favorite recurring fandom phenomenon is when someone starts a sentence with: "As someone who studied media literacy—"

... and then proceeds to demonstrate absolutely none.

Every fandom eventually develops that one person who speaks with the confidence of a government spokesperson delivering an official statement.

"The writers intended—"

"The actor clearly meant—"

"The director wanted us to understand—"

"The cast would hate this interpretation—"

Would they? Would they really? Or did you watch the same show as the rest of us and come away with an opinion? Which is fine, by the way! Opinions are great. Headcanons are great. Interpretations are great. Fandom would be incredibly boring without them!

The problem starts when people stop presenting those things as opinions and start presenting them as official canon documents discovered in a locked vault beneath the studio.

I'm sorry but no, that popular fandom blog does not have direct contact with the writers. No, your mutual does not secretly attend production meetings. No, the person with 20,000 followers is not an accredited representative of the cast.

And no, repeating an interpretation with enough confidence does not magically promote it to objective fact.

One of the strangest things fandom does is confuse popularity with authority. If a post is getting ten thousand notes, that does not make it more correct than another who doesn't.

A headcanon being widely accepted by the fandom does not make it canon.

A confident tone does not count as a source.

Most of us are just people staring at the same piece of media and trying to make sense of it. Some interpretations are better supported by the text than others. Maybe some arguments are stronger than others, yeah. But nobody is receiving secret transmissions from the writers' room through the power of media literacy.

Media literacy is not agreeing with your interpretation. It's not making up an interview quote. It's not screenshotting a random tweet with 17 likes and declaring it canon. And media literacy is definitely not deciding that everyone who disagrees with you secretly lacks reading comprehension.

I think some people use "media literacy" the same way medieval villagers used garlic. They wave it around whenever something scares them and hope it goes away.

Anyway. The next time somebody confidently informs you that the actor, writer, director, producer, cameraman, lighting technician, caterer, and the creator's second cousin all support their headcanon or directly dmed them with the "truth", maybe take a deep breath and remember:

People on the internet can simply say things. The fact they used a confident tone does not magically transform it into evidence. One person invents a fact, three people repeat it, and six months later it's on the fandom wiki. This is both a blessing and a curse.

[melhyan-writes]

Hi! Hope it's okay to ask but I've seen you're updating your fic often and I was wondering how you stay motivated? 19 chapters is crazy, plus your chapters are super long! I was just wondering if you have tips!

Hope you have a good day!

Hi!! First of all, thank you so much, that's incredibly sweet of you to say so thank you anon!😭💕

I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that my brain tends to hyperfocus on things. Once I get obsessed with a story, it's kind of over for everyone involved (including me). I'll be washing dishes and suddenly I'm mentally writing three scenes ahead instead of functioning as a normal member of society.

One thing that helps a LOT is music. I have playlists for every fic, and some even have multiple playlists depending on the mood, characters, or specific scenes. Sometimes I can't write, but I can listen to the playlist and immediately get back into the story's headspace!

I'm also very much a list person. I have ADHD, and if I don't write things down, they cease to exist the second they leave my brain like genuinely they're gone with the wind-😅 I keep notes, outlines, scene ideas, random dialogue snippets, chapter goals... basically enough documents to concern any reasonable person!

Schedules help too! Not because I always follow them perfectly (lol), but having a rough idea of what I want to work on next keeps me from staring at a blank page wondering where my life went wrong! And helps me see when I have free time, when I should be studying, when I should be writing/editing etc!

The other big thing is writing sprints! I'm in a Discord server with friends where we do writing sprints pretty regularly, and honestly it's one of the best things I've done for my productivity! There's something really motivating about seeing other people work on their projects at the same time. It kind of turns writing from "alone in a room staring at a document" into "everyone is collectively losing their minds over their blorbos together" plus we have a VC where there is a music bot so we can all write with music as well! Feel free to dm me if you want the link for the server!<3

Also, and this might sound silly, but I try not to wait for motivation all the time. Some days I'm possessed by the writing demon and produce thousands of words. Other days I stare at a sentence for twenty minutes and wonder if I've ever known a language. Both are normal writing days!

And finally, comments genuinely help a lot! Knowing people are reading, enjoying the story, screaming about characters, or getting emotionally attached to scenes is a huge motivator! So thank you for reading and for taking the time to send this ask, it made me smile 💖

I hope your writing is going well too, and may the hyperfocus gods bless your WIPs!

[itsgarbageboy]

maomao is my favorite "not like other girls" style protagonist bc for one shes a girls girl through and through. to the bone. and two she's just a weird little freak. absolute lunatic. they have the whole "omg she's actually beautiful and everyone falls for her when she's all made up" trope but the punchline is that she does not fucking want to look like that. she actively puts dirt on her face every day bc she does not want to be perceived as attractive (mostly out of fear of being used for sex work though at the same time she has the utmost respect for women who do sex work like she grew up in a brothel those are her sisters). she's Sherlock level smart and solves every mystery so fast but goes "well thats none of my business. anyway back to testing poisons on myself" she has the 2nd most powerful guy in the nation head over heels in love with her and is like "man this guy is weird around me what's his deal. I guess he's fine though because he gives me rare medicines and has no dick" fucking ICON i love her. also she once slapped someone so hard they fell on the floor. 10/10

[melhyan-writes]

𝐀 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐈𝐬: 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐀𝐎𝟑 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬

Aka me once again asking people to stop treating personal preferences as political manifestos. CRITICISM AND CENSORSHIP ARE DIFFERENT WORDS, PLEASE USE THEM CORRECTLY-

Maybe this is a lukewarm take, but I think fandom conversations would be a lot healthier if we stopped treating every preference as a moral stance.

You are allowed to have icks. You are allowed to have kinks.

You are allowed to adore a trope, avoid a trope, mute a tag, block a tag, roll your eyes at a tag, or click on it so fast your mouse catches fire.

None of that automatically makes you an anti, a puritan, a hater or whatever other label people are handing out this week.

Sometimes people just... don't like things. That could be because of one reason or multiple and that is FINE.

I've noticed that fandom discussions increasingly flatten everything into extremes. If you dislike a particular trope, ship, kink, or theme, some people assume you're advocating censorship/being puritanical. If you enjoy something dark or taboo in fiction, others assume you're endorsing it in real life.

Amost 98% of the time, neither assumption is true.

A lot of people are simply curating their own experience.

They know what they enjoy, what they find upsetting, what bores them, what hits too close to home, and what they'd rather spend their free time reading instead. This is just being a person.

I also think we've become weirdly bad at distinguishing criticism from hostility.

Talking about why a work didn't land for you, why a trope makes you uncomfortable, or why you disagree with a portrayal is not the same thing as attacking the people who enjoy it.

Maybe this is the art student in me talking, but criticism has always been part of engaging with art. Books, films, paintings, sculptures, photography, theatre, fanfiction, poetry etc, people have been analyzing, debating, praising, criticizing, and arguing about creative works for centuries.

If you put something out into the world, people are going to have opinions about it. Some of those opinions will be positive. Some will be negative. Some will be thoughtful, insightful, completely wrong, frustrating, fascinating, or all of the above at once.

That's just part of making art.

I've sat through critiques. I've had people point out weaknesses in things I spent dozens of hours working on. I've also learned an incredible amount from discussions with people who interpreted my work differently than I intended.

Criticism isn't automatically an attack. It isn't inherently censorship. It isn't some modern fandom invention. It's one of the ways people interact with art.

That doesn't mean every critique is good, fair, informed, or useful. Plenty aren't. But I don't think the existence of criticism is a problem in itself.

There is a huge difference between discussing a work and targeting the person who created it. The former is a normal part of artistic culture. The latter is where things start becoming hostile.

You don't have to agree with every interpretation of your work. You don't have to accept every criticism. You don't even have to think a particular critique is remotely accurate. But once art leaves your hands and enters the world, people are going to react to it. That's not a failure of the audience or of the artist. That's what art has always done.

I think these conversations often become muddled is when criticism, harassment, and censorship get treated as though they're interchangeable.... And they're not.

Calling something poorly written, discussing its themes, questioning its message, analyzing its portrayal of a subject, or explaining why it made you uncomfortable is not censorship.

At the same time, "I'm just criticizing it" is not a free pass to harass creators, start dogpiles, send abuse, or treat real people with contempt.

Both words end up getting stretched so far that they lose all meaning.

Not every critique is censorship. Not every rude comment is thoughtful criticism. And not every negative reaction is an attempt to erase a work from existence.

I think it's perfectly possible to defend someone's right to create something while having absolutely no desire to read it yourself. It's also possible to dislike something intensely without demanding it vanish from existence.

Those ideas have never seemed incompatible to me. Art invites discussion. People will disagree. People will love things, hate things, misunderstand things, and argue about them. That's been true for as long as humans have been making stories.

The important part is remembering that engaging with a work and attacking a person are not the same thing, and neither are criticism and censorship.

Anyway, long story short: don't be an a$$, don't harass people over fiction, and don't act like muting a tag is the first step toward a fascist regime. You are allowed to dislike things without becoming the CEO of censorship. Likewise, you are allowed to enjoy things without becoming the patron saint of artistic freedom.

[melhyan-writes]

"𝐒𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐈𝐜𝐞", 𝐚 𝐃𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐧/𝐀𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐈𝐜𝐞-𝐬𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐈𝐜𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜, 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟗 𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐩!

[Note: (posted yesterday but forgot to update here!)

Hi y'all!

It is currently... *checks clock* ...11:50 PM past at the time of posting and I am running almost entirely on vibes, caffeine remnants, and the mental image of Connor having approximately seventeen crises before breakfast.

If you spot typos, no you didn't. Those belong to me now. I've adopted them. They're free-range.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! We've got injured gremlins, emotional support dragons, grocery store adventures pending, Duncan and Aerion continuing their accidental speedrun toward feelings, and Connor discovering that both medicine and science have completely failed him.

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts! I read every comment and they genuinely make my day!!💙

Thank you all for being here and for screaming about these idiots with me. It means more than you know. Stay warm, stay hydrated, and don't let your friends discover your secret emotional support mango yogurt!!❄️⛸️💙

_ Mel

Link for Chapter 19]