So pre-crisis Jason was an acrobat with the circus, whose parents were killed (very original). It was then changed to his current origins where he grew up in poverty and stole the tired off the batmobile, you know the rest.
Even in the current origins, Jason has always been very acrobatic. Same as all the other Robins. He's still very agile as Red Hood. it's a plot point in Under the Red Hood that he's so incredibly acrobatic. Hell, that's what tips Bruce off to the fact that he's Bat-trained in the first place, it's the first piece of the puzzle in finding his identity.
In modern comics, and in fandom, I feel Jason is seen as the 'strong' one. Dick is the eldest and the flexible one, Jason is the strong and angry one, Tim is the smart and overworked one, and Damian is the small angry one. Honestly, they might as well be the ninja turtles at this point.
I'm always a big advocate for the Robins all being on almost equal footing for everything, with very slight advantages in some areas. So bring back agile Jason.
Bruce trained them all, he's just as flexible as the rest of them, but Batman doesn't do unnecessary flips like Robin does. It's easy to forget he can do all the same shit as the Robins, he just doesn't.
That being said, I want the rest of the Robins to assume Jason can't do the same stuff they can, only for Jason to bust out a triple summersault just for funsies. I want Jason Built-like-a-fridge Todd to leap from a building and not make a sound when he lands. I need to see Dick start walking around in his hands, only for Jason to start hopping about on one hand in order to one-up him.
Basically, I want to see Jason, when his fight or flight is triggered, do what every Robin has done, and end up perched on Batman's shoulders.
Don't you dare hide these in tags!!!! This is exactly my point!!!
Like he was a bit bigger when he came back cause he was wearing fucking bulletproof armour and a big leather jacket rather than a leotard. But he's still the same kid that fucking died.
I do appreciate comics wanting to create recognisable silhouettes for the different characters, but that's what the helmet and jacket are for.
I want to see Jason, sans armour, being the same size as the 14 year old body they buried.
There's something so poetic about all the Robins trying to be like the original.
Dick Grayson obviously created the role, and just looked like himself. Robin was him, so becoming Robin means becomes Dick Grayson of the Flying Graysons.
Pre-Crisis Jason was originally blonde, and dyed his hair to fit the Robin-look. Dying his hair cause he felt he wasn't deserving of the suite, or Bruce's love like Dick was, so he has to masquerade as the better son, the original.
Tim already looked the part, but didn't have the acrobatic skills Dick and Jason had, nor did he have the respect and partnership they had with Batman. So Tim tries to act more like his idea of Robin. He saw Robin in the field, he didn't see Dick and Jason at home. As such, he tries to be Bruce's partner, not his son. Tries to emulate the 'useful' parts of Dick and Jason.
Damian does not look like the other Robins. He has a sword. The difference is, he was raised to believe that this was his birthright. Maybe not to be Robin, but to be with Batman. Initially, he doesn't try to act like Robin because he believes Robin belongs to him. Later on, once he's a more down-to-earth individual, he tries to emulate the style of Dick Grayson, he believes his differences are his flaws.
It's so interesting each son's concept of Robin and how they all see Dick as the gold-standard, even when Dick and Bruce fought all the time when he was younger.
It's also interesting how Dick was treated more like a brother/cousin than a son in the early comics. In most comic timelines, Bruce would have to be like 20 when he took in Dick, way too young to be a father. This leads to Dick receiving different treatment than the others, and ultimately what leads to them falling out.
Dick and Bruce started arguing because, as they both got older, Bruce started to be more parental at the same time Dick wanted more independence. Dick feels more coddled than he ever did as a child. Then Bruce adopts Jason, and Dick sees his fatherly side that he didn't get as a child, and he feels like he missed something.
Tim comes into the picture at a difficult time. Bruce is angry and scared, and he pushes Tim away. But, from Dick's perspective, Tim is pushed away cause being Robin is too dangerous, so why didn't Bruce do the same for him? Both Jason and Tim had to fight to be Robin, and Bruce pushed back because they were his kids and he didn't want to see them hurt, so why didn't he stop Dick?
Then Damian appears, arrogant and violent. The kid grows on him. He starts feeling parental towards him, especially when Bruce is missing. Damian wants the Robin mantle, and it would be good for him, but Dick is scared he'll get hurt. He can't see the boy he cares about get hurt under his command. Then he remembers he isn't Damian's father, he can't take that role from Bruce, he can't baby him, so he gives him Robin.
Jason, Tim, and Damian wanted to be Robin because they thought being Robin made you Bruce's son. Dick could never be his son because he was too busy being Robin.
So pre-crisis Jason was an acrobat with the circus, whose parents were killed (very original). It was then changed to his current origins where he grew up in poverty and stole the tired off the batmobile, you know the rest.
Even in the current origins, Jason has always been very acrobatic. Same as all the other Robins. He's still very agile as Red Hood. it's a plot point in Under the Red Hood that he's so incredibly acrobatic. Hell, that's what tips Bruce off to the fact that he's Bat-trained in the first place, it's the first piece of the puzzle in finding his identity.
In modern comics, and in fandom, I feel Jason is seen as the 'strong' one. Dick is the eldest and the flexible one, Jason is the strong and angry one, Tim is the smart and overworked one, and Damian is the small angry one. Honestly, they might as well be the ninja turtles at this point.
I'm always a big advocate for the Robins all being on almost equal footing for everything, with very slight advantages in some areas. So bring back agile Jason.
Bruce trained them all, he's just as flexible as the rest of them, but Batman doesn't do unnecessary flips like Robin does. It's easy to forget he can do all the same shit as the Robins, he just doesn't.
That being said, I want the rest of the Robins to assume Jason can't do the same stuff they can, only for Jason to bust out a triple summersault just for funsies. I want Jason Built-like-a-fridge Todd to leap from a building and not make a sound when he lands. I need to see Dick start walking around in his hands, only for Jason to start hopping about on one hand in order to one-up him.
Basically, I want to see Jason, when his fight or flight is triggered, do what every Robin has done, and end up perched on Batman's shoulders.
Saw an ad for some ai bullshit, tuned it out when suddenly got hit with the whiplash of it being designed for you to generate fanfiction????
Like what is the point? Do you think those motherfuckers on Wattpad are making money off that shit? NO! Fanfiction is here because I didn't like the ending of that one book and think either I, or a random person on the internet, could do it better. How niche is your fandom that you need to fucking generate fanfiction?
Like I'm sorry, I have seen crossovers between 18+ horror films and kids books, I have seen headcanons so wild that they actively contradict canon, I have seen kinks I didn't know could exist.
If there is simply no fanfiction for your needs (and are unable to write your own ig), then I think it's time for some self reflection.
I thought I would bless you all with a nice Christmassy shit-post. So here's what I think each member of the Batfam's favourite Christmas Movies are:
Bruce
Bruce has always been a big fan of the older Christmas movies, the ones Alfred had on tape when he was a boy. As such, he doesn't feel the season has truly started until he's watched Miracle on 34th Street, Meet me in St. Louis or It's a Wonderful Life. Recently, he's become partial to the Holly and the Ivy, finding a film about an estranged family coming home for the holidays and overcoming their miscommunications to learn to accept each other hits rather close to home.
Dick
Muppets Christmas Carol. For his first Christmas at the Manor, Bruce only had a lot of the classic films he grew up watching, but a young Dick didn't like them, so he took him to see the newly released Muppets Christmas Carol. Dick was vaguely aware of the story just through cultural osmosis, but fell in love with the film (and all Muppets things in general). He's never read the original, but claims to have expert knowledge on Dickens now. He gave Jason a headache when he stubbornly insisted that there were 2 Marley Brothers.
Jason
Jason is one of those people who make it their whole personality that they think Die Hard is a Christmas Movie. To be clear, I don't really care if Die Hard is a Christmas film or not, I just know multiple people who HAVE to bring it up whenever people talk about Christmas movies. As much as Jason insists Die Hard is his favourite, he gets an odd amount of comfort from watching the old animated Grinch film, he doesn't understand why (Dick took him to see it around his first Christmas in the Manor, Jason can't recall this event ever since his death).
Tim
Tim's a big fan of those early 2000s animated Christmas Films, like the Polar Express and the Christmas Carol, that have that uncanny valley vibe. He will talk for ages about the technology in making them, how the technology has changed now, what about it gives the weird vibe, why we get unsettled by it, etc. He and Steph will also play a drinking game with the 6 million Hallmark Movies.
Steph
As I just said, Steph created a drinking game for those predictable Hallmark movies: You make a list of 5 things you think are going to happen in the film, then trade lists, you do a shot every time something on the list happens. Currently, Cass is the reigning champ. She manages to predict even the most insane twists. If you were to ask Steph her favourite Christmas film, she would say Elf.
Cass
For her first Christmas at the Manor, pretty much everyone was so excited to introduce her to their own specific Christmas Traditions, that she kind of got overloaded with the Holidays. This is why she is so good at predicting the Hallmark movies, cause she basically did a Christmas Speedrun the first year. In terms of her personal favourites, she's partial to some of the classic movies she watched with Bruce, proshots of Christmas Ballets, and Barbie and the Nutcracker (mainly cause she watches that one with Steph).
Damian
For his first Christmas at the Manor, Damian was not exactly full of Christmas Cheer, as such, Tim and Jason kept calling him a 'Grinch' or a 'Scrooge'. Damian felt that he must do suitable research so that he may retaliate evenly. He watched the Jim Carrey Grinch, and the Jim Carrey Christmas Carol. Then he had nightmares about a weird green man showing him his grave. Eventually, Dick and Bruce had to confront Damian on his sudden shift to being full of Holiday Cheer™, where he had to admit to fearing his demise if he did not change his ways. After a very long conversation, Bruce watched Santa Buddies with Damian to calm him down. He will never admit to it, but Damian has a soft spot for talking animal Christmas Films.
Duke
Like with Damian and Cass, everyone immediately tried to introduce Duke to their favourite Christmas films. He had to shoot them all down though, as he'd already seen most of them growing up. Duke did get to introduce Damian to his favourite Christmas film, the old Rankin-Bass Rudolph, it just has an air of nostalgia that he associates with his childhood.
Other Notable Items
Home Alone and its sequels are banned ever since Bruce was nearly late for Christmas, when he got caught up with JL business, and came home to a completely booby-trapped house.
If Frank Sinatra's Christmas Songs are playing, it means Alfred is having a break in that room. Leave him to it, or else.
After a long argument about the validity of Die Hard being a Christmas movie, in which Tim brought up that several other movies take place at Christmas but are not Christmas films (In Bruges, Eyes Wide Shut, Tokyo Godfathers, etc), Dick mentioned Batman Returns. Then they all had to grapple with the fourth wall for a good few days.
So you know how most of the Robins have their own Kryptonian, Speedster or Amazon (usually multiple)? I have a fun idea about that friendship.
So, picture this, Gotham has been going through it, fully isolated in some way with an all out war. You know, the usual. As always, no Metas are allowed to come help out, so no one has heard a peep from any of the Gotham Vigilantes for a few months. Finally, the situation is sorted, but Batman still isn't a fan of metas coming into the city, as it's still healing.
This leads to almost every hero trying to break into Gotham.
To start, you have Jon, he's desperate to see if Damian is okay, but he knows his Dad would not let him go to Gotham right now. Luckily, both Lois and Clark are working overtime at the Planet to cover the situation in Gotham. So he easily sneaks out. Upon arriving at the Manor, he feigns childhood innocence, acting like he never knew about the situation, and he just wanted to ask Damian for help on his homework. Alfred sees right through him, but let's the lad in anyway.
Then you have Young Justice. Bart knows all the secret ways in and out of Gotham that the Bats haven't found yet (Future knowledge, he'll tell Tim about them before any villain uses them, promise), so he picks up Cassie en route and they simply slip into Tim's room.
Kon has to be a bit more vigilant, Bruce has had it out for him ever since he took Tim to get a tongue piercing. He has to wait for Tim to give him the all clear so he can sneak past Bruce's Red Sun lights.
Then you have Artemis and Bizarro. They just waltz into one of Jason's safe houses. Jason does not live with the rest of the Bats normally, but he's there to debrief tonight. So when the alarms in one of his safe houses get triggered, he has to ride out to pick up the two least stealthy people he knows. He's pretty sure Alfred saw them, just didn't say anything.
Next up is Wally and Donna Troy. There's no way in hell a camera could pick up Wally, but he does have to avoid all the carefully set Speedster traps. He is supposed to be having dinner with Barry and Iris, but he's just gonna claim he was late, works every time.
Donna doesn't really need to make any excuses, but she does try her best to slip into the crowd of Gothamites leaving/returning to the city now that the border is down. It's not that subtle when she's a solid foot taller than everyone else.
Ultimately, they all manage to sneak in under Batman's nose, and are very proud of the fact.
Bruce 100% saw all of them break in, he just can't do anything about it cause he also has been trapped between his own personal Amazon and Kryptonian for a few hours. He's also pretty sure Barry is on his way with takeout.
I wish we could go back to having goofy villains, with convoluted plots and gimmicks that ultimately lead to their downfall. I know a lot of people have grown tired of the grim-dark era of comics, but I feel that the damage has been done already and we can't go back.
I keep rewriting this cause I can't quite get the wording right, but what I'm trying to say is this: I can't empathise or find a villain funny because of the baggage that comes with that character.
The biggest example of this is the Joker. For quite a while, he was a 'joke' character, who had clown-themed weaponry, a penchant for puns, and an obsession with making notable grouch (Batman) smile. But ever since he killed Jason Todd, I feel there's been this need to make him ridiculously threatening. Don't get me wrong, I love a lot of the darker portrayals of the Joker, but it almost feels like the Joker became that character to prove a point. Like, totally fictional convo that I feel could have happened.
"The readers are saying we're too goofy and there's no stakes in comics. They want a serious villain."
"Too goofy? Do they know who I am? I'm John DC Goddammit! They want dark? I'll show them dark!"
"Oh, so we are we gonna make a new villain, or pull out a more serious one like Bane?"
"No, I need to prove to them that I can be spooky. I'll do what they could never expect, I'll take the silliest character we have and I'll make them all TREMBLE IN FEAR at how dark he is!"
"Sir, you need to stop maniacal laughing at the interns."
"Yes... YESSS!!!! I'll take a clown... And I'll give him face tattoos! No! I'll remove his face! Then... I'll put it back on! Also he'll kill a child, like brutally so, like this is genuinely the most graphic comics will be (in the 80s). If Stephen King can do it, so can I. I will be the man to make the Joker.... edgy!"
Yeah so that's basically what happened. Trust me, I was there.
My problem is that, now the Joker is proper evil and not just a guy with a weird gimmick, we can't go back. If you tried to make a story in which the Joker basically pranked all of Gotham by breaking into the Mint and putting his own face on the penny, I'd assume there were also bombs in them, or chemical weapons designed to make you laugh until you choke, or they emit subliminal messaging to make you kill your parents. I can't just can't read him as silly anymore. You've taken a mischievous clown and turned him into Pennywise, don't blame me if I can only see Pennywise.
Similar stuff has happened with other villains, maybe not as well known as the edgy Joker stuff. But there comes a point where, in the mainline continuity, a villain commits an act so heinous, that I can no longer see their character past that act. I can look past it most of the time and just accept that comics are inconsistent, there's gonna be a difference in characterisation, it's just when the writers go through a phase of "We must show how evil *guy* can be, the readers will never anticipate just how frightening and depraved they really are!", I find it difficult to ignore.
This also works the other way, for example: ever since the frankly amazing version of Mr Freeze presented in BtAS, comics have struggled to write him as actually evil. We can't go back to the Arnold Schwarzenegger version who wants to plunge the world into the next Ice Age, because we can only think of Freeze as a tragic romantic, desperate to save his wife. The same with Poison Ivy, but that's mainly cause it's harder to claim that she is wrong.
To sum it up, I like a comic where the comedy comes from the juxtaposition of the most emo man alive having to battle a man in green lycra who only speaks in Riddles. I like Mr. I am the Night having to go toe-to-toe with a woman with a comically sized mallet. I want to see more of Gothy McGothFace struggling to get mustard stains out of his suit after a fight with the fucking Condiment King.
You want serious shit with stakes? Use the various mobs and gangs in Gotham, let the clown be funny.
For a house the size of Wayne Manor, surely more than one member of staff is required for the upkeep???
Like this has always been a thing at the back of my mind when reading comics: Surely Alfred can't keep the place running by himself? And if there are other staff, how do they not know about Batman?
I think I've come to a satisfying conclusion.
I believe that Wayne Manor has a public and a private area. Like if you're in Gotham you can tour Wayne Manor, but just the public bit (like if you go to Buckingham Palace). These would be rooms like an art gallery, a collection of historic Gotham artifacts, some rooms made to look how they would have when the Manor was first built, then things like a Ballroom and dining room that the Wayne's hold public events in. Hell, there's even a collection of artifacts the Drake's found on digs, that Tim brought after his dad died, on display.
So there are a lot of staff, but they all stick to the public area. They don't live in the house like Alfred does, just come there to work. This includes custodians, gardeners, and staff that operate the place like a museum. Alfred is kind of like a Manager that you don't see very often, he nips in now and then but generally let's the staff get on with it.
The private wing of the house is where the Wayne's actually live. It's still quite big, but not unnecessarily so. It contains everyone's rooms (which all have en suites), the library, the drawing room, Bruce's study, the kitchen, the pantry, the living room, and the dining room. Each person is responsible for keeping their own space tidy, while Alfred does general household chores throughout the day. This seems a more reasonable size for one man to take care of.
The BatCave doesn't really get cleaned the same way the rest of the house does. Alfred will dust once and a while, but he's not exactly going to mop a cave.
Bruce once caught Vicki Vale trying to sneak into the private wing of the house during a party. He loudly announced that "If she wanted to see his bedroom, all she had to do was ask ;)". Vicki promptly left the party.
Since Bruce has so many children, I like to believe he's developed a Dad Voice™ to let them know when a joke has gone too far, or if he's genuinely annoyed. The effectiveness varies among the children.
Dick:
The effect has kind of worn off by now, so it doesn't work that much. The only person allowed to kill him Richard is Damian, so full naming him doesn't work either.
There was an event where, in a particularly dangerous fight, Bruce tried to get him to fall back, only to be ignored. It was only when he barked out "Robin!" In the Voice™ that the adult Nightwing became glued to his side for the next 10 mins.
Jason:
They've had enough fights that nothing Bruce can say would ever break through. The Voice™ used to work when he was younger, but not anymore. In a particularly bad fight, Bruce full-named him (Jason Peter Todd-Wayne) and Jason broke down in tears. Bruce feels immensely guilty and spent the night trying to reassure Jason that he was not mad at him.
Jason will never admit that he cried because that was the first time he'd been referred to as a Wayne since he came back.
Tim:
While Tim is a very independent person who has used the Dad Voice™ on Bruce in the early years, that does not make him immune.
After pulling several all-nighters and deciding the best place to sleep was on top of the fucking Grandfather Clock that led to the BatCave, Bruce was forced to pull out all the stops. Tim awoke to "Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne, go the fuck to sleep in a normal fucking bed!". The tone was so reminiscent of the late Janet Drake that, before he'd even registered where he was, Tim had marched to his room and tucked himself in.
Steph:
It does not work. Bruce tried it once and it nearly sent her into a panic attack. He refuses to ever use it again.
Tim has tried to full-name here in annoyance before, it does nothing. To be fair, yelling at her whilst covered in glitter isn't the most threatening thing.
Cass:
While not really required for Cass, it wouldn't work in the first place. In fact, the opposite works. Bruce called her Cassie one day and she stuck to his side like glue while he worked. This effect tends to happen with any terms of endearment. Bruce has made a note to ensure he keeps up the nicknames.
Damian:
It works very well with Damian. Especially useful in the early days where Damian was ridiculously stubborn and would act before thinking.
In addition to Bruce, Dick is also able to use the Voice™. He doesn't use it often though. Dick did have to full-name him when he woke up to find Batcow in his bedroom. This was also his first introduction to Batcow.
Duke:
While Duke will insist that it doesn't work on him because Bruce is not his dad, the voice does trigger some fight or flight instinct in him that has him standing to attention.
There was one event where, upon being full-named, he did that same right back to Bruce. There was a good few seconds of silence before Stephanie burst out laughing.
While Bruce may use the Dad Voice™ to varying degrees of success, Alfred's Grandfather Voice™ never fails.
Two of Two-Face's goons stand guard outside a warehouse that contains exactly $2,222,222 inside (all $2 bills of course). The night is clear for once, not a bat in the sky, and thus, boredom arises.
John: You know, I got to thinking last time the Bat put me in hospital.
Dave: Of course ya did. And what, pray tell, did your concussed melon come up with?
John: I gots a theory about the Bats and shit. I think they're all family or some shit.
Dave: What, like Batman is runnin' around with an army of his tight-wearin' kids?
John: Yeah! An' I'll tell you this for free: I think he's Bruce Wayne.
Dave: You sure you're not still concussed?
John: No! Think about it. Bruce Wayne has 7 kids, and there's 7 freaks out here that always stick close to the big man! They ages add up an' all!
Dave: What? He doesn't have 7 kids. Surely not.
John: Yeah, you got the circus kid, that was the first one I think, the dead one, the Drake boy, the girl, the blonde one that hangs out with the girl, the tiny one, and the new one.
Dave: Yeah, but the dead one is, ya know, dead?
John: EXACTLY! Remember when Robin disappeared for a month or two then showed up again and was like, a whole different guy????
Dave: Yeah... Oh shit, you might be on to something! Right, so who's who then?
John: Well the old one is probably Nightwing. Like didn't the Grayson kid move out at some point an' move to Blüd?
Dave: That explains why he still shows up here sometimes. That's kinda sweet, helping out his old man.
John: I'm not so sure about the rest though.
Dave: I betcha that Spoiler, ya know, the purple one, is that Drake kid.
John: I thought it would be the blonde given she's, ya know... Blonde?
Dave: Exactly what they want you to think! I saw a photo in the papers the other day of the Drake kid, his fingernails were purple, it's a sign, like the illuminate thing on the dollar!
John: Then blondie is the one in the full face mask, has to hide all that fuckin' hair.
Dave: Then the girl is Robin, the older one that is. Fuck! Have we been misgenderin' Robin this whole fucking time?
John: Maybe it's like one of those drag race things my kid keeps going on about, like she's a she, but is a he when bein' Robin. I don't know.
Dave: I watched that Drag Race thing the other day with my wife, not bad actually, very entertainin'. Anyway, what about the short one? With the knife?
John: Well obviously that's the butler.
Dave: Ya think?
John: NO ya doofus, it's the little one, Damian or some shit. Ya know, the kid that carries around a fucking knife????
Dave: Jeez, no need to yell!
John: Sorry. Anyway- I have a theory about that one. I think that he's the dead one.
Dave: You're definitely concussed man.
John: No! Remember when Riddler did that weird shit with the bandages on his face? He cured himself by going to that swimming pool Al Ghul owns?
Dave: That was a weird time...
John: Not important. So suddenly this new kid appears, already grown a bit, already trained to be Robin, and claims to be related to Al Ghul? That's the Todd kid, just got better.
Dave: Oh my god, you've blown this wide open! We need to tell someone! Think of the money we'd get. Do we tell the bossman? Do we blackmail the rich fucks?
At this point, The Red Hood, who's been chilling in the rafters for an hour, having already set fire to the money, drops right on top of the two. He pistol whips the two in quick succession and goes home.
He was on the phone with Dick so he could listen in as well, but he hung up when they mentioned that he was the brat. Hopefully they're concussed enough to forget.
Jim Gordon, on a recent visit to Arkham, overheard from the guards that a certain caped vigilante kept breaking through their security to make personal visits. I mean, Arkham security is shit as is, he didn't need one of the Bats fucking breaking their system every other week! I mean, what were they thinking?
Now Gordon is faced with a dilemma, which Bat did it?
He makes an awkward housecall to the Manor, and has to relay the news to an in-cowl Bruce that one of his kids has been causing even more trouble for the Arkham guards. Bruce says nothing other than a small "mm". Gordon removes his glasses to clean them and, in that time, Bruce is gone. Well, not his problem anymore... He needs a vacation.
Bruce sends an alert out to all his kids with a memo to not, under any circumstances, break into Arkham! There's one issue though, more than one Bat was responsible.
Every Sunday, Dick brings the leftovers from Sunday Lunch to Waylon. The circus used to do a big lunch on Sundays, which became the allotted rest time with no training or shows. As such, Dick likes to keep the tradition alive when he can.
You're not allowed to bring food into Arkham, so Dick has to shimmy both himself and the food through the sewers to get to Waylon's cage cell. It's worth it though, just for the reminder that Waylon is more than his moniker, he's the oldest family Dick has.
Dick has convinced Alfred that the leftovers go to Goliath (bones and all).
Jason, as a criminal himself, finds it very easy to get into Arkham. The hard part is getting back out. Every few weeks, he lets himself get caught, purely to beat the crap out of Black Mask, laugh in his face, then break back out.
Initially, he broke in to kill the Joker, but he panicked before he could get to the whole floor used to house him. As such, Jason refuses to go below level -2 in order to stay out of range of that goddamm laughter.
Listen, if Tim wanted a villain to match him in wits, he could go to Ra's, issue is he doesn't want some creepy old man drooling all over him. So instead Tim plays board games with the self-proclaimed 'Riddle Master'.
It started with Nygma managed to get hold of a phone and sent Tim a request on Chess.com. The device was soon confiscated, but now, every Thursday evening, Tim loops the camera footage while he and Ed play various boardgames, ranging from Chess, to Monopoly, to Hungry Hippos (there are not a lot of boardgames in Arkham).
Steph typically sneaks in around the same time as Tim, the cameras are already looping after all (Tim has no idea she's there). Once in, she tracks down one or more than the Gotham City Sirens for a catch up. She keeps 3 thermoses on her for whatever siren she can find. Peppermint tea for Harley, coffee for Selina, and Vodka for Pamela.
The best days are when all three are in, then they all migrate to whatever plant-filled lair Pamela has cultivated, chilling and gossiping until Tim finishes up with Nygma.
If Cluemaster keeps finding scratches, spray paint, and foliage on his shit, well, the Sirens have no idea what you're talking about.
Cass does not have much desire to talk to any of the various costumed rogues. She does however, wish to analyse some of them. It's hard to get time to properly observe anyone when, as soon as they see her, they take off in fear. Thus, the arrangement was made.
Every Tuesday morning, Cass slips through the ventilation system before appearing in the cell of one Jonathan Crane. The two will sit on the ground, legs in a basket, and stare at each other, taking occasional notes. At the end of the hour, they will trade notes and tick/cross points depending on accuracy.
Jonathan likes the opportunity to analyse a subject without their constant jabbering (cough *Edward* cough). He's also the only person who cannot fear Black Bat.
A note from Crane may be:
Tired. Long patrol. Estimated sleep 3 hrs 30 mins.
(✔️ 3 hrs 15 mins)
And a note from Cass:
Tendon twitch, wear leg brace tomorrow.
Damian doesn't visit Arkham. He instead pet-sits for Harley sometimes. Lou and Bud are surprisingly well trained and oddly affectionate when not attacking someone. So Damian checks in on them while their mother is locked up. This has resulted in a weird situation where, after Joker tried to sick the hyenas on Robin, they instead bounded over and flopped over for belly scratched.
The only time(s) Damian has broken into the Asylum was to deliver pictures of what the two hyenas got up to in his care to Harley. These pictures have included:
Bud standing on top of Lou so that he can pull food from the higher up cabinets. (Not captured was Alfred's confusion at how paw prints were on the cabinet doors).
Lou, having tried to drink out the toilet, with the seat stuck round his head after being ripped from the porcelain.
Both hyenas fast asleep cuddled up to Batcow (the only meat they do not eat). (Also not captured was how Damian joined them straight after).
Duke patrols during the day, so no need to break in. He simply takes the time to visit every Monday morning. There's a serious case of the Mondays among the rogues as a walking lightbulb wakes everyone up on his patrol of the halls.
You ever been sleeping, however uncomfortably, when the full concentrated force of the fucking Sun suddenly appears, with a weirdly wide grin, loudly exclaiming about how wonderful a day it is outside and what not? It would make you commit crimes as well.
The villain who gets it the worst is Penguin since, by the time he gets to his cell, Duke is singing Good Morning from Singing in the Rain. It's juuuuust off-key enough to piss Oswald off even more.
After Bruce sends the alert out, all of the Birds decide to stop their break-ins for a while, at least until the heat has died down. This has unexpected consequences. By the time the weekend rolls around, Jim Gordon shows up, even more exasperated than before. He reports a change in Arkham:
Waylon has been picking fights with staff, and has been unable to subdue. He keeps ranting about birds and circuses and Sundays roasts? Then there's Sionis, who is convinced that there's something hiding in the shadows, waiting for him to drop his guard. He's even more hysterical than Jervis now, which is quite the achievement.
Then there are the Riddler and Scarecrow, who have both claimed to have been 'bored'. That doesn't seem like a good enough excuse for tearing the wires out the fucking walls in order to build a fucking robot, or for gassing almost every warden who walks past him.
Ivy, Harley and Selina have been weirdly quiet, which was very disconcerting. Well, it was until all three escaped at the same time. Harley immediately reuniting with Lou and Bud, who had been terrorising a local park for the last few days.
Throughout the weird shift in tempers in the Asylum, the weirdest one seems to be Oswald, who seems better rested than ever?
Jim visiting Arkham would have been during the day. Those were dayshift guards complaining about a vigilante circumventing their protocols. Duke is they only one visiting during the day and generally being a menace. They were complaining about Duke.
Yeah, most of them are complaining about Duke. The few Nightshift guards still there when Jim pops round? Oh they seem haunted. They've seen some shit.
Bruce keeps making out sloppy style with Two-Face.
Jim Gordon, on a recent visit to Arkham, overheard from the guards that a certain caped vigilante kept breaking through their security to make personal visits. I mean, Arkham security is shit as is, he didn't need one of the Bats fucking breaking their system every other week! I mean, what were they thinking?
Now Gordon is faced with a dilemma, which Bat did it?
He makes an awkward housecall to the Manor, and has to relay the news to an in-cowl Bruce that one of his kids has been causing even more trouble for the Arkham guards. Bruce says nothing other than a small "mm". Gordon removes his glasses to clean them and, in that time, Bruce is gone. Well, not his problem anymore... He needs a vacation.
Bruce sends an alert out to all his kids with a memo to not, under any circumstances, break into Arkham! There's one issue though, more than one Bat was responsible.
Every Sunday, Dick brings the leftovers from Sunday Lunch to Waylon. The circus used to do a big lunch on Sundays, which became the allotted rest time with no training or shows. As such, Dick likes to keep the tradition alive when he can.
You're not allowed to bring food into Arkham, so Dick has to shimmy both himself and the food through the sewers to get to Waylon's cage cell. It's worth it though, just for the reminder that Waylon is more than his moniker, he's the oldest family Dick has.
Dick has convinced Alfred that the leftovers go to Goliath (bones and all).
Jason, as a criminal himself, finds it very easy to get into Arkham. The hard part is getting back out. Every few weeks, he lets himself get caught, purely to beat the crap out of Black Mask, laugh in his face, then break back out.
Initially, he broke in to kill the Joker, but he panicked before he could get to the whole floor used to house him. As such, Jason refuses to go below level -2 in order to stay out of range of that goddamm laughter.
Listen, if Tim wanted a villain to match him in wits, he could go to Ra's, issue is he doesn't want some creepy old man drooling all over him. So instead Tim plays board games with the self-proclaimed 'Riddle Master'.
It started with Nygma managed to get hold of a phone and sent Tim a request on Chess.com. The device was soon confiscated, but now, every Thursday evening, Tim loops the camera footage while he and Ed play various boardgames, ranging from Chess, to Monopoly, to Hungry Hippos (there are not a lot of boardgames in Arkham).
Steph typically sneaks in around the same time as Tim, the cameras are already looping after all (Tim has no idea she's there). Once in, she tracks down one or more than the Gotham City Sirens for a catch up. She keeps 3 thermoses on her for whatever siren she can find. Peppermint tea for Harley, coffee for Selina, and Vodka for Pamela.
The best days are when all three are in, then they all migrate to whatever plant-filled lair Pamela has cultivated, chilling and gossiping until Tim finishes up with Nygma.
If Cluemaster keeps finding scratches, spray paint, and foliage on his shit, well, the Sirens have no idea what you're talking about.
Cass does not have much desire to talk to any of the various costumed rogues. She does however, wish to analyse some of them. It's hard to get time to properly observe anyone when, as soon as they see her, they take off in fear. Thus, the arrangement was made.
Every Tuesday morning, Cass slips through the ventilation system before appearing in the cell of one Jonathan Crane. The two will sit on the ground, legs in a basket, and stare at each other, taking occasional notes. At the end of the hour, they will trade notes and tick/cross points depending on accuracy.
Jonathan likes the opportunity to analyse a subject without their constant jabbering (cough *Edward* cough). He's also the only person who cannot fear Black Bat.
A note from Crane may be:
Tired. Long patrol. Estimated sleep 3 hrs 30 mins.
(✔️ 3 hrs 15 mins)
And a note from Cass:
Tendon twitch, wear leg brace tomorrow.
Damian doesn't visit Arkham. He instead pet-sits for Harley sometimes. Lou and Bud are surprisingly well trained and oddly affectionate when not attacking someone. So Damian checks in on them while their mother is locked up. This has resulted in a weird situation where, after Joker tried to sick the hyenas on Robin, they instead bounded over and flopped over for belly scratched.
The only time(s) Damian has broken into the Asylum was to deliver pictures of what the two hyenas got up to in his care to Harley. These pictures have included:
Bud standing on top of Lou so that he can pull food from the higher up cabinets. (Not captured was Alfred's confusion at how paw prints were on the cabinet doors).
Lou, having tried to drink out the toilet, with the seat stuck round his head after being ripped from the porcelain.
Both hyenas fast asleep cuddled up to Batcow (the only meat they do not eat). (Also not captured was how Damian joined them straight after).
Duke patrols during the day, so no need to break in. He simply takes the time to visit every Monday morning. There's a serious case of the Mondays among the rogues as a walking lightbulb wakes everyone up on his patrol of the halls.
You ever been sleeping, however uncomfortably, when the full concentrated force of the fucking Sun suddenly appears, with a weirdly wide grin, loudly exclaiming about how wonderful a day it is outside and what not? It would make you commit crimes as well.
The villain who gets it the worst is Penguin since, by the time he gets to his cell, Duke is singing Good Morning from Singing in the Rain. It's juuuuust off-key enough to piss Oswald off even more.
After Bruce sends the alert out, all of the Birds decide to stop their break-ins for a while, at least until the heat has died down. This has unexpected consequences. By the time the weekend rolls around, Jim Gordon shows up, even more exasperated than before. He reports a change in Arkham:
Waylon has been picking fights with staff, and has been unable to subdue. He keeps ranting about birds and circuses and Sundays roasts? Then there's Sionis, who is convinced that there's something hiding in the shadows, waiting for him to drop his guard. He's even more hysterical than Jervis now, which is quite the achievement.
Then there are the Riddler and Scarecrow, who have both claimed to have been 'bored'. That doesn't seem like a good enough excuse for tearing the wires out the fucking walls in order to build a fucking robot, or for gassing almost every warden who walks past him.
Ivy, Harley and Selina have been weirdly quiet, which was very disconcerting. Well, it was until all three escaped at the same time. Harley immediately reuniting with Lou and Bud, who had been terrorising a local park for the last few days.
Throughout the weird shift in tempers in the Asylum, the weirdest one seems to be Oswald, who seems better rested than ever?
Every Friday night, the inmates are allowed to play one (1) boardgame. This is a holy night in the eyes of the Gotham Rogues, and, as such, they discuss which boardgame to play with passion and vigor.
The list of possible games has been whittled down over the years by both the inmates and the guards. The inmates if they have deemed the game 'unfair' and the guards if the game seems too dangerous. Here's some excerpts from these sacred nights:
Monopoly
Seemed like the most obvious option for a game when game night was first brought up by Harley. Turns out, Dent is an even bigger stickler for the rules than Nygma, someone needs to keep an eye on Selina at all times lest she start stealing money, and Oswald is too good at deals. Honestly, that man managed to convince Ivy to give him both utilities by appealing to her conservationist ideals.
Poker
Gambling isn't as fun when there's no money involved, but it's the thought that counts. Joker doesn't know the rules, but has an excellent poker face (helps he can only make one facial expression). Jervis keeps muttering passages from Lewis Carrol, giving away his cards. Both Edward and Selina have been counting cards the entire time. Cards are too small for Waylon to hold. All in all, not very fun for all involved.
Mousetrap
Since he lost so pathetically at Poker, Jervis got to pick the next game. The issue with mousetrap is there's always at least one piece missing, which leads to Jervis frantically searching the common area for a full 45 minutes. Eventually, the rest of the rogues get bored and move on to something else. Jonathan eventually sticks the small man with some contraband fear toxin he had, just for something to do.
Don't Wake the Crocodile
Waylon, after a recent admission, had been tranqued to high hell and was taking a nap during game night. Joker and Harley started a game of balancing items on the croc's head, later roping in Crane and Selina. Crane can't feel fear, so wasn't too concerned with the activity, Selina is just very confident in her abilities. Ed tried to sabotage the game by bumping into Selina, waking Waylon. Unfortunately for Ed, he was blamed for the debacle and was summarily thrown into a wall.
Twister
Since Nygma really didn't want to miss out on game night, despite being on crutches and having a concussion, the gang decided on Twister, allowing him to spin the dial. The game didn't actually go too badly. First few out were Oswald, Jonathan and Waylon, for the reasons of age, stiffness, and size respectively. Next were Harvey, Pamela and Bane. All reasonably twisty (when not full of venom). Pamela was disqualified when she used a vine to keep her center of balance. Next was Jervis, whose height betrayed him. Then finally Selina, who discovered that leather has its limits. No one was surprised at Harley's ability to contort herself. What was surprising, was just how bendy the Joker was. There was no official winner, since the two eventually resorted to making out mid game.
Chess
Chess is more of a two player game, but this was before game night became a tradition. It started as a game between Harvey and Oswald, which developed into a tournament of sorts. Predictably, Edward won. It then developed into everyone Vs Edward, who wore noise cancelling headphones so the others could strategize. After winning 5 in a row, the losing team decided to sabotage the man. Problem is they all enacted their plans at once:
Oswald dug the tip of his umbrella into Nygma's foot.
Ivy sprayed him with some form of pollen (it was normal pollen, the man has allergies).
Joker simply stabbed the man in the gut.
Jervis slips a hallucinogen into his coffee.
Jonathan does the same with fear toxin.
Selina starts stealing his pawns.
Harley tries to look very sad.
By the end of the game, Edward is bleeding, bruised, sneezing, hallucinating, panicking, delirious, and exhausted. He puts the rogues into checkmate before fainting straight onto the board.
The guards have stopped allowing game night. They do movie night instead.
You know all those fics and hcs where Dick thinks Jason is a hallucination and doesn't realise he's alive?
I love this idea as much as the next person, but something has always rubbed me the wrong way: If Dick has been hallucinating Robin!Jason, surely adult Jason, built like a fridge, in a different outfit and attitude, would immediately seem strange? Red Hood looks vastly different from Robin, so I don't think Dick's first thought would be, "Oh, the hallucination grew up".
I propose a different idea:
Dick walks in on Jason trying to kill Tim in Titans Tower. Jason is in his old Robin costume. Yeah, he's bigger than he was, but that's hard to tell when he's mid fight.
From Dick's perspective, the hallucination of his younger brother, the same hallucination that has been reiterating over and over how Dick failed, how he couldn't save Jason, how he won't be able to save Tim, the same hallucination that he has witnessed get beaten by the Joker, with a crowbar stuck through his chest, THAT hallucination is currently beating up Tim with the same crowbar.
So Dick thinks logically, obviously this is also a hallucination of Tim. This is his mind re-enforcing that the Robin name is cursed and that he cannot save Tim.
From Tim's perspective, Dick has wandered into view and ignored his pleas for help. His older brother is just watching as the Robin Tim replaced tries to kill him. Tim has 2 theories:
1. This is a test of some kind. He needs to prove to Dick that he can fight the intruder off without help, that he is better than this Jason-look-alike.
2. This is really Jason, back from the dead. Since Tim was only a temporary Robin, Dick and Jason are simply "taking out the trash". Can't have some kid knowing their identities and all.
From Jason's perspective, through a green-tinted haze, Boy Wonder has just witnessed him beat up a child and done nothing???? This only makes him more angry. Once he's done with his substitute, he's going for Goldie.
Dick only realises something is up when Tim socks Jason in the nuts. Jason stumbles into Dick, knocking them both over.
