trigger warning, suicide mentioned.
someone in my area jumped in front of a train today. I found out as I left my house; my friend messaged me saying he would be late to school because of a “fatality” at my local train station. I saw ambulance and police at that train station.
I went to period one, and two people in my physics class were late to school. They told me it was crowded on the bus because kids from another high school couldn’t catch the train; they had to go by bus instead. It was so crowded that it was impossible to get here on time.
I remember talking about it nearly every period. My friend told me that her teacher had to do to our vice principal and warn her. In case it was a student of our own.
I got home and everything seemed normal, but something was missing. I remember saying that it’s hard to see what’s going to happen. A friend of mine told me that if he was at the station earlier, maybe he could have saved a life. I remember the same friend telling me he couldn’t feel sad because of it - it didn’t make him sad that someone he didn’t know died. I can’t say I don’t blame him.
I was scrolling through facebook. A former prefect at my school shared something. A boy took his school bag off his back, and in his uniform, stepped in front of a ongoing train today. I realised that this was a lot more personal. I realised this was a kid. And something, someone had driven him to death.
He unloaded his bag as if it were the weight of the world on his shoulders. It’s a Wednesday night and I feel as if the world lost something today. Not many would be grieving, but I feel as though that could have been me today. And I wonder if all the times I wanted to kill myself... if a stranger would be grieve the same way I am grieving this boy.
I wonder if I would get help if I wanted to do that again. I wonder if I would jump. I wonder if one day I will die the same way he did; I wonder if people would care.
I hope someone realises that I don’t want you all to die like that. I miss this boy and I don’t even know his name or what school he went to. I hope you get help if you need it. I hope someone loves you; if no one does, I will. Please. This isn’t a soppy story; this is life or death.
I want you to choose life. I don’t want you to be missed by a stranger - I want to love you before it’s too late.
it’s your anniversary today. i haven’t stopped thinking you, stranger <3































