Not Cable's MAN BAZOOKAS!

Okay, but at what point am I unacceptably old?

[thecheatinghomunculus]

new reaction image

[rural-panoptes]

[saintjosie]

[damnpharos]

[captain-price-unofficially]

[deerkibble]

[sneakyspades]

[neraiutsuze]

[evermore-fashion]

Sara Mrad 'Botanical Alchemy' Fall 2024 Haute Couture Collection

[notund]

this post's hypothetical by itself is already ridiculous but the thing that gets me is how the wording implies two very funny things that become funnier in tandem

1. "Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby" means this is a mistake on the pitcher's part. i imagine the pitcher is breastfeeding on the field and they pitch and they look down at their hands and they see the ball still in the glove and they go "fuck"

2. hitting the baby will still win you the game

[tidal-chaos]

[amorkuku]

could we get more Damian please? He’s such a creature here and I’m loving it

I think he immediately approaches if someone says “pspsps” out loud

[zegalba]

Grasshopper's Dream Cafe Located: Jeongseon, South Korea

[foreveriallyzombified]

BUG SEX HEADQUARTERS

[rae-conteur]

how DARE you try to leave this in the tags

[destiel-news-channel]

[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'There's a petition to ban conversion therapy in the EU' to Cas' 'I love you'. /End ID]

If you are a citizen in the EU please sign this petition:

European Citizens' Initiative

Give your support !

[queermarzipan]

Did you sign?

Yes (EU Citizen)

I can't, but I'm reblogging

Voting ended onJun 3, 2024

[thepineapplepanda]

What if we hyperfixated together? 😗 JK JK… unless- 😏

[lady-lycany]

I laughed so hard at this 😭😭😭😭 gosh I love the drawing lmfaooo

[nerdpoe]

There's an up-and-coming Tech Giant, called Fenton Works, and Batman is determined to prove that the company is a front for a villain.

Danny, after his parents turned from Ghost hunting to being the first official Ghost Anthropologists, decided to repurpose some of their weapons.

And, well, there was a contest being run by Wayne Enterprises; whoever can design a robot that will help the environment got prize money and a grant.

Danny, in all his mechanical engineering prowess, was bored. So he designed a thing. Repurposed the Fenton Guns into a cute robotic tortoise that would clean the beach.

It spiraled from there, and now Fenton Works is the leading name in green technology that's cleaning up the Earth bit by bit. Sea Dragon robots that clean oil and trash from the ocean; beach tortoises that clean the sand and beach and deposit their hoard of trash into designated receptacles that Danny uses as material to make more robots; Cryptid "stalker" robots with long legs that delicately patrol forests to perform "fuel management" and clear out the underbrush to help manage wildfires; moving gargoyle robots that sit on top of skyscrapers to help clean the air with huge sail-like wings, etc.

Basically, Danny pulls a Doctor Elisabet Sobeck, but with less world ending and more actually helping. (Not that the world ending was Elisabet's fault, of course, but different franchise)

And due to the number of times aliens try to attack and rogues send their own robots to attack people, naturally Danny installed self-defense protocols, along with one single golden rule written into the very OS of every single robot; Save Humans Whatever the Cost.

Problem is, Batman has never seen robots like this not be used for evil purposes, and he knows that their power source (a closely guarded Fenton Works secret) is some sort of liquid that glows green.

He really only knows of one liquid that glows green.

So he's determined to find everything he can about Fenton Works, because there's no way that Daniel Fenton isn't actually a villain in the making.

Danny's just thrilled for the chance to work with Wayne Enterprises.

[evilminji]

Oh this? This is BEAUTIFUL. Especially since there is no way in hell Aquaman is gonna let him touch a hair on this boy's head. You think Atlantis DIDNT threaten to sink every last one of those Sea Dragons? They aren't fools. Those were Threat Shaped.

Fenton had to come in front of a TEAM of Atlantis finest, who of course, agreed to sign NDAs, to explain WHO they worked IN DETAIL to their satisfaction. The boy was glad too. Those Dragons have fuckin Atlantian GAURDS now to prevent external tampering.

He even made Atlantian "Air" purifiers in the shape of jellyfish to clean up the waters near Atlantis. Insure the young, elderly, and infirmed had clean water to breathe. After all the shit humans have pulled towards Atlantis? Absolutely NOT. Danny Fenton both CLEARLY a few fish short of a school AND a the most precious baby boy in all of Atlantis. Let him make his helper animals.

They're pretty sure he has some sort of compulsive NEED to help.

And also? Save Humans Whatever The Cost? Imagine that. No REALLY imagine it. Being out at sea or camping way out in the middle of NO WHERE when some invasion hits. The sky splitting open.

Death starting to rain from above.

You have no where to hide.

Can only look up in horror. Scream and hold your kids, who you just wanted to make memories with, as you watch DEATH get closer and closer. You're crying. Alone. Will anyone even find your family's bodies?

Then SUDDENLY?

The sea or tea line SPLITS. Like a titan rising from the deep. You've seen them, meandering on the horizon. On the news. Those Fenton Work Green Works projects. Pretty and harmless, just poking along as they slowly save the world. Made to look non-threatening.

It doesn't look non-threatening now. It glows a poisonous green. Some giant SEA DRAGON or SPIDER like THING. Firing a concentrated beam of SOMETHING that cuts straight though the aliens about to tear your family apart. Flinging them back and away. And suddenly?

You are in the shadow of that colossal beast. As it fires, again and again. As the world BOOMS and shakes, full of fury and smoke. You feel so small. But... but the Green Works beast is... protecting you? Every attack that should have hit your family, it takes.

It's once pristine body, slowly gathering cracks, then holes, then missing chunks.

Somewhere in the world, superheroes force the enemy leaders back. The sky starts to clear. The Green Works beast backs away, teetering, barely holding. An automated message plays, "We are sorry for the scare. We here at Fenton Works prioritize lives over property. If anyone is injured, please, seek medical aid immediately. There is an emergency beacon and kit in this robot. Deploying."

A box pops out to either land with a thump or splash, sitting or float just in from of you, as the Green Works beast just... falls.

And it's like watching some giant and brave animal DIE in front of you. Maybe it's because of how it's shaped. Maybe the fact that it save you. But you can barely see past the tears as you struggle to open the emergency kit. Turn on that beacon, so help can find you.

And the only reason you're ALIVE is because of some cleaning robot you never gave thought too. And now it feels like it's dead because of you.

I imagine such stories make the news. The grieving faces of kids who's school bus was protected by a gargoyle. Of fishermen protected by Sea Dragons. Hikers who are only alive because of those walkers.

I imagine NONE of that reassures Batman. It is, in fact, the most terrifying sort of charm campaign he could imagine. Humanity LOVES these robots. Believes them benevolent. Bruce? He needs to be SURE.

[blueflipflops]

God when that happens you'd better bet that humans are going pack bond the hell outta those beasts. Heartfelt stories shared across the world. People getting tattoos of their fave Green Works beast. People visiting the beach petting the robot turtles. Sailors tales of the sea guardians that protect them. People putting silly little hats and gloves for the gargoyles so that they won't "get cold" at night. These robots are very friend shaped, Batman! We love them!

[evilminji]

Oh that EXACTLY what's gonna happen. And it's not like Fenton works doesn't have beacon trackers in their tech? That's really expensive tech! That Weirdos keep trying to steal or mess with! Of COURSE he has trackers in them. A way to tell when one is rendered off line.

Invasions are a nightmare to clean up from. You send out rescues teams, have to find your robots, most of which are TRASHED because, well... people were in danger. Even the mouse-bots are down. They are literally just build for infrastructure inspection and minor maintenance. But a Universal Command is a Universal Command.

Imagine that CHAOS. People crying and holding bits and boxes of "their hero!" Outside of Fenton works offices. Crowds simmering on the edge of RIOTS because everyone is upset and desperate to see the robot that saved their LIFE fixed up.

Some of them drove hundreds of miles. There are urban robots, forestry robots, beach turtles, literally every gargoyle that was IN the city. Because Every. Single. Robot. Turned on the Invading forces.

They just... stopped. Turned around. And opened fire. A city wide "Not Today, fucker." But it COST them. Being the first response? Made them the first TARGETS too. Before the Heros, before law enforcement, first responders, anyone. The invaders clearly assumed they were a planetary defense system. Acted accordingly.

So now about over 9 out of every 10 Fenton works Robots are down.

Their technicians are scrambling at full speed to repair and release. It... would be a PERFECT time, for Brucie Wayne to offer his help. Arthur is glaring DEATH into the side of his skull. His eye promising terrible, terrible retribution if Bruce messes with Fenton works while they are down, but...

He has to know.

Has to be CERTAIN.

Besides, if they ARE benevolent? Wayne Tech HAS the work force and history of charity outreach. They can help. Would you prefer LUTHOR?

(That's not the only Tech name in the game and you KNOW it, Batman.)

[nerdpoe]

Only one single gargoyle left standing in Gotham; it's down a wing but still functional, and the repair shops are so full that Danny's allowing it to stay where it is and do it's job to the best of it's ability.

The people of Gotham are raving about this tiny gargoyle ("Tiny", hah-due to how much air they clean and the wingspan required for that, their bodies are easily ten to fifteen feet tall) and desperately trying to sneak into the building it's stationed itself on; the only building it could reach when an invader ripped off it's wing.

Wayne Enterprises.

Truckers coming from Amnesty Bay with Sea Dragons loaded up on them-massive machines that easily reach hundreds of feet long, who were coiled up and secured on the biggest trucks they could find. Construction companies voluntarily diverted cranes from less effected areas to hoist the Dragons onto the trucks.

On one of those coiled up sea beasts there's Atlantean jewelry-Mera will never admit it openly, but that one is her favorite; there were children being pulled out by a riptide, and one of them was falling faster than the other, and before she could control the water that huge Mechanical Beast just maneuvered under the kid and floated to the surface.

So sometimes when Arthur want's to visit home, she'll disappear to add another pretty bauble to Ztsal.

Yes, she named it. The beast is too noble to lack something as basic as a name.

Yes, she's very worried about it; it hasn't been seen since the invasion.

The trucker in charge of Ztsal has no idea that it's treasured by the Atlantean Queen; it's just one of his town's little dragon buddies that needs to be fixed.

Rednecks from deep in the woods come tearing into town in their beat-up pickups, huge fifteen-foot Wendigo-esque creepy cryptid machines that were torn apart as they stood between the invaders and the campers behind them shoved into truck beds and trailers.

The robots are creepy and offputting, but the city-goers treat them with respect all the same.

Surfer bros coming in with heavy af Machine Tortoises in their cars, the Tortoises sparking and depleted-some of them did the Last Resort shielding; where the metal plates in their shells deployed and stuck to the ectoplasmic shield to reinforce it.

Entire groups of regular beach goers dragging along a tortoise they've named Frank, who used to have their signatures on it's shell before it was forced to use the Last Resort to save the people who put those names there.

By the time Bruce Wayne shows up with his R&D department to help, Danny's ready to cry from relief and almost forgets to make them sign the NDAs.

The Machines themselves, with ectoplasm as a fuel source, have picked up the emotions from the people that surround them.

They don't have the capacity for higher thought, barely have the capacity for emotion, but there's one thing that they know for sure; they love their people.

And even if that code wasn't written into their OS, they'd still Save Humans No Matter The Cost.

[lunasguard]

[fairy-lights-and-blobs]

That's how you know the time of operation of a Sea Dragon. They pick up all kinds of marine life, including coral spores, and as their internals start failing, they start promoting coral growth on their outer shell, and plankton development within their chassis, as preparation for a "dragonfall".

Sending out one last farewell signal, the Dragon swims out to open waters, wherein it'll sink to the bottom, curl up around the preexisting coral and/or jutting stone formations, and their battery finally drains permanently.

They say a whale fall is a blessing upon the depths.

A dragon fall is akin to divine intervention, reshaping the land and restoring life to long-abandoned stretches of ocean.

[nerdpoe]

yessssssssssssssssss i love thissssssssssssssssssssssssssss

[strange-birb]

Had to when I saw the quote lol

I love Jason sm 😂

Og post @batfam-imagines

[inkstaindusk]

knight/lord ships are like. what if i would die for you. what if i wanted you to live for me. what if i wanted to touch you but could only be satisfied with being near you. what if i could touch you but only through the safety of our gloves. what if i couldn’t stop thinking about you right next to me. what if i bloodied my hands for you and never looked back at the wreckage. what then

[inkstaindusk]

what if i wasn’t allowed to love you. what if i loved you anyway. what if you knew and i knew but we wouldn’t dare to take that step. what if we made meaningful eye contact as i knelt at your feet and devoted my whole being to you. what if i whispered your name for only you to hear

[inkstaindusk]

“my lord” is actually something that can be so personal

[inkstaindusk]

what if i said “my lord” but i actually meant “my love”

[damazcuz]

Certain words can change your brain forever and ever so you do have to be very careful about it.

[omghotmemes]

Senpai says you’re welcome

[quintusbenedictus]

Reblogging again because I just realized that if I had this advice in high school I would’ve never made a tumblr account.

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Also works for most of those news sites like WSJ or NYT that only let you read a little bit, or block adblockers. Also some disable the scroll bar but if you go to the right side of the console after hitting F12 and look for the CSS element “overflow” and change it from “hidden” to “visible” then you can continue scrolling for free. Might have to click around on different parts of the page to find it, but it should work.

[ralfmaximus]

There’s also a Firefox/Chrome extension called Behind The Overlay that does all that with one mouse click. Used it for years; what a time saver.

And if you encounter a true paywall, use Archive.Today to bypass it. Just paste the paywalled url into the blue “search archived snapshots” box near the bottom:

[storycollectorstash]

Spiderpunk / Hobie Brown GIF set

[pbnmj]

THE NOIR-HOBIE INTERACTIONS THAT I MADE UP IN MY MIND ARE VERY REAL TO ME. SONY PLEASE PICK UP WHAT I’M PUTTING DOWN!!!

[mammutblog]

tim gets de-age-beamed and jason is forced to stay at the manor because timmy only wants to hang out with his favourite robin

[dippersballoon]

I saw an opportunity and I took it

[offline-kinq]

This is what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die

[udon-tea]

For those wondering, the song is ”Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO.

Perhaps someone beat me to it, but here are ALL of the featured vines, in order of appearance:

I won’t hesitate bitch

Hi my name is Tre and I have a basketball game tomorrow

Whaddup, I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how 2 read

Kermit the Frog jumps off building

Fr e sh a voca do

back at it again at Krispy Kreme

There is only one thing worse than a rapist

Club Jam (yes a really good book)

At least the taco was free

I am the Sand Guardian, guardian of the sand

Grandma loves ping pong too much

If your name is Junior

Welcome to Target

I’m just cooking pizza

Cole Sprouse dress-up game

On all levels except physical, I am a Wolf

Kid hits ceiling of gym with rope (breaking free)

Kid smacked by fly swatter

Fuck it up Kenneth (my boy going to school)

Um I’m not finished (Tyler the Creator)

WE’RE BREAKING FREE

SAIL

I’m Squidward

So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies

So no head? (breaking skateboard)

Actually, Megan (I can’t sit anywhere)

No off topic questions (Chris Christie)

What the fuck, Richard

Drop it like it’s hot (its just luke)

Bored as shiiiiii

Liberian accent (plasma globe)

New haircut (Parker Kit Hill)

Summertime sadness (chicken)

More like hurricane TORTILLA

I got an a-bor-tion

All Around the World (TheJasminator)

When there’s a cutie next to you at a red light

Snake licks lollipop

Accept yourself, love yourself

Be whatever you wanna be

Don’t touch Zac’s music (LENARR)

Whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho

Can I please get a waffle?

Turn off the flash you fucking moron (Star Wars)

Ebony Jenkins (shut up!)

Kevin, watch the light dude

Horse meditation

A girl a dream & a clothing hanger

Is that a weed? (911 microwave)

Helium balloons (floating car)

Fireplace fairy

I’m your freestyle dance teacher

I can’t believe you’ve done this

Which way the Quiznos is

Impossible paper toss shot

Hemtube (dancing with cat)

I nurture my skin (Shaq)

Why are you running

Happy birthday?

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal (courtroom)

Farkle falling

Fuck you (soda machine)

Squash banana (the branch I was holding broke)

Take On Me

And now my sock is wet (water gun)

All I ever wanted was some motherfuckin guala

When there’s too much drama at school

Two bros chillin in the Hot Tub

What’s your name? (ouija board)

Chillary Clinton (chillin in Cedar Rapids)

Guy drops slurpee (7-Eleven)

Girl scared of convertible car

Guy who is self-conscious about his lisp (Rice Krispies Treats)

Would you like the spider on your hand?

Shopping cart crash

We actually have the chip reader now

I’M A GIRAFFE

Dinner with Zayn Malik (Chihuahua eating spaghetti)

I HOPE IT’S HELPFUL TO SOMEONE! Peace ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

[leaveittotegan-deactivated20181]

this gave me such a warm feeling i legit teared up no joke

[yeisons]