We’re Tired of Him (part 5)
Jason frowned as he studied the scene in front of him. Everyone was fighting each other on who should ask the kid the first question.
His eyes turned to the couch where Damian resided, frowning as he replayed the earlier events.
The intense look on his face softened by a fraction when he realized that this was the calmest he has ever seen Damian. The kid looked
like the kid he was supposed to be. As if he was just about to take a nap after a stressful day at school.
And wasn’t that fucked up?
The most at peace he’s ever seen Damian was when he was drugged up and drunk.
Jason felt someone watching him. When he turned, he met Tim’s eyes for a brief second before Tim quickly turned away, frustrated and… jealous?
He scoffed to himself. Now he knew that he was definitely imagining things. What would Tim even be jealous of?
“Look,” Tim practically snarled at the room. “I know that all of you had a bad experience with Damian’s normal Damian-ess.” Eyes followed Tim as he walked around the room, “But you guys weren’t the ones that he tried to murder.” Tim paused before adding, “Multiple times.”
Jason tried to keep his body language at ease. It never made sense to him that Tim forgave Jason but never Damian.
The room was quiet before Wally spoke up. “Go ahead, then.”
Tim walked towards Damian and he didn’t care enough to hide the grin forming on his face as he felt the room watching him.
He stopped in front of the brat, who was about to fall asleep. Tim rolled his eyes. Was it past the kid’s bedtime or something?
Tim wanted to slap Damian awake. Wanted to look down at him as he stared up at him, all bleary-eyed and hurt. That would’ve just been the beginning.
But Tim knew he couldn’t. Not with Dick and Jason watching him.
He saw how the man looked at Damian with that stupid softened expression that was and should only be reserved for Tim!
He closed his eyes for a few seconds and let out a breath.
Tim gently shook Damian awake.
The brat squinted up at Tim and tilted his head to the side. It was cute, even he could admit that. But Tim also knew the truth.
Behind that face was nothing but the fucking devil.
Damian’s eyes were unfocused and Tim decided that it would be the perfect time to ask his question.
“Why did you try to kill me?”
Tim’s voice cracked and it was full of so much insecurity that even Dick couldn’t hide his flinch.
He knew that Tim still wasn’t over that incident but he thought that his youngest brothers were making progress. Sure it was small. But at least it was still there.
He brought his hands up to his face. What would Star do?
“My mom told me to do it,” Damian answered.
If Dick thought that the room was quiet before, it was completely silent now.
His eyes watched as Tim clenched his fists.
Dick’s eyes met Jason's who nodded in understanding.
All Tim could see was red.
“What do you mean your mom told you to do it?” His voice grew louder, angrier. “I went through all that just because you followed mommy’s orders? WHAT ARE YOU? SOME SORT OF FUCKING PUPPET?”
Tim could see small tears begin to form in Damian’s eyes and he relished in it.
He scoffed, “Well Dami.” he spat the brat’s name with as much disgust as he could muster. “Aren’t you gonna be a good little puppet and answer my question?”
Tears ran down Damian's face as he responded. “Yeah,” he whispered, trying to wipe the tears off his face. “I was bred and raised to be the perfect soldier. To follow orders and to follow them with no hesitation. If I didn’t…” Damian’s voice trailed off, something getting caught in his throat.
Before Tim could tell Damian to hurry up and answer the damn question, someone beat him to it. “What happens if you don't follow orders, Damian?”
Jason asked the question softly as he gestured for someone to grab him a cup of water.
Not even a second later, a cup was in his hand. He knelt on the floor so he could gently tilt the water into Damian’s mouth, wiping as many tears as he could running down his face.
“Thank you.” the kid murmured to him.
Jason gave him a small smile, “Always.” he assured before his face grew serious again. “But can you answer my question? Please.”
Dick saw the pointed look Jason sent him.
Change of plans, he guessed.
He stood up, heading towards Tim. No one noticed as they were too busy staring at Jason and Damian.
Tim was staring at the two of them too, not even acknowledging Dick as he led them back to the other seats.
It became obvious that Damian didn’t want to answer the question. Wally ran a hand through his hair. This was taking too long. He wanted it to be his turn.
The drink they gave to Damian at the beginning of the night was obviously not enough. And if anyone asked if he added more alcohol to the drink he handed to Jason earlier, he would deny it.
“Since the brats not answering your question.” he yelled out, “Can it be our turn?” he gestured to the rest of the Teen Titans who looked bored out of their minds.
Jason looked like he wanted to argue but Tim sighed. “Just let them have their turn, Jay. We can coax the answer out of the brat, later.”
Jason’s eyes narrowed, “Fine.” Tim’s eyes lit up and he patted the seat next to him. Jason took the hint and sat next to his brother.
It was obvious that Jason was still lost in his thoughts but Tim didn’t care. Jason was next to him. Acting brotherly towards Tim. Not Damian, him.
“So Damian,” Wally leaned forward and he could see just how red Damian’s eyes were. He hoped that the camera was getting a clear view of this. “How do you feel about the team?”
That was all Damian said. It was clear, precise, and straight to the point.
Tim scoffed, “At least he’s aware.” he whispered under his breath.
Jason nudged him and sent Tim a warning look. Tim scowled.
Dick spoke up, this was the opening he was looking for. “Do you know why?”
“Even while he’s drunk, he can’t follow directions.”
Dick ignored that remark. “Come on, Dami.” Dick urged, trying to get the answer out of his little brother. “Do you know why your team doesn’t like you?”
Damian's body began to tremble and tears began forming in his eyes once more. He clenched his fists, “Cause I’m stupid and useless and I can’t do anything right.” he attempted to wipe his tears away but more just came coming. “I tried to get them to like me,” he confessed. “But it didn’t work.”
Maybe it was because of how pathetic Damian looked but even Wally began to feel bad.
“What do you mean you tried to get us to like you?” Crush asked.
“I apologized.” Damian started, “And I know it wasn’t enough so I tried to start a conversation. Tried to connect with them. But it didn’t work either.” Damian stared at his hands, “I asked Alfred for tips on how to make friends and he told me that giving people food was always the right answer. So I did. I baked items to give to them and I thought it worked. But-“
Damian looked away. Dick could tell that Damian didn’t want to continue but he needed to know more. “But,” he pried. “What happened, Dami.”
“It was after a mission briefing. And everyone left for a team bonding activity that I wasn’t invited to. I had to throw something away and they were all there.” Damian sniffled, wiping more tears away from his eyes. “I worked so hard on them.” he blurted out. “And they were unopened. They didn’t even give it a try.”
Wally turned to face the Titans and he could see the conflicted emotions crossing on their face. Hell, he could feel the conflicted emotions going through him now.
He remembered the day Damian was talking about. How could he not? He was the one that convinced the others that the food might’ve been poisoned.
Wally was also the one that “unintentionally” raised his voice to talk about the place where the team was going. And how happy everyone was that the br- kid wasn’t going.
No one spoke for a while.
Jason shut his eyes. He knew that he wouldn’t like the answer to this question. But he needed to know.
“How do you think me, Dick, and Tim feel about you?”
“You guys hate me.” Damian whispered, “Father wishes I was more like all of you. But I don’t know how. And when I do try to become like you, it’s never enough.”
“No.” He heard Dick whisper in disbelief. “Dami, you’re wrong.”
If Damian heard the eldest Robin, he didn’t acknowledge it. “He thinks you guys are perfect. And you don’t-“ his voice cracked. “And you don’t even have to try.”
“Dam-“ Tim tried to interject but Damian ignored him.
“It’s not fair!” Damian lashed out. “Father wishes I got along with you guys. But when I try, it doesn’t work. I always mess things up.”
“That’s not true.” Jason found himself murmuring.
“That’s why I’m not invited to your bonding sessions. That’s why you guys always call me a demon and a brat. That’s why whenever you guys talk about me, my name always gets insulted.” Damian shut his eyes. “I don’t get it.” He admitted. “I was raised to be perfect. But it's like everything I do turns out to be a mistake.”
Dick wanted to speak up. To tell Damian that he was wrong. That he wasn’t a mistake. But his mouth wouldn’t open.
He could only listen as Damian continued to talk. No one else had the guts to stop him.
“Do you think that’s why Ummi sent me away?” Damian quietly asked, “Because I wasn’t good enough? Because I wasn’t perfect.”
Damian was talking to himself now. Dick didn’t know who this Ummi was and he didn’t think that anyone else did either.
“Sometimes, I wonder if I was sent here as a punishment,” Damian admitted. "I don't know what I did wrong but I think I was punished enough." His voice lowered. "So why won't my Ummi take me away?'
That brought Jason out of his trance and Dick watched as Jason moved to console the youngest bat. He wrapped his arms around the kid, not caring how his shirt was damp from tears. His eyes were shut as if Jason was trying to hold back his own tears.
It was like the events of the night just crashed into everyone’s heads as they turned to look at each other and back to Damian in Jason’s arms.
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So, guess who’s back… ish after four months of no updates.
I am so sorry for taking so long to write this chapter. I know that I replied to a lot of comments saying that I was releasing this chapter a lot sooner than I did but things came up.
I hope you guys like this chapter!! I feel like it could’ve been a lot better (and definitely a lot angstier) but I really wanted to update this fic. Especially since my life’s gonna start picking up once again. With finals around the corner and volleyball tournaments about to start soon, life’s gonna be super busy once more.
Like always, please leave a comment. I love reading them and I try to reply to every single one of them. It also helps that they motivate me so much! Let me know your thoughts, reactions, or anything!
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Have an amazing day and wish me luck for finals!!! I’ll try to update as soon as I can!
