When Bruce was new to the whole having children thing, he was always stepping in and trying to break up fights. His resolve was quickly broken, and he just decided to put rules on fighting out problems. No breaking anything, no weapons, no hitting face, neck, or groin, and no knockouts.
Batman leaned against the wall and casually watched as Robin and Red Robin beat the shit out of each other. The JL glanced at each other.
"You... You gonna do something about that, Bats?" Barry asks cautiously.
"It's been a long time coming." Bruce grunts. "Let them handle it." A hit to the jaw lands on Damian, and he shouts at them: "AY, KEEP IT AWAY FROM THE FACE!"
"FUCK OFF!" Tim screams but he doesn't punch Damian in the face again.
Diana nods. "I approve of this parenting technique. Sometimes problems need to be solved with some bruises and blood." Bruce nods as well.
"I've found breaking up their fights just means they still get bruised but no issue is solved." Batman explains and Diana hums thoughtfully.
"Would it not also be adequate to have them duel?"
"No, they do actual damage if i let them have a weapon.
Summary - Dick Grayson, who is not your boyfriend doesn't know how to handle his feelings around you and starts giving you out of nowhere kisses. Repeatedly. Casually. In public. For sport.
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The first one doesn’t even feel real..
You’re talking. Of course you are.
You’re always talking.
Something about Alfred’s cookies being better than literally any bakery in Gotham and how that should be illegal, actually, because..
Dick is half-listening, leaning against the counter, arms crossed, mouth twitching like he’s fighting a smile he refuses to let win.
“You’re staring,” you say, grinning up at him. “Do I have something on my face?”
“Yeah,” he says easily. “Annoyance.”
You gasp, dramatic, offended. “Rude. I am a delight.”
He exhales a laugh before he can stop himself. You see it, see the exact moment he loses the internal battle.
And then he’s stepping closer.
Too close.
Before your brain can catch up, he presses a quick kiss to the corner of your mouth. Barely there. Soft. Almost casual. Like it’s something he’s done a hundred times before.
Like it means nothing.
You freeze.
He pulls back just as fast, already turning away.
“Relax,” he says over his shoulder. “Don’t make it weird.”
You stand there, heart doing parkour in your chest, thinking:
Oh. It’s weird. It’s so weird..
The one where he does it in front of people..
You’re laughing too loud. Again.
Bruce gives you that look. Jason mutters something about earplugs. Dick "traitor" covers his smile with his hand.
“What?” you say. “I bring joy.”
“You bring noise,” Jason corrects.
“You love me.”
“Debatable.”
You’re mid-retort when Dick suddenly hooks a finger in the belt loop of your jeans and pulls you just enough to steal your balance.
“What—”
He kisses you.
Right on the lips this time. Quick. Clean. Unapologetic.
The room goes dead silent.
Dick lets go like nothing happened. “Anyway,” he says, clapping his hands once. “Mission briefing?”
Jason stares at you. Then at Dick. Then back at you.
“…What the hell was that?”
Your face is on fire. “I—I don’t know.”
Dick doesn’t look at you. Doesn’t explain. Just keeps talking like he didn’t just short-circuit your brain in front of his entire family.
Later, you corner him in the hallway.
“You can’t just kiss me,” you hiss.
He shrugs. “Sure I can.”
“That’s not how people work!”
His eyes flick down to your mouth. Back up.
“Seems to be working fine.”
The almost-gentle one (the most dangerous)
You’re upset. Not crying, just quiet. Which, for you, is alarming.
Dick notices immediately.
He sits next to you on the couch, knees brushing. Doesn’t joke. Doesn’t tease.
“You okay?” he asks softly.
You shrug. “Yeah. Just…thinking.”
He studies you for a long moment. You can feel it. The weight of his attention.
“Hey,” he murmurs, tilting your chin up with two fingers.
Before you can ask what he’s doing, he kisses you again, slow this time. Not rushed. Not playful. His lips linger at the corner of yours, forehead resting against yours after.
It feels…intentional.
Your voice comes out small. “Dick.”
“Mm?”
“Why do you keep doing that?”
He doesn’t answer right away. When he finally pulls back, his smile is gone.
“…You overthink everything,” he says, standing up.
And just like that, he walks away.
You sit there, stunned, realizing this one hurt worse than the others.. Because for half a second, you thought it meant something.
The one that finally breaks you
You’re done pretending it doesn’t bother you.
“So what,” you say, arms crossed, blocking his path. “You just kiss people whenever you feel like it?”
Dick sighs. “You’re making this a thing.”
“It is a thing.”
He looks at you then. Really looks. Something unguarded flashes across his face.
“You’re annoying,” he says quietly.
You swallow. “I know.”
“You’re loud. You get under my skin.”
“Dick—”
“And every time you smile at me,” he continues, voice low, “I want to kiss you just to shut you up.”
Silence.
Your heart is pounding. “That’s not fair.”
He steps closer. “I know.”
“So why—”
He kisses you again, this time full on the mouth, longer than ever before. No audience. No jokes. No escape.
When he pulls back, his forehead rests against yours.
“I don’t do this with people I don’t care about,” he admits.
This is based off a text convo I had with my cousin lmao
Tim sending a photo of Jason to Steph where the lighting hitting Jason’s shirt makes his stomach look a bit round: why does jason look 5 months pregnant?
Steph: he’s carrying it for roy
Tim: #meninwomendominatedfields
Steph: yessss!
Tim: i didn’t expect jason mpreg on my 2025 bingo card
Imagine: Dick and Bruce are arguing. They’ve been at it for an hour and thirty minutes, long enough to collect a crowd of siblings and forget what the original problem was. They were probably arguing over a mission, Bruce starting it by voicing his worries and Dick exaggerating it.
At some point, as Dicks voice crescendos, his arms are waving dramatically to and fro as he voices his grievances against his father he yells;
Dick: Damn you, Bruce! Damn you to hell! You’re trying to act like my father
[He points to his siblings]
Dick: Their father! But you’re no good at it! I know that you know that! You’re emotionally distant, you can’t communicate, and you don’t know how to spend time with us! It’s like being raised by a fucking brick!! WHO RAISED YOU?!
The children watching laughed, hiding their giggles and chuckles behind their hands. At that moment, there’s a knock on the door interrupting the moment to announce Alfred’s arrival.
The children smiled, they’re always happy to see Alfred. He’s so kind and thoughtful, like a grandfather.
The butler opened the door and closed it behind himself. “Dinner is ready, sir.” He said.
Bruce gulped, a low sound but a sound that Dick noticed. His head swiveled to his father, watching and analyzing his minute expressions.
“Thank you Alfred.” Bruce said with a strained smile. Muffled voices chorused along thankfulness. Dick kept watching Bruce.
Alfred bowed. “You’re welcome sir.”
Dick saw Bruce flinch twitch. Somewhere behind him Alfred left and his siblings looked back at the spectacle he made with his father. They nudged each other, muttering things that dick chose to ignore to instead focus on the growing pit in his stomach.
Bruce looked at his son, blue eyes meeting a mirror image, and dick (ever observant) sees him shake his head.
His lips pull back, revealing sharp teeth that bite out sharper words. Fuck that, he decided.
im not even in the batfam fandom but I read way too many batfam fics because my friend writes them and I am her number one supporter. at first i was just like ??? because I got shoved into this fandom with zero context. but now after a couple months of being introduced to the lore and reading many fics I can proudly say… I still don’t know what’s going on. what I do know is that this fandom has never known joy. why am I crying? who are these people? I don't care about these people. I don't even know whats happening. yet here I am. ugly crying. how. why. do you people survive on pain alone? do you know no happiness. I just know you freaks are all foaming at the mouth waiting for whumptober. and I'm scared.
Like him trying to hide the fact that he’s hallucinating from his family!
Or hiding his hallucinations of jaybin from post resurrection Jason, and him wondering why he’s still seeing fake jaybin when Jason is back and it's because even tho Jason is back, it doesn't feel like it to dick because of their turmoilous relationship
Or Dick hallucinating evil versions of Bruce and Tim and even Jason or Cass voicing his self-hatred thoughts.
Maybe him really thinking its true now that the hallucinations are saying it too, and ignoring that it’s all himself to try and validate his own guilt and self-hatred
If we go the hurt/comfort route it could be Tim or someone realising that Dick looks at things that aren't there with a sad gaze, or that he mumbles incoherent things to himself ever so often.
Someone finally putting all the pieces together and making Dick go get help and medicine even though he doesn't want to because he thinks the he deserves to suffer and ‘who else will keep him in check’ when he thinks he’s not the problem.
But the batfam is having none of that and they put all the scraps of emotional availability together to have a talk with Dick and get him into therapy
Damian would leave ominous notes where he knows Dick would find them like
“Dont listen to the voices or else.”
They both creep Dick out and help, he doesn't know what the ‘or else’ would be and he’s not very inclined to find out.
