Too Queer To Function

Adult/Nonbinary-Genderfluid/Panro-Asexual/Polyam/I’m just Like That™️/I reblog what I reblog. My house, my rules :)

[fiti-vation]

[ernasd]

oh this is a life saver

[gallusrostromegalus]

So these are both “Aw Fuck I’m outta real food” meals BUT ALSO:  if you’re learning how to cook, these are great “baby steps” meals to learn how to cook basics into something enjoyable without “wasting” anything expensive.  Though I maintain that even cooking screw-ups are valuable in terms of lessons learned.

Also they’re great for when you get absorbed in something and you realize your blood sugar is dropping and you need to make something Quick.

[petermorwood]

Making basic storecupboard or fridge ingredients less basic and more nutritious.

[succubusboyfriend]

are you “adaptable” or are you just willing to subject yourself to existing in low key background-level ambient misery

[succubusboyfriend]

these are different things btw. actual adaptability means not dealing with being miserable long term. and being constantly mildly annoyed/frustrated with a situation but being “able to deal with it” counts as ambient misery. btw.

[succubusboyfriend]

let this be your sign to make your life just a little more livable. get a dollar store trash can for your bedside so Cup City’s invasion plans fall through. block a tag or post that makes you grind your teeth every time you see it. get some grip pads so your bed stops sliding across the hardwood a little bit every time you get in it. tell that person you need a little more support. if you get annoyed at a situation more than a couple times, change it. don’t be content with being miserable.

[demonprincex]

and the more that you start doing this, the better you will get at detecting your own feelings and advocating for yourself! This is an important start to being more of a person in the world if you struggle with that

[ultramaddie]

when it happens, there will be a crab rave like no other

[ultramaddie]

every day i ask the crabs “is now the time?”

and every day the crabs sadly reply with a negative

[edgebug]

[piranya]

[edgebug]

[yuriartillery]

preens

[yuriartillery]

preens

[yuriartillery]

how it feels

[whamber]

Shocking revelations

[whamber]

BONUS:

[whamber]

this got so many notes but no one's reblogging it with my very important addition

[foone]

my dream last night was very fragmentary (probably because I got woken up a lot) but the middle section was some kind of historical AU where in 1985 the US accidentally launched every ICBM they had at Topeka, Kansas. This blew up some skyscrapers and created a Weird Black Hole, so the US stuck the city in a giant dome to keep the black hole from weirding the rest of the world.

The people inside survived, but it went slightly Mad Max Post Apocalyptic with them living in some kind of terrible wasteland ruled by warlords hoarding weapons.

but yeah, only Topeka, Kansas. The rest of the world was fine.

[spectraspecs-writes]

My friend plays a game like this

@nonbinaryidiot this is your game? With the car?

[nonbinaryidiot]

Pacific Drive? Kinda. It’s in Washington if I remember right.

[gostaks]

on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport the first person on the moon went there by accident and promptly died. The next dozen or so people also went by accident, and also died. Number 14 figured out that people who go to the moon die and very cleverly brought a sword and six weeks of travel rations. This did not help.

No one on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport ever figured out why people die in space because they don’t need airplanes and never found it particularly interesting to climb tall mountains. Astronomers use telescopes to take pictures of the ever-growing pile of corpses on the moon.

[slytherverse]

friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her

[slytherverse]

-threw out the floor mats entirely bc theres magic the gathering cards molded into them

-found an axe formely belonging to a friend who is now in jail

-four trash bags worth of clothes and an untold amount of fast food trash

[slytherverse]

guys theres a pile of chicken bones down there from wingstop im so scared

AND i hear "hey dude can i use ur washing machine real quick" and she pulls out a pair of pants from, i shit you not, 1940 and theyre moldified into a SOLID. those pants survived a war and couldnt last a year in her fucking shitbox istfg

[slytherverse]

shes cleaning out the Broken Glass Area of the backseat (normal thing to have. been there FOUR FUCKING YEARS)

fuckin blindly sticks her hand under the seat and pulls out a fully intact URANIUM GLASS PLATE. "for you :D" ... GIRL

[slytherverse]

"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both

[slytherverse]

i swear to god im not exaggerating here. anyway heres an incomplete list of everything we found inside:

-axe (stolen)

-earrings made out of dentures

-flavored condoms

-a quilt

-hello kitty sweater (stolen from a DIFFERENT ex-friend with a felony charge)

-deer spine

-baseball sized wad of human hair

-""sex apron""

-uranium glass plate

-pile of non-uranium non-car glass

-rollerblades

-complete phantom of the opera cd set

-magic the gathering cards mold-ified into a brick

-lego millennium falcon

-a CUTLASS??? (for "self defense")

-the back bumper of the car

-an entire fucking ant colony

and finally, perhaps the most disturbing,

-a pack of vanilla wax melts, inexplicably unmelted and intact despite sitting inside this terrarium-with-a-prius-wrapped-around-it in 100 degree heat for god knows how long

[slytherverse]

i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.

[slytherverse]

guys i cant take it anymore

[slytherverse]

bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup

[newsandstuffisee]

[lilyfromthetsab]

Most non-Minnesotans have no idea what this means, but to put it plainly: we're raised with not just the expectation but essentially -programming- to assist others who get stuck during the winter. We'll help people we'd otherwise punch on sight if they're stuck in the snow and ice, for zero reward.

This is the level of rage we're at with ICE. I'm not joking to say it's almost physically painful to not help someone stuck like that, and it's worth it because the people stuck are ICE.

The only way we have to express how mad we are above this is channeling the First Minnesota all over again.

[explorerrowan]

The Scandinavians who settled in Minnesota brought with them their Norse understanding of the laws of hospitality: you do not fuck around with winter, that if someone needs help in the winter, you help them as long as they don't actively try to hurt you or your neighbors. Food, shelter, labour, whatever, if you can help in winter, you do.

ICE has violated the "actively try to hurt you or your neighbors" bit of the laws of hospitality, and thus the hospitality has been revoked. They are free to feel winter's wrath against those who would bring harm to the community.

I like to think that Lady Skaði would be proud of her distant children.

[actual-changeling]

this reminds me of the mud wizard who walked through everything without any problems while the police officers kept sliding and falling and getting stuck, you can watch it right here.

for context, this was during anti-coal protests in lützerath which went on for days and included people being forcibly removed, injured, or otherwise violated by the police. they showed up in riot gear against people simply sitting and camping and wanting to protect their forests. it was a really big deal here.

[wlfb0ygrl]

saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

[whispy-witch]

i want this man in my inventory

[robertreich]

Remember this. Be safe. Be strong.

[vampyyprincess]

”spam like = block” yeah ok buddy. when i wake up to tumblr notifs of someone spam liking my stuff i start giggling and kicking my feet

[strudel-fatpaws-deactivated2025]

who was the guy who said every indie game is named either "empoisoned" or "swumbles big jumble" . i swear this is a real thing someone said

[strudel-fatpaws-deactivated2025]

gonna start sorting my steam library like this

[zentilde]

[blemgoid]

what the fuck is going on here? indie game titles are either one word or more than one word?? thats the big revelation? what the fuck is wrong with all of you?

[mr-deep-downer]

One nothing wrong with me

[ducktollers]

🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊

[junkyardshrub]

SCROLL BACK UP THIS IS A PAINTING

[histrionicscribbler]

SCROLL BACK UP THIS IS A PAINTING

[thequeenofthedisneyverse]

SCROLL BACK UP THIS IS A PAINTING

[meangirlnurse]

good: i appear to have successfully grown a few ears of corn in my backyard in my first year of casually gardening

bad: i didn't get to try any because my golden retriever stole and ate all of it

[meangirlnurse]

unrepentant corn thief

[meangirlnurse]

guess what i just confiscated from him in the backyard 😒

[meangirlnurse]

[mx-capgras]

this will stay in my ask box forever. i have never enjoyed an ask so much as i have enjoyed this one

[scottbaiowulf-deactivated201805]

Male writers writing female characters:

“Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards.”

[m1ssc0mmun1cat10n]

‘ She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards’ is the greatest fucking sentence I have ever read.

[silly-activites]

THE ORIGINAL??