five five five five five @object39 - Tumblr Blog

Did you know that there are 58 tortillas in space right now and that number dwindles as the hunger of four astronauts grows

tanoraqui

#<sings> 58 tortillas that we put in space #58 tortillas in spaaaace #then an astronaut lunched #a tortilla was munched #57 tortillas remaining in space (@iztarshi)

aquilacalvitium

Write it badly or it'll never be written

aquilacalvitium

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again

mortalityplays

the day after tdov should be international try it out for a minute day. try on something you'd wear if you were trans (and nobody is saying you are), try out makeup for the first time (for the novelty), imagine what your name would be if you were to transition (and you don't have to), think of yourself with a different pronoun and imagine people casually referring to you that way (just because it's international try it out for a minute day). it's april first, who says it means anything. just try it out for a minute.

robertwire

ilya rozanov voice sorry i wept into the soft cradle of your body do you still think i'm a top

ticklefighthockey

breaking my silence but I dont think show ilya was shown to be the "biggest asshole in the whole league" and I kinda wanted it to be more on the nose for that so the GA to catch it

his switch up to picking on Hayden on s2 will be interesting to see because I dont think hes had a really built up for that

ok but I looooooove that part where he’s lying on the couch with his hand down the front of his pants getting sooo delighted as he thinks about how much they hate him everywhere. except in florida where there are lots of boston fans. they did kinda sell me on it there. I don’t think he’s an asshole as in a dirty player or a guy who sucks… I think he’s the kind of asshole who kicks your team’s ass up and down the rink and does theeee most over-the-top cellies (think ovi’s hot stick celly lol) and blows big wet obnoxious kisses to the most rabid ilya rozanov haters who are pressed up against the glass screaming at him. and then after his team wallops yours in like a 8-2 game where he scores a hat trick he gives a quote like “they’re very good team… it is too bad nobody showed up tonight.” they ARE burning effigies of him outside the rink and he DOES drive past them in his sports car on the way into the arena honking and grinning and waving at them through the window because that shit gets him soooooo hype.

ticklefighthockey

cannot leave this in the replies @ronandhermy ahaha this is EXACTLY the vibe:

#gc hr

charlemane

i think the luckiest moment of my life - at least, the luckiest moment i'm aware of & can remember - was when i poured HOURS of wrist-grinding labor into nålbinding baby socks with no pattern & vague measurements pirated off a machine-made baby sock, and they turned out weirdly long and skinny. and then the baby was born with such weirdly long and skinny feet that the only socks that fit him were the ones i made. what a very specific little lottery to win.

hometoursandotherstuff

iero

HEATED RIVALRY 1.04 | 1.05

#gc hr

lysimachias

❌ Is this ship well supported by canon

❌ Does this ship make any sense whatsoever by any reasonable metric

✅ Does the thought of these characters standing next to each other make you want to chew concrete and then break apart a nearby automobile with your bare hands

$fractally blog's avatar$

fractally

So when I say Shane isn't a good person really I don't mean that he's like. Bad. Or malicious or evil. I just see so many fics that write him as this weird paragon of perpetual virtue, almost saintlike, where he's impossibly kind and an activist and sweet to Ilya like a little kitten and caring of his friends and I'm just sitting here thining....no??

Shane's canonically kind of a selfish guy! Not in a terrible way, he just doesn't really care about stuff outside of his direct sphere. He only gets into philanthropy when there's a direct benefit to him (laundering his relationship). He loves his friends but he's not super caring of them or all that invested in their lives (forgetting Hayden's baby's name is peak). Some of that is he's too wrapped up in his own shit and his secrets but I think a lot of it is just his personality. Shane's not selfish to the degree of it being a personality flaw (see: Shane giving up a day with Ilya to babysit Hayden's kids. I wouldn't have) but he's more selfish than selfless.

We don't hear about him sending signed pucks to sick kids or doing charity with the Voyageurs or that sort of thing. Maybe he's doing it in the background idk. Most likely he's got some assistant in charge of it. But that's not something he spends a lot of mental energy on.

He's not rude or cruel to people, but internally he's a bit judgemental. He sells himself pretty ruthlessly. He’s wealthier than anyone on this website can even comprehend. He’s a landlord.

To get to three cups in a decade Shane’s also got to be very locked in as captain. Like Theriault is this fandom villain (fair) but it just doesn’t make sense to have Shane constantly clashing with him and the Voyageurs and still winning over and over. We see Shane let homophobic comments slide in the locker room and I have to assume that’s his general approach to dealing with things in Montreal. Winning comes first.

I’ve said a million times I love Shane. I’m obviously obsessed with him, look at my many posts. But I just think he’s a grittier and more interesting than the fandom gives him credit for, they just turn him into like the anxious nagging wife who tells Ilya to pick up his socks and is Team Mom.

ebulliscent

This!!

Hudson imbued Shane with a lot of gentleness, and the series centring the romance means we see a lot less of Shane when he isn't Ilyamaxxing but book!Shane is incredibly cutthroat. He's impatient, he might not ~showboat~ as much as Ilya does (and he judges him for it constantly) but he's just as much of an attention whore. He isn't just admired because he's Shane Motherfucking Hollander; he's genuinely a bro, he's inaccessible because of his routine and his diet (which gives him major 'you can't sit with us' vibes that he does precious little to counteract, both because he's too wrapped up in his Everything to notice, and he wouldn't care enough if he did).

He's the ice queen, not Ilya. As far as the league, and even his team, is concerned, all routes to Shane Hollander are through excellence, proximity, or work. Ilya and Scott Hunter get the time of day because they're good. Hayden is his friend and Assistant Captain. JJ is a teammate and is sort of the glue of the Voyagers. Rookies get Captain Hollander because he's responsible for them. That's all.

There is no 'Holzy'. His team feels a proximity to him because he's an indelible part of their careers. They're barely a footnote in his, and they know it. Shane does too; he does try to make their success about the team but even when he's thinking of his dynasty and the camaraderie of the locker room in TLG he's thinking of it as a transaction, as loyalty that is owed to him rather than relationships he can trust. Things imploding the way they do in TLG is predicated upon this power imbalance, and that's why the Centaurs are such a good foil.

$fractally blog's avatar$

fractally

Yes!! Yes you get it.

I really like you pointing out how distant and inaccessible Shane is. He lives alone immediately, which is very unusual in hockey, being housed by older players during your rookie contract is almost seen as a guardianship or part of your training. The older players teach the younger guys how to sleep properly and cook good meals and such. Shane doesn't need any of that, he's already locked in. And he's very aware of the distance his talent and routines and diets creates between him and his teammates:

"all routes to Shane Hollander are through excellence, proximity, or work"

Yeah, exactly. Shane is so transactional---he thinks about his diet and routines as input / output. He doesn't eat red meat so that he skates better. He doesn't drink so that his muscle control is tighter. He's obviously an endorsement whore---and in the book it's HIM doing this, not his mom. He wants to be THE Shane Hollander, hockey phenom, and he sees this as a thing he can buy with his effort, his restriction, his repression, and his body. He didn't trip his way into being the greatest of all time, he planned it, piece by piece, and worked his ass off:

And yeah as to the friendships with Hayden and JJ, man. I don't know. I really feel like Ilya is the only person on the planet who gets Shane's platonic intimacy until very late into TLG, when Shane has a sweet moment with JJ. But like even his TLG convos with Hayden are very stilted. Shane makes a super rare vulnerability bid by admitting how he's thought about how tough it would be for him and Ilya to have kids and it flies right over Hayden's head.

These guys are friends because Hayden's his winger and because Hayden doesn't have much of a hockey ego and doesn't get insecure around Shane. That's what's happening there.

People adding in nicknames for Hollander is always funny to me because it feels very deliberate that they don't exist in the book. I think the fans call him all sorts of things, but I don't think a single person in that locker room is calling Shane Hollander by a nickname.

Honestly I think this is a hard thing for people to think about with a character which is why depictions of Shane file it away. Most of us have never had the experience of being the most important person in the room, the once without whom the room would not even exist. But that's Shane's day to day. Ilya (and Hunter, on the outside) are pretty much the only equals he ever interacts with. Everyone else is buying his time in various ways.

#gc hr

junk-thunder

it's a well-known secret among time travelers that you can just do whatever you want to genghis khan and it won't affect history at all. just last week i visited late 12th century mongolia to do a Hot Ones-style interview with him and someone had already given him a PBR baseball cap and a steam deck- the butterfly effect has that name for a reason but temüjin's destiny is just so firmly rooted that no amount of interference could possibly change it. dude absolutely kills it at Crypt of the Necrodancer

elle-thereafter

These are important things I have learned about writing fiction. I know these things, but sometimes I need a reminder. So I am writing them here, both as a reminder for myself, and as a reminder for all those who, like me, sometimes forget.

Characters must make choices.

Characters should often make bad choices before they make good choices.

Character choices should drive the vast majority of the plot. Characters reacting to having random stuff thrown at them is far less interesting than characters reacting to the stuff they've thrown after it's ricocheted around and comes bouncing back toward them.

If a character refuses to make a choice, there better be consequences for that too, and you better have a damn clear way of showing those consequences to the reader and the character.

Nearly every time I'm struggling with writing something, taking a step back and thinking about these 4 things usually helps get me unstuck.

gretchensinister

Insensitivity reader to make sure that your characters are ignorant assholes in the ways that make the most sense for the characterization you're trying to achieve

clytemnestraaa

sure shane svetlana friendship is fun or whatever but what’s more fun is shane being real weird to her. shane voice i am NOT being weird. ilya voice okay but she’s very important to me so can you just try to be nice. shane voice i AM nice. *two minutes later* i’m just saying doesn’t she ever get cold?

#gc hr

i-chew-on-pushpins

today in "making up ways to help kids decompress on the fly": i had kids cup their hands in front of them and for 1 silent minute, picture a small mouse in their hand. afterwards they got to tell me, one at a time, what their mice did

i-chew-on-pushpins

figured it would be fun to add some quotes from my 4 year olds on what their mice did

"she danced and twisted"

"my mouse went to jump in a pond and then rowed a boat"

"mine ate cotton candy and then he got so sick"

"I let my mouse go and he went home to visit his family"

viivus

Stuff I drew for the recent homestuck update, posted in the order of completion so you can see the steady degradation of effort and polish as I slowly got sick of sticking to a tight colour palette. Also props to Lazylaz for her great art in the flash!