issa me

| laura | •tattoos - pisces - gay af• I try to be funny but I'm not she/them sc: ljaay2412 // insta: laura.jayne.h phenylalaninia.wordpress.com

[highlandcattleofsaarela]

[spitsister]

oh my god the forest spirits are awake! hello!

[wingleader]

PRECIOUS

[lovingrot]

experienced the wrath of god at Claire’s

[warpedsoulgem-deactivated202102]

just say you got an infection from the piercing gun and go

[lovingrot]

this is the only funny response everyone else shut up

[this-tragic-affair]

how do people not swear??? like where does their anger go?? how do they show their enthusiasm??? what if they stub their toe??? like saying golly gosh isn’t really gonna cut it barbara 

[charamath]

[candyviolence-deactivated201801]

Now THIS is art.

[karenhallion]

Have I reblogged this before. I don’t care, How absolutely amazing this is. 

[frostbackcat-deactivated2021031]

[what-makes-a-hero-deactivated20]

IT JUST GOT BETTER

[woodmeat]

what the fuk u even suppose to do with ur hands while ur getting ur dick sucked

[jazzcochina-deactivated20180807]

clap

[jonbutter]

Chopped but every time someone is eliminated the judges sing an Oompa-Loompa style song about what they did wrong

[trashfirefallon-deactivated2019]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

   I just drove my uncle and myself to the hardware store, and he said to me “Molly, I want you to know that being Catholic doesn’t change anything. If you someday get married, your wife will be welcome in this family. Don’t ever think otherwise.”

  That is really nice, but I am not gay???

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I’M LAUGHING SO HARD. SPOILER ALERT 2012 ME; YOU’RE SUPER FRICKING GAY.

[af-hverju]

me: why are you destroying earth!!!

aliens: because theres people who think that english is the only language they need to speak

me: thats fair i understand

[nerdypersonwithwings]

For some reason I find this all the more amusing because it’s written in English

[af-hverju]

moi: pourquoi vous détruisez le monde!!! l'extraterrestre: parce que il y a des gens qui pensent que l'anglais est le seule langue pour parler moi: ah ça c'est bien

[languageoclock]

ich: warum zerstört ihr die erde!!!

aliens: weil es leute gibt die glauben dass englisch die einzige sprache ist die sie sprechen müssen

ich: das ist fair ich verstehe

[sprachtraeume]

ég: af hverju eyðileggið þið jörðina!!! aliens: af því að það er fólk sem finnst að enska sé sú eina tungumál sem þau þurfa að tala ég: oh, það er vit í þessu. ég skil.

[pory-gon-2]

ik: waarom vernietig je de aarde!!!

aliens: omdat er mensen zijn die denken dat engels de enige taal is die ze hoeven te spreken

ik: oh zo, ik snap het

[perilegs]

minä: miks te tuhootte maapalloo?

alienit: koska tääl on ihmisiä joitten mielestä englanti on ainoo kieli jota niitten täytyy puhua

minä: toi on reilua, ymmärrän

[polyglottica]

私: どうして地球を滅ぼしているんですか？

宇宙人: 英語しか喋る必要がないと思う人がいるからです

私: なるほど、わかりました

[lingumaniac]

me: Wosück maakt ji de Welt twei!!!

aliens: wieldat dat Lüüd gifft, de dinkt dat Engelsch de allenige Spraak weer, de een snacken mütt

me: jo, daar seggst wat. Nu versta ik’t

[somalang]

aniga: dhulka maxaad u burburinaya !!!

shisheeyaha: dadka intiisa badani u malaynayaan in Ingiriisidu tahay afka oo kaliya ay u baahan yihiin inay la hadlaan

aniga: waxaan fahamsanahay. waa wax cadaalad

[zhanaform]

我：你们为什么在毁灭地球?！！

外星人：因为有人以为他们只会英语就可以了

我：懂了，说得有道理

[natsui]

ako: bakit niyo sinisira ang mundo!!!

taga-ibang planeta: kasi merong mga taong akala nila Ingles lang ang kailangan nilang matutunang lenggwahe

ako: ah, sige naiintindihan ko

[katsudonski]

Aku : kenapa kau hancurkan bumi!!! Alien : karena masih banyak orang berpikir hanya bahasa inggris satu-satunya bahasa yang terpenting Aku : oh, oke lah..

[belisencia]

tôi: tại sao các người hủy diệt trái đất!!! người ngoài hành tinh: bởi vì có người nghĩ rằng tiếng Anh là thứ tiếng duy nhất mà họ cần biết tôi: ồ thế thì tôi hiểu

[aphdoitsu-deactivated20170414]

Eu: Por que vocês estão destruindo a Terra?! Aliens: Porque há pessoas que pensam que o inglês é a única língua que eles precisam falar. Eu: Isso é justo, eu entendo.

[wednesdaythunder]

jag: varför förintar ni jorden!!!

utomjordingar: för det finns folk som tror att engelska är det ända språket de behöver kunna

jag: rimligt, jag förstår

[useless-czechrepfacts]

Já: Proč ničíte Zemi?

Mimozemšťani: Protože tu jsou lidé, kteří si myslí, že angličtina je jediný jazyk, který potřebují znát

Já: To je fér, to chápu.

[useless-polandfacts]

ja: dlaczego niszczycie Ziemię?

kosmici: ponieważ są ludzie, którzy myślą, że angielski to jedyny język, którego potrzebuję

ja: rozumiem, w porządku

[vyrkann]

io: perchè state distruggendo la terra!!!

alieni: perchè ci sono delle persone che credono che l’inglese sia l’unica lingua di cui hanno bisogno

io: capisco, mi sembra giusto

[rad-and-sleepy]

Yo: porqué estás destruyendo la tierra!?!?

Extraterrestre: porque hay personas quienes creen que inglés es la única lengua que se tiene que hablar.

Yo: te entiendo, es justo.

[haxyr3]

Я: Почему вы уничтожаете Землю?!?! Инопланетяне: Потому что есть люди, которые считают, что им нужно говорить только по-английски. Я: А, ну понятно, тогда ладно!

[jenroses]

A modern Rosetta stone.

[contemplativeckik]

[sharky-sharks]

Why do you like sharks?

[yofi-deactivated20190418]

he walk

[knightposting-archived]

He cronch

[gaycubedenby]

He roll

[waywardfangir1]

She give high fin. @lilragekitten

[canidteeth]

He gets tummy rubs

[glitterysquidily]

He get nose rub

[the-monochrome-jester]

He beauty

[hoediac]

He dance

[ayellowbirds]

She do a triple Lutz

[localgaecryptid]

He slorp

[pineapple-crow-deactivated20250]

This post is blessed

[leatherwingsinc-deactivated2015]

[caluummhood-deactivated20140506]

HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE

MAKE A WISH

[jamesjoeboyleeeee-deactivated20]

the first post ever on tumblr

[powerpuffsposts-deactivated2025]

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK

[kpopdotexe-blog]

WHO THE FUCK KEEPS BRINGING THIS BACK

[teenyweenynotepad]

reblog this because it shows up every blue moon

[flamboynt-deactivated20151220]

I FOUND IT ✊

[addcolortomysky]

I WAS SO SCARED IT WOULDNT BE THE ORIGINAL

[blairisbae]

Who first posted this?

[ratbastarddotfuck]

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO END WITH A MEME OR SOME SHIT NO IT’S THE REAL ONE OH MY GOD

[amberdamnn]

Wishing I’ll do well on my finals ✨

[ithelpstodream]

[cookie-sheet-toboggan]

so is Victory

[ashermajestywishes]

LOVE TRIANGLE

[bsparrow]

Don’t forget Truth (Coming Out of Her Well to Shame Mankind)

[justrollinon]

This must be why the Trump administration hates them all 

[acciowine]

The Four Horsewomen of the Trumpocalypse.

[krustybunny-deactivated20221129]

I’ve never reblogged anything so quick

[spectrometon]

The Ultimate Squad, comin’ to wreck your shit and save the world

[quentineliot]

Rb for that art doe

[slow-riot-deactivated20200720]

Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil

[tramampoline]

its so wild like “this generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentials” and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies

[catparazzi]

at least our jeans won’t tear at the seams after two washes

[awfullydull-deactivated20170619]

FUCK FABRIC SOFTENER IT’S UTTERLY POINTLESS

AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT

DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* IT’S SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER

FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY *Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe

1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.)

1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.)

½ cup - 1 cup grated bar soap (you can use literally anything. I often use Ivory because it’s easy to get and I find it works well, a lot of people like Fels-Naptha, which is an actual laundry bar. Some people use Dr. Bronner’s. Really does not fucking matter.) After grating your soap, combine all ingredients. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Use maybe a ¼ cup per load.

[madsciences]

^^^ I’ve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent

[ghostoftwentysomethingspast]

WHAT Thank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give!

[legallynonbinary]

Also you can MAKE your own washing soda very VERY cheaply.

Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco.

Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray.

Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda)

Step four: revel in how easy and cheap it is to make your own washing soda, and maybe take a moment to be angry that the industry upcharges the fuck out of something that is so easy to make.

[legallynonbinary]

I see some of y'all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesn’t come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesn’t need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets.

[polar-academia-deactivated20230]

I love this post so much it’s filled with helpful advice, hatred, saving money, and fucking the system all in one

[alacerlucifer]

[electricbreeze]

Schrödinger’s boys

[klubbhead]

FUCK

[alphahoennomega]

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

[crystalsoulslayer]

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

[6qubed]

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town

[earthdad]

touché rednecks

[jazzhermit]

Buttholes dont give you cancer

[tchaikovsgay]

That’s a sentence I never expected to read but you’re not wrong

[ilovewhitewine-deactivated20210]

working retail

me: hi how are you today? customer: JUST LOOKING.