Microwave Go Brrrrrr

My brain constantly produces shitposts and I decided to put them here instead of screaming them at my friends. Ask box is always open.

[beesmygod]

“chuffed doesnt mean what you think it means”

it means exactly what i think it means its just some stupid word that literally has two definitions that mean the opposite thing

[mysterysnake-deactivated2013122]

what the hell

[ashwilliamsrighthand]

This makes me really chuffed

[pameladoove-deactivated20180821]

This post is quite egregious

[cornflakepizza]

Well I’m nonplussed by this whole post.

[fixyourwritinghabits]

goddamnit.

[leatherpatches-deactivated20150]

[conservative-libertarian-deacti]

[mattsunsthighs]

all of you go to hell

[divagonzo]

And you wonder why i am boggled at times

[inactive1346597623595641352]

These are called contronyms! A word that is its own opposite.

[rubes-dragon-deactivated2024030]

Why the fuck do these exist

[operativesurprise]

One theory is that the sarcastic use of the word became exceedingly prevalent and because another dictionary definition. 

[xxtc-96xx]

English: the language that pretty much sounds like it’s making things up as it goes

[artfulkindoforder]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame @heritageposts

[premiumshitposting]

Egregious (derogatory)

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[premiumshitposting]

I was expecting the vriska, but the sans got me off guard.

[writing-prompt-s]

As the villain pulled you from the rubble you glared at him as he removed your mask. His smirk dropped when he saw your face as he said: “Wait, Dan from Pizza Hut? YOU are the one who I’ve been trying to kill for all these years!?”

[premiumshitposting]

Same energy as "Lee from the tea shop??"

[official-cisphobe]

here’s a random word generator–whatever word it gives you is now the thing you are the deity of

[pocketramblr]

oh heck yeah

[gentrychild]

Well, that’s a f*cking lie.

[cyber-phobia]

…..gimme your bones

[l-anna-art]

It fits pretty well for me lmao

[moonpaw]

I have a mouth I must

[premiumshitposting]

Mhm sure. Tell that to all my WIPs.

[glowstickhaloboy]

i made a uquiz where i designate you “____ to lovers” pls validate me by reblogging & tagging with what u get

[glowstickhaloboy]

no offense but I want to get everyone who is responding so well to “allies to lovers” a kiss on the lips

[premiumshitposting]

I got allies 👀

[prokopetz]

The funniest part of the whole “Homestuck police” thing is that when I get accused of making a Homestuck reference I’m nearly always referencing something completely unrelated, or at best something that Homestuck itself was probably also referencing – yet when I do just straight up drop a deliberate Homestuck reference into my work, 90% of the time it flies completely under the radar.

[premiumshitposting]

It keeps happening.

[chunkecheeks]

type “i am” in the tags and whatever comes up first is your new mandatory kin

[pie-thinkings]

I want to prove a point to a coworker of mine.

Pretend this post is the coronavirus.

If you see this on your dash, just reblog it.

Let’s show them how quickly this virus can spread from just one person.

[readyforit]

reblog and type ‘I miss’, ‘I love’ and ‘I hate’ in the tags and let your secrets be revealed!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

anyway I've decided to write a novel about non-binary wealth-redistributing magicians revolting against the government, I'm 80k words in

[premiumshitposting]

I've been working on a story with the same plot for 6 years and I'm 4 words in.

[mysharona1987]

[crownquill]

u h m - 

Tag yourself I’m Asthma

[sparrownnax]

I'm fell from horse in war

[chaseatlantis-deactivated202209]

SEDUCTION & DISAPPOINTMENT

[plusonetm]

BAD HABITS AND POLITICAL EXCI T E ME NT

[neko-mancy]

female disease

[lollybliz]

Bad company

[no-one-told-you-life-was-gay]

Overaction of the mind 🎆

[premiumshitposting]

I read "fever and loss of law suit" as "fever and loss of shit" which describes me much better

[ghostresidues]

what percentage catboy are you?

[premiumshitposting]

62%

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

comparable should NOT be pronounced like that

[enderbot-magic]

Here’s how I think it should be pronounced

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

exactly!!! COM-PEAR-ABLE. if 2 things can be compared they are COMPARE-ABLE. THEY ARE ABLE TO BE COMPARED. COMPARE-ABLE

[premiumshitposting]

There's people that pronounce it com-per-a-bowl and it fills me with displeasure.

[premiumshitposting]

Person: Woah, who are you?

Time traveler: I'm a time traveler from the past.

Time traveler: We are currently going through one of the worst years in human history and I want to be prepared.

Person: Let me guess... 2021?

Time traveler:

Time traveler: What?

Person: I mean you can't top the alien invasion that led to the death of billions.

Time traveler:

Time traveler: What?

[joyfulsongbird]

with the discussion happening on my blog tonight here’s a “are you a main or side character uquiz” that i have yet to take so i think it’d be fun if we all shared our results to each other, let’s find out

[premiumshitposting]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[gui1ttripping]

Alright.

Everyone,

And I mean EVERYONE

who sees this post has to reblog it with something they love about themselves and tag at least one other person. I’m tired of the self-negativity, myself included, so let’s try to spread some positivity, ok?

One thing I love about myself is my artistic abilities.

Tagging: @parade-of-the-defects @kerosene–angel @madhouse-at-midnight @feelin-peachy336 @phil-and-a-corgi @ashfire05 @emo-boi @emohyena @vyukami @gods-mistake-uwu @im-a-ban-im-a-bandito @fromthegallifrey @wherethewaterstarts-andyouend @hanna-does-stuff @anti-kalvin-club @frankielicious @iero @potdreadsfrank @essielf @frank-ierhoe @bitchyscemoenby @lil-mistake-boi @stressieboi @pureandbloodstained @gerardbutnotgerardway @spiderway95 @ghost-bonezz @tacozebra051 @tacobelltylerr @vesselsintrench @lu-hemmingss @luck-cat @vivalienne @trinazz @hpmerlinfan @illuminatilovesyou @save-yourself-stay-alive

[ineffablyferalarchive]

thanks for the tag @thegirlwiththepuffhat! you’re so sweet💕

one thing i love about myself is my singing voice! i’m tagging @ineffable-yikes @cupofteaandstars @ilicythings @satanagreeswithme @ladyedwina and anyone else who wants to do it! let’s be kind to ourselves xx

[ivegotdimpleswhenismile]

I’m sharing it anyway because I feel like it😅

I like my sense of humour, my habit to do little jumps when running (yes, I like looking like a fairy even if I’m angry most of the time I spend on this planet) and I like my hair and face💖

I’m tagging @sadkrab @mostlikelyace @abjectapathy @mywitchcultblr @skater-sides and whoever feels like it💓

[mywitchcultblr]

I like the fact that I love cats more than I love humans @mackie-n-cheese @milllaaa @our-queen-kiwi @sopml

[drakonovisny]

I love that I stopped hating a lot of my features lately (both physical and personal)

Tagging: @dreamerlavellan @noire-pandora @astray-as-a-cat @aspiritofcompassion @little-lightningbug and anyone who sees this! ❤

[astray-as-a-cat]

I love that I make pretty journals

Tagging: @dreamerlavellan @tragic-lavellan @dirthanera @persephones-deadgirlwalking

@jellydishes

And if you wanna do it and I didn’t tag you go at it anyways

[tragic-lavellan]

I love that I’m very organized.

Tagging: @musetta3 @i-am-not-that-gamer @noire-pandora @mywitchcultblr @ma-serannas-vhenan

[ma-serannas-vhenan]

Uh uh uh-

I’ve never gotten lost in a video game and I think that’s pretty rad of me.

Tagging || @seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana @dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt @rraihan @ketasouu @mrstethras @kita-lavellan @knightdawn @melon-san @followingthewolf @musically-magic @notanascian @inquisitor-julia @inquisitor-veowyn @keviriass @starsandskies @whimsyswastry @floweringpopcat @aranislavellan @noire-pandora @dreamerlavellan

[floweringpopcat]

thanks for the tag hydra ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

i love my freckles and wish i had more!

@kingdomheartstrash @sevengeese @trippinphilosophically @regular-andcomplex

[trippinphilosophically]

I cant really think of anything so I’m gonna keep it simple, I love my dark brown eyes

Tagging || @babydontthurtme @jayek-broo @captain-noot @itsblasphemybitch @zombielovescore @dahlialovesalotofshit @qahwa-chai-coffee @sketch-n-stein @pluvial-rabbit

[qahwa-chai-coffee]

Oooohh wow damn now this is hard lmaooo 💀😭😭;also tysmm @trippinphilosophically for tagging me bro!! 💙

Ok uuhh,, i like how my eyes are kinda light, shiny brown sometimes,(owing to mental illnesses & all the pain I’ve been thru myself, this isn’t one of my best qualities rn but) my empathy, kinda knowing how to console ppl and not invalidate anyone’s feelings & expressing compassion. I really like my taste in music and how i feel and interpret literature, poetry and music most of the times(its really dark and deep sometimes tho like SHIT I’m sorry). I really like my eyelashes? Ik how to find pretty and positive af aspects in almost everything and everyone… So yeah ig?? Lmaoo

Oh that was long I’m sorry i Don even like myself that much but anywho, the lovely ppl I’d like to tag are -

@thirdtimeichangethis

@tenofhearts

@pambreezy97

@partydog13

@bacon-notbaekhyun-jaehyun-mingyu (LONG TIME NO SEE BITH I MISS U SM HOW U BEEN RASGULLA 😭💖)

@sadsailor

@diyanaz

@thotpickle-has-seen-nct

[1dsoul1]

What I love about myself is my calm demeanor and a personality that allows people to rely on me and open up about their struggles.

Tagging everyone who sees this and @negrowhat @thotpimook @atinybang @shyirefly @hoho-cham @nyeongwi-taengwi @jaybeenow @theotheralekss @allthelxves @artsyally @simplewonderland @somemydayy 💞

[shyirefly]

Can’t believe I’m just now seeing this hahaa thank you for the tag @1dsoul1 💕

What do I love about myself? Hm. If you look past my sarcasm there’s empathy, it may not be my strongest trait but I’m proud nonetheless

Tagging if you guys would like💕: @frick-frac @varietyfreak @stay-away524 @seungcheolhisoranji

[visenyadarling]

Tagged by @shyirefly and a wonderful thank you, my darling!

There are a lot of things that I love about myself but the very most part is my imagination even if it’s also the thing I hate 😅😅.

Taglist: @seungcheolhisoranji @kingleshe @herecomesthesunking @wooziscollarbones @zhpatch @adelinemwriting @atinybang @vitaminhyunjin @linothot @mngyuheart @wonwoos-tracksuit @icantlikethingsinachillwaysorry @dci-softy-edgelord @seokjinsdisciple and every friend of mine in the group chats that I wish to tag.

[9781-deactivated20210219]

UWah this is actually a really neat idea! thanks for the tag @varietyfreak

I love how easily I can find beauty in small things. And I love that, no matter what I do, I’m happy with the way my life is heading.

Tagging: @baebrants @norithenarwhal @shrtcake-strawberry @bananamilk-t @yourlazykitkat @your-polyamorous-friend @pluviophile-itaws @multifandomkid @moarmy-staytiny-trash @mehestmoi @madstermojo2000 @haoitworks @bebeluvsjoon @imwhateverimis

and any of my followers who sees this. We could do with a dose of positivity in this wacky year.

[baebrants]

uwu this is such a wholesome concept v.v

uhmmmm something i love about myself is that i can read myself well. i don’t think id be as comfortable as i am in my own skin if i didn’t even understand myself so yeeeee

spreading the love to: @srcbias @yangomangos @booklovingelephants @tytrack @victonary @veriincorrectvery @jinyeojin and anyone else who want to join :))

[raedas]

hmmm… I love that I…. am good at math???

@ronan-lynch-deserves-the-world @hitchhiker-of-the-galaxy @sparkofsummer @doitforthecarstairs @blue-drarry-drarry-blue @thelandunderthehilll @tyisthebestshadowhunter :)))

[evanescentxx]

I love that I’m really emphatic. Like, my heart actually aches when I see someone get hurt emotionally or physically.

Tagging @ravenclawprincess2007 @the-blanket-punk @apocalyptic-saboteur @slytherclaw-lair @hogwarts-1d-drarry-stan and @anyone who sees this :)

[the-blanket-punk-deactivated202]

(wait im sitting here for 10 mins and have come up with absolutely nothing and now i think i have imposter syndrome)

ig, i respect people? thats a good thing? @screechingnightchild

[screechingnightchild]

Yes, that is absolutely a good things. Props to you for that buddy!

Uhh… well… umm…. OH YEAH. I’m hilarious. I appreciate mundane things that no one else does. And whenever anyone feels down I try my very best to make them feel better. 

Tagging- @chaoticneutralcinnamonroll @daughter-of-hades1218 @i-have-thicc @silversickles @doitforthecarstairs @anyone who sees this

[chaoticneutralcinnamonroll-deac]

i have nice eyes i guess

@silvercharmed @silversickles @allthese808sandheartbeats @the-con-she-called-conscience @imaveryspookygirl @imabsolutelyokay @abitchoncrack @that-bi-bliophile @that-house @smol-spook-owo @avocadontnightmare @depressedbimyself @everyoneee

[that-house]

I’m sexy as fuck

@imaveryspookygirl @drlinnerd-but-spooky @themeaninglessjumble @miyameowmura @ademonwithinternet @enbies-and-felonies @ all my followers

[themeaninglessjumble]

I’m not afraid of needles

@breakfast-deadman @pikachus-feet @onewiththedemons i think James got most everyone else

[onewiththedemons]

i have a funky laugh that makes others laugh

@eating-sunshine @gardengnomegang @americaspencil @papianoraps @minediamonds @white5raven @i-would-like-a-cool-nickname

[malevolentcheesecake-deactivate]

ooh, uhhhhh

i really like my writing abilities, and since i do a lot of work outside and stuff, i have calluses on my hands and im proud of those for whatever reason

okay so uhhh @kendalllwayland @x-pan-nicked-pansexual-x @arlithenerd @plusonetm @yesmynameischristmas @no-one-told-you-life-was-gay @yashee-but-jjba @motherfucking-witch-loves-mha

i dont talk to most of you but i think youre cool so uhhhh yeah

[no-one-told-you-life-was-gay]

*pika* oh, okay.

I actually really like my how I write dialog, and that I can do it well.

@todorokitops @shoutosm @jinx108 @pufftheminidragon @lollybliz @plztumb1rhelpmegetoveranxiety

[premiumshitposting]

I like that I'm good at world building for my writing. I don't have anyone to tag but feel free to reblog!

[theoneandonlyredrobin]

Hey you know that thing where you start with one word and you have to change one letter to make it a new word? Yeah let’s do that

Book

[lesbianpwnieswithweapons]

Look

[i-have-thicc-deactivated2022080]

loom

[arsonistblue]

zoom

[smol-lightning-bug-deactivated2]

boom

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

doom

[bitchassslytherinsnakery]

Room

[helpivefallen-infandoms-closed]

Rook

[shakey-wakey]

Took

[clems-grove]

Tool

[sweetberry-roebuck]

Fool

[pufftheminidragon]

food

[starshinew]

mood

[thispersonishuman]

wood

[deathsmallcaps]

Word

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

wore

[raemanzu]

wire

[knitordeath]

Lire

[shrewreadings]

Lyre 

[vr-trakowski]

Gyre

[rsfcommonplace]

Pyre

[pardonmydandyism]

Pare

[knightoflodis]

Hare

[foxoftheasterisk]

Hale

[brainhamsteronstrike]

Pale

[claraschaos]

Pile

[moonlit-jellies]

pike

[leafgreen6]

Bike

[jacob-the-gun]

Like

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Lice

[itinabe]

Lime

[hogwartsconsultingtimelady]

Life

[allieisnothere]

Line

[nb-nightwing-deactivated2022111]

Mine

[seyvetch]

mime

[the-bone-thief]

Time

[premiumshitposting]

Tome