noise dept.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
d e v o n
Kiana Khansmith
will byers stan first human second
i don't do bad sauce passes
Mike Driver
No title available
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosimo Galluzzi
DEAR READER
oozey mess
No title available
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
NASA
blake kathryn
styofa doing anything
No title available
Claire Keane
@theartofmadeline
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@presentation-over-perfection
A witch is a magic user with more focus on medicine and the body and a wizard is a magic user with more focus on like physics and academia. I don’t know what dingus made up one day that they’re just the 2 magic genders, that sounds stupid
witches = magic doctors, wizards = magic researchers, artificers = magic engineers, alchemists = magic chemists, sorcerers = magic youtubers
What about warlocks?
[deep, deep, deep sigh]
magic sugar babies
It really be like this
Push play and just trust me
This sounds like something that would be playing in a story set in Victorian London slums or something? I DON’T KNOW.
ITS A GODDAMN SHANTY
its appropriate anywhere from the wild west to a pirate ship to imperial russia a jaunty steampunk adventure to one impressive bard
ok this shit FUCKS
@broadwaytheanimatedseries @dia-mond-universe
Damn this fucking slaps
Vitamin String Quartet do covers of pop songs with classical string arrangements. Some of them are really close to the original, like:
Take Me To Church: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLs_-SXZGqE
Bohemian Rhapsody: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjD80dBPelI
Wonderwall: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvHkxAb3tNY
But others are just far enough away that they sound like classical music for a minute:
Pompeii: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIcDIZGlr9U
this oddly sad cover of Despacito: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAi-F1Io7gc
Alejandro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6kkHp_Qj-U
hufflepuff more like hufflePREP amirite
If you know what this is referencing you deserve a senior discount
Rations for various RPG Races
[[ Source. Original creator: wats6831. Additional information and images linked under each one. ]]
Universal:
Homemade artisan herb bread, home grown and dried apples and prunes, uncured beef sausage, munster cheese. Made a small bag from cheesecloth and tied it closed.
Discussion thread here.
Dwarf:
Garlic chicken livers, smoked and peppered cheese, spiced pork sausages, hard tack, dried vegetables, dried wild mushrooms.
Discussion thread here.
Elf:
Top left to right: Evereskan Honey Comb, Elven Travel Bread (Amaretto Liquer Cake with custom swirls), Lurien Spring Cheese (goat cheese with garlic, salt, spices and shallots), Delimbyr Vale Smoked Silverfin (Salmon), Honey Spiced Lichen (Kale Chips), and Silverwood Pine Nuts.
Discussion thread here.
Halfling:
From upper left: “Honeytack” Hard tack honey cakes, beef sausage, pork sausage mini links, mini whole wheat toast, cranberry cheddar cheese mini wedge, mini pickles, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, lower right is my homemade “travel cake” muesli with raisins, golden prunes, honey, eggs and cream.
Discussion thread here.
Half-Orc:
Wrapped in cheesecloth and tied in burlap package. Forest strider drumsticks, molasses sweet wheat bread “black strap”, aged Munster, hard boiled eggs, mixed wild nuts.
Discussion thread here.
Orc:
Orcs aren’t known for their great cuisine. Orcs prefer foods that are readily available (whatever can be had by raiding), and portable with little preparation, though they have a few racial delicacies. Toughs strips of lean meat, bones scavenged from recent kills, and dark coarse bread make up the bulk of common orc rations.Fire roasted rothe femur (marrow is a rare treat) [beef femur], Strips of dried meat (of unknown origin) [homemade goose jerky], foraged nuts, only edible by orcs….nut cracker tusks [brazil nuts], coarse black bread, made with whatever grains can be pillaged [black sesame bread], Pungent peppers [Habanero peppers stuffed with smoked fish and olives].
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Gnome:
Pan fried Delimbyr smelt, spiced goat cheese (paprika crusted hand pressed Fontina), Gnome shortbread (savory pistachio), glass travel jar filled with Secomber Red (wine), hard boiled quail eggs packed in rolled oats (to keep safe), dried figs from Calimshan, and Southwood smoked goat sausage (blood sausage).
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Lizardfolk:
Lizardfolk are known to be omnivores, forage for a surprising variety of foods found within the confines of their marshy environs, in this case the Lizard Marsh near Daggerford. Fresh caught boiled Delimbyr Crayfish on wild chives, coastal carrageen moss entrapping estuary brine shrimp (irish moss, dried brine shrimp), Brackish-Berries (blackberries), Blackened Dart-Frog legs (frog legs) on spring sprouts (clover sprouts), roasted bog bugs on a stick!
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Drow:
From top left: Menzoberranzan black truffle rothe cheese (Black Knight Tilsit), Donigarten Moss Snails (Escargot in shallot butter sauce), Blind cave fish caviar in mushroom caps (Lumpfish caviar), faerzress infused duck egg imported from the surface Realms (Century egg), Black velvet ear fungus (Auricularia Black Fungus Mushroom).
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Drow will also eat A Fucking Rock if it’s goth enough
#this rules to such a ridiculous degree im aghast
you know what im gonna reblog this to my main as well as my aesthetic blog because this post kicked my ass
,Automatic reblog
What it's like to live and work with 6 people of 5 different nationalities and none of you is a native English speaker
- desperately trying to explain to another coworker that your Bangladeshi flatmate is saying "pea shells" and not "bee shells" ("pea pods, du ved, ærte... skræller..? Ærtebælge!“)
- Tunisian guy says a French word. Everyone understands. French guy says "it's the same in English"
- you forget the English word for strainer. You know it in German. Only your Austrian flatmate understands what you're talking about.
- "according to my high school diploma I speak B1 French"
- Austrian forgets the English word for fork, but remembers it in Danish.
- "I don't have the name in English" *tells us what an animal is called in Latin*
- 0 out of 6 people can remember what broom is called in English
- "fucking... she's trying to kill me" – our Frenchman after tripping over the dishwasher
- *accidentally speaks Danish to non-Danish flatmate* *starts to say something in English to my family* *is spoken to in English by Danish flatmate*
- I tell the Frenchman to write leverpostej om the shopping list. He looks at me like he's dead inside and writes pâté
- no one knows how to spell
- "what gender is apple in German?" "is book neuter or common gender in Danish?" *calls an inanimate object he or she* "what's the plural of hus? Huser?"
- What are gendered genitive pronouns? I mean, who really knows? Not the French speakers, that's for sure!
- everyone speaks 2 languages, most at least kind of speak 3.
- my English gets worse for every day that passes
-translating jokes from your native language to English makes for the best anti jokes. "A dwarf walks into a bar and the bartender asks him 'Do you play cards?' 'No, I was born this way,' the dwarf answers"
- Austrian: "ti, tyve..... uhhhh..... fyrre, halvtreds, tres, halvfjerds.... fjers?? ..... ...?????? hundred."
- "can you hand me the... Uhh... You know the, the thingy!" "The what?" "THE BOWL!"
- "You can't name your child Valdemar, that's the guy from Harry Potter!"
- I try to speak German and my Austrian roommate tells me that my accent is cute because I speak the hard German sounds so softly
- Frenchman imitates really bad French accent and it's hilarious
- someone thought the Austrian was Scottish because she rolls her r's
- "Share a coke with... Vendire... Veninerere..." "Veninderne" "Please tell me that's not a name" "It's means female friends"
- Høkeren -> hookeren
- *French speakers forget to pronounce an h*
- there's a heated discussion about whether or not some penguins can fly. The argument immediately dissolves as it is revealed that in French auks are called penguins.
- you learn to never correct people unless they ask you to or you literally do not understand what they're saying
- you translate an idiom from your own language into English. It's the same in one of the other languages, but not in English. No one questions it.
- you borrow a flatmate's Netflix. All the titles are in a language you don't speak. FRIENDS is dubbed in German, so you turn on sous-titres. They're in Bangla.
- "Santa Claus surprise", the Frenchman cheerfully says about secret santa
- you try to talk about knitting with your roommates but you don't know any of the proper terms in English. They try to talk about crotcheing in turn, but they don't even know what that's called.
- you have to disassemble the couch, so you send your roommate to get the tools for doing that. You never talk about the tools of which you don't know the names, but she brings the right ones regardless.
- you say a sentence and someone repeats it back to you, mispronouncing one of the words because they're certain you mispronounced it
- you somehow manage to hold a conversation in two languages at once
reblog the Don Draper of getting a job he’s unqualified for and you’ll have 10 years of getting jobs you’re unqualified for
No but my dad actually did this at McDonalds in the 70s!
So here’s a true story: my father, sometime in the 70s was looking for his first job. He went to the local McDonalds and told the staff, [manager’s name] said I was supposed to start today. They took his word for it and started training him and by the time the manager saw him and asked who he was, people just said “oh that’s the new guy.”
Somehow this actually worked. My dad worked there for a couple of years as a cook. He even won an award plaque which he had on the wall until the day he died.
Confidence Helps
Me, walking into FBI Headquarters:
“Name’s Burt Macklin, I work here now.”
Shit this got me out here cryin in the club
TERFS do not interact
Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone
The movie establishes that the phone lines to the house are down, that’s also why nobody is able to call Kevin at home. The movie also establishes that all of his neighbors are out of town which is why he couldn’t borrow their phones. The movie ALSO BEGINS by introducing the main antagonist as a “police officer” which is why Kevin doesn’t trust the cops. I’m so tired of the ignorance. The slander.
FINALLY we’ve reached the time of year for home alone discourse
#he did what he needed to do to survive. then he did a bunch of other stuff he felt like doing (via @hotcrossedfangs)
“I have a mental illness”= generic, vulnerable, people judge you for it
“My bloodline is cursed to fight unseen demons”= heroic, fairy tale-esque, too weird to be open for further questioning
the older I get the more dog I become
obsessed with being given affection and being told im doing a good job… losing my damn mind every time I get to go for a nice walk
TERRIFIED of the doorbell
M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S
It’s not Christmas unless this giftset has appeared on your dash at least five times.
It’s back 💕
it’s not christmas without wilf on your dash
Annual Wilf reblog.
I kinda love Wilf
Wilf was awesome.
THIS. I wish I could be as eloquent as this person. Because this is how you make a difference.
for everyone in the notes asking: this was @raindovemodel (who is no longer active on tumblr, they’re active on instagram where this was posted but i wont link it because tumblr would hide this in the notes)
Rain (any pronouns) is a genderfluid model & posts a lot about how their ability to “pass” as either a man or a woman influences them, and shows off the absurdity of double standards such as mens vs womens olympic uniforms and societal treatment based on perceived gender
They’re also incredibly patient with transphobes and other bigots, and much more so than most of us can manage and I think it’s amazing that they put up with what people say & do
BRO !!!!!!
Don’t come at me about the Bible and homosexuality if you’re using it to justify your homophobia. I will demolish you.
Also, for some cultures including early Christianity, sodomite could very well have ment someone gravely inhospitable, as the sin of Sodom was inhospitality and not anal sex.
I wanted to talk about that too but I was running out of tweets I could put on a singular thread 😅 thank you so much for this addition!
@louithescribe
I’m reblogging this partially because it’s frickin awesome, and partially for future reference, cus yeah the evangelical community is really scary to be in as part of the LGBTQA community
People keep asking for the links on the thread, so, here’s a link to the thread.
Whoa this is one of the BEST things I’ve ever seen!! And I learned a lot from it which I can tell my LGBTQ+ friends so that they can also destroy someone with this knowledge! Thank you so much for making a stand!
This was some hella good stuff here. I knew there was corruption with Bible verses and such but wow this was supremely informative!
I’ve reblogged this before, but I always feel like someone might need to see this.
i wrote half an essay in 20mins today when it’s not even due for another 4 weeks, reblog this to have a productivity lightning bolt strike you like it did me today
my esteemed rival,
my beloved nemesis,
dearly detested,
collection of my favorite responses in the notes
