Drache

Silly Chaos Gremlin

[skeleton-brainz]

After Hal Jordan successfully scores a sugar daddy in bruce wayne. All of the earth Lanterns use Wayne Manor as a motel.

John is first luckily, given he is an architect. Bruce gives him some ground rules, guest wingg only, no drastic edits to the floor plan. And no stupid charges on his card (the last one lasts for 1 second until John and Hal buy an inflatable car dealership guy.

His room is basically invincible, just so he doesnt damage any other rooms while disecting weapons. Including bombs to "adequately see what he may need to construct"

Bruce: Hey Joh- why do you have a missile?

John: Hal said i dont need anything past a Machine gun that shoots not lethals, but i still like to check

Bruce: *Slowly closes door made of a material not found on earth but John found it.

Guys doesnt have too many changes, he did completely remove any traces of personality. Save for one funky rug he designed based on all the rings he wore. It is very male living space, bed, beige wall, couch, gaming stuff, computer, and giant tv. But did have to be soundproof (he gets too "excited"(angry) with the bachelor

Hal, pre soundproofing: Hey not agreeing just repeating, could we tone it do-

Guy, sobbing into a pillow: How could Arie do that??????

Hal: Im just gonna go

Kyle decided he was too good for a room, and instead chose the attic and replaced some if the roof with windows (John did it but Kyle was the visionary) his room Is directly across from Damians studio. Which adds to their slight competitiveness.

Guy, who got lost (its been 6 months in space): Kyle, wheres the kitchen?

Kyle: Stressfully painting a giant canvas

Guy: Whats going on?

Kyle: *Points without looking away from canvas*

Guy: *Uses ring to construct binoculars*

Damian, across the mansion: *Painting an equally large canvas calmly*

Simon took a room that faces Mecca, because sometimes you are in soace and dont know where to face. And then you go home and still dont remember. He bonds with Damian, and decorates like an arab grandma. Soundproofed aswell so no one hears him during his visions

Kyle: Why do you have Damis teapot in here?

Simon: *Faces the horrors he cannot stop* Tea

Kyle: Okay. He wants it back

Simon: if he does we all die...

Simon: Kidding, go ahead. And tell Bruce i lovs him.

Jessicas is a GAD heaven, or hell depending on what you view it as. She has collections of every possible cure for her anxiety and agoraphobia in there. But all it does is stresses her out.

John: Can i borrow your ring charger?

Jessica: *Under two weighted blankets, 75 lavender candles around her room lit* Im so relaxed, im so relaxed.

Jo only recently agreed to move in, and her room is just balls to the walls covered in memorabilia, posters, a ginat screen she projects her ao3 on. She binds fanfictions for personal use (hate her all you want, she cant get wifi in space)

Jo: *Bruce x Bat Smut projected onto her wall*

Anyone who walks in, immediately walks out.

Except Guy, its basically the Bachelor, except not at all.

[bruce-wayne-enjoyer]

FUCK it's genius

It's like when one of your girl friends marry rich so you ALL start living well, unless her mans wants you guys to start gatekeeping her

Also the kids absolutely adore having "extended family" (Yes, B, extended family) visiting between missions or for when Hal hosts small gatherings for Earth's lanterns

Simon and Damian bonding over art and reminding each other to pray on time. Cass appearing in Jo's room to just vibe, usually sitting on her table while she explains shit like what a yumeship is. Tim and Jessica trading weighted blankets. Dick and Jason ransacking Kyle's attic, for completely different reasons. John and Alfred bonding over being old family men who are also very tired about not being taken for the insane creatures that they are. Guy and Stephanie bonding over movies, and trade stories about work beef. Duke and Hal, of course, being 🤞 with each other.

And Bruce just being fond... and tired.

----

Bruce, coming home: Hello, people who don't live here.

John, Jessica, Jo, Simon, Guy, Kyle, Hal, drinking and playing cards on the stairway in the foyer, of all places: Yoww.

Bruce: I gave you all keys for emergencies.

Jessica: This is an emergency. We couldn't find the bottle opener in Jo's kitchen.

John: Also your floor is nicer.

Bruce:

Simon, puts down a +4 uno card: Go fish.

Kyle: FUCK [passes a mahjong piece] I fold.

[skeleton-brainz]

Bruce: it really sucks i have to marry you and they all will move in

Hal: You dont have t-

Bruce, slightly louder: IT REALLY SUCKS WE ATE GETTING MARRIEF AND ALL OF YOU ARE MOVING IN

____

Jason: whats got your panties in a bunch

Bruce: hmmm (My boyfriend is in space, and so are his children (green lanterns he trained))

____

Jo: So thats the omegaverse, any questions?

Cass: *Raises hand*

Jason: *Puts her hand down*

____

Damian: Rayner, good competition. I will enjoy our time together. Now i must meditate with Cruz

Kyle: I want competing i was doodling??

____

Dick: So do you have any visions about me?

Simon, who has been asked this 20 times: Yes, you shit yourself to the electric slide later today

____

Tim: No you cannot

John: But-

Tim: You cannot make a demon core "just to see what to build"

John: Ugh, im doing it anyways. No white boy can tell me what i can and cant do

____

Duke: No

Guy: Why

Duke: Because

Guy: When you think about it, real housewives is more like mma than you think. They hit each other. Please let me go to the movie room.

____

Honorary mention

Steph: So if i were to say, be horned up-

Carol: Nope, needs to be loved

Steph: Well what if i love myself during it

Carol: Here, have my ring. Go crazy, just sanitize it. I need to see Hal.

[papayafromtv]

genuinely the funniest fucking thing to me right now is the knowledge that Jason Todd wasn't even the first Red Robin, because before the Countdown series Red Robin was actually first introduced a little over a decade beforehand in the Kingdom Come series where Dick Grayson was Red Robin, so technically it can be said that he nicked that title from Dick as well. there's also Brother's in Blood, where the entire premise is Dick just trying to exist in Bludhaven when Jason shows up and steals the Nightwing suit and refuses to stop fucking following him. I'm fucking crying Jason what's your problem. how is there not a comic scene of Jason complaining to Dick about Tim stealing Robin from him while Dick just. takes a deep breath and tries not to slap him in the face with a beer bottle.

[skeleton-brainz]

Jason: i would never do that to you

Dick: Bitch you literally did????Like three times????

Jason: I know 😝

[adelescd]

She will eat him alive.

[starwrighter]

Ghost chirps au but instead of the cute little bird songs and peeps it’s just-

“CAW”

Like a giant crow or flock of crows if there’s more than one ghost. Danny being able to gather all of Gotham’s crows, as a giant army because he sounds like them.

Crows: Who tf are you

Danny: CAW

Crows: Say less homie

He’s named every last one of them and has trained them all to pick locks and steal. He’s respected by the crows because he’s the only one with dexterous hands. If they can’t open something they call in the big guns (AKA Danny) Like imagine being a Gothamite and watching a enormous flock of crows seemingly summoning a scrawny child out nowhere to unlock a dumpster? Like they’re crowding around him like he’s the messiah, a god even and they all just squawk in unison when the kid pulls out a bobby pin and picks the padlock. They’re dropping, coins, bottle caps, earrings, bullet shells, anything vaguely shiny and the occasional paper money into his hands.

The kid has a necklace of soda tabs and bottle cap earrings. He also just walks around collecting beer bottles and later sells little glass statues that have a bioluminescent glow (HC that Danny can melt and shape glass with weaker ecto blasts) Glowing glass jewelry is weaved into his hair that is seemingly a identity confirmation for the crows.

Nobody knows the kids name he just showed up one day with his massive army of crows and started to wander. After around a month of the kid wandering around without a care in the world and not dying the locals decide “Huh, I guess crow prince is here to stay,” Like, they accept him as a local cryptid.

Like “Yeah, crow king just kind of vibes but if you give him food, he’ll bash in a pedophiles kneecaps,”

Shit goes down When Danny discovers his chirps can also sound like geese.

[drowningroane]

A Murder of Crows and a Gaggle of Geese are just following this Cryptid and all the Gothamites learn do Not mess with the Birds or the Other. The Court of Owls learned that fact the hard way.

[listen------sleep]

Round one: Crows vs owls who will win

Round two: WHERE DID THE GEESE COME FROM

[starwrighter]

Danny just sits there as his bird friends demolish these guy. One gets close enough to attempt to stab Danny and Danny just clotheslines them into the wall like “Oi! No touching ):< “

The geese are like his ultimate weapons, incredibly angry and incredibly powerful like an atomic bomb with feathers! He puts glass bells on them so people know when they’re coming and can panic accordingly.

*Bell jingles*

Gothamite criminal: *whispers* oh god oh fuck lord save us they’re here

Cat: Meow

Gothamite sighing in relief: It’s a false alarm guys don’t worry

The goose army: Surprise bitch the cat snitched

*Various screams of terror followed by loud honking noises*

It’s perfect! I imagine you can hear danny cackling in the background of every attack so you absolutely know he’s the one who sent them and this isn’t just a regular case of natural goose violence.

You can tell if Danny’s on a war path by how many geese he has in his entourage.

[evilminji]

Oh but what about the TALONS we hear you ask? SURELY with their kung-fu action super-soldier grips, they should be able to-?

INCORRECT.

He has STOLEN YOUR DEAD BIRB PEOPLE.

They send the Talons. Laughing. Because, ha! It's JUST geese and crows right? They'll eat a goose dinner, etc etc, fill in jokes here. But? The Talons they send? Do Not come back.

They send more.

THOSE do not come back.

Talon storage gets RAIDED. The sky above awash with black birds. Mocking. Laughing. Caw Caw Caw~

That horrid little gremlin shows up AGAIN... followed by birds... and Talons in CROW masks.

What. Their Talons are being AMBUSHED by OTHER Talons. "Crows". Which are THEMSELVES followed by legions of ACTUAL crows. Now NO ONE knows which flock of birds is going to be That Horrid Gremlin and which will be one of his Crows.

What do they even WANT!? (Mostly? Bird seed for their avian friends. Bread and fruit as treats. Shiny things. And whatever Special Interests their feeble, underdeveloped little Cores are starting to develop. The Crow Child is helping them learn to be PEOPLE again.)

(They do not LIKE Owls.)

And? You know what the court of Owls are without Talons? Mostly just Rich, entitled, assholes. Used to fighting human fights against people following mostly human rules.

Geese? Will shit in your pool. Will RE-shit in your pool after you have payed to have it cleaned. Birds can and WILL kill you with the death by a thousand petty, minor, COSTLY inconveniences. And Crows?

Fuck your skylight! *drops moderate rock from a decent distance up* *CRASH!*

There is a REASON the Harpies are avian. NO ONE harries a man to his Doom like the BIRDS. Dive in, bite and claw, peck and scrape, the flick back before their swing can strike you. Batter them with wings and wind! Caw! CAW! C A W!!!

Take TURNS. All hours of the day and Night. Caw! CAW! C A W!!!

Rip up their gardens! Swoop at their guests! Scratch and destroy anything left outside! Flick stones at their windows! Bring trash to the land and drop it! Break them, break them, break them! Caw! CAW! C A W!!!

What is Batman supposed to do? Capture thousands of birds and put them down? You really think he WOULD? The best HE can do is try to find the... and let's be real here, probably some sort of Fae? Demon? Child that has Roosted in Gotham (because OF COURSE he did. Why does EVERY weird and disturbing bit of bullshit have to come to our city? We know we're cursed... but Come ON! This feels PETTY!) and maybe? Ask him to stop.

But HONESTLY? Most of them don't even MIND the probably DEEPLY cursed Supernatural Crow Child. If you feed him, he protects the area better then the cops! Plus he's nice to kids. Has yet to eat anyone or attack the general public.

It's like waking up to discover a sleep paralysis demon has moved in to the linen closet and just sort of... lives there now. Is the little nightmare CREEPY? Oh yes, deeply. But he's generally harmless and will pass you the bedsheets if you ask politely. We adapt. Gotham just has a Creepy Crow Child and Bat Cryptids, now.

They don't get along. Territory disputes, probably. Look, you want this sub here or to go?

It's GREAT :D

@hdgnj @ailithnight

[hdgnj]

The Crow Child now has friends? Ex-Talons who are learning to people again? Are being taught the ways of mischief? Give the Talons ways to prank? You give the Talons to the chaos child? All of those deeply hidden dark secrets? Are now in his hands.

Red Hood and Red Robin start finding folders. Just full of incredibly useful blackmail material. The Crow Child and his army of birds and undeharrying harrying the bad guys. Drain their money bit by bit. Gives them time to set up a solid case.

Batman is deeply conflicted. The Crow Child clearly has good intentions. But the deeply supernatural creepy entity? Now has an army of undead assassins. And he is glad they are no longer with the Court. Obviously. But.... What is he plotting? (mischief mostly, don't worry B!)

[nightfox321]

ya don't worry B.

[angryraptor13]

The Crow!Talons collect blackmail like magpies collect shiny things. If you randomly find a manila folder full of info on your worst enemies, that means they like you 😃

[hdgnj]

Red Hood gets piles of the blasted things. He's not mad about it. But it is always anxiety inducing to wake up to them on your bedside table.

[evilminji]

The also stuff his fridge with "vegetables". ARE most of these plants edible? Probably. In the technical sense. But they sure as shit have only a loose grasp of what counts as "leafy greens" when people talk about how healthy they are.

He's pretty sure this was ripped bare handed from a ficus. And that one's... fuck he's gonna have to Moogle it. He just wanted his breakfast takeout.

At least they're no longer breaking the dishes trying to help.

And the little Crow Bastard is no better! Jason tries to chase him down to feed him and make sure he has his shots and shit? And WHAT does he get for his sacrifice? Bite marks! Yowling like a deranged cat! Children need to BATHE you unholy Cryptid fuck! *gleefully spiteful Birb hissing from Danny, who rolls in mud to mock him*

Oh? Oh you think he won't GO? Let's GO! Bath time you little shit! He's getting THE HOSE!

(It's a strange day in Gotham. But... aren't they all?)

[hdgnj]

Jason bitches about it to Alfred who just smiles fondly.

Alfred: Ah, just like Master Dick when he was younger.

Jason: How exactly did you reign the beast in? Cause I'm getting real sick of the bite marks...

[evilminji]

Smash cut to Known Crime Lord at the Gotham Zoo interviewing the zookeeper like "mmhmm, mmhmm, I see *scribbles notes* " as the show him the HEAVY padding they use for the... Spicy ones. Fiesty babies. Bastards.

Rub your arms in anti-bite spray. You'll taste bad.

*betrayed Caws from the trees!*

Look, they're sorry! But they have to agree! Hygiene is important for every animals health!

.....have you tried enrichment? Shiny toys? *intrigued Crow noises?* bribes DO work wonders they say! *bribe-able birb noises!*

[zack-creeper]

Crow King is another cryptid vigilante to Gothamites, but a rogue in the bats eyes.

He 100% has a shop in the city and tree house mansion where he and his birds hang, and he 100% takes care of Gothams swans and pigeons too. (The swans because they also like the semi-feral cryptid fea boy, and they have beef with the geese and want to prove themselves the superior attack bird brigade. And the pigeons because they often struggle with things and have bad lungs because they keep flying too high into the Gotham smog zone)

The talons love their new smol Crow Monarch, the new masks he has given them.

Hood loves his feral cat/bird/boy/cryptid/fea/hero he just wishes he would take a bath and let him house him and feed him.

[danny-and-hisshadow]

Did you know that swans can 'punch' you? They punch with the bend in their wings, very willing to drown you too, people have been killed by swans knocking them out of boats and drowning them

[mikami1992]

Now I have a mental image of a couple on a boat in the middle of the lake…

When a wild swan arrives, it hits one of them with its wing, throws it into the water and a group of swans manage to drown it in the water.

…all while the other person shouts "well done Fred, finish off that cheater"

…yep, another citizen takes his unfaithful partner to be hunted by the lake's swans…

…Only in Gotham City

[zack-creeper]

THERE BASE IS DUBBED THE ROOST AND DANNY ABSOLUTELY LOVES IT!

They also peck unsuspecting visiting heros and are a very effective deterrent to uninvited guests, so Constantin, attacked, on sight!

Crow king does not vibe with the splintered soul.

[not-my-final-account]

In the first few Justice League meetings Flash showed up with crow sounds for dramatic reasons and what not, no one expect Batman to screech NO and immediately pull his cloak up to cover him. No one ever lets him live it down and he never stops insisting it’s necessary.

One day for whatever reason they have to go to Gotham, Batman uses anti-bite spray and they all laugh in his face, then someone yells CAW CAW and everything they see gets blacked out in a murder of crows.

After a few seconds all their suits are ripped and torn, Batman lowers down his cloak which was covering him and therefore the only thing ripped. He smirks at the absolutely shooken group of heros and reveals that he still has his wallet and various other trinkets, they all realise they have been mugged. By crows. Batman was right. To be scared of crows.

“YOUR SHINYS WILL BE TAKEN BACK TO THE ROOST…” rattles the voice of an assassin wearing a crow mask, the six collective assassins look at you with grins ranging from smug to mischievous to sh!t eating and they disappear when a boy with white hair who is floating caws again and they disappear in a cloud of crows.

Batman gives them a look and they know they are never going to live this down.

“You don’t get the anti-bite spray, after all, why would you need it?”

[proneterror204]

Danny totally steals from the heroes. Wonder woman's lasso of truth, gone. Green lantern's power ring, gone. Green arrows bow and his arrows, gone. Flash's wallet and all the snacks, gone. Martin Manhunter, untouched.

[imsotiredfanficlovertm]

I cannot ever emphasize how much this is a great idea and I love it

[buggybastard]

I feel like the gothamites would have t-shirts, and sell merch like how the bats have merch

[anemptyvoidforall]

Martian manhunt is not untouched, he was lifted a shiny its in one of his pockets

[seraphichana]

Is it one of the bioluminecent glass shinies that Danny melts down?

[xaniquail]

Danny goes to the beach and aquires a new living annoyance, seagulls. The seagulls then proceeded to stare down the joker and then steal his acid somehow

[birdbitch0010]

My god, the first thing that popped into my head seeing this was the seagulls stealing the acid, and then maintaining aggressive eye-contact while eating the acid like the drug. Somehow they don’t die or even get mutilated actually, but now there’s a bunch of likely heavily mutated attack seagulls tripping balls and making the most unholy sounds as they rip at jokers hair and try to peck out his eyes. This makes Gotham somehow even more respectful of bird boy’s space

[raaenaearee]

Meermaids would probably not get backpain from big tiddis

[raaenaearee]

I just realised I probably should have explaind further how I came to that conclusion; bc the thing is I'm taking a bath like always my tits flowt in the water wich I usually observ and not further question, except this time and I came to the conclusion that they basicly are just lumps of fat and fat flowts so obviously they flowt, wich opend the thoght path of so being in the water would reduce the weight tits put on the spine to what can live in the water and have tiddis to I can't think of anything wait ✨meermaids✨ to could that be a worldbilding block advantage to lure in sailors via bigger tits

[raaenaearee]

Meermaids would probably not get backpain from big tiddis

[birthed-in-the-cosmos]

Imagine this:

Jason Todd with halo hair, instead of his white stripe.

It fits with the fact that he went to heaven (this is canon, ppl, believe it or not) after dying the first time, and well, I'd like to imagine that heaven had a hard time giving him up, so they decided to send him back with a little reminder.

Hence, the angel halo that's basically imprinted on his head.

Also, I just think it would be cute.

[birthed-in-the-cosmos]

and for those of you wondering, I'm imagining smth like this:

[raaenaearee]

How about some Wing scars as well

[moonchild-nissa]

Tim spends a lot of time watching Kon

( reference )

[iamartoftomorrow]

“Hey, remember that Sanders Sides cartoon from the 90’s…?”✍🏽🤔

[chaoticbatfam]

red hood: *in the middle of helping a criminal's face to resemble Blue Water Lilies by Claude Monet* wait. hold up criminal: *sobbing* h-huh? red hood: *pulls a phone out hif his leather jacket pocket* just a sec criminal: w-what? red hood: i got a comment criminal: a-are you LIVESTREAMING this??!? red hood: *looks up for a second, then back down* what? no, that's ridiculous. i got a comment on my fanfic criminal: nearby thug: ship? red hood: *without missing a beat* BatLantern. because i know it pisses him off and i'm trying to see if i can get disowned a second time

[whoahtherebats]

Nearby thug: Link?

Red Hood: How would you even read a fic in jail?

Nearby thug: If there’s a screen, ao3 will be seen

Red Hood: You know what, User is NotTheRedHood2167. Caps after every word, no space in between.

Nearby thug: Thanks hood

Criminal: … *cries*

[that1randomnerd]

they use the .gay link to get past the prison content filters

[oceanview15]

I need an entire comic mini series from the perspective of the Bludhaven Police Department every time Red Hood is brought up or even there in person

Cop: Man that Red Hood guy is really making a name for himself. It’s pretty impressive how quickly he’s risen to power, actually.

Dick: (already annoyed at Jason because he won’t return Dick’s favorite hoodie) Don’t even give him that kind of credit. A crime lord deserves no praise.

Another cop: Yeah, I’m just glad the crazy bastard isn’t here. That piece of shit should be locked up forever.

Dick: (getting defensive now because that IS his little brother) He’s still a person, Jerry! Even if he is a criminal you shouldn’t talk about him like that! He’s trying his best!

The rest of the precinct: ????

The infamous Red Hood has been brought in to the Bludhaven Police Department for questioning after being found running operations in their city. Surprisingly, Officer Grayson insisted that he be the one to question him. (Jason let himself get caught on purpose)

Dick: Alright, you low life piece of trash! You’re gonna answer my questions quickly so we can both get on with our days! (They both agreed to be at family dinner at the manor tonight)

Jason: Sorry, I don’t speak swine.

Dick: YOU KNOW WHAT- (leaps over the table)

The other cops find Officer Grayson and Red Hood in a wrestling/slap fight on the ground

[papayafromtv]

scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 1

-

Tim: me and Damian- me and Damian have come a long way. we have to at least publically admit that. he loves me now.

Damian: *non-committal hum*

Tim, bargaining: favourite brother.

Damian: Akhi.

Tim: favourite brother that you met in Gotham.

Damian: Duke.

Tim, under his breath: fuck, forgot about him. he is cool.

Dick, holding up a hand: i'm slightly offended i haven't shown up on the list yet?

Tim, waving him off: oh shut up, you were basically a father figure. you're expelled from the rankings. Day, am i at least your favourite white boy?

Damian: ...Akhi.

Tim: HE CAN'T HAVE TWO CATAGORIES.

Damian, storming out the room: FUCK YOU- HE SUNG ME TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT!

Tim, chasing Damian out of the room: i can sing- I CAN FUCKING SING- auh-maaazinng grAAACE-

Dick, watching after them:

Dick: those two will do great things one day. *turns to see Jason staring into space with narrowed eyes*

Dick:

Dick: ...you uh- you ok there littlewing?

Jason:

Jason, slowly: Dick. do you think.... am i white?

Dick:

Dick:

Dick, carefully: are you- are you not?

Jason: well i mean. i never really- Willis was white, right? like. american and a bit scottish i think. and Catherine was white, so i didn't think about it. like. next to you or Day or Duke i look like buff momo. so.

Dick, supportively: uh-huh,

Jason: but then, like. Catherine wasn't my biological mom. Sheila was. and i tracked Sheila down to Ethiopia.

Dick: yeah,

Jason: and i didn't- like i didn't think about it at the time, so i didn't ask like. why the fuck are you in Ethiopia? like, do we got family here? are you- are you ethiopian? just a day trip? dart at a map?

Jason: and then we both kinda died. so.

Dick, slower: yeah...

Jason, completely genuine: and also, like. i accidentially drank a lot of the lazarus water when i was in there; i opened my mouth i guess. and that shit still affects my biology. so does that mean i accidentially swallowed arabic? am i- *quieter* ...am i that now?

Dick:

Dick:

Dick, putting all his effort into keeping a straight face, covering his mouth stoically: i... see.

Jason, oblivious, slightly worried: yeah,

Dick: it's uh- it's um. those are very valid hypothesis's.

Jason:

Jason, softly: you're laughing at me.

Dick, instant, equally soft: i would- i would never. this is.... *blinks purposefully* this. is. not funny. because race is never funny. and i love you, Jason. so if this bothers you, i- *throat clear* i want to help.

Jason:

Dick: ....should we do a DNA test? so we can find out if you're ethiopian? or... *bites lip* arabic?

Jason: ...*worried sigh* i don't know if we should? like, everybody assumes im pure american white right now? maybe that's for the better?

Dick, closing his eyes momentarily: *face flickers in amusement* *coughs quickly* mhm, mhm. um, why- whys that, Jay?

Jason, softly, still completely serious: well... i do a lot of criminal stuff. and right now if i do that stuff as a white person then who cares, right? but if i'm not white... then me being a crime lord just makes me a statistic. a stereotype.

Dick: *presses lips together, shaking slightly*

Jason, whispering: i don't want to add to that kind of propaganda by being Red Hood, Dick...

Dick:

Dick:

Dick, trying his best not to whimper: a- *clears throat* and that is, so very thoughtful of you, Jason. so thoughtful. i'm sure the mixed community would be lucky to have you, and they would be so appreciative of your care,

Dick, putting a hand on Jason's shoulder sweetly: but i don't think you have to worry because you do wear a face covering helmet and nobody knows Red Hood's skin colour or race. so lets just-

Dick: *turns away abruptly, face cracking, shoulders shaking*

Jason:

Dick: *takes a deep breath* *turns back with his face completely ernest and supportive* lets go and get you a DNA test to calm you down, and then you can stop wondering, ok kiddo?

Jason:

Jason, nodding softly: ok...

Jason: *leaves the room*

Dick, hanging back:

Dick: man, it's gonna be so funny when i hack the results and make him think he's 45% african american.

*Dick leaves the room*

Alfred, on the other side of the room, staring across from where he's been cleaning:

Alfred:

Alfred, continuing to clean: not touching that.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Did another Puca Animation test! I wanted to combine the single-suspension gallop of a horse with the double-suspension gallop of a dog to make something really Uncanny.

There's a few places I can smooth her out (esp in the shoulders and tail) but I'm really proud of her gait and that rock.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Round Two! Worked really hard on the muscles, mane/tail, resized ears, bit of a pattern- I'm really pleased with this, but I think that what it needs now is to go from 12 frames to 24.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Did some Tweaks- got the coat colors a little more consistent, fixed the rock issue and got rid of a few lines that weren't matching up nicely, so she's a LOT Smoother IMHO.

I think I still need to draw 12 more frames for this to REALLY look like I want it, but she's really coming along!

[raaenaearee]

I think she needs a floppi tongue, please.

[akemi2003]

Fic prompt #52

Dpxdc

One of the many perks that came with being crowned Ghost King was the ability to remember his past lives. At first, he hadn’t thought much of it. Sure, it was interesting, but in the end, those were different people who had lived different lives. He was someone new now — with some leftover abilities, knowledge, and instincts, but nothing more.

Or so he thought.

He hadn’t taken into account his most recent past life. The one where he’d been the biological parent of Bruce Wayne. And no matter how young he looked now, that love hadn’t faded. If anything, it only made things stranger.

Because now, his son was his boss.

And, somehow, that wasn’t even the worst part.

No, the real problem was the unbearable awkwardness of knowing that his adopted nephew had started flirting with him.

[zealousember]

Danny: *working minding his business*

Insert past lifes grandchild, multiple are wanting him: flirt

Danny : *inexplicable unsettling feeling* sir/ma'am, I am currently busy can you not.

Insert plgmawh, :okay, see you later *insert flirtatious nickname* *as they start to walk off*

Danny : I need find a magic user they trust so I can tell them. *Danny mutters under his breath*

Camera, caught all of that

- - ,-

Bruce, calling someone: come on John pick up, Zatanna is busy, dr fate refused to help me, so pick up th-

John picks up on the 7th attempt: what is it bats,

Bruce,: well one of my employees said they needed a magic user we could trust, I was informed by hr who was notified by a third party who saw an incident and they sent me numerous videos of well - anyway I want to know what he has to say to me.

John: your talking so much more than usual bats, why is that, doesn't matter, I'll be at your manor in a dau or so, currently busy with a pest problem.

- - ,-

[mkarchin713]

John had been certain this would take an hour, maybe two tops. He had a poker game with Lucifer, Delirium of the Endless and a being he was fairly sure was the ghost of Kronos, tonight and he didn’t plan on missing it.

….

“-I get that I’m attractive but do they really have to flirt with me-“

…

“-Marth-Sa-SaMartha is off hunting down the ghosts of everyone who messed with Bruce, just to kick their asses.-“

…

“-And why does Alfred have to be such a silver fox! I mean I’ve heard of aging like wine but Damn!-

…

“-Does this mean Dan is Bruce’s bonus dad or brother or uncle? Oh god what about Ellie-“

….

“I mean they smells like they’ve been rolling around in ghost booze and or sewage, but they are still my grandsons-“

…

“-and what exactly am I supposed to say to him ‘hi Bruce I’m the reincarnation of your father and want to spend time with you and the kids’ without being dragged to Arkham-“

…

“-when I heard he built a space station, I cried-“

…

It has been four hours and the kid, er, not-kid? Young king? Timeless Eldritch being that looked like he was in his mid twenties was still babbling on and on and on.

The… whatever he identified as, had started repeating himself on the three hour mark and showed no signs of slowing down.

John was so going to miss his poker game.

[nightingale-prompts]

Bruce: How was your first sleepover with Elizabeth Nightingale?

Damian: Eli has very stange sleeping patterns. Half the night she watched me sleep and when I asked why she said she liked the sound of my breathing and heartbeat.

Bruce: And the other half?

Damian: She sleeped like a bat hanging off the bed. Her brother said it was nromal.

Bruce: Sorry then, you don't have to go next time.

Damian: Who said I didn't want to go again?

[yumeiwei]

Dick walks into the Batcave, prepared for his patrol. He walks over to where he stores his suit and starts stripping. However, after getting his shirt off, a Batarang almost hits him.

"Jesus!" Dick cursed, jumping back and falling into a fighting stance, looking around for his attacker.

He gazesed up, assuming the attacker was hiding in the vents because of the trajectory of the Batarang, and froze.

"Baby Bat... and friend..." Dick said slowly, taking in the scene in front of him and slowly getting out of his fighting stance, "What are you doing?"

Damian and his friend were standing upside down on the ceiling of the Batcave. How they got up there and how they weren't falling, Dick doesn't know. But they were wrapped in what looks like sleeping bags, with Damian having an arm out, aiming another Batarang.

"Do not strip in front of Nightingale. This is your only warning." Damian threatened.

Dick... Dick decided he could change at Tim's Nest instead. It's been awhile since he seen the Baby Bird anyway.

Dick packed up his suit, his weapons, put back on his shirt and just... leaves.

[nightingale-prompts]

Damian would not tolerate any disrespect to Nightingale. Dick almost tainted her honor so flippantly. He would need to be more on guard then before.

[mkarchin713]

Idea.

Dick assumes Nightingale is Eli’s hero name, and that she is a new teen vigilante.

In his defense when he was Damian’s age all his friends were Capes or Cape-Adjacent.

It never occurs to him that Eli is supposed to be a civilian.

[iglowinggemma28]

In Dick’s defense this happened on the Bat Cave so she’d have to be REALLY stupid not to figure things out and if she were Damian wouldn’t be able to tolerate her

[barnes-dameron]

*not my gifs*

“Peralta!” Holt yelled, his voice echoing across the bull pen. 

Jake spun around in his chair, his dorky smile never leaving his face. Recently Jake was being punished by Captain Holt for disobeying direct orders on a certain case. In Jake’s defense, he did solve the case while recreating a scene from “Die Hard”. He hated desk duty with a passion, but Amy helped him to realize that there were consequences to his actions. 

“Yeah,” he yelled back in response as Holt made his way to Jake’s desk. 

“The percinct in Queens is overworked at the moment, so they are sending some of their cases here. The uniform officers are busy with people downstairs from both Brooklyn and Queens, so I will need you to do police reports on a couple of people who violated the law,” Holt informed. 

Jake leaned back in his chair and threw back his head, letting out a loud groan that caused everybody around him to turn around. 

“Sir,” Jake replied. “Please let me go out. I think I learned my lesson.”

“That is the thing Peralta,” Holt interjected. “You always claim that you learn your lesson, but you turn around and do the same thing over again. I am done with it. Your first person is waiting for you.”

Jake groaned once more as he turned to get the police report that Holt put on his desk. He sensed the person walk to his desk and sat down in the nearby chair. He quickly read through the police report that was filed by one of the uniform officers in Queens. As he was going through it, it was either Jake was making up some of the stuff listed in his head to make it more interesting, or this stuff was straight out unbelievable. 

Jake leaned forward on his desk, and looked at the person sitting by him at his desk. He wasn’t a man, but rather a teenager. Jake looked back at the police report and then at the kid. 

“So let me get this straight,” Jake said. “You climbed on the side of a building, no ladders or fire escapes just a brick wall with no ropes or suction cups, and broke into an apartment.”

“Well I supposedly did that,” the kid corrected. “And it was my apartment that I broke into. I just didn’t have the key.”

“A woman said it wasn’t your apartment,” Jake replied, showing the kid the woman’s testimony. 

The kid leaned over and quickly scanned his eyes over the testimony. 

“Ms. Ellison has been after me for years,” the kid said, almost like a whine. “You have to believe me. How could a kid climb up the side of a building with nothing?”

Jake leaned back in his chair. The kid had a point. 

“Yeah, maybe she’s just going crazy,” Jake said at last. “It’s either that or you’re Spider-Man.”

Jake laughed, and watched as the kid let out a couple of nervous laughs as well. When Jake makes those kinds of jokes, other people usually laugh and say things like ‘I wish.’ This kid pretty much stayed silent. Jake leaned forward again, eyeing up the kid with curiosity. 

“Are you Spider-Man,” Jake asked in a hush whisper, traced with a little excitement. He looked down at the police report, reading the kid’s name real quick in order to give his question more emphasis. “Peter Parker?”

Peter pursed his lips, and shook his head. 

“Nope,” he said, popping out the ‘p.’ “Can I go? I have to get to my Stark Internship.”

“Yeah, get out of here,” Jake said, making a quick gesture to the door. “Just when I thought things were going to get interesting around here.”

Peter pulled on his backpack, looking at Jake one more time. He had his head propped up on his hand, and was staring at the computer screen. Peter didn’t know why, but he felt sorry for the detective.

“Thanks, Mr. Peralta,” Peter said. “And if you need help with any crimes or something, feel free to let me know. I’m pretty close to Spider-Man.”

“Really?” Jake asked, looking up but not seeing the kid anywhere in the room. “Wow! That kid is fast.” 

Jake got up, and walked over to close the window near his desk. Weird, he thought. Who would open the window in March?

In the distance, Jake saw a figure clad in blue and red swinging around the buildings of New York. 

Yeah, like that kid knows Spider-Man.

[whyenn-reader]

General PSA's for begginer alt crafting

- superglue heats up when in contact with fiber, your craft can start smoking or even catch on fire

- you can wash clothing painted with acrylic paint in the washing machine if you turn it inside out and use the lowest temperature

- don't put painted clothes in the dryer.

- you can wash clothes with metal bits in the washing machine but use the handwashing setting, dry the metal bits with a paper towel before hanging them to dry, and know that it WILL be loud

- synthetic dye is needed to dye synthetic fibers and requires a long time simmering in a boiling pot. This WILL stink up the house and you NEVER want to make food in that pot again

- faux leather is vinyl not leather. Get vinyl paint to paint on it

- don't use your teeth as tools, they don't regenerate. Reconstructing enamel costs a small fortune (ask me how I know.)

- when handsewing a lot through thick fabric get thin needles, it will require less force and be less taxing on your wrists. When machine sewing get a higher grade needle (~130 for jean)

- embroidery floss is overpriced and not as strong as it looks. For sewing on heavy stuff get denim thread, it will last forever

- don't feed a 60$ home sewing machine ten layers of denim before you learn how much a servicing fee costs, these things are dellicate

- spray paint is best applied from 30-40cm away, in swift movements. Putting too much or applying from too close will cause drips. You can sand them down and apply a new layer of paint AFTER they dry. Wipe the can nozzle after painting if it's messy, you don't want it to clog and become unusable

- water based markers on fabric will bleed, if not instantly then with time, alcohol markers will fade with time

- most fabric glues are machine washable up to a certain temperature. modgepodge is not waterproof, hitack is handwash only. Check the instructions

- the flatter the surface the easier hot glue will peel off. Faux leather stands no chance, fibers like yarn will hold it best, but is impossible to remove the glue from them in the future

- rivets are a thing that exists, only require a hammer to install and can be used as permanent fabric attachment

- studs, gromets and other metal junk at small fabric stores are laughably overspriced

- acetone (found in nail polish remover) will remove acrylic stains out of furniture, flooring and faux leather, if used in excess can damage the laquer. Can also be used to remove prints and glue off of plastic (do a small test before commiting, might melt the plastic it it's grade is low)

- residue from stickers (and k-tape) can be removed with oil

- acrylic stains cannot be removed out of clothing or carpet so protect your area before painting and don't wear clothes you care about

- if your thread keeps getting tangled or snagging while handsewing try waxing it

- you can lock in screw-in spikes with screw lock glue if you're scared of them falling off because they unscrew

- you can add washers to screw-in spikes if you're scared of them falling through flimsy fabric or too big of a hole

- if you're making anything out of soda cans have a metal file on hand, they are deceptively sharp and will hurt you and rip through fabric you're installing them in

- bleach can be found in mold killing spray (don't touch that shit with bare hands. chemical burn.)

- fabric paints are no different from slightly dilluted acrylic. You can make it yourself by adding a bit of fabric softener to acrylic or honestly even water

- if you are setting anything with an iron use parchment paper or a pressing cloth to pervent your stuff from sticking to your iron and ruining it

- if you want a safety pin somewhere permanently pinch it shut with pliers

- as much as you can, avoid putting glue on clothing, it makes it really hard to change your decisions later on and upcycle the project in the future

- kiss your friends