I’m glad you asked! Let me answer some other questions in the Notes first before we get to the total.
1. Don’t you have a husband to help you?
Yes, but I’m dogsitting at my parent’s house and he had to stay in denver to work. Also, he is less helpful that you might imagine, as he is Arwen’s favorite Minion, as he is the Most Emotionally Manipulatable, and has Hands. He did come up for the weekend, but the best he could do was to rub her belly and give her treats while i cleared the Larder.
2. Is this the same dog that climbs trees and gets on the roof?
She spent most of last year laid up with a torn ACL but she’s apaprently feeling MUCH better becuase she is absolutely Back On Her Bullshit. Recent chicanery includes:
Getting banned from the Dog Park for expirimentally putting Chihuahuas in her mouth, possibly to see if they are edible size.
Training the elderly people next door to feed her string cheese
her Rivalry with the local fox has escalated into a sort of Kismesitude wherin if he fails to appear at his regular time of 3 AM, she will wake me up to let her out so she can wait by the fence for him. If he shows up early, he waits in the shrubbery by the fence until she comes out.
Then they scream at each other for twenty minutes or until I wrestle her back inside. It’s like The Fox and The Hound, if the cartoon animals were absolutely commited to each other’s destruction, by thier jaws and thier jaws alone.
3.The Contents of the Slash Pile: (TW for animal death discussion)
So for the last… 15 years that my parents have lived in this house, they’ve been piling up the autum leaves and deadfall and expired christmas trees and other yard waste in the back corner ( a 20x30 ft dirt plot absoultely in the wrong place for gardening) where it can decompose in peace and make a suitable habitat for all manner of insects and small vertebretes. It’s actually really nice- we get a decent crop of toads and cecropia moths out of it every year.
For a good portion of 2019, Arwen had limited mobility and was rather foggy from tearing her ACL and the resulting pain meds. She was on bedrest for a while there, and in that time, a family of rabbits decided to dig a new warren under the branches and leaves. Unfortunately for them, Arwen started Lazer therapy and better pain medication in early December.
Judging by the Arwen-height tunnels, the torn earth and the remains of at least 12 rabbits that I found amongst the leaves and deadfall, I believe she took her newly returned vigor and put it to use digging out the warren in a series of events that probably made Watership Down seem merely unfortunate. It took three days to excavate the mess, both from the sheer amount of tunneling she’d done and the fact that it’s hard to spot bits of rabbit in the leaf litter, so I’d clear an area, then let her out and wait for her to investigate a different part of the pile so I’d know where to look next. The final total:
Remains of at least 12 rabbits. Almost certainly more- 18 not-so-lucky feet in total, but 12 left hind feet.
six tennis balls. we’ve never purchased a tennis ball for her because she eats the fuzz. we don’t know where they came from
carp skull (likely from the neighbor’s pond. He has a fondness for koi and a Heron problem)
deer foot (Probably taken by the local coyotes, who take the feet to secluded areas to chew on, and she is absolutely willing to snitch any toys they leave in the yard.)
seven formerly-stuffed animals
a goose wing (again, probably the coyotes)
A tennis racket. We don’t play tennis. None of our neighbors play. I don’t know anyone in the entire neighborhood who plays, save for the Judge’s wife on the far end of the neighborhood half a mile away. HOW?
On the Left: Arwen, Chaotic Super Genius.
On the Right: Charlie, Apprentice Asshole.
They’re both terrible and I love them SO MUCH
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