The Truth Hurts

We give honest commentary and unabashed critique directed toward the sins of the gaming world and community. Particularly those that align themselves with Nintendo or PC gaming. But all is fair game

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As all us real gamers play Grand Theft Auto V on the systems they were meant to be developed on, let us pause just a moment to observe the average Wii U owner. 

People who own Wii U's are either women, children, or old people. Deal with it.

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Captioned: "I am a loser PC gamer who sits around quite literally installing as many retarded over the top mods I can find so I can make a Triple A quality game look like some bastard hybrid 15 year old me fantasized about in 1998"

Thanks reddit user sockymomo. Interesting insight into the desires of the "Master Race." 

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is it maybe because you know nobody actually cares about your blog and you're desperately trying to get people to see your posts and anger them?

Is it because you're a retard, or did we just make you angry? Go ahead, rate your anger on a scale of 1-10 (one being the least angry).

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out of curiosity why do you tag your posts with so much unrelated stuff

Out of curiosity, why did you send us two pieces of hate mail where you answer your own question?

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The picture above comes to us courtesy of Reddit user, onloanfromgod. While the picture is intended to be a joke, the Master Race all seem to get it, by their own admissions in the comments.

Face it, PC gamers, you don't play your games. You've already admitted it to each other, now why not come clean to yourselves and to the Real Gaming Bash Blog? We already know the only games you care about.

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Unreleased Battlefield 4 Demo Shows the Game Running on Wii U

YouTube user, blake3one6 has gotten his hands on an early Battlefield 4 build running on the Wii U. As you can see from the video below, DICE wasn't fibbing when they claimed back in May that tests with Frostbite 2 running on the hardware had yielded disappointing results.

I guess the PS4 version doesn't look so bad after all, comparatively speaking. Sorry, Nintendo fans, but hey--you're getting a new Mario game next year, right? What's not to love?

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Redditor and PC gamer, F1FTYSE7EN, just bought Far Cry 3. Is he enjoying the game? Oh, no, no, no! He's busy with a PC gamer's second favorite game--the Why Won't My Game Work Game.

At least the game will look far superior to the console versions when he finally gets it running. Too bad he'll only play it for half an hour before it's back to League of Legends, though.

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Microsoft Announces New 5-5-5 Program as the Successor to Games With Gold

For the past couple of months, Xbox 360 owners who are subscribed to Xbox Live Gold have been able to download digital versions of games they bought years ago. The popular program, Games with Gold, was announced at E3 this past year, and was set to end with the release of the Xbox One. That's right--that means gamers looking forward to Microsoft's bi-weekly handouts valued at $3 were out of luck. Until this past week.

Microsoft announced early last Tuesday morning, at its non-televised Gamescom press conference, that Xbox 360 owners would be able to enjoy Microsoft's new 5-5-5 game rewards plan. During the conference, Microsoft's Phil Spencer outlined the plan:

"Starting this November, all Xbox Live Gold subscribers will be able to download free games with our new 5-5-5 Gold rewards plan. This means, you'll be able to download one free five year old game every five months with a value of $5USD. That's the kind of value you're only going to find on our platform. And I'd like to announce that this program will be making its way to the Xbox One in late 2018, the first downloadable title being Forza Motorsport 5".

Clearly gamers feel that Microsoft's Gold subscription plan still has quite a bit of ground to make up before being considered on par with Sony's Playstation Plus service, but what do you think? Will five year old games every five months entice you to hang on to your Gold subscriptions?

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This just in: Another colossal content leak courtesy of amateur software provider Sony Corporation

And there you have it folks. Another piss poor decision by Sony resulting in leaked content ahead of the release date. We get it Sony. You're a hardware company. You can't do software so well (or press conferences either for that matter). But this is just the nail in the proverbial coffin that started years ago when their network was hacked and millions of users account information was stolen. Hey Sony fanboys! Wanna know why you get so much free shit on the PSN? Because they have to appease weary investors after such massive security leaks and piss poor software and networking strategy that continues to remain unchanged.

At least you know Microsoft in all their supposed scumminess would never let something as amateur as this happen. Hey Sony execs! We at the Real Gaming Bash Blog have 1 word for you! Seppuku!

To all you Grand Theft Auto fans who can't wait til September 17th, you might not have to and you have Sony to thank for that!

Sony, Sony, Sony...

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THIS JUST IN: Sony wastes 2 hours of our time rehashing old information a Gamescom press conference; denies releasing sleeping gas above conference floor

Today after the much anticipated Sony press conference in Cologne, Germany, Many of us wondering why Sony would waste hours of our time on such a poorly delivered event. Viewers spent roughly 2 hours sitting in front of their computers with bated breath to watch square Sony employees demonstrate in far too many words why they as a company are unable to turn a profit. And while most of us sat there grinning and bearing it, eventually realizing that this amounted to a marathon Freshman business presentation rehearsal, Sony reveled at the screen time they recieved. Partially because they figured they could use the majority of the time hyping up obsolete technology; the PS3 and PS Vita. Lets face it, the only reason Sony is the beloved one in this console war is because it is the company unwilling to make risks. Giving gamers the status quo has largely paid off, a gamble that works for the aging game company.

And while all the ravenous Sony fanboys foam at the mouth over it's 8gb of GDDR RAM, few realize that the reason they didn't try something bold and daring in order to push their vision of a future gaming landscape was mostly because they are so strapped for cash due to awful business management and policies that they couldn't afford it. Microsoft will still turn enormous profits with the Xbox One because they don't care about losing money. Sony made profits of $458 million in 2012 whereas Microsoft made over $18 billion USD in Q4 alone. A company with pockets that deep can afford to push the boundaries and take risks. Risks that could even potentially pay off for the industry. It appears that they simply underestimated how conservative the hardcore gaming demographic really is. Sony appears the current victor simply by virtue of not being able to afford taking chances.

Isn't it obvious? A company that can't manage it's business just as well can't give a viewer a compelling reason to stay awake during their press conference. We at the Real Gaming Bash Blog found ourselves dozing off during today's PlayStaytion event at Gamescom. And finally at the end of the 2 hour drag we finally got what we waited for! Yay! More of the same come November 15th! Line up Sony fans! More of the same is gonna fly off the shelves fast!

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"The Street Fighter's Dilemma"

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Sony Expected to Announce Support for up to Four Controllers on PS4 at Gamescom

The Console War rages on, this time overseas, as Cologne, Germany becomes the latest battleground when Europe's biggest interactive games trade-show, Gamescom, opens next week.

Sony's Gamescom press-conference is scheduled for Tuesday, August 20th, two days before the show is opened to the public. The Real Gaming Bash Blog has learned from our sources that Sony is expected to announce the ability of its next-generation machine, the Playstation 4, to support up to four controllers for simultaneous local multiplayer. This decidedly next-gen feature is not without its drawbacks, however; our source also reveals that local multiplayer will only be available for select titles at the discretion of individual developers.

This announcement is expected to garner Sony even more popular support among gamers, whose expectations for the machine have been high since E3 earlier this year. Highlights from Sony's E3 2013 press-conference included the ability to buy, sell and play used games on Playstation 4, as well as the ability to play games without an internet connection. The future of gaming is definitely about to get exciting.

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An Exclusive Interview with THQ Media Relations member on the Saints Row 4 Presidential pack: Brought to you by the Real Gaming Bash Blog

Volition has recently confirmed that those foolish souls to pre-order Saints Row IV through EB games or GameStop will receive a free downloadable content known as the Presidential Pack. 

We at the Real Real Gaming Bash Blog have been able to confirm details for each of the masks special abilities and powers in a personal interview with THQ media relations spokesperson Neal Pabon.

What was your inspiration for including the Presidential Pack in Saints Row 4? It's our understanding that this is kind of a light hearted do whatever you want type of game? Why bring it back to reality?

Neal: Well, you're almost entirely correct in that statement! We've really tried to give the player this feeling of control over their environment. We've given them jets, mechs, superpowers, and even the position of the highest office in the land; President of the United states.

but.....

Neal: So we figured, aren't past Presidents somewhat of superheroes in the American cultural memory? I mean who could forget the story of George Washington hurling a silver dollar across the Potomac river? Or Abraham Lincoln living a double life as a vampire slayer? And our contemporary counterparts? Oh we've really jazzed them up!

How did you bring the likeness of George W. Bush and Barack Obama into Saints Row IV?

Neal: Well each mask will give you new abilities. Washington will allow you to hurl silver dollars at lightning speed at your Alien enemies. You will also get an amphibious assault level that will attempt to recreate the events of the famous Oil painting by Leutze; Washington Crossing the Delaware in our very own Steelport! Lincoln will of course wear his trademark top hat and will be accompanied by a ghost that represents his deceased son Willie Lincoln who famously passed from Typhoid fever in the now historic Lincoln room. Furthermore his special ability will be one that allows the player character to appear dead, thus eliminating all combative action occurring on screen. When the enemies walk away the player can get up and move on.

George Washington Crossing the Steelport River?!

Seems like you want to give the quintessential American gaming experience...?

Neal: Exactly! For President's Bush and Obama we've added some new abilities. President Bush will be able to start a prolonged conflict between the Saints and whichever district of Steelport he desires by sending Military bombing raids over the area and imposing martial law. You won't notice much except now whenever you decide to walk through your conquered regions you'll see lots more Humvees and Tanks. You will also be able to cut taxes on the wealthiest members of Steelport and collect more revenue to fund your occupation of whichever section of the city you like. The more you decide to cut the taxation the better equipment you'll find laying around your region of conquest. We've cleverly implemented the tax cutting as a minigame. We don't want to spoil it but suffice it to say the players will truly feel like a superhero.

What about the incumbent?

Neal: President Obamer will be able to call in remote controlled drone strikes on whichever part of Steelport he likes, as well as outside on the alien homeworld. We have also opened up the White House segment from the beginning of the game and made the situation room available. We wanted to show off the domestic spying feature that the game has implemented. Players will now be able to view heat maps of "suspected terrorist activity" overlaid with a map of Steelport and the alien home world which will allow you to more carefully plan your drone strikes. Collateral damage reports aren't there so the player will also get to face some dicey moral decisions! And lastly the player will be able to control excess deficit spending in Steelport through a clever graph minigame with the intention of upgrading his city. We're trying to make the player feel like they have ultimate power so likewise you'll find some parts of the city in complete disrepair and others thriving with posh new estates! 

Wow, so it sounds like this is almost a full DLC extension of the game.

Neal: In a way it is. We had to find a way to coerce people to spending the $60 on this game so we could recoup our development costs before the eventual Steam Summer Sale where rabid PC gamers try to buy it for $3. We feel like adding the Presidential pack will give gamers the ability to truly feel the control over their game that they as voters feel the Presidents have over their country and world as a whole! Buy our game August 29th!

And there you have it. Our exclusive interview with THQ Media Relations representative Neal Pabon. Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?

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GameStop Manager Arrested for Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor After Selling Mortal Kombat to a 12 Year Old

The manager at a Hayward, California Gamestop location has been arrested today and charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor, which is punishable in the state by up to one year of jail-time and a fine not to exceed $2,500.

The Real Gaming Bash Blog has obtained a copy of the police report from the Hayward Police Department. According to the report, GameStop store manager, Herbert Wallace, was witnessed by an undercover police officer selling a used copy of Mortal Kombat to an apparent underage male. The boy's age was later confirmed to be twelve. The boy was detained at the scene by other shoppers until backup arrived, at which point the game was confiscated and the GameStop manager was taken into custody. 

The police department claims an undercover officer was investigating the store in connection with a string of GameStop robberies where several shipments of consoles had been stolen. Police are asking for your help in solving the crime and can be reached at [phone]. Police began to suspect the robberies were connected when the stores were ransacked, but in each location only the Ouyas remained untouched.

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PC Gamer and Reddit member EmmaMightBeDrunk perfectly illustrates in a front page posting why game developers should not waste their resources developing 8 or 9 figure games for the PC. The Master race then spirals into a debate within the thread about why pirating the game early is actually justified.

Why should developers such as Volition waste money giving games to a breed of people who have no respect for the time and effort put into developing it? How can they expect to make a profit, the sole purpose of any company, if they're looking at people who want to buy it for $7 or less? Lets face it, PC Gamers only want games so they can go on reddit or tumblr and brag about just how many are in their Steam library. Look at PC Gamer darthheretic's post. The coup de grâce is essentially just stating how many games are in his Steam library. 

To Saints Row 4's benefit, it has the advantage in that it is already so silly and so over the top on it's own that PC Gaming crowd should naturally find it appealing. They're like the hipsters of the gaming world. Always needing to drop acid or and take steroids to enjoy reality and feel like they have an edge. Unable to appreciate life for what it is without performance enhancing drugs.

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Microsoft Completely Reverses Xbox One Strategy; Announces they will Offer Digital Services on Xbox-Branded Playstation 4s

Microsoft will announce big changes tomorrow for the company's Xbox brand, according to a Polygon report. The article states that multiple sources inside Microsoft claim the Kinect policy reversal this afternoon was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

One source said, "Sometime around 4PM, we're all being shuffled into the campus auditorium and people are saying Julie [Larson-Green] wants to speak with everyone. Honestly, I thought we were all losing our jobs."

A second source has confirmed that the meeting did take place earlier today. When pressed for more details, the alleged employee offered this, "basically she asked the team why it had invested billions of dollars in the Xbox brand just to create a knockoff Playstation. She said Microsoft had never been a hardware company, and she felt that digital services were more in line with the company's vision."

Shortly after 8PM (EST) this evening, Polygon updated the report after a third source came forward, claiming that a behind-closed-doors meeting had been held afterward between Julie Larson-Green, Phil Spencer and a handful of other executives. The source claims that he was able to pick up parts of the meeting when Phil Spencer accidentally activated voice chat on a prototype Kinect unit.

"She [Julie] said that she had been in talks with Kaz [Hirai] about a licensing deal that would allow us [Microsoft] to offer digital services on the Playstation 4, but that Sony had initially refused. In the end, the deal that went through allowed Microsoft to sell Sony hardware bearing the Xbox logo; I assume she thought cutting them a bigger check and scrapping our whole Xbox One project would be cheaper at this point than reversing any more of our policies."

Both Sony and Microsoft declined our request for comment on these rumors. The sources' stories do seem to corroborate each other, though, and given Microsoft's numerous policy reversals in the past months, this move does not seem entirely surprising. If it were to happen, it is certainly not unprecedented; Sears licensed Atari 2600 hardware and released their own Sears-branded Tele-Games console in the 1980s. More recently, in the mid-1990s, JVC licensed SEGA's Saturn hardware to release their own JVC-branded Saturn in Japan.

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Study Finds PC Gamers 53% More Likely than Console Gamers to Engage in Homosexual Behavior Online, 32% More Likely to Identify as Gay in Real Life

A new study published in the journal, Developmental Psychology, suggests that PC gamers are fifty-three percent more likely to engage in homosexual behavior in the digital world. Researchers at Dartmouth's Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences studied data compiled from anonymous questionnaires and found that PC gamers were more likely than their console gamer counterparts to make homosexual decisions in games that allowed them to do so.

The published study also found that PC gamers were more likely than console gamers to identify as homosexuals in real-life. Researchers reported that participants in the survey admitted to engaging in physical sexual activity with members of the same gender at a rate thirty-two percent higher than console gamers. Console gamers were five percent less likely than non-gamers to engage in physical homosexual behavior in their real-lives, however, the group was three percent more likely to exhibit homosexual behavior in the digital world. 

The researchers clarified that data involving Nintendo gamers was excluded from the survey due to the small sample size and it having appeared that Nintendo gamers who participated in the survey were too young to understand the questions.