Untitled

[rynallblog]

Okay, look. As much as I enjoy making fun of the people losing their minds over the election, I would much rather see them find their way back to reality. So for anyone who follows me who is terrified about the next 4 years, I'd love for you to do me a favor.

Write down the things you're scared will happen in the upcoming Trump presidency on a piece of paper, or type it up on a notepad and save it. Come back to it every few months, reread it, and check in on what has or hasn't happened. Let's check back in in a year or so.

If I'm right, you'll feel much better as time goes on.

If I'm wrong, you'll have an itemized list to wave in my face.

[pierog]

i'm so glad goncharov happened when it did, right before prolific public use of AI. that was pure honest gaslighting straight from the heart. real human whimsicality and trickery thru blood sweat and tears. we were a family. and we all gonched, together. you cant replicate that with any machine.

[damnfool-of-a-took]

we hunt the mighty pasta BEAST

and breadsticks are its BONES

ALFREDO FLOWS inside its veins

its organs are CALZONES

[damnfool-of-a-took]

LASAGNA plates its armored hide

and should the hero dare

you'll find the noisome Jaws are strung

with garlic angel hair

[oscillatingheatpipe]

The poem is written in common hymn meter (alternating lines of 8 and 6 syllables, usually iambs), so there are many possible tunes you can use to sing it:

Amazing Grace

Pokemon theme song

Gilligan's Island theme

House of the Rising Sun

O Little Town of Bethlehem

Joy to the World

Feel free to add any favorites!

[i-scan-your-poems]

Full scansion:

◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – we hunt the mighty pasta BEAST ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – and bread/sticks are / its BONES ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – ALFRE/DO FLOWS / inside / its veins ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – its or/gans are / CALZONES ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – LASAG/NA plates / its ar/mored hide ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – and should / the he/ro dare ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – you'll find / the noi/some Jaws / are strung ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – with gar/lic an/gel hair

metrical form: common hymn meter (iambic tetrameter + iambic trimeter, or iambic heptameter) rhyme scheme: ABCB

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

This is some Lewis Caroll-tier shit

[triplspacee]

Y’all. It’s a shanty.

Visit Original Link

[damnfool-of-a-took]

Sea Salt flavored Pasta Beast just dropped, come n gettit~

i get so hungry whenever this post starts picking up notes again RIP me

[senorspielbergo]

[siryouarebeingmocked]

https://siryouarebeingmocked.tumblr.com/post/772145121841004544/how-many-times-do-i-need-to-say-that-journalists

@yetanotherdayofdrudgery​

>but there is a lot of real estate between “woman catches fire” and “Person’s Name lights woman on fire

Yes, there is, and the latter could get them sued.

>Also, consider the context of Big Media having a long history of downplaying actual crime while screaming about innocent things that they don’t like.

All the more reason to stick to the bad things they actually do, instead of taking an acrobatic pirouette off the handle over headlines.

If anyone is reading a headline (or a tweet about a story) and drawing a conclusion from it, without reading the story, they are wrong.

Not just morally, factually.

It’s like reading a thesis statement for a paper, and acting like that’s the paper.

Also, I got blocked over this, which tells you something about boomer-mythology-destroyer. Ironically, they couldn’t take having their own mythology destroyed.

[yetanotherdayofdrudgery]

Yes, there is, and the latter could get them sued.

That’s why I mentioned the large amount of territory in between. There’s a way to say “this was caused by a person” without accusing a specific individual. Making it sound like an accident smells of a coverup.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

The headline in the original screenshot actually ended “NYPD suspects homicide”. Plenty of children would be able to infer from that.

All this outrage is based on the assumption that headlines are supposed to be the whole story.

They are not.

They never have been.

If people jump to conclusions from just headlines, that’s on those people, not the headlines.

The irony here is that a bunch of people are mad because they assume everyone else jumps to conclusions the same way they do.

[yetanotherdayofdrudgery]

Nah. We’re just so used to media BS that maybe we’re a bit uncharitable to journos.

[rynallblog]

When the security footage clearly shows a woman being set on fire, the headline should read "woman set on fire" not "woman catches fire"

[cyber-corp]

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

[cyber-corp]

i know what i’m doing dw

[cyber-corp]

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

[cyber-corp]

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

[cyber-corp]

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

[cyber-corp]

desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”

[pluto-officially]

You're failing.

[cyber-corp]

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

[communist-mannyfesto]

Pluto is Roman, not Greek

[cyber-corp]

?????

[enigma-system03]

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

[cyber-corp]

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

[cyber-corp]

HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*

[cyber-corp]

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

[legionoftuna]

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

[cyber-corp]

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

[cyber-corp]

wrong.

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Lightning Bait

You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.

[cyber-corp]

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN

[taco-bee]

I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz

For science

[cyber-corp]

OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND

HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE

ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)

POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE

HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE

APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE

KRATOS: GOD OF WAR

HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE

APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE

[boxxed-juice]

ares is the god of war, not kratos

[cyber-corp]

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

[ironwoman359]

I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore

[mysticalblue09]

It just keeps going. Hey op, would like a shovel to dig that grave a little bit faster?

[cyber-corp]

*yelling out from 12 foot hole* NO THANK YOU

[6qubed]

I'm personally offended that you didn't mention Hestia, given how many times I've mentioned her on this post alone, as well as the obvious fact that Hestia is Bestia™

[imsopopfly]

I’m absolutely DYING at the mix up between Zeus and Odin. Can you imagine those two switching places?

[cyber-corp]

MAN FUCJING WHATEVER. LIGHTNING BOYS

[noirinth]

By Zeus's Hammer, this is a trainwreck

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[crystal-mouse]

happy last same year as it was yesterday 2024 tuesday

todays the only/last day you can reblog this lol

[shiftythrifting]

[gallusrostromegalus]

For those of you that are wondering, please have one of the fiest pieces of radio comedy ever:

[jaynavajasso]

the first time i watched this i laughed so hard i nearly puked

[orwellsunderpants]

THIRD BASE

[lordkevington-deactivated-deact]

Since I was 8 and found out about this for the first time my family has always followed up on someone saying “I don’t know,” with shouting “THIRD BASE”

[j-sprrr]

[jager-bruder]

[rynallblog]

"Also, we can't threaten Derek with deportation if he doesn't want to work 90 hour weeks at half pay with no overtime"

[furiosa-femininst]

OPEN THE SCHOOLS

[furiosa-femininst]

[gsirvitor]

I remember when I was like, 13, a girl said to me, in art class, "that's not how boobs look when they aren't in a bra," and I looked her dead in her eyes, gestured at her chest, and said, "how would you know?"

She hit me, and then we started dating a week later.

[vomitdodger]

And the media will post his “good boy” pics from middle school to create the narrative.

Every time.

[twinflamedreams]

Amazing how trump leaves office and blm riots / pandemic ends, trumps coming back and they are already essentially announcing blm riots and pandemics will now return too.

I say trumps apart of this, its not what people think it is, but if that doesn’t show you clearly and remove any doubts they are orchestrating all of this I don’t know what will. They are turning it all on and off on a whim. Lives will be destroyed and people will be dying just because they feel like it.

[fivepoint-12]

Neely jr was in foster care as a child his father should be next

[riflebrass]

I saw his dad on TV earlier "It started with him asking for some food to eat and they killed him." Right, but there was a lot of stuff that happened after that that lead up to his death. Penny didn't just kill some hungry black guy who was politely asking for a bite to eat. Neely, who had a history of violent behavior, was threatening to kill people. If he hadn't been doing that he wouldn't have gone in the forever box.

I'm not completely without heart. It's tragic for a family to lose someone like that even if that family is toxic as fuck but Neely brought it on himself.

[vomitdodger]

👆humanity gives us both compassion and justice.

Another tragic example is spiraling out of control, self destructive addicts that will have that tiniest windows of mental clarity when their buzz is “just right”. They’ve got that physiological chemical fix going on but aren’t so under the influence they can’t process info or actions. They’ll realize that everything they’ve done is wrong and want help. But as soon as that minimalist buzz wear off they turn into complete lying sociopaths Jekyll and Hyde personas that will literally do anything for their next fix and everything they say is a lie. Exceedingly few people return from their fate that is practically assured at this point. Sad indeed. But not difficult to predict. And everyone around them gets destroyed in the process.

[rynallblog]

Nearly got in a fight with a good friend of mine over the assassination in NYC tonight. Man tried to tell me the assassin was a hero because the ceo might have made some poor people not afford their healthcare. Same man told me that my position that pulling your own weapon and shooting someone who had literally just robbed you at gunpoint would be inexcusable. Can't believe this shit man.

Wanted to walk him down over it but kept the peace.

[phantomrose96]

Bro I fucking hate December weather.

[phantomrose96]

"Oh? It's a low of -1? Well I'll probably want a sweater in the morning" and then you regret that so much when it's 15,259 degrees by mid-day 🙄🙄🙄

[phantomrose96]

Agh I forgot to factor in the real-feel. Okay I don't need the sweater.

[viejospellejos]

Low rider

[catgirl-kaiju]

got that todd howard type swag

[correctopinionhaver]