generic blog

I mostly just reblog stuff. i get salty sometimes | trans/aroace | he/they | adult

[unwelcome-ozian]

[limbel]

we have to thank our brave soldiers in fandom who write gen fics. we have to thank our brave soldiers in fandom who write character studies and stories with no focus on romance or sex. we have to get on our knees and thank the brave soldiers in fandom who write about minor characters and friendship and family with no focus on romance or sex. i know it’s hard to care about characters in a world that seems to only revolve around ships but i see you. and i love you

[transfemme-shelterdog]

As someone who isn't straight but is straight-passing (married to a trans man as a trans woman*), it feels a lot of the time like I don't have a place in the queer community.

The number of people I've had to witness talking to myself and others about how transhet people aren't valid, unsafe, how we're traitors to our queer peers, how we don't belong at pride, how we shouldn't have pride because "ew straights".

It's really fucking exhausting. And I'm not even straight! My husband is, and he feels the same way, so I know I'm not alone here. I've heard this from several people now. I hate it. I hate how I and others are seen as lesser just because we're attracted to, married to, or dating people of different genders than us.

You can't help that you're gay. Transhet people can't help that they're heterosexual. Why is this so fucking hard for people to understand? What the fuck do you think happens to the gays and lesbians who transition and are now straight trans women and trans men? You sure as fuck accepted them then, why not now?

And that's not even including aspec heterosexuals, but that's not my community so I won't speak on that.

I've said this a few times now, but I'll say it again: the trans community and wider queer community has a heterophobia problem.

Fix your fucking hearts. I'm tired of this shit.

[wordarttmn]

allonormativity is socially conservative

[backgroundasexual]

There is something deeply insidious about people who cannot let there be space for asexuals who don't want to have sex and feel the need to inject "but some asexuals do like sex!" into every conversation and I'm no longer going to be nice about it

[gender-incinerator]

happy pride especially to disabled queer people who can't go to pride events with the rest of their community because they're not accessible. who have to call and email organizers and beg for info. who get told that their disability or access need is too hard or espensive to accommodate. who get told "I don't know" when they ask what accommodations are in place. you deserve to be included. you deserve to have access information be as publicly and readily accessible as everything else. please never stop being annoying about demanding inclusion.

[probuccalfat]

every time a young gay person quits smoking or makes the decision that they want to quit, the sun shines on us all with the promise of happiness and beauty.

[probuccalfat]

i appreciate everybody that’s sharing the sentiment that it’s good for anyone to quit smoking (it is) but i very specifically wanted to highlight and encourage LGBTQ youth because lesbian, gay, and bisexual people are about 1.5 to 2.5 times more likely to smoke cigarettes than heterosexual people, and the statistics for transgender people are even higher than cisgender people. this is due to tobacco companies marketing heavily and aggressively to LGBTQ communities and exploiting the higher rates of mental health struggles prevalent in our communities.

i want and hope to see all my LGTBQ people live long, healthy, fulfilled lives despite how predatory and punishing this world can be. you should stay around as long as you can to make it a little better in your own way.

[this-is-trans-joy]

I wanna specifically shoutout trans men here because back in the day (I don’t know if it’s still prevalent) there was quite a common rumour going around that smoking could make your voice deeper, which meant a huge upstick in young trans men taking up smoking.

So, if any trans men are being told about this, it’s not true!! Smoking will not change your voice, at least not until you’re about forty years down the line and you’ve already irreparably destroyed your lungs and throat and mouth and pretty much every other organ in your body. When you hear heavy smokers with deeper, scratchier voices it is literally because their vocal cords have been ruined. This is not a passive effect of smoking, it is a very very damaging one!

It’s simply not worth it! There will be no meaningful changes except terrible ones. Voice training will do a lot more for you than cigarettes will, I promise that the people urging you to start smoking as a voice training method do not have your best interests at heart!

(And you know what, this also goes for not eating due to the idea that starving yourself will decrease your chest size. Like with smoking, there will be no meaningful changes except terrible ones. Your body is worth so much more than that and there will always be healthier alternatives!)

I wanna see trans people thrive, and one day when things get better and you’re able to start your transition, you’ll want a body that will last as long as possible so you can enjoy every little moment of your life. Please take care of yourself!!

[ob-2-kenobi]

As for trans women and other trans people taking estrogen HRT, smoking has been proven to reduce or even cancel out the effects of estrogen on the body. If you quit smoking, your transition will be faster, fuller, and smoother. I know that it's hard, but your boobs will thank you!

(Btw, afaik smoking only has this effect on estrogen from HRT. Estrogen that AFAB bodies produce naturally is not affected, so smoking is still bad for trans men)

In addition (and this applies to all trans people), smoking increases risks of complications during surgery, so doctors might refuse to let you get whatever surgeries you want if you smoke. They'll at least tell you to quit for a while beforehand, which will be easier to do if you'd already quit to begin with.

[peach-pot]

being anti-amatonormativity in a romance centered world is like watching half the people who you know put all their eggs in one basket and then drop the basket and all their eggs break and they’re crying and swearing they’re never gonna do that again and then a month later they have all new eggs in a new basket and they tell you the problem was they didn’t have a strong enough basket or fresh enough eggs and then they drop the fucking basket again.

[mrsmummifikation]

This time of year can be frustrating for people in the aro/ace community.

I will be here, whenever you need to talk. 

transcription under the cut:

Keep reading

[aroaceenjolras]

"sex positivity includes asexuals" does it? does it include asexuals? because from my point of view it's more like some little mermaid shit where we're nominally "included" as long as we give up our ability to speak about issues that affect us. sex positivity does not include asexuals, it expropriates us.

[janedoodlee]

I’m tired of having to add a disclaimer to everything I say. I can’t say how much I hate sex and sexual things without interrupting every. Other. Sentence. With “but it’s ok to like that stuff if you want to!!”

Like, let’s use our reading comprehension skills for a second here. If tumblr user, I dunno, gary123, makes a post complaining about how difficult it is to avoid sexual things online, and how it makes them very mad that no one takes the time to add just one simple tag that they can filter and that they just personally find sex disgusting, is Gary saying that they think all sex is evil and those who have and enjoy it are evil, or are they saying that they personally don’t want to engage in sexual media and are tired of said media being shoved in their face?

And let’s say that Gary posts this in the asexual tag. Are they saying that it’s impossible to like sex if you’re asexual, or are they describing their personal experience?

It’s like the “I like waffles” “oh, so you hate pancakes???” meme, but more like

Person a: I hate pancakes.

Person b: oh, so you think everyone who eats pancakes is evil???

Or, alternatively:

Person a: I hate pancakes.

Person b: oh, so you think you can’t eat pancakes if you don’t feel a strong feeling that you want to eat pancakes????

I JUST WANT TO HATE SEX STUFF IN PEACE!!!!

[mollymerula]

we need to normalize a tradition where nonpartnering aros are like "hey, i'm officially never getting married, please come to this party and give me whatever kitchenware you would have bought me for a wedding"

[plum-petunia]

So @tidal-rose-the-space-dragon turned off reblogs to this post because she didn't want all the notifications but it's so good I got her permission to screenshot it here (also thank you for that again!).

[plum-petunia]

If anyone was wondering (no one was) I am against marriage actually

Amatonormativity in the Law: An Introduction

Silver Flight discusses how amatonormativity privileges particular romantic relationships, and the legal implications tied to government-rec

[teaboot]

Can I be honest with yall I don't want to hear SHIT against cishets at pride this year

[teaboot]

"But it's not FOR them!!!" The biggest military power in the world belongs to a christofascist nation overseen by a felon found guilty of 34 federal crimes and has greenlit a gestapo with more direct funding than the entire military of Canada for the purpose of ethnic cleansing. Let Hetero Jessica throw some biodegradable glitter at a municipal parade

[teaboot]

At this point if anyone is trying to exclude anyone benignly pro-queer from a pro-queer space I'm just going to assume you're a fed or something idk like something something destabilize the movement from within or whatever

[busket]

I think a lot of yall will hear a trans person talking about a legitimate experience and respond like "uhh isnt that a terf talking point 🤨" without having the critical thought to know WHY its harmful when terfs talk about it.

like I just saw a transmasc who drew a short comic about reading BL as a teenager and thinking "wow I wish I was a gay man too" and growing up to be a trans man. and a reply said "isnt this a terf talking point"

no. its not. the terf talking point is that straight girls pretend to be gay men to fetishize them as a form of autoandrophilia. or that exposure to gay male relationships or trans men will groom little girls into wanting to be gay men. that is an extremely harmful view because it deligitimizes a trans man's existence. but plenty of trans men DO grow up reading MLM/gay media and BL and do grow attached to it, because they are seeing themselves. even before you know who you are, you will be drawn to who you want to be. transfem lesbians also become attached to WLW media before transition and are also treated like creeps and fetishists. but they are just young gay kids seeing their true selves reflected back at them. terfs see these kinds of common phenomena that happen all the time in the trans community and try to explain it away with bigotry and hateful stories. and then they talk about it so fucking much that it confuses people and before you know it you got trans people sharing their real lives and being accused of spreading terf talking points from people who never think about anything.

[busket]

ive also seen people use "male/female socialization", another bogus terf theory, to discredit trans people's experiences. "male/female socialization" is the terf belief that boys and girls are raised so drastically different that no one can overcome their childhood as adults. they use this flawed logic to say that trans women are all inherently entitled and misogynistic because they were "socialized" as boys and that trans men are naive and desperate to please because they were "socialized" as girls (the idea being that trans men are so naive to be "groomed" into being men by other trans people, and that their identities are not real)

yet ive seen trans men talking about how the misogyny that we face as young afab people before transition is extremely difficult to overcome and it colors everything you do in your life, even when living as a man. and people roll their eyes and say "this theyfab believes in female socialization so he must be a terf!!" that's not "female socialization" thats trauma from living in a patriarchal society, and trans women experience it, too. afab people are ALSO "socialized" to be misogynistic, that too, is an aspect of a patriarchal society! boys and girls arent socialized to be very different, we are ALL "socialized" to see cis white heteronormativity and conformity as the golden standard and everyone who doesnt fit that mold (aka EVERY trans person) will experience harmful and traumatic consequences from it at many points in our lives.

[jazzyloveswomen]

Perisex trans people you have to actually listen to intersex people and not just occasionally remember we exist when it's time to use us as a talking point. This means you need to accept that our relationships with things like agab and sig will be fundamentally different from perisex people's. This means you need to accept that we will not fit neatly into any model in which you separate people or make assumptions on lived experiences or needs based on agab.