Everyone has that one story about the time EVERYONE called in sick and they had to work a shift totally alone. Mine was a little different, though.
See, I work at Evil-Mart. It’s actually a really good job – benefits are top notch, pay is excellent, and management really cares about the wellbeing of employees. For good reason – most of us are, if not family, certainly part of the Family. All the staff are from the families of henchmen and minor villains. It’s easier for everyone that way.
Unfortunately, while the official ‘bad guys’ excel in many areas, catering isn’t one of them. I don’t know why, but it’s just not something we’re good at. Anyway, there was a big team dinner for Evil-Mart one night, to celebrate the store’s tenth anniversary. And the next day, nearly the whole staff were out with food poisoning. And by nearly the whole staff, I mean … well, it went like this.
I was on the opening shift, and usually when I get there, there’s already two supervisors there. This time… nothing. The door was still locked. I knocked a few times, then called the front desk. Still nothing.
The third time I called, a voice answered that I didn’t recognize. “Who is this?”
She sounded like she was about to cry. “Are you calling in sick too?”
“No, but the door’s locked and I can’t get in.”
“You’re here? At the store?”
“Yes, and I only have two minutes or I’ll be late clocking in and – “
“Wait right there! I’ll be right down!” The phone slammed down, and a couple of minutes the door swung open. “Thank God!” the woman exclaimed. I vaguely recognised her from meetings, but we’d never spoken before, but now she grabbed my hands and squeezed them as if I was a long lost friend. “Did you have a special meal last night?”
At that point, light began to dawn. “Yes. Knuckles Levy from the warehouse and I both had the kosher meal.”
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