Okay, this is actually funny
$LAYYYTER
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DEAR READER
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@stuffthatdelightsme
Okay, this is actually funny
A canon autistic character, so much explicit gay sex, a trans male actor, early 2000s bangers, technically stunning shots and montages, yearning so good you’d think you were reading your mother’s Mills and Boon from the 80s. It’s about hockey and there’s barely any hockey.
This might be my favourite show of the last five years
Oh, for the 5 facts prompts, Buck and Tommy meet through Ravi at frisbee golf!
I want you to know I had to look up what frisbee golf was and then I went and made up a bunch of things about it anyway. Also it got away from me and went in a more, hm, poetical direction.
--
1. Covid had shrunk his life down to the essentials: work, grocery store, socially distance runs, home, video calls. Even with the vaccine roll out, Buck was being cautious.; the last thing he wanted to do was catch Covid and put Maddie and his soon to be born niece at risk. He was lonely and restless—Albert was great company when he was there, but he was grabbing as many deliveries as possible as he needed the money—which was why he didn’t laugh when Ravi said, “I have a weekly frisbee golf game with friends. You doing anything on Sunday?”
“Uh, not to sound ungrateful,” Buck said, resisting the urge to look behind him to see who Ravi was actually talking to, “but why are you inviting me? You pretend not to know us outside of work.”
With the mask covering his face, Ravi’s eyebrows were putting in overtime in the judgmental department. “It’s called having a work-life balance and actual boundaries. You should try it.”
“You’re still a probie,” Buck reminded him.
Ravi had a trick of conveying an eye roll without actually rolling his eyes. It was as impressive as it was deeply irritating. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
“But why me?” Buck asked, refusing to take that bait. “I didn’t think you liked me.”
“I’m going to be honest,” Ravi said like he wasn’t that all of the time. “It seems like the pandemic has maybe sent you spiraling into madness.” He held up a hand when Buck went to protest. “You chased me with a saw last week.”
“Uh, I was trying to find you so I could demonstrate how to properly use and store the saw.”
“And the best way to do that was by pretending to be Michael Myers?” Ravi pulled out his phone. “I’m sending you the time and place. “Be there.”
His phone vibrated. “I appreciate this, but I don’t want to be your weird coworker who got a pity invite.” And, Buck added silently, he didn’t want to be the weird older guy pretending to be the same age as a bunch of twenty-somethings.
“You are my weird coworker,” Ravi said without a shred of pity, “but I’m inviting another weird coworker so you’ll have someone to be weird with.”
“Thanks?” Buck said. “Wait, what other coworker? Is it Eddie? Did you invite Eddie? Ravi!”
today’s date is the 3rd? what’s next, the 4th? the 5th? the minor fall, the major lift?
hear me out: a lotr game but you play as the ring, throwing yourself wantonly into the path of unsuspecting folk and slowly corrupting their minds as the game progresses
it’s a lovely morning in middle earth, and you are a horrible ring.
*lying in the bottom of river*
press Y to glitter seductively
There's people for whom "we're leaving in the morning" means "we ride at dawn motherfuckers, you can finish waking up and getting dressed in the car, we'll grab breakfast somewhere along the way", and there's people for whom it means "we'll get going somewhere before noon".
And then they get married.
REBLOG if you are old enough to remember what a VCR is.
i love having the hubris to go 'sure i'll try that, how hard can it be' about every creative skill under the sun. jack of all trades master of shit fuck but who says you have to be a master??? maybe i want to sew a mediocre plushie and code a janky mod and write a bland song. im having fun. im in my lane. im learning and im thriving.
fog haters are weak. you are walking in a cloud and it's making everything look like a moody detective film! the veil is thin and there could be a faerie 20 metres directly ahead of you! appreciate it!!
Once upon a time when I was driving along Route 81 through the narrow hills of Pennsylvania, between college and home, in my old 1970 Monte Carlo, a fog descended which was so dense that I could barely see ten feet in front of my car. I was broke, and there weren't many places to pull off the road anyway, so all I could do was press on, barely above an idle, the aged yellow headlights completely ineffectual, while my car growled and shook like the nervous beast it was.
it's midnight on the 1st of june aest
posting this again cause now its actually true
Happy Pride!
Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions
I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.
Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:
“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”
“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”
Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”
“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”
“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”
“WHY QUESTION???”
To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.
“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”
“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”
“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”
“WHY QUESTION?????”
Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.
Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.
When my mother forgets a word, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: “You know the time for los jibbities is coming up. You must be so excited!” Oh, is it time for los jibbities already? I must have missed it on my calendar. Are we celebrating something? “Of course! We should all be celebrating, shouldn’t we?” OK, so los jibbities is a happy thing. It’s not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess. “Los heebie-jeebies? Now you’re making things up...and this is my show.” You’re right. The time for los jibbities is coming up. Is this a season? “Yes, the season for love. The season for pride.” OK, los jibbities. “Yeah, sound it out.” Los…jibbities. LGBTs! “Sí, mira cuz you’re gay!” “You couldn’t just say pride season? You couldn’t just… *laughs*
HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!
The time for Los Jibbities has arrived!
kill the shift manager in your brain
you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you'll relax
Innes Keeper's Formula For Fantastic Grilled Cheeses (for nearly no extra spoons!)
Are you hungry? Do you have a hankering for grilled cheese sandwiches like, way more than a normal person maybe? Great news! I am about to give you the secret knowledge I stole, like Prometheus himself, from the Akashic Records—to bring back to Prudencia! And I’m even doing it without a ten hour long lecture about how the Akashic Records makes me think of idfk, 9/11, and how that relates to sandwiches.
I will, however, briefly say this: You gotta trust me when I say cooking grilled cheeses via this formula WILL grant you Bloodborne Insight. There is no fucking reason that making a grilled cheese this fucking delicious should be this fucking easy. I feel like I’m cheating God every time I do it because it takes (nearly) no extra spoons. And here’s where I show you why.
Scientifically Proven Perfect Extremely Easy Grilled Cheese
INGREDIENTS — SEASONINGS -butter, i usually use 2 or 3 tablespoons per sandwich -garlic cloves, I use 3 usually -a source of heat, like red pepper flakes, or szechuan peppers -a source of spice OR a source of sweetness, such as dijon mustard or honey. slather that motherfucker on a slice of your bread. -a source of herbiness, such as oregano, thyme, sage, rosemary, etc in any combination that goes well together or on its own. if someone tries to tell you that you need it fresh, they’re fucking lying, the 2$ crushed powdered sage is fucking great. experiment with other spices such as ground turmeric if you're spicy
INGREDIENTS - THE METAPHORICAL MEAT OF THE SANDWICH -two slices of bread per sandwich. this is actually a massive influence on your sandwich taste and texture as a whole. a basic white or wheat will still be fucking delicious because like I said, I stole this from the Akashic Records cookbook section and found it under “fucking perfect grilled cheeses forever”. However, if you CAN—getting bread like brioche, texas toast, brown bread, rye, or sourdough will make a sandwich already being elevated super easily to “pay 23 dollars at a fancy restaurant” level of elevation.
-one to three types of cheese per sandwich. you can get away with one type but really try for two or three if you can swing it. this is also one of those massive influences over the sandwich—listen, i know, that’s obvious, but stay with me—what matters isn’t the SPECIES of cheese, it’s the TYPE of cheese. getting the deli at your local Safeway or Walmart or whatever and asking for the cheese they gotta cut (or just in general the fancier, better-quality cheeses) is literally the only major requirement that I ask of you. If you are on SNAP/EBT programs, me too, and I promise you: Please do this. Please trust me when I say do not get the cheap Kraft-type cheese because it’s less money. I know it’s a bit extra but it’s only a bit to get like 1/4 or 1/3lb and you have no idea how much I’m actually getting a little emotional about this, because the “rice with butter and beans or top ramen every single day” life is soulsucking and sickening and it is genuinely one of the greatest sources of suffering to human beings I can imagine, I’m serious. Following this formula will genuinely change your life/mental health just a bit because you know that you have one meal that is super delicious, super filling, pretty damn cheap when it comes to how much you get, and super easy to make on days where the idea of doing more than just 15 minutes MAX is gonna make you wanna die.
super sorry for that paragraph btw i just really cannot overstate how this is a lifechanger especially when youre poor/low spoons/depressed. delicious food makes me not be as depressed. this is that.
METHOD
Take garlic cloves and crush them either with the meat of your palm or the flat of a knife or literally anything that would crush good. Take bread slices and put a source of spice or sweetness if you are using one. take a pan and put it on the stove on low-medium heat (aka a 2 out of 10).
Place the butter in the pan, as well as the garlic cloves, the source of heat, and the source of herbiness. Congratulations you have now literally done ALL the extra effort that you need to make a grilled cheese like this. That’s it. No extra dishes. No fussing with amounts or chopping or whatever. That’s it.
The butter will melt in the pan and soak up the delicious ingredients that you also put into the pan. Take each slice of bread and place it in the pan to butter it, OR just take one slice, place the cheese on it, and then put the other bread on. It’s really just a matter of extra effort.
When the bread is in the pan, turn it up to medium heat (5 out of 10) and just sorta let it sit for a bit. When you can see the cheese start to get visibly melty—or when you vibecheck it—flip it once and just do the same thing.
When you’ve grilled your cheese on both sides, take it out of the pan and put it on a plate (or just a paper towel to save on dish spoons. btw paper plates and plastic utensils are a fucking godsend if you hate dishes and/or can’t do them very easily/takes a lot of effort.)
That’s literally it. I really hope this helps.
outta my way gayboy im making this sandwich
oh. oh my god. holy fuck. what. how. why. this is delicious. i kinda burned my bread and my cheese didnt melt all the way but it's still the best thing ive ever tasted?????
oh my god. this is so fucking good. the butter melting and absorbing the spices and herbs already smelled amazing, but then i threw the bread on and it started smelling EVEN BETTER. then i took a bite. holy FUCK this is better than sex. i legitimately believe that Innes Keeper stole this shit from Prometheus, there's no other way to explain why this is so easy to make, yet so FUCKING good, other than cheating a god.
I didn't steal it from Prometheus he's my trophy husband!
ok me and my partner went back and made this. exact words upon eating were “we’ve cheated god” and “i feel like my world just got rocked” and then we were both energized to get back to drawing. proof:
please make innes keeper’s scientifically proven perfect extremely easy grilled cheese
I'M PUTTING THIS ON THE FRIDGE (WHERE I KEEP ALL MY CHEESE)
Fuck it I'm gonna make the infamous inneskeeper grilled cheese, I'm suspicious of the honey part working but fuck it let's see what happens
i want this sandwich to impregnate me
I want to fuck Uncle Iroh so bad man. It would be so good. It would be SO GOOD. he's got heated hands. He can BREATHE FIRE. Fucker has lung control like fuckin woah. He's experimental. He's been around the world and picked up shit from all over the place. He likes to have fun. And he's obviously still fit and interested enough like. IT WOULD BE W I L D and would probably ruin sex for a while and
I want
To fuck Uncle iroh
Oh?? Oh you thought you escaped this?? Oh you scrolled past and were done with it?? NO I need it to be SEEN this is a critically under-discussed aspect of his character and I WILL put it out there. Forcefully, if need be
I'm smiling at you like the Grinch. I'm whispering to you sweet nothings about getting dicked down by the Dragon of the West
AND HE'S MAKE YOU TEA AFTER!!!! BANGIN TEA!!!! AWARD-WINNING BEST-IN-THE-COUNTRY TEA!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THERE TO LOSE. NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AND EVERYTHING TO FUCKIN GAIN
YEAH!!!! YEAH YOU GET IT!!!!! YOU GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!
A few days ago this had 70 notes
pride month!!!
Is that a miette?
Pride for you! Pride for a thousand years!!
you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!
Thanks
Official silly sign