Feb 7, 2019
Tony: Doesn’t matter. Prom is silly anyways.
Sam: You probably went with the captain of the football team.
Tony: No. I just made out with him a little while his date was puking.
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Tony: Doesn’t matter. Prom is silly anyways.
Sam: You probably went with the captain of the football team.
Tony: No. I just made out with him a little while his date was puking.
Tony: How do you feel? Bucky: I don't feel any different. Do I look any different? Sam: You still look like an ass to me.
Doctor: How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week? Tony: One. Doctor: That's it? Just one drink? Tony: One shelf. Doctor: Do you exercise? Tony: Yes. Lovemaking. Doctor: Allergies? Tony: Cowardice and weak-willed men. And hazelnuts. Doctor: Sexual history? Tony: Epic and private.
Tony: So, did you bring Bucky? Steve: Uh, no, but I brought the next best thing. [Sam walks in] Tony: Sam. You brought Sam. The next best thing would be Natasha. Sam: Normally, I would be offended, but Natasha is freakishly strong.
Steve: Tony Stark... How do I begin to explain Tony Stark? Peter: Tony Stark is flawless. Wanda: I hear his goatee is insured for $10,000. Sam: I hear he does car commercials... in Japan. Natasha: His favorite movie is The Empire Strikes Back. Clint: One time he met T’Challa at a banquet... Scott: And T’Challa told him he was pretty. Bucky: One time he punched me in the face... it was awesome.
Bucky: I have a crush on Tony. Clint: Don't worry, we've all been there.
Tony: [Bucky run away after Tony greeted him] I don’t get it? What did I do? Sam: I’ll tell you what you did. You anthropomorphized him. Tony: What? Sam: It means treating something as human when it’s really not. Kinda like what you do with your cat, which, frankly, makes more sense.
Tony: I hate having sex at the Avengers HQ. I’ve got a listening roommate.
Steve: Oh no, I hate those. Do you have to be really quiet for him?
Tony: No, I have to be really loud. We’re very competitive.