Jul 25
Jason: hey guys have you ever stopped to question why we are even alive?
Tim: oh yeah
Damian: all the time
Dick: I personally like to question the "how"
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Jason: hey guys have you ever stopped to question why we are even alive?
Tim: oh yeah
Damian: all the time
Dick: I personally like to question the "how"
Tim: [on laptop] you guys, you won't believe what I found
Steph: [pokes her head around the corner] oooh what is it?
Tim: you know how Nightwing was named handsomest/sexist vigilante of the year
Dick: I live to impress
Jason: blegh
Tim: right... Anyways there's another poll. For handsomest/sexist vigilante, silver fox edition
Duke: please tell me it's what I think it is
Tim: yes. Batman won. By a HIGH margin
Steph: [snort] How. He most is face is covered behind that cowl
Tim: [Scrolls down] I don't know but there are comments under the results oh...oh. yeah I don't think you want to know
Duke: okay you can't just do that and not say anything
Dick: yeah show us. What did you see?
Tim: really guys you don't want to see-
Jason: [takes laptop and places it on his lap] Got it
Everyone: [looking over Jason's shoulder]
Tim: really guys nobody needs to read that. Oh god the comments. Horrible, I need to bleach my eyes
Jason: Eh can't be that bad- oh
Dick: [covers Damian's eyes] How is that public? There are children online!
Cass: Dad can not find out about this
Damian: unhand me Grayson, I am not a child
Jason: I think I want to die again
Steph: [leans over to read] "I get that he's supposed to be all mysterious and scary but I know if I could just peg him I'll have him-"
Tim: Steph stop it. Oh god. My ears
Jason: that's not even the worst one. That's actually pretty tame compared to... [Covers screen] nope absolutely no
Steph: oooh what does it say?
Jason: not anything safe for anyone below 21 that's what it says
Duke: you can't be serious
Dick: Is it really that bad?
Jason: [lifts up laptop to let Dick read]
Dick: ...
Dick: [deadpanned] I should have been on that trapeze with my parents
Jason: [snorts] yeah and I should have stayed dead. Wouldn't have to read this shit
Dick: [holding back laughter of shock] I don't- it's just so explicit- I don't even think that's possible. Like limps and flexibility considered i- what the fuck man
Cass: now I'm more curious
Jason: nope. Trust me. I'm saving you all from trauma
Tim: i think it's a little too late for that
Jason: it's still a nope
Steph: Found it! [Waves her phone at the others]
Duke: Read it for the class
Steph: [clear throats]
Bruce: what is going on here?
Everyone: Nothing!
Bruce: what's that in your hand-
Steph: *throws phone across the room*
Bruce: ...
Bruce: [sighs] you know what? I don't even wanna know. Just get to dinner everyone. Alfred's waiting
Kid Tim: I'm not talking until I have a lawyer
Principle: …This isn’t a legal matter nor are you under arrest
Kid Tim: Lawyer, now. You won't break me
im legitimately in love with the briefly visible young justice design for league of assassins member jason todd; like it's my favourite reference for any of his league outfits ever and i will always use it as a mental reference when thinking about him during his league days. HOWEVER one thing that's really important to me is his goggles. because it is very clear that they were just designed by the animators to Look Cool with no other functional logic and i find that so fucking fun
like. why. why does he have three little dots on one side and one big one on the other. why is he an iphone. what technical reason within the universe was there that meant this was the best possible design.
personally, i like to think jason was allowed to make this outfit himself as an art project. he was cuttin' up old red hoodies across the table from where damian was colouring in his notebook with markers. when he got to the eye mask he was like 'shit, what would make me look intimidating?' and the only thing he could see in the room that was even remotely eye-mask-shaped was the old xbox controller tossed on the other side of the room by the tv. when ra's saw him he just sighed and looked at the ground while talia laid a hand on his arm and told him 'relax, father, he must be allowed to express himself however he wants'.
Dick: you're late
Jason: my bad. I got kidnapped
Dick: what masochist kidnapped you?
Jason: the police
Dick: ...you were fucking arrested?
The BatFam as Stuff My Family Has Said, Part 2
Bruce: “Why did you think that was a good idea?”
Dick: “Sometimes I see chickens and I feel bad, but then I eat chicken and I just feel so good.”
Jason: “That’s what they make drugs for. I don’t need therapy.”
Tim: “Three pounds of caffeine? I’m gonna be awake for weeks!”
Damian: “Speaking of pain and misery, please stop singing.”
Cass: “The only America I can swear loyalty to starred in ‘Barbie.’”
Steph: “Dare me to lick it?”
Duke: *Relieved sigh* “The basement chicken is still there.”
Alfred: “That’s an opinion, but I’m right.”
Batfam as quotes from my life (with little to no context) pt 12
Alfred: “You almost killed me three ways just by being yourself.”
Dick: “You are a living breathing challenge!”
Dick: “You’ve raised a star.”
Bruce: “It’s the only kind I raise!”
Dick: “I’m the brightest.”
Steph: “Okay, Whatever, I don’t care, I hope you eat all my spit-I spat in there you know”
Tim: “I’ve learned to shut my mouth recently and I’d like to spread my wisdom with others.”
Dick: “Thanks for giving me a call.”
Jason: “You called me.”
Damien: “I have a question. How can you be ugly and have pretty people humor?”
Tim: “REMEBER how I said you were either all or nothing? That was a whole lotta nothing”
Reasons batfam members never publicly share their location:
Bruce: as a billionaire there’s bound to be bad consequences to sharing my location, and as a father *blank stare*
Dick: If I’m out alone, I don’t wanna see anyone
Jason: *gestures incredulously to dead & crime lord status* and I don’t trust any of these bitches
Tim: as an ex-stalker I know how my whereabouts about can and will be exploited. *literally found and blew up every address of an old man’s once*
Steph: If someone wanna meet me they gotta work for it
Cass: I did tell them where I’m going *she changed her mind half way and went somewhere else*
Damian: my comings and goings are between me, god and Alfred.
Duke: *peaces fade away gif*