Discover Top Posts Tagged with #incorrect batkids

Jason: *drumming fingers seriously as he stares at the batcomputer security cam*

Steph: *from the couch, where she’s eating chips* any change yet??

Jason: *slightly horrified* no. Not one.

Dick: what . . . are you doing?

Steph: three days ago we switched out Tim’s coffee with decaf

Jason: we thought he might get some sleep for once

Steph: but it’s like he ain’t even noticed.

Jason: *throwing hands up in frsutration* it’s two fucking am and he’s still studying in the kitchen. He doesn’t even LIKE studying

Dick:

Dick: I hate to say it, but—

Jason: *horrified* no

Steph: absolutely not

Dick: —have you considered that it was . . . never the caffeine?

Jason: *stares blankly at camera, which shows Tim finishing a stack of paperwork, calmly taking a sip of coffee, and grabbing another stack* are we sure he’s not a meta. Did we have him tested. How confident are we

Dick:

Steph: OH MY GOD DID YOU NEVER HAVE HIM TESTED??

Dick: you're late

Jason: my bad. I got kidnapped

Dick: what masochist kidnapped you?

Jason: the police

Dick: ...you were fucking arrested?

#dick grayson #jason todd #jason todd and dick grayson #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batkids #incorrect batboys quotes #incorrect batbros #incorrect jason todd #incorrect dick grayson #dick grayson and jason todd #incorrect dcu #incorrect dc #incorrect quotes #nightwing #nightwing and red hood #red hood #redhood #incorrect big wing and little wing #big wing and little wing

Dick, just remembering something: Oh, I have a sailing license!

Steph: Is this some sort of rich person thing, why’d you get a sailing license?

Dick: I needed to defeat a rogue and we could only reach him by boat

Tim: Was Killer Croc in the marina or something??

Dick: Actually it was Aquatic Joker

Jason, already loading a harpoon: What the FUCK is Aquatic Joker

Jason indoctrinates Damian

Tim: Hey Dami? Damian: Ya? Tim: When you first came to the Manor, why did you speak like that? Damian: Hello, why are we being racist? Tim: NO I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR ACCENT- Damian: uh huh and what are you talking about? Tim: The fact that you speak straight out of an SAT vocab quizlet Jason walks in and immediately turns around. Both Tim and Damian spot him Damian: Todd, care to join the discussion? Jason: I'm good thank you I just gotta analyze the DNA of the um coffee, k bye- Damian: JASON GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE Damian: IT'S BECAUSE OF HIM Damian: YOU FEAR MONGERED ME ABOUT THE SAT FROM THE RIPE AGE OF 7 Damian: I HATE YOU Damian: I HATE YOU SO MUCH Jason: As your designated English tutor, I felt as if it was necessary for your future success Damian: YOU READ MARY SHELLEY SO MANY TIMES I ACTUALLY HAVE IT STUCK IN MY BRAIN Jason: WELL THERE WEREN'T ANY NURSERY RHYMES IN THE LEAGUE AND well mumbling Frankenstein was really personal to me Tim: on the floor laughing WAIT SO JASON BASICALLY CONDITIONED YOU TO HAVE A CLASSIC LIT PARLANCE Jason: indignant LIES AND SLANDER. IT'S NOT MY FAULT HE DIDN'T PICK UP ON CASUAL ENGLISH IT'S NOT LIKE I SPOKE FORMALLY 24/7 Damian: YOU BARELY SPOKE AT ALL YOU HAD A SELECTIVE MUTISM Jason: HEY, I BETTER SEE YOU GET AN 800 ON THE READING & WRITING SECTION ON THE SAT THOUGH Tim: SO IT'S FOR THE BEST? Damian: YOU JUST REFUSED TO TELL ME IT WASN'T NORMAL I THOUGHT EVERYONE IN NEW JERSEY SPOKE LIKE THAT Tim: genuinely choking on his laughter NEW JERS- NEW JERSEY??????? LIKE THAT????????? PFFFFFFF

Tim: I was so confused when you first showed up, I thought you were possessed by an Oxford Lit professor or something. That or you really wanted to get that 1600 on the SAT Damian: You literally aren't even that far off Damian: First Jason basically is an Oxford Lit professor, just with guns and insecurity Damian: And second, he told me that College Board created the SAT to rank people based on intelligence and that the dumb ones get outcasted from society and of course my brain was like ah I need to ace this test to prove my worth Damian: HE TOLD ME TO SPEAK LIKE THAT TO 'PRACTICE MY VOCAB' Damian: I LITERALLY USED A QUIZLET TO MEMORIZE THIS Tim: JASON YOU WERE LITERALLY PROJECTING Jason: WELL IT'S NOT LIKE I COULD TAKE THE SAT SO INSTEAD I WAS LIKE I CAN DO IT VICARIOUSLY THROUGH DAMI

Jason: You should be grateful I didn't make you use archaic language like 'thee', 'dost' and 'hath' Damian: WELL ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? Jason: No, I'm euphoric

Dick: i remember when i was a kid, and Bruce had just taken me in while trying to track down the guy who killed my parents.

Dick: he knew i needed the closure of bringing him to justice so he had to train me up pretty quick.

Jason: yeah you were allowed out almost immediately, but when he took me in i had to go through like, a massive training course until i was even allowed out on patrol. even longer until i was allowed to actively engage with criminals.

Dick: yeah he was wary with you; to be fair i got punched a LOT in those early days

Jason: a lot of damage to the head would make sense for you, honestly

Dick: oi-

Tim: i mean i did have training, but it was kinda moot because i was active as Robin throughout the whole thing anyway. i just showed up completely unprepared and wouldn’t leave B alone.

Jason: it is interesting how different all our experiences were with Bruce’s training.

Dick: *hums*

Tim: yeah

Damian:

Damian: i came pre-assembled.

the others:

Damian:

Damian: well i did-

Tim: like an ikea flat-pack.

Damian: like a what now

-later-

Bruce, eating lunch: what is this