Oct 30, 2025
they make me SICKKKK (in a happy way)
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they make me SICKKKK (in a happy way)
I think it would be so funny if a reporter accidently overhears one of the waynes insult batman under their breath, and like everyone is just flabbergasted till they realise that these are the Wayne's. Of course they know (and have beef) with batman.
--
Tim, in a interview, trying to explain Wayne stocks or sum idk: well, yk Wayne industries wouldn't have to pay for so many building repairs if fucking batman stopped throwing bane into buildings-
Interviewer: what was that, Mr drake?
Tim: what was what?
Interviewer: right. What do you think Mr Wayne?
Bruce: ...
Bruce: fuck batman.
--
Dick, being bombarded with paperazzi after a kidnapping: oh ffs couldn't batman save me from these snakes too.
Dick: I'm gonna fucking kill him.
Reporters: ???
--
Kid recording a tiktok: hey! Mr Todd! What do you say about the rumors that the Wayne's hate batman?
Jason: huh?
Kid recording, shoving the phone closer to jason: thoughts on batman?
Jason, leaning into to the mic: fuck batman.
--
Someone recording with shaky hands: *Duke Thomas walking out of a private gym, clearly having worked out and looking exhausted*
Duke: fuckass batman, I'm gonna beat his ass.
--
Street kid #2: hey batman! Have you heard what the Wayne's are saying these days?
Batman: *batman noise*
Street kid: do u have a message for Bruce Wayne?
Batman, leaning in: Bruce, say it to my face next time you little bitch.
"guys i think my boyfriend's mad at me what do i do"
They are somewhat bonding
dick: you were gone for months, everyone though you were insane or else, dead even, you cut off all of the contacts with your family, friends and colleagues. and now turns out you what. almost joined an ancient murderous cult? lost an organ? have committed a few terroristic attacks? and fraud?
tim: it was my hot girl summer
dick: you've been banned from seven different countries
tim: not me being a girlypop
dick:
tim: also, is it a terroristic attack if you attack terrorists?
Day 4 of Cass Cain Week! Mantle Swap commission by
@01lev04
For @casscainweek
Scene: Batcave — 20 Minutes After “Spooky Boy Supreme” Reveal
Danny is back in human form.
Sitting cross-legged on the medical table.
Eating cookies.
Because of course he is.
“…I’m just saying,” he says to no one in particular, “if you’re gonna call me an ‘entity,’ I deserve at least one cool nickname.”
From the computer—
a secure line opens.
Then another.
Then three more.
Bruce didn’t call them.
Which means—
They’re already watching.
Holograms Flicker On
One by one, the Batfamily appears.
Nightwing — already mid-concerned-big-brother face
Red Hood — leaning back like this is about to be entertaining
Red Robin — eyes locked, processing at 300 mph
Oracle — calm, but very focused
Danny waves.
“Hi! Oh wow, there’s more of you.”
Silence.
Collective.
Processing.
Nightwing is first.
“…Bruce,” he says slowly, “why is there a glowing file label next to that kid that says ‘Lazarus-class’?”
Danny perks up. “RIGHT?? I asked the same thing!”
Batman: “We’re still assessing.”
Red Hood leans forward.
“…Define ‘assessing,’ because from where I’m sitting, that looks like ‘you brought home something that crawled out of a pit and gave it cookies.’”
Danny points at him. “Okay, first of all, I did not crawl out of a pit—”
Damian cuts in:
“He is worse.”
Danny gasps. “Wow.”
Tim (Red Robin) Zooms In
Literally.
He enhances the feed.
Pulls up Danny’s scan overlay.
“You’re not just calling him Lazarus-adjacent,” Tim says, voice tight with focus. “His energy signature is stabilized. That’s not possible.”
Danny raises a hand.
“Okay, not to derail the science moment, but I feel like I should be impressed and I don’t know why.”
Tim ignores him.
“He’s not degrading,” Tim continues. “No rage spikes, no neural decay, no dependency cycles—”
Barbara (Oracle) cuts in:
“Which means whatever he is, it’s not a side effect.”
A beat.
“…It’s the base state.”
Silence.
That lands.
Danny slowly lowers his cookie.
“…Okay, that one sounded important.”
Jason (Red Hood) Leans In
Now he’s interested.
Really interested.
“…Kid,” Jason says, “you ever, I don’t know—die and come back wrong?”
Danny brightens instantly.
“Oh! Yeah, that’s literally my whole deal.”
Jason sits up.
“…You’re kidding.”
“Nope.”
“How many times?”
Danny pauses.
“…Define ‘times.’”
Jason grins.
Sharp.
Delighted.
“Oh, I like him.”
Damian: “No.”
Nightwing Tries to Be the Adult
Fails immediately.
“Okay—okay—hold on,” Dick says, rubbing his face. “Let’s back up. Bruce, you’re telling me this kid—”
gestures vaguely at Danny
“—got stabbed multiple times, healed instantly, then turned into a glowing ghost thing, and your solution was to—what—bring him home?”
Danny raises his hand.
“In my defense, I came with snacks.”
Alfred, off-screen:
“And impeccable manners.”
Dick freezes.
“…Alfred’s on his side?”
Batman: “…Yes.”
Dick exhales.
“…We’ve lost him.”
Barbara Takes Control
“Alright,” Barbara says, voice calm, cutting through the chaos. “Danny, right?”
Danny nods. “Yep!”
“Walk me through it. What exactly happens when you ‘transform’?”
Danny perks up.
“Oh! Okay, so—”
Damian: “He does not need to—”
Too late.
Danny’s eyes flash green—
—and in a split second—
he shifts again.
White hair.
Glowing eyes.
Hovering just above the ground.
The Batcave lights flicker.
The feed glitches—
across every screen.
Everyone goes still.
Jason actually leans closer.
“…Oh, that’s—yeah, that’s familiar.”
Tim whispers:
“That’s not Lazarus…”
Barbara, quieter:
“…but it’s close enough to matter.”
Nightwing just stares.
“…Bruce.”
Batman doesn’t respond.
Because he’s watching Danny.
The way the air bends.
The way the cave reacts.
The way something else seems to exist in the same space as him—
layered over reality.
Danny looks at the holograms.
“…Too much?”
The Realization Hits—All at Once
Tim:
“He’s self-sustaining.”
Barbara:
“He’s not reacting to the environment—”
Jason:
“He is the environment.”
Damian:
“He is a liability.”
Danny: “Hey—”
Nightwing:
“He’s a kid.”
Silence.
That one hits differently.
Danny freezes.
Just slightly.
Then—
“…Yeah,” he says, softer.
The glow flickers.
Just a bit.
Jason Breaks the Tension
“…So,” Jason says casually, “does this mean he can’t die, or—”
Danny shrugs mid-air.
“Hasn’t stuck yet.”
Jason nods.
“Yeah, okay, we’re definitely keeping him.”
Damian: “We are not keeping him.”
Jason: “Speak for yourself.”
Batman Finally Speaks
Low.
Final.
“He’s not a weapon.”
That shuts everyone up.
Even Jason.
Even Damian.
Danny blinks.
“…Was that in question?”
No one answers.
Which is an answer.
Batman continues:
“He’s not a resource. Not a tool. Not a solution.”
A beat.
“…And not something Ra’s gets to claim.”
That shifts the room.
Immediately.
Barbara sharpens.
“You think Ra’s knows?”
Batman: “Yes.”
Tim: “…Then we have a problem.”
Jason grins again.
“Correction—we have a fun problem.”
Damian: “You are the only one who finds this enjoyable.”
Danny Floats Down
The glow fades.
He drops back into human form.
Looks around.
“…So, quick summary—am I in danger, or like… extra in danger?”
Nightwing sighs.
“…Both.”
Danny nods.
“Cool. Just checking.”
Final Beat
Alfred steps into frame behind Danny.
Places a hand lightly on his shoulder.
Grounding.
Steady.
“You will not be facing it alone, Master Danny.”
Danny smiles.
Easy.
Trusting.
“Yeah,” he says. “I figured.”
Across the cave—
Batman watches.
Because now it’s not just a mystery.
Not just a case.
Not just a threat.
It’s a responsibility.
And somewhere out there—
Ra's al Ghul is already moving, Readmore