#source: personal conversation

[incorrectsdmi]

Judy: Mom brain is real. I felt so dumb throughout my entire pregnancy.

Cassidy: Why? Because Brad was the father?

[incorrectghosts]

Joan: Hang on, I just need a sec.

Sas: Oh, don’t worry. We have a lot of secs.

Everyone:

Sas: *turns red* That’s not what I- I mean… take your time. No rush.

[westannatasharomanoff]

*Clint and Natasha are driving somewhere*

Clint: Ugh. The gps says it’s gonna take an hour and two minutes to get there.

Natasha: Yikes.

*roughly three minutes later*

Clint: Oh, good! It’s saying it’s only gonna take 59 minutes now. The time is getting shorter.

Natasha: What?

Clint: It was gonna take an hour and two minutes, and now it’s only going to take 59 minutes.

Natasha: Yeah, because three minutes have passed.

Clint: What do you mean?

Natasha: We’ve been driving for the past three minutes, and now we’re closer to where we’re going, so it’s gonna take less time.

Clint: I think you just broke my brain.

[incorrecttonks]

Tonks, walking to get her laundry in only a blanket: Everyone avert your eyes! I’m a little bit naked. My pajamas were a casualty of the toaster fire this morning!

Sirius, looking up from his crochet: The WHAT?!

[incorrectgreysquotes]

*Derek tries to do thirty pull ups*

Cristina: Some of those were half ups, you know.

Derek: Suck my dick!

Owen: *turns to Cristina* Please don’t.

[incorrectmusicals]

*on the way to school one morning*

Nessa: Crap! I forgot my makeup for dress rehearsal!

Frexpar: When I was in plays in high school and that happened, I'd usually just ask my sister if I could borrow some of hers, but I don't think yours has any.

Elphaba: *starts digging in her bag* Hold on...

Frexpar: It's okay if you don't.

Elphaba: Let me commit to the bit!

Frexpar: Do you have something weird in there?

Elphaba: *pulls out bright green foundation* Is this what you need?

[ideasforincorrectquotes]

Person A: My parents only ever drink aged wine.

Person B: Yeah, well... there are two things that get better with age: liquor, and men.

Person A:

Person A: WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?

[incorrectgamora]

*on the way to school one morning*

Nebula: Crap! I forgot my makeup for dress rehearsal!

Thanos: When I was in plays in high school and that happened, I’d usually just ask my sister if I could borrow some of hers, but I don’t think yours has any.

Gamora: *starts digging in her bag* Hold on…

Thanos: It’s okay if you don’t.

Gamora: Let me commit to the bit!

Thanos: Do you have something weird in there?

Gamora: *pulls out bright green foundation* Is this what you need?