Batman's call with the Justice League goes longer than planned.
Part 1 Part 2
Hey, I decided to join the trend of Bruce forgetting to hang up on a JL call and they all find out he has kids. Hope you enjoy.
“All right, that’s all we need for now.” Superman tells the group of League members, including Batman’s who’s calling in from the Batcave. “Batman, will you be back tomorrow?” Diana asks.
“I’m following a lead down here in Gotham, I’ll return once I’m finished. Signing off.” However, thanks to a button switch by one of his sons to prank the other, instead of hanging up, Bruce simply muted the League and turned off his side of the screen. “Y-you can hang up now Batman.” Clark said, the league seeing him typing on the Batcomputer.
Barry gasps, highly amused and now entertained, “Oh my gosh, he didn’t hang up.” Diana shook her head at his antics. “That’s enough. We’ll simply do it from our end–” She’s cut off by Hall jumping up and pointing at the screen, “Someone’s trying to attack him!”
They all turn and see someone sneaking up on Batman, hands out ready to attack. “Batman!” They all shout, even though they know it’s pointless. Clark is about to call him again on another line when Batman says, “Nice try.” with a flat tone. The person comes into the screen’s light. “Oh, come on! I was so quiet.” The League look at each other confused. Who was this guy and why was Batman so calm with him?
“Wait, that’s Nightwing!” Barry points, realizing his nephew’s best friend, “What’s he doing with Batman?” They all slowly sat down, now invested. “You still made too much movement to try and sneak up on me. You need to move more like her.” Bruce tells him, not looking away from the Batcomputer. Nightwing gives a confused look, “Like who?”
Batman smirks and Nightwing jumps with a scream as a face falls in front of him, a girl in a ballet outfit with sweatpants over it, was now crouched on the top of Bruce’s chair. “Like her.” Bruce finishes looking up at the girl with a smile. She smiles back and pulls his cowl off revealing to the League that their leader and friend is the one and only Bruce Wayne. “Holy shit!” Hal yells standing up.
“Bruce?” Clark’s eyes widen, not believing what he’s seeing. He’s been friends with both of Batman’s identities this whole time. “Hi dad.” The figure says, and whatever shock was running through the League before just tripled. “Dad?!”
Bruce smiles at the girl as she hops down from the top of the chair to stand beside him, “How was practice, Casandra?” He asks, to which the girl just shrugs, “Simple. The recital is tomorrow night, you’ll be there?” Her voice holds a tone of hopefulness.
“Of course I will. I wouldn’t miss it.” Nightwing comes back over and leans against the chair, “We’re all going to be there, even Dami.” Barry rubs his eyes, “Wait so, Nightwing, some girl named Casandra, and now a third one? Batman has three kids?!” Hal shrugged processing this, “Where the hell is he getting them?”
“I’m going to fucking kill him, B!” Someone comes bursting into the cave holding up an empty capri-Caprisuns box, tall with a white stripe in his hair, a Red Hood logo across his chest, and a signature leather jacket over it. “Wait! This ‘Dami’ guy is the Red Hood?” Oliver leans forward. Bruce spins in his seat with a sigh, “Who are you not going to kill Jason?”
This new one, apparently Jason, points to who the League recognizes as Robin, who has his mask off however, showing Damian ‘Dami’ Wayne. “The thing is, he made fun of me for getting Caprisuns,” Jason begins to Bruce, “and then he drank 8 of my Caprisuns!” Damian let out a laugh at Jason’s crash out.
“Todd you’re in your 20s and you’re arguing over Caprisuns—” Jason cut Damian off, “B, either you ground him or I fight him, so there’s two options.” He told Bruce who sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.“I’ll buy your more Caprisuns Jason.”
“It’s not just about the Caprisuns, it’s the principle!” The man yells then tosses the box to Bruce, “And Strawberry Kiwi.” He sits on a couch next to Dick beside the Batcomputer, all of them completely unaware that the entire League had just witnessed the interaction, developing more questions than they thought they could possibly have.
“Dick, I know you keep a secret stash of juice somewhere, come on, you gotta share with me.” Jason leans over to Nightwing. “Did he just call him a dick?” Clark asks no one in particular. That’s not a very convincing way to get someone to help you. “Holy shit! It’s Dick Grayson.” Barry says, everything becoming more clear.
To confirm his suspicion, Nightwing pulls his mask off revealing that he was in fact Dick Grayson, eldest son of Bruce Wayne. “Who keeps giving this man kids!?” Hal throws his hands up. It’s got to be a serious dock on your adoption forms: What are your stances on Child Safety? Taking said children out every night dressed as walking rubix cubes on the streets of Gotham City to fight crime.
“Sorry, no can do. Alfred took my stash last time I went to Blüdhaven.” Dick tells his brother. Another teenager comes into the screen holding several files and looks like he hasn’t slept in about 90 hours. “Damn, you look rough.” Jason tells him, and Dick nods in agreement, “Seriously, when’s the last time you slept Timbird?” The teenager, Tim, looks at Dick and thinks, “What’s today?”
Bruce groans and rubs the bridge of his nose, “Tim–” his tone consists of a reprimanding one, but still carries a gentler note. Tim cuts him off and holds the files up, “Bruce, just look at these. I found locations for several drug runs in Lower East Gotham, I think if we go Thursday night it’ll be perfect because that’s when the shipments are coming in. I also, may have, found out when the shipments are coming in.”
As the boy continues rambling Bruce stands up and wraps his arms around him, cape draping as a type of weighted blanket and Tim’s ramblings slowly stop, as he falls asleep against him. “Alfred, code tired bird.” Bruce says into a small device, and the next thing the League knew, an older man comes downstairs with a pillow and weighted blanket, Bruce putting Tim on the couch next to Dick.
“I do believe Master Drake has been up since Monday night, I seem to be missing all of our coffee mugs.” Alfred drapes the blanket over him, and slides the pillow under his head.
“What, the actual f–did Batman just hug someone?” Hal says, standing up and leaning towards the screen. “He looks so…calm.” Diana says with admiration in her tone.
This next part includes an OC who is Bruce’s 4 year old daughter Alessia from a previous story of mine. You can skip to the next bolded section to skip it, and it’ll be like a separate part of the story:)
A head pops up on the screen, causing all the League members to jump. A little girl, around 4 or 5 is now staring right at them, hair in pigtails and pink Wonder Woman pajamas. “Lessi, what are you doing down here?” Bruce asks, his voice the softest anyone watching from the screen had ever heard. The girl runs over to where Tim is and kisses his forehead, “Timmy looks sleepy.”
Dick picks her up holding her upside down, drawing laughs from the girl, “He is sleepy, just like you should be.” He says, sending her over to Bruce once placing her back on the ground.”
He scoops the little girl up and places her on his lap and she giggles, his cape falling over her, “I wanted to come say hi before bed time. Are you gonna tuck me in, Daddy?” She asks, melting the hearts of the League. Bruce smiles and wraps his cape around her more like a blanket, the same way he did with Tim, “You were supposed to be asleep an hour ago princess.”
He looks over to Jason who holds his hands up, “I tucked her in. She was asleep when I left.” He says and the little girl giggles. “I woke up?” Bruce stands up and begins walking towards the entrance to the cave, “Come along Alessia. Time for bed.”
The League watches him disappear off screen and watch the others communicate about random things until he returns.
Story continued.
“So, Little D, when are you gonna introduce us to your girlfriend?” Jason asks Damian who scoffs and rolls his eyes, “Tt. Never, Todd. I’d prefer to keep her as far away from you all as possible.”
Jason smirks, “Aw, come one kid. We’re going to have to meet her eventually, after all she was invited to the big 18th birthday party next week. Besides, how else am I supposed to cock-block someone? Dick’s got his own place, and Tim is too coffee wired half the time to make a person to person connection. I have you to rely on.” Damian throws a sai dagger in his direction which is easily caught.
“Oh my gosh, did he just try to kill his brother?” Diana asks, worried and also a little impressed. “Damian! What did I say about trying to inflict bodily harm upon your brothers?” Bruce scolds his youngest.
“Well, you said I couldn’t mentally destroy them either so what am I supposed to do?” Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose, not bothering to answer. “I have to make a call to the Justice League so everybody pretend like I didn’t adopt you for a minute, and I’ll take you to Disneyland next week.” He says, pulling on his cowl.
Everyone is quick to jump up and head towards the door excitedly, even Damian who pauses half way, “I’d just like to point out that you didn’t adopt me and I am blood. Hear that, blood.” He tells the rest, and Dick covers his mouth, “We talked about you shouting blood at people.”
The Justice League scrambles and begins trying to turn off the screen or hang up but Batman switches over seeing them all on the table reaching for the call control screen.
At a concert that we rallied and rallied the artist to come to Gotham for! So glad she actually came, and am prepared to deck any villains that try to cause a ruckass.
“This isn't fair.” Jason complained for the fifth time. “Dick doesn't have to go to some stupid rich people party.” Bruce grinned, fixing his sons tie. “The horror you must now face.” Jason scowled. “Its not funny Bruce!” the 13 year old pouted. Bruce chuckled, standing and reaching out to tousle his kids hair. “Jay bird, buddy, dick had to go to so many of these things when he was your age. And before that. Be happy you only have to go to three this year. Dick would already have been at twelve at this point and have fourteen more in his future. You don't.” he tweaked jason's nose. Jason frowned. “Still not fair.” he muttered. Bruce chuckled, shaking his head. “To you, probably not. Dick must find it even more unfair.” Jason just scowled at the carpet. “Hey. Bud, look at me.” Bruce squatted in front of his charge. “Just do this one night, only two hours, okay? Then we can buy ice cream and watch movies until sunrise aright?” Jason lit up like a firecracker. “Really? Benny's ice cream?” Bruce laughed, standing and swinging his son onto his hip. “Of course! Like i would buy any other!” Jason smiled too. Bruce swung his son in a circle before throwing him up in the air and catching him again. Jason giggled. “Master Bruce!” Alfred reprimanded, walking into the parlor. “You will get Master Jason's suit messed up! Along with your own.” Bruce waved him off, swinging jason onto his shoulders. “Thats alright alfie. I don't mind. Jay bird doesn't either, do you Firecracker?” “nope!” Jason called, beaming. Bruce laughed and Alfreds lips twitched in a smile. “Very well. But i do believe the public might.” Bruce could almost feel Jason wilt on his head. Alfred noticed it too, but it was to late. And besides, he was right. Bruce sighed, gently lifting jason off his shoulders and placing him on the ground. “Alrighty bud. Heres what we’re gonna do alright?” He tipped jason's chin up so the young boy was looking him in the eye. “You're gonna cough really loudly when the chauffeur comes to pick us up, okay? And then ill pretend to really worried and touch your forehead and say you're burning up, and then alfred will take you inside and ill go to the Gala. You can stay here with Alfie and watch some movies and ill be back soon. Okay buddy?” Jason sniffed. “What?” “i believe, Master Jason, what your father is trying to say, is that you should pretend sick to not have to go to the ‘rich people party.”’ Bruce smiled in thanks at his butler. Jason frowned. “But- then you'll go alone.” Bruce smiled. “Thats okay bud. I've been to these before.” he made a throw away hand gesture. Jason nodded. “Okay. But hurry back.” Bruce laughed, leaning to hug his son. “I will. Be good for alfred. And eat some ice cream for me.” he winked and stood, tousling jason's hair one last time. “See ya kiddo.”
“Hey jay bird, no gala after all?” Jason looked up to see his older brother standing in the doorframe, wiping his hands on a towel, shirtless and sweaty. Jason shook his head. “No. Pops said i should fake sick and went without me. What have you been doing?” he looked over at dick who came over, stretching out on the couch. “Training.” Dick answered, closing his eyes. “For what?” jason asked. Dick cracked a smile. “Nothing. Just staying fit. Dad did build an entire jungle gym for me when he took me in. So i figured id try it out again. Try to keep my mind off tonight you know?” He shrugged, sitting up and wiping his face. Jason's brow furrowed. “Why keep your mind off tonight? WHats tonight?” Dick shrugged again. “Just the Gala. But its the first one i wont be attending since Bruce took me in. It feels, kinda weird. Don't get me wrong, i hated those things,” he laughed. “But, a part of me will miss being at Dads side all night, being fawned over.” he laughed again, but it was sadder. Jason frowned. “The first? Didn't pops ever offer for you to fake sick?” Dick nodded. “Oh yeah. All the time. But i never accepted. I always wanted to go with him anyway. Even if i hated the galas.” he shrugged. Jason looked over at the now melted bowl of ice cream he had set out for Bruce. He had planned on eating it, so he could eat some ice cream for his father the way Bruce had said to, but hadn't in the end. “Is it-” he hesitated. Dick looked at him. “Is it what Chum?” Jason looked at his older brother. “Is it too late to go now?” Dick smiled.
“Yes yes, thank you.” bruce smiled cheerfully at the group of people who passed then turned and his face immediately dropped. He was so damn tired. He was glad jason had decided to stay home, the Gala was even more boring than usual. Selina hadn't showed up either, so the night was looking drab for Bruce. “Omg, who is that?” Voices started to pick up but bruce ignored them, choosing instead to grab a refreshment. He hated the drama and gossip that flowed at Galas, although it was always good to be informed. Sighing, he turned to where everyone was looking, and almost dropped his drink.
“Dick.” Jason whispered out of the corner of his mouth. “They're all staring.” Dick flashed an easy smile at the guests, resting a hand on Jason’s shoulder. “Let them stare. You are a Wayne. They have every reason to.” Jason had known he was adopted. It had been a whole court deal. And Bruce called him son and everything. But, strangely, having dick just casually mention that he was now a Wayne, along with Bruce and him, it just made him feel so much more accepted. Made the whole thing real. Jason straightened. “Yeah.” he said confidently. “Okay.” They made their way down the stairs to the main room and Jason tried not to listen to the whispers that followed them. “Oh my gods, are those the Wayne brothers?” “holy shit Grayson got hot.” “aw, look at the new charity case.” Jason's ear burned at the last comment and Dicks hand on his shoulder tightened but he didn't turn around. Jason kept his head up and his stride confident. Until he spotted Bruce. Bruce was gaping at them, but the pure elation on his face had Jason breaking away from dick and running to him, throwing himself in bruces arms. “Hey buddy!” bruce greeted, hugging him tight. “What are you doing here?” “Got tired of icecream.” jason murmured into bruces suit. Bruce laughed, tousling his hair. “Well, im glad you came. This party was getting boring without my favorite people.” Jason smiled and heard dick laugh as the older boy came nearer. “Hey B.” Bruce smiled, one arm hugging his oldest son. “Hey chum. Nice suit.” Dick grinned. “Thanks.” Bruce nodded to jason, who still had one arm wrapped around his leg. “I see you thought Jason could use the wardrobe change as well?” he asked dryly. Dick chuckled. “You know old man.” Bruce rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Thank you.” he said softly. Dicks grin faded into something softer. “It didn't feel right?” Dick said, but it was more of a question. Bruce shook his head, wrapping an arm around dicks shoulders. “No. It didn't. But,” he smiled, reaching down to place a hand on jason's shoulder. “Now it does.” Dick smiled as well. “Yes. Now it does.” “Wayne Boys for life right Pops?” Jason asked, grinning up at Bruce. Bruce choked on air. “Where’d you hear that?” he asked, but dick winked at him. “Right Jay bird. Wayne Boys for life.” “men.” Bruce corrected. “Please. Wayne Men, for life.” Dick laughed, wrapping his arm around Bruce. “Alright old boy. Wayne Men.” the three of them grinned at each other. “Wayne Men for life.”
Marinette looked back at her phone, trying to follow the directions to Cosmic Threads. She was new to Gotham, but it had been listed as one of the best fabric stores in the city. She couldn't wait to create her latest design.
As she turned the corner, she was bowled over by a group of older boys.
"Sorry!" they shouted, as the continued to run down the street.
Marinette sighed as she picked up her phone from the floor. As she picked it up, she noticed a black wallet on the floor.
'Must belong to one of those boys. I can drop it off on my way back from the store.'
Suddenly, her arm was grabbed and she was face to face with The Penguin.
'Son of a bitch! No wonder why they ran! They at least could have warned me!'
The batboys winced when they saw the girl they had run into, in the arms of The Penguin. He had his umbrella gun pointed right at her and she didn't look happy. She didn't even look scared; she looked pissed off. Once they entered the fight, it wasn't hard for him to claim her as a hostage. All it had taken was a well thrown batarang to knock the umbrella out of his hand, but he had quickly tossed her off to the side. Red Hood protected her and told her to run through a side exit and was gone. No more distractions. Marinette quickly ran out only to run into the cops.
'Looks like I can't go shopping today. Guess I might as well return the wallet.'
Marinette looked inside and saw a Gotham ID. The wallet belonged to Damian Wayne.
After Marinette had given her statements, she turned to leave. She turned towards the crowd and saw the boys from before. Marinette walked up to them and threw the wallet at them.
"Thanks for the tip, Assholes!" she shouted.
Damian picked up the wallet and looked inside, "So, how much did you steal?"
Marinette was quick to punch him in his face, breaking his nose.
"You-" he cried out.
Jason and Dick held Damian in place, as she glared at him.
"How honorable you are, Coward." She sneered.
Marinette turned away and quickly let the scene. Jason let go of Damian's shirt and started laughing. Dick called for a medic to come look at his youngest brother. Tim sighed, and looked down.
'Blood? Was she injured by the Penguin?'
Tim left to follow. It hadn't been that hard to catch up with her.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asked her.
"I'm fine." she growled and continued walking.
Tim looked her over and noticed a gash on her leg. Rapidly, he picked her up. Marinette started struggling, trying to break free.
"Hey! Put me down! Help! Help!" Mari began to scream, as Tim took her back to the crime scene.
"Hey!" Tim called out, "She needs medical attention. She's just stubborn!"
"I can take care of myself" Marinette cried out.
"Oh, really?" Damian questioned, as he held a cloth to his nose, "What were you going to do? Stitch yourself up?"
"Yes." Mari answered.
Damian recoiled in shock. He looked her up and down. The gash was the length of her inner calf and appeared deep.
"I doubt you have the medical training to handle something of that magnitude." Damian declared.
"And I doubt you know how to be a gentleman!" she replied, "Oh, wait! You already proved that."
Damian glared at her as Drake hesitantly set her down.
"I can do it myself." Marinette explained.
"I can't allow that!" the EMT stated
"I was brought back against my will and do not wish to receive medical attention." she spoke, crossing her arms.
"Where are your parents?" the EMT questioned.
Marinette smiled, "Isn't emancipation the best."
The Wayne boys and the medical attendant looked at her in shock.
"Can anyone look after you?" they asked, "I have to accept you refused treatment, but I'd rather not have you go later to a hospital for blood loss."
Marinette rolled her eyes and picked up the cleaning solution from the ambulance. After she sprayed the solution on her, she grabbed the stitching needle with the thread. She quickly and easily stitched herself up. She wrapped her leg with cotton and gauze.
"Like sewing a shirt." She quipped.
Marinette hopped off the back of the ambulance and walked away.
Damian quickly grabbed her hand. Mari turned and glared at him.
"You are right. I should have spoken up as we rushed by, even grabbed your hand." he stated, "Let me do the honor of walking you home."
"I don't know." Marinette spoke, "You might attract more rouges along the way."
"Dinner then?" he suggested, "Come have dinner with us and I can make sure you are given a ride home."
She sighed, "You're not gonna stop until you redeem yourself, are you?"
"I'm told I stubborn." Damian declared.
Marinette looked at him and relented.
"Fine, but if I don't go home by seven, I'm calling the cops for kidnapping." she answered, "I'm already behind work because of you and have to get up earlier to get what I need now."
"Your injury won't hinder you?" he questioned, "Can't your boss give you a break?"
"I'm my own boss." Marinette smiled, "I do comission work from my own home. I was on my way to Cosmic Threads for some fabric."
"Maybe I can pay for your fabric then." Damian inquired.
Marinette winced, "I take hours to shop. I know exactly what I need and I'm picky when it comes to the quality of my work. It also won't be a frugal purchase."
just some funny memes in Wayne family form. Hope you enjoy:)
1.
Stephanie pinches the bridge of her nose, “When I asked you to bring me something from the beach I meant like a seashell or one of the small cute jars of sand.” Jason glares at her while trying to hold a seagull, “Well you could’ve been more specific!”
2.
“Ah fuck.” Wally turns his head towards the stairs from his spot on the couch next to Dick, “Was that Jason? Is he okay?” Dick shrugs, eyes still on the tv, “He’s good.”
Wally raises an eyebrow, “He said fuck.” Dick shakes his head, “No he said ‘ah’ fuck. Translates roughly to ‘lol whoops’.” Wally nods along with it. “If you say so.”
A few minutes later they hear a thud from upstairs, “Oh fuck!” Dick’s eyes widen, “I’m guessing ‘oh’ means something different.” Dick nods, “Irreversible, possibly fatal error. I should go check on him.”
3.
Bruce: eating breakfast minding his own business.
Dick: “We had to climb over the bob wire.”
Tim: “Dude, did you must say ‘bob wire’?”
Jason: Yeah man, that spiky shit!”
Tim: “You actually think it’s called bob wire? Like fucking Robert wire? You think it’s called Robert wire?”
Dick: “Well what the hell do you think it’s called?”
Tim: “It’s BARB wire you idiots! Like Barbara wire!”
Damian: “Oh my gosh. You guys, BARBED wire. Because the wire has barbs, it is BARBED.”
Dick, Jason, & Tim: “Ohhhhh!”
Damian: “Fucking Robert and Barbara wire. Fuck you guys.”
Bruce: wanting a refund from Gotham Academy.
Also Bruce: regrets pulling them out of class from missions so much.
4.
A guy trying to hit on Cassandra: “Excuse me miss have you ever been arrested.”
Cassandra: “Yeah. How could you tell?”
Guy: "I was gonna say it’s illegal to be that cute. But now I’m curious.”
Cassandra: “Aggravated assault.”
5.
Stephanie on her period: “Ughhh, I have the biggest craving for sugar.”
Bruce: “If you want something sweet why not try an apple?"
Stephanie: “Because an apple doesn’t taste like a red velvet cupcake bitchbag.”
Bruce texting Alfred who’s at the store: “Need red velvet cupcakes.”
6.
Lian: “Daddy, does Uncle Jay have Peacock? I wanna watch the fishie show.”
Roy: “I can ask.”
Roy texting Jason: “Lian’s asking if you have peacock?”
