Terra's (fan)fics

I'm Terra. This place mostly just exists for the sake of having a place to put up the fiction I've started to write. I'll probably also talk on occasion.

[luxwing]

time for a 

little horny posting

[dozy-draconequus-deactivated202]

Little horny on main

[malibuklaus]

[malibuklaus]

idek what this says i just pressed post immediately after seeing the word 'blessica'

[terraoblivion]

This is a joke, right? There aren't actually people considering naming their kids Blessica, right? Surely there can't actually be people named Blimpson out there... Right?

[tobiasdrake]

Can you imagine being Gandalf? Getting shit from other wizards because you have a thing for hobbits and you're just like, okay. Okay, maybe I'll temper my fascination with hobbits.

This Ring quest will have two hobbits. Maximum.

Then they all get to Rivendell and have somehow multiplied into four hobbits. And it's like. Okay. Maybe the others are right.

Maybe this is too many hobbits.

We have as many hobbits as we have not-hobbits.

But damn it, you just don't want to get rid of any of these hobbits. Screw it! Everyone can deal. Four hobbits. This is a four hobbits problem.

So away you go.

And things go bad in the worst possible way.

Over and over.

You've lost your hobbits. You've lost yourself. The fellowship has been separated.

It takes everything in your power to help the humans defend themselves, bringing them together to save Rohan. Finally, as things begin to look upright, you're ready to face the war with everything the Rohirrim have left.

You're ready to face him. This may be the hardest battle you've ever fought. But you ride.

Then you get there and two of your fucking hobbits are sitting there like "Yeah, while you were gone, we raised a tree army and beat Saruman's ass. Wanna help us loot his tower?"

....

There were not, in fact, too many hobbits.

This was a four hobbits problem.

[necromancelena]

Die temu ad die

[necromancelena]

Hmm. Accidentally looks like latin.

[chef-boy-ar-girl]

It accidentally is latin

[saanah]

Accidental latin is my new favourite thing.

[santapau]

Found this in the margins of a medieval manuscript.

[qqueenofhades]

This is a very charming illustration and I do approve of Accidental Latin, but unfortunately, that is not what this (Fake) Accidental Latin actually says. Google Translate seems to think "temu" is identical to "timor" (infinitive, "to fear"), which would then be conjugated in first-person singular as "timeo" ("I fear"). "Temu" is not a word in Latin. So that is a very weird leap on Google Translate's part to turn gibberish into... something vaguely etymologically similar sounding? Hmm.

Next, "die" does mean "day," though nominative singular is "dies," i.e. "dies irae." It could be conjugated "die" if it was in ablative or locative case, but "die ad die" would mean something more like "day to day." "Ad" is in a "to" direction and "ab" is from, i.e. "ab urbis," and ablative case is used to indicate the movement of a thing. In short, "by" is not really a way to translate "ad"; we might want "per" here? (Through, by means of, etc.)

Not to mention, it would be weird to put one "die" at the start and another at the end The verb also usually goes at the end in Latin sentences, just for that extra bit of fun. So yes, in short, this is not actually Latin, and Google Translate is very bad at Latin in particular. Nonetheless, still charming.

[nudistcat]

@theshitpostcalligrapher

[sekkitsune]

Agree, @qqueenofhades, except on the matter of breaking “die ad die” apart. It’s a common structure in poetic and oratorical Latin to jam one phrase in the middle of another. I can’t think of an example exactly parallel to this construction, but I could believe a Roman poet would write it!

[qqueenofhades]

Ah, that is true. My Latin is of the reading-medieval-documents (particularly charters and/or chronicles) variety, where the sentence and usage structures are often more formulaic and there is less poetic license to move words around. There is obviously far less fixity for word order in Latin, since the conjugations explain how they grammatically relate to each other rather than placement in the sentence. (Coincidentally, this is why I used to say that the best feeling in the world was walking past a Latin classroom and not having to go inside it. Ahem.)

So yes: true that poetical Latin might be more at liberty to split the "die"-s up that far, though "timeo" (verb) is still more likely in most cases to go at the end, which would place them together anyway ("die ad die timeo," "day to day I fear" if translated in strict word order, which would make sense to an English speaker and sound more poetic anyway). Keep in mind, however, that my Latin is a) fairly rusty and b) mostly used for said formulaic legal document reading rather than freeform verse, so don't super-hard quote me on this.

[sekkitsune]

I saw that ablative “die” and that final -u on “temu” and thought of the ablative supine (as in “mirabile dictu”) but as you observe, there isn’t a verb that “temu” could be, and then also, the ablative supine requires an adjective, as far as I know.

But perhaps “temu” is a hapax legomenon (in which case we would need the rest of the text to gloss it) or a scribal error for temeratu, from temero, “I defile or disgrace”. In that case, and in true Tumblr form, I might translate it as “daily I disgrace, in the manner of the day”, with some errors attributable to the scribe.

[qqueenofhades]

....oh my god. You might be a genius. Because what else does Tumblr do but daily disgrace [itself, oneself, and/or numerous others] in the manner of the day, and make numerous scribal errors.

[laurenthemself]

how dare you say we error on the scribes

[jtimu]

this is what happens when you buy your latin on temu

[terkmc]

Every haughty King needs a Jester in their court to keep them humble and down to earth

[terraoblivion]

Doesn't the poor girl get enough from her mom hating her and the public thinking she's a useless Nepo baby? Must she suffer a jester mocking her too?

[tetrafelino]

Gente eu tô me mijando de rir com esse vídeo

[boltertokokoro]

Drawings from drawthread

Space Marine drinking smoothie

Yandere St Celestine

Rogal Dorn with hardhat 

Grayfax being tsundere with yandere Celestine

Rogue Trader Kazuma

Visarch stalking Yvraine

Techpriest about to pop a paper bag on a sleeping necron.

Useless Living Saint Aqua

To join the weekly Discord drawthread, be my Patron for 2$ a month!https://patreon.com/luth

[femmenietzsche]

YouGov doing the Lord's work yet again

[lukewarmbreadatamoderatepace]

Which of the following is your favorite dinosaur?

Tyrannosaurus Rex

Brontosaurus

Triceratops

Pterodactyl

Velociraptor

Stegosaurus

Brachiosaurus

Other

I don't have a favorite

Voting ended onApr 23

*We know pterodactyls and plesiosaurs aren't dinosaurs

[probablybadrpgideas]

I've been going through the later Monster Manuals, which of the following is NOT an actual monster from a 3rd edition Monster Manual?

Ghost of a clown who follows you around calling you mean names

Monster who gives you depression. It only knows the spell "inflict depression". This doesn't benefit it in any way. It's just an asshole.

Outsider who comes to our dimension to punch ugly people to death

BRAIN MOLE, THE MOLE IN YOUR BRAIN!

Construct made of pure elemental sadness

Thing that drinks your bones. Not eats them, drinks them. Slurp Slurp.

Graveyard someone buried a vampire in and now the whole fucking graveyard is just one big vampire. Someone's getting fired for this.

Naptime fairies who jump you and forcibly tuck you in to bed because you look all tuckered out.

Monster that can only eat the undead so it goes around killing people, reanimating them as zombies and then eating them

Summoning circle someone fucked up making hard enough it's now alive and wondering around summoning random shit.

Make your guesses! Answers after the break!

In order!

Taunting Haunt (MM5)

Joystealer (MM4)

Visilight (MM3)

This is the fake! The BRAIN MOLE is actually in the Expanded Psionics Handbook.

Gloom Golem (MM3)

Bonedrinker (MM3)

Corpse Gatherer (MM2)

Petal (MM3)

Rot Reaver (MM3)

Summoning Ooze (MM3)

[maykitz]

"He [an 11th century monk named Eilmer] was a man learned for those times, of ripe old age, and in his early youth had hazarded a deed of remarkable boldness. He had by some means, I scarcely know what, fastened wings to his hands and feet so that, mistaking fable for truth, he might fly like Daedalus, and, collecting the breeze upon the summit of a tower, flew for more than a furlong [201 metres]. But agitated by the violence of the wind and the swirling of air, as well as by the awareness of his rash attempt, he fell, broke both his legs and was lame ever after. He used to relate as the cause of his failure, his forgetting to provide himself a tail."

(recorded by fellow monk William of Malmesbury in Gesta regum Anglorum)

[dukeofriven]

I have been to where he flew from! Malmesbury is one of the most beautiful places in England, and also holds the distinction for being the first recorded location in England of a woman being eaten by a tiger.

[prokopetz]

They're just doing shit in Malmesbury, huh?

[395nm]

Fuck Meyer-Briggs whatever typology. This INTFP shit is only for redditors up their own asses to substitute for a personality. Use my new typology instead!

Your ideal environment is:

Hot/Cold

Wet/Dry

Bright/Dark

Loud/Quiet

[bedupolker]

HWBL - beach boy

HWBQ - tropical fish

HWDL - dingy club bathroom hookup

HWDQ - the swamp woman

HDBL - CoachellaBurningmanSouthbysouthwestACL attendee

HDBQ - Lizard

HDDL - Vegas babeyyyy

HDDQ - Trapped in a slot canyon

CWBL - Rowdy Lobsterman Crew

CWBQ - penguin living

CWDL - port angeles basement show

CWDQ - bruminating amphibian/hypothermic mammal

CDBL - ski resort

CDBQ - Christmas in Nebraska

CDDL - mcmurdo station rave

CDDQ - corpse

[otternottertv]

Hi world. I am exactly 10 seconds old.

[celebrinienjoyer]

i need to show you all something that made me crylaugh last night. just fucking look at them.

[thesylverlining]

It's fine they just went a little nuts with the character creation face sliders

[ferricsailor]

this dialogue made me giggle a little

[terraoblivion]

At least people can remember your name, Tannhauser. Unlike Fukukitaru.

[sindar-princeling]

aragorn's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week:

the fellowship breaks on his watch

forced to choose who to follow

runs over 200 kilometers in under four days

thinks merry and pippin are dead

meets the reborn gandalf (a rare win), immediately has to do a 180 and ride to edoras

immediately after that needs to ride to battle

takes part in a battle which takes place over the whole night

gets maybe 20 hours of sleep over the course of the whole week

and, I cannot stress this enough, this is all still very far from over

[astriiformes]

I've reblogged this already, but need to add a very important detail to this post.

In the middle of this whole mess. March 1st, aka he day that he meets Gandalf again and has to do an immediate 180.

That's Aragorn's birthday.

[prokopetz]

Honestly, I can't really blame medieval scribes for making animals look Like That. It's easy to forget that manuscripts being copied by hand means the illustrations were reproduced that way, too, so often what we're looking at is a redrawing of a redrawing of a redrawing where nobody involved has ever personally seen the animal it's supposed to be. Like, if I drew animal you'd never seen, then asked you to copy my drawing without references, then asked your buddy to copy your drawing without referring back to mine, and so forth, I'd be surprised if it didn't end up looking like a space alien after as few as half a dozen steps!

[yehoria-offical]

okay i get it for like. wild animals. deer and whatnot. but i simply refuse to believe none of them have ever seen a horse

[prokopetz]

Horses famously resist accurate depiction, a phenomenon remarked upon by artists even today; this effect may be ontological in nature.

Medieval art often depicts knights riding all sorts of fanciful beasts; modern scholarship suggests that at least some figures traditionally identified as badly drawn horses are in fact meant to be weasels.

Centuries of selective breeding have resulted in a contemporary horse which very little resembles the horses of a thousand years ago; horses during the medieval period just looked like that.

They drew horses badly on purpose because, during the medieval period, most scribal work was performed by Roman Catholic monasteries, and as we know, all horses are Protestants.

The monks haven't been allowed to come down and look at visitors' horses ever since the Incident.

[ascholarlyengineer]

How were there Protestant horses before Martin Luther's time?

[prokopetz]

Where do you think he got the idea?

[zaprowsdower27]

Jan Hus.

But HE got the idea from the horses.

[prokopetz]

We cannot prove that Jan Hus was not a horse.

[terraoblivion]

Don't be silly. Jan Hus got the idea from John Wycliffe. However, he must have gotten the idea from horses since there doesn't seem to be any obvious human inspiration and surely he couldn't just come up with things on his own.

[adonischildsupportcase]

[stolenoc]