Your friendly neighborhood Salsa

She/her, late-20s swamp goblin.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi sex witch, hope your day's going well. When you finish a book, do you wait a set amount of time before starting a new one?

no. I'm usually reading 2-3 physical books at a time anyway, plus an audiobook + comics/graphics novels/manga sprinkled in to read in single sittings when I have time. like last night I finished The Last Contract of Isako and then spent the rest of my free time for the evening reading Chainsaw Man Vol. 9 beginning to end.

[the-ultimate-salsa]

This post reminded me to check my library app to see if any holds have come in... I have twenty (20) holds waiting for me 😅

[dajo42]

no, mother... you should have read my supposed "school field trip" permission slip closer.... i foresaw your betrayal a mile away.... im afraid, mother, it is you who has been sold to one direction

[caffedorzo]

spin the wheel to be assigned a mysterious source of income - who will grant you 10k usd every month without fail!!

will you take the money?

yes

no

bald / nuance

Remaining time: 3 days 19 hours

[rosalinesurvived]

[t00tsmcgee]

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

you get a breath weapon like a dragon, and the options go from fire to things like gravel or bees

you have this breath weapon! (also you're a dragon)

are you happy with it?

yes!!!!!

a little

it's okay I guess

no.

NO.

result/other

Remaining time: 5 days 1 hour

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Cmon man.

[blind-leading]

Stomach acid. I will dissolve you.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

So I can breathe normal and you can vomit on cue. I rescind my disappointment, mine is better.

[depsidase]

[crabanarchy]

Pipe sprung a leak in the bathroom the other day and the cat came and bothered me about it and I can't stop thinking about it. She doesn't know what a towel or a mop is but she knew there was an unauthorised fucking Wet and she trusted my ability to rectify the situation

[yorgen-sh]

[endreal]

Reblog to get fucking bopped by prev

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[tainbocuailnge]

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

[tainbocuailnge]

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

[augustdementhe]

I just need a good pot, a good wok, TWO paring knives, TWO steak knives, and one Santoku style choppitychoppity.

That’s IT.

I ask for SO LITTLE.

[rionsanura]

Very helpfully, there is someone keeping track of which high-quality kitchenware has been enshittified and which hasn’t.

https://ledger.worseonpurpose.com/

[augustdementhe]

Oh HELL yes.

[uptownthots]

what is a normal amount of photos to have on your phone. probably 28,000 right

[uptownthots]

DONT SAY THAAAAAAAAT

[sanrio-stud]

how many pics & videos do you have on your phone?

0-500

501-1,000

1,001-5,000

5,001-10,000

10,001-15,000

15,001-20,000

20,001-25,000

25,001-30,000

30,001-40,000

40,001-50,000

50,001-60,000

> 60,000

Remaining time: 2 days 11 minutes

[ihni]

Tell me an inside joke between you and a friend, without context.

[ihni]

I beg of everyone to read the tags to this post, as they are all random and hilarious and read kind of like a poem, if the poem was written by someone who was on a lot of drugs.

[pansy2025]

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

[mezzodical]

[my-dailydreams]

[sugar-for-ashes]

[fwizard]

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars

[skyrim-forever]

Middas? That ass could never be mid