[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

I avoid paying for a gym membership by going to Walmart and lifting the weights on the shelf. They try to escort me out but I'm just so fucking jacked

[todaysbird]

[cottoncandy-maggie]

Kenny is high-maintenance. Don’t question a diva.

[bpdritsu]

me: (googling) snake bite leg what to do

google: elevate and apply pressure

me: (lifting snake real high) apologize or else

[whyisntketchupasmoothie]

When Lorde said “I care for myself the way I used to care about you”? That’s one of the most healing things I’ve ever heard like wow that woman really hit me in the heart with that one

[kragehund-deactivated20200518]

My dumbass Christian brain misread this as “The Lord” and was trying to figure out what the hell this meant in biblical context.

[phil-the-stone-deactivated20180]

actually ive decided that infinity war just needs to be 2.5 hours of peter parker trying his best to address various adult superheroes as politely as possible and struggling a lot. attempts range from “your majesty mr panther sir” (accepted with only a small twitch of the lips & shuri giggling a lot) to “starlord”, which earns him 2 hours of riotous mockery from a talking raccoon

[phil-the-stone-deactivated20180]

[nudityandnerdery]

“Peter. Mr. Man was my father. Just call me Ant.”

[pawpels]

“I already have an aunt tho”

[joleneghoul]

i arrive to the occasion

I show up to the event

[pochowek]

Accept her

[chuckletons]

[feazelbal]

Fool…!

[lord-kitschener]

I still accept her

[best-of-inspirobot]

[did-you-know]

The Temple of Quechula was built in 1564 and abandoned in the 1700s because of a plague.

Source

[jonlybonlyfromboldlygo]

plague church emerges from the water.  totally cool.  normal.  not an ill omen or harbinger of doom at all.  happens ever y day

[braixxen]

Earth’s final boss is definitely in there.

[imanes]

Goats Like It When You Smile at Them, Extremely Heartwarming Study Says

“Goats can distinguish between happy and angry images of the same person.”

[theocseason4]

@1dietcokeinacan VERY good news

[1dietcokeinacan]

[temporalmoose]

[myrosecolouredgirl]

hey rather than donating to the roman catholic church, an organization with literally more money than god, how about you donate to the three black churches in louisiana that were set on fire by probably white supremacists

[lilsugarbush]

do i have any weird followers that want to transfer me money for absolutely no reason at all

[sansgod]

okay girls let’s go to therapy

[mightymargaretofanjou]

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

[frankie-steins-leg]

In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was walking in the forest during winter, and saw a wendigo sitting under a tree. I asked it if it was going to kill me. It said, “No, this is just a dream.” So I sat next to it in the snow for a bit and then he said, “The anger in your heart warms you now, but will leave you cold in your grave.” And then I woke up.

[wormcrud]

Well SOMEONE’S third eye is wide fucking open

[nymori]

I love this post so I made a thing.

[2aminhouston]

How do y'all not get tired of being mad all the time?

[slouchingtowardsbedlam-deactiva]