just overheard somwone say "hey dude i dont see the future I've got two balls and neither is made of crystal" and im absolutely losing it
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@thehermitking
just overheard somwone say "hey dude i dont see the future I've got two balls and neither is made of crystal" and im absolutely losing it
Happiness Will Come To You.
when tho
When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March
reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!
I reblogged this last year and I hung out with blink-182 backstage on March 30. Reblogging again because it worked the first time.
honestly, last year one of the best days of my life happened in late March
my girls debut albums <3
The federal minimum wage is officially a poverty wage in 2025. âThe annual earnings of a single adult working full-time, year-round at $7.25 an hour now fall below the poverty threshold of $15,650.â
and while it might not have technically been a poverty wage, it was certainly not a living wage when it was set, nearly 20 years ago in 2009.
I love trying to go to sleep and suddenly all your anxiety hits you at once. 10/10 would not recommend
Wizards are not naturally immortal, in fact creating their own form of immortality is their graduate thesis.
âI have created a perpetual healing spell.â
âA classic. Congratulations.â
âIf my soul leaves my body, this spell will keep it around and lucid enough to magic myself back together.â
âEffective. Next?â
âMy spell feeds off the life force of microscopic things! When bacteria die near me, it adds to my total. Wiping down the sink with antibacterial cleaner gives me SUCH a buzz; I think I may have to dial it down a bit.â
ââŠI would be very curious to see your notes about this spell.â
Breaking News: Wizard Grad Student causes major religious schism by casting drain soul on microorganisms, accidentally proving Animism
âI tied my bodyâs physical shape to my self-image. As long as I feel young, I wonât age.â
âI see it also gave you⊠ahâŠâ
âMassive dobonhonkeroos?â
âI was trying to find a more diplomatic way to bring it up.â
âAn unexpected side effect, but not an unwelcome one.â
âShall I assume itâs she/her from here on out, then?â
âOh yes.â
âI was trying to
find a more diplomatic
way to bring it up.â
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
My favourite thing about the D&D movie is it never stops trying to be a D&D movie even down to the most minute, unsung details. There's initiative order gags (I'll go last!) there's rolling a 1 gags (setting off the trap on the bridge by inexplicably just walking up to it) there's stat gags (nobody had high enough Intelligence to be in danger from the Intellect Devourers). Almost every spell is identifiable, from Xenk using smite to Sofina whipping out Finger of Death. Simon's character arc is about his self-confidence being tied to his mastery of magic because Charisma is the spellcasting stat for sorcerers. The era of movies based on games being afraid of their source material is over.
New York City ballet production of Midsummer Nights Dream
The fact this isn't a painting is a testament to one of the greatest feats of set design and production I've ever seen.
My god just look at this! The lighting, set design, photography... I've just never seen anything like it.
I think this is the first time I've ever been wowed by "this ISN'T a painting"!
wow, yeah, that... that looks very obviously like a painting. i can't even imagine how you get a set to look like that.
look at how the costumes are a mix of reflective satin and gauzy folds and chunky gilt ribbons and feather boas. the human figures *blend* into the painterly background, because their clothes and hair are constructed to have *brushstrokes*. that's absolutely magnificent.
I am prepared to go Hamlet on any situation at the least provocation.
"Going Hamlet" is like "going ham" but with more murder, suicide, and ghosts. But on the bright side, plays within plays!
see i thought you meant âget so depressed and overwhelmed with obligations that you make up convoluted plans where you alienate yourself from everyone you care about and end up creating more problems than the one youâre trying to solve.â
Well yeah, but specifically with a body count.
Wolfs: "Harmonize with us, lil buddy!"
Husky: "I'm hearing you, and I'm listening. And its great! But lemme teach y'all about a little something we in the business call 'Lyrics'"
America has a weird relationship with cults where theyâre terrified of small cults (or organizations they think are cults) but completely normalized massive cults that hurt many more people (eg: LDS Church, Jehovahâs Witnesses, the Amish, Scientology, most Megachurches)
To anybody asking if the Amish are a cult, the answer is yes, very much so.
Theyâre a high control group that isolate you from society. The cult decides how you dress, how you behave, who you marry and how. They control what you know, blocking all information from the outside world. They control how you feel and what youâre allowed to think with threats of both social and supernatural harm. Theyâre a cult.
The best method to determine if a group is a cult, in my opinion, is Steven Hassanâs (cult expert and former cult member himself) BITE model.
BITE stands for Behavior Control, Information Control, Thought Control, and Emotional Control.
The more points a group âscoresâ on the model, the more of a cult it is.
I think this model is the best one for several reasons:
Itâs more nuanced than âcultâ or ânot cultâ and doesnât make false equivalences between groups
Itâs versatile, applying to groups big and small, and cults of all kinds, religious, political, financial, etc.
It focuses on whatâs important, which is what the cult does to its members, and those membersâ experiences, and not on irrelevant details like how uncommon their doctrines are or whether they have a charismatic leader
[Image Description: Four slides outlining and giving examples of the four methods of control in the BITE model, listed as follows:
Behavior Control
Promote dependence and obedience
Modify behavior with rewards and punishments
Dictate where and with whom you live
Restrict or control sexuality
Control clothing and hairstyle
Regulate what and how much you eat and drink
Deprive you of seven to nine hours of sleep
Exploit you financially
Restrict leisure time and activities
Require you to seek permission for major decisions
Information Control
Deliberately withhold and distort information
Forbid you from speaking with ex-members and critics
Discourage access to non-cult sources of information
Divide information into Insider vs. Outsider doctrine
Generate and use propaganda extensively
Use information gained in confession sessions against you
Gaslight to make you doubt your own memory
Require you to report thoughts, feelings, & activities to superiors
Encourage you to spy and report on othersâ âmisconductâ
Thought Control
Instill Black vs. White, Us vs. Them, & Good vs. Evil thinking
Change your identity, possibly even your name
Use loaded language and cliches to stop complex thought
Induce hypnotic or trance states to indoctrinate
Teach thought-stopping techniques to prevent critical thoughts
Allow only positive thoughts
Use excessive meditation, singing, prayer, & chanting to block thoughts
Reject rational analysis, critical thinking, & doubt
Emotional Control
Instill irrational fears (phobias) of questioning or leaving the group
Label some emotions as evil, worldly, sinful, or wrong
Teach emotion-stopping techniques to prevent anger, homesickness
Promote feelings of guilt, shame, & unworthiness
Shower you with praise and attention (âlove bombingâ)
Threaten your friends and family
Shun you if you disobey or disbelieve
Teach that there is no happiness or peace outside the group
/End Image Description]
I'm being so serious rn if you tailgate people I don't think you should have a driver's license
Me: *is safely driving the legal speed limit home while it's completely dark outside*
The adult baby in the car behind me deciding to drive 5cm behind me while flashing their high beams at me: hm. I think you should fucking die.
Yep. About five years ago I was on the highway headed out of a neighbouring city in heavy traffic. Someone up ahead made a bad pass and had to suddenly pull back in, which meant every car behind that one had to suddenly make space like a row of dominos, but at 100kph. Not everyone was following at a safe distance. I did, thank fuck, and had time to react and brake. Some of the cars in front of me did not do that. Their drivers werenât injured, somehow, but their cars were written off. They werenât even especially bad drivers: just regular people, tired and in a hurry to get home. I will always remember sitting there pulled over on the side of the road, shaking like a leaf and looking at the wrecked cars and going oh my god thatâs why we have to stay a safe distance behind other cars.
Not only do you need distance to be able to brake if something happens, if you tailgate a driver while it is dark outside that driver cannot fucking see shit!!!! Stop fucking blinding me just because I'm not breaking the law with my driving speed you're going to kill us both
i hate how verification for shit always requires a phone nowadays
what if i dont want to give up personal info. what then. what if i dont want to give up something that can be used to track me down or spam call me by malicious parties if your database just so happens to get hacked. what then. what happened to only email verification. something thats super easy to have a bunch of throwaways for. you even need a fucking phone number to create emails nowadays like fuck off
fucked up
this is what english teachers mean by poetry appreciation right?
sam. hello, darling. the fucking shotgun?! it's all i had on me.
sometimes your soulmate is just your psycho best friend and it's entirely platonic
So, okay, fun fact. When I was a freshman in high school⊠let me preface by saying my dad sent me to a private school and, like a bad organ transplant, it didnât take. I was miserable, the student body hated me, I hated them, it was awful.
Okay, so, freshman year, Iâm deep in my âeverything sucks and Iâm stuck with these assholesâ mentality. My English teacher was a notorious hard-ass, letâs call him Mr. Hargrove. He was the guy every student prayed they didnât get. And, on top of ALL OF THE SHIT I WAS ALREADY DEALING WITH, I had him for English.
One of the laborious assignments he gave us was to keep a daily journal. Daily! Not monthly or weekly. Fucking daily. Handwritten. And we had to turn it in every quarter and he fucking graded us. He graded us on a fucking journal.
All of my classmates wrote shit like what they did that day or whatever. But, I did not. No, sir. I decided to give the olâ middle finger to the assignment and do my own shit.
So, for my daily journal entries, over the course of an entire year, I wrote a serialized story about a horde of man-eating slugs that invaded a small mining town. It was graphic, it was ridiculous, it was an epic feat of rebellion.
And Mr. Hargrove loved it.
It wasnât just the journal. Every assignment he gave us, I tried to shit all over it. Every reading assignment, everyone gushed about how good it was, but I always had a negative take. Every writing assignment, people wrote boring prose, but I wrote cheesy limericks or pulp horror stories.
Then, one day, he read one of my essays to the class as an example of good writing. When a fellow student asked who wrote it, he said, âSome pipsqueak.â
And thatâs when I had a revelation. He wanted to fight. And since all the other students were trying to kiss his ass, I was his only challenger.
Mr. Hargrove and I went head-to-head on every assignment, every conversation, every fucking thing. And he ate it up. And so did I.
One day, he read us a column from the Washington Post and asked the class what was wrong with it. Everyone chimed in with their dumbass takes, but I was the one who landed on Mr. Hargroveâs complaint: The reporter had BRAZENLY added the suffix âizeâ to a verb.
That night I wrote a jokey letter to the reporter calling him out on the offense in which I added âizeâ to every single verb. I gave it to Mr. Hargrove, who by then had become a friendly adversary, for a chuckle and he SENT IT TO THE REPORTER.
And, people⊠The reporter wrote back. And he said I was an exceptional student. Mr. Hargrove and I had a giggle about that because we both knew I was just being an asshole, but he and the reporter acknowledged I had a point.
And that was it. That was the moment. Not THAT EXACT moment, but that year with Mr. Hargrove taught me I had a knack for writing. And that knack was based in saying âfuck youâ to authority. (The irony that someone in a position of authority helped me realize that is not lost on me.)
So, I can say without qualification that Mr. Hargrove is the reason I am now a professional writer. Yes, I do it for a living. And most of my stuff takes authorities of one kind or another to task.
Mr. Hargrove showed me my dissent was valid, my rebellion was righteous, and that killer slugs could bring a city to its knees. Someone just needs to write it.
This is the first time Iâve seen this post but I know Iâm gonna love reading it every time it shows up on my dash