The Line™

Sara. 24. Let me out of this hell.

[sumrot]

[aranock]

This is good advice, but also why this picture?

[biglawbear]

It’s hard for two horses to be intimate when there’s an erupting volcano nearby. What’s not clicking

[weatheredlaw]

Hey guys. This is my new best friend. I’m making a cake.

I made my batter from scratch, and I made a strawberry yogurt frosting.

Cannot wait to see what this weird little guy looks like.

[weatheredlaw]

The lamb is done. The lamb is cooling.

[weatheredlaw]

the lamb did not come out of the pan very well. features have been lost. frosting may be needed to rescue the lamb.

[weatheredlaw]

Behold. My son.

[crowzi]

hey op do you take criticism

[weatheredlaw]

i do not, and please don't speak to me or my son ever again

[weatheredlaw]

Happy Easter to the post that haunts my notifications. To the four thousand people who have asked me: yes I buttered and floured the pan. No this is not for making butter. Idk if it’s actually for a cake but it’s too big to use to make butter. Stay safe kids.

[weatheredlaw]

Happy Easter to this post once again. Apparently the pan has lead in it. Please stop messaging me about the lead. I know.

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[yodaprod]

Greyhound Computer Corporation (1979)

[sidecast-text]

dog time AKA the only reason i've been managing not to overwork myself

[sidecast-text]

death of the author except when its funny

[quiggyballs]

exactly what someone who regularly turns into a dog would say

[sidecast-text]

im having a genuine blast this is like a gender reveal party to me

[mossy-covered-bones]

I’ve decided to conduct a survey! Please select one of the following results at random.

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Voting ended onFeb 13, 2023

Please reblog this so that I can get a bigger sample size, but DO NOT include anything in the tags about the results, as that could influence other responses

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[nonegenderleftpain]

[largishcat]

before: GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCK PIECE OF SHIT

after: hello mommy 🥺 could you pretty please help me with this 🥺 it’s me your baby boy

[fubblers]

I think we as a website are sleeping on the potential of Microsoft teams default memes

[fubblers]

You have the option to edit the text but why the fuck would you. Get disbarred bitch.

[theweirdwideweb]

[astronicht]

Unless you were a tech at NASA back in the day, when one time some hydrogen a) escaped in a particular building, and b) caught on fire. This was extremely difficult because hydrogen does NOT burn on the visible spectrum humans evolved to see (and flee). Rather, it technically does, but it’s so pale that in practice, no one could see it. Additionally, pure hydrogen burns without smoke and with so little ambient heat that you can’t really sense it till you walk into it. So, per the lore, for a few days all the techs in that building just walked around brandishing brooms in front of them like lances. If your broom lit on fire, congrats! You have located more burning hydrogen! Do not proceed!

[mias-back-from-the-dead]

oh my god it's real and it was LITERALLY called "the broom method" holy shit

[randomencounters]

Place: building with pockets of invisible fire

[randomitemdrop]

Spell: Conjure Invisible Fire

[weaponizedvirtue]

[nehirose]

one of my favorite comics of all time

[lesbianshepard]

if I found out I was prophesied to kill my father, fuck my mother, and bring a curse upon my city, I would simply move to a different city and leave my parents behind to avoid it.

[lesbianshepard]

by zeus this can’t be happening

[wtfzeus]

Unfortunately we can’t blame Zeus for this one

[ukrainian-psycho]

I'm taking a bath with lights off and a lit scented candle, I thought it would be a nice relaxing experience but I feel like a draugr in a skyrim dungeon

[sombersquid]

[jellypis-deactivated20240308]

you're an older sibling ?? and what for ??? your younger sibling becoming taller than you ????

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

WAIT

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

[physicsiguess]

[redstonedust]

always blows my mind as a european when people talk about states like “yeah theres nothing in ohio/montana/wyoming/etc” because i look at a map like but. but theyre so big. every state could qualify as its own country what do you mean theres nothing there. and then i ask people from those states and theyre like “yeah theres nothing here” what do you mean theres nothing there!!!

[yokelfelonking]

What’s in the steppes of Russia, or the northern forests of Scandinavia? What’s in the Sahara desert?

[redstonedust]

id like us to sit here and identify some key differences between the sahara desert and ohio for a moment

[yokelfelonking]

as a former Ohio resident I think that the key difference is that the sahara probably has more jobs unrelated to meth

[redstonedust]

untapped meth market in the depths of the sahara desert

[feefal]

Atom chan🔵

[feefal]

ATOM CHAN NO

[mxtomituck]

YAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS

[irlplasticlamb]

the wild wolf of winterfell.

prints + merch