“Hey!! I’m not obsessed with any characters!!” I say as I have a heart attack whenever I see something related to gears. Also I got into this fandom and stole some blonde prick’s name. Oops.
You reach into the multi selection crisp bag. Big problem…there is no more salt and vinegar. No problem. Just call Brian. He will just somehow get fucking salt and vinegar crisps. But also ONLY the brands that have them as green.
Good things about brian
He can get the most peak crisp flavour
Bad things about brian
He ONLY gets salt and vinegar (peak flavour)
He is BRITISH (and will NEVER get an american brand)
You WILL have to fight him to the death for the crisps. He can walk it off don’t worry
There is no way to contain him because he just fucking appears when theres no more salt and vinegar
James(one of them theres too many fucking james): aw shit man theres no more salt and vinegar
James part 2: why do u even eat that
James: because its peak
Brian: do not worry.
Brian reaches into the bag and magically gets salt and vinegar
James : woah thanks man
Brian: i changed my mind bye
James: NO!! THATS THE MOST PEAK FLAVOUR NO!!!
James part two: just eat prawn cocktail
James : well now i have to kill brian AND YOU.
James part 2 dies and james goes and kills brian for his salt and vinegar bc that flavour is peak ❤️❤️
Based off a true story guys ❤️❤️💔💔💔💔❤️❤️💔💔❤️ i miss my friends so much all this just because i like salt and vineg
I am Nneaerycht Smith, Head of Scientific Research.. AND Anomalous Research. You’d think they’d just make me Head of Research, but nooooo.
My.. uh. Daughter. Told me to get this silly little app. Apparently EVERYONE has it now.. Don’t tell her of the old account I had in my 20s..
I’m not sure how exactly I’m going to be using this now, but who knows what will happen..
Ooc below..
HELLO!!
I am the.. uh. Moderator. Or whatever
Call me Azett.
I use He/Him, as does Smith.
Enough about me
Some info about Smith.
If you have tiktok, press that there. The link. Yk.
If not.. uuhh. Let me copy and paste what the video says says..
Reading this is optional btw. This is long as hell.
SCP-13343 “I AM WHO I AM”
Smith's codename is SCP-13343-NS, also known as Barachiel, and it is such because most of the people he helps are.. different.. afterwards. Usually classified as 13343-BLESSED, they seem to gain the inability to die when in the presence of Barachiel. Their injuries may heal, and they find it easier to get what they have wished for. Barachiel is the archangel of blessings, and so the name fits what he bestows upon the -BLESSED
Although called SCP-13343-COMPLETE in the file (due to the complete awareness of -B), It falls under many names, all of which likely familiar to you. Adonai, El shaddai, Elohim, Jehovah, Yahweh, God.
"But Azett!!! There already is a God in scp!!" Yeah, I'm getting onto that, you gimp.
SCP-13343 is basically the ACTUAL God compared to 343. 343 is a brainwashed reality bender, made by the foundation (to sell more bibles/j) when 13343 first showed signs of its immense power. It is unclear why exactly this was done. Maybe just because nobody wants to know that their God is a weakened human.
He's got a whole cult backstory that kinda leads as to why some random guy is also God.. long ass paragraph warning..
Baaassically Smith's father encountered the powers that will eventually make up SCP-13343-B(The pure power of God. Smith's awareness of it will be the difference between the Barachiel and Yahweh states, as low awareness of -B makes up the Barachiel state, but high awareness typically leads to being entirely infused by -B, which leads to the Yahweh state) Anyways. Smith's father was like. Ok!! I'll make a cult then!!! Because. Apparently people do that when they hear spooky voices.
So he goes and does that, and because everyone loves christianity based cults, it got somewhat popular.
Smith's father groomed some of the girls who were in said cult, and told everyone that one of them had a virgin pregnancy after he had forced himself upon her. Smith was born, and already was being treated like the second coming.
The many scattered powers, furious that man would twist its words, came together to form -B (Think of the many gases are scattered around in space before a star forms from them). It uses its pure power to curse the cult, making them speak a language only they could understand, meaning no new members from outside of the cult.
The cult saw this as them being punished for their sins, and they planned to sacrifice a 13 year old Smith.
-B, aware of their planning to kill Smith, decided to infuse itself into him. Because that’s what you do when you’re all power or whatever.
Waking up from being sacrificed, Smith suddenly had immense power.
He ran, far, from the cult. In his fear, and wanting to forget, Smith unintentionally wiped the cult, its language, and members from reality. Because, again, that’s what you do when you’re suddenly all powerful.
The foundation was very aware of him, but they found it easier to let him become unaware of his powers, by amnestics usually.
They didn't contain him because it would trigger him becoming aware, and only he knows what he could do.
So they actually helped him in making a new identity.
Smith was raised from 13-18 in a 'catholic orphanage' (something the foundation made to keep an eye on him)
When he experienced a power surge at 23, the foundation had figured that his college and half finished university shit was good enough to have an excuse to hire him, when really it was to have an even closer eye on him.
In between the orphanage and working at the foundation, during Smith's college years, he met a girl he liked :).
He was too afraid to say anything about his feelings, and she was the type of party girl to sleep around. She got pregnant, and had no idea who the father was.
Smith, being the good friend who definitely didn't have a crush on her, decided to step up as the other parent.
Which was great until she died when they were both 23, leaving Smith alone with a 5 year old to take care of.
Luckily, he got hired by the foundation 3 months after she died!! (smith canonically worked at mcdonalds before he worked at the foundation.)
Other random facts..
Because he was meant to die at 13, he has been rotting ever since. It is extremely slow, though, and has only really overtaken his right side.
He had his right eye removed when he was disrespectful, to keep his eye 'only on God'.
Because he got stabbed in the chest (hitting the heart) when he was being sacrificed, the wound never healed, and Smith has a weak heart due to this. He is prone to bleeding when stressed, typically by the chest wound reopening, but he may cough up blood or have a nosebleed r instead.
Any of the injuries that mean something significant to Smith usually stay. Such as his sacrificial injury, or his missing eye, or some other scars..
A lot of his lore is contradictory but it’s okaaayyy
Have you noticed that some (!!!not all!!!) people, including artists who start getting really deeply involved with wiki (becoming authors or posting their artwork there) eventually begin acting morally and generally superior to other fandom members or is it just me? Again, I’m not saying this applies to everyone, but if this post hit a nerve with you, then it’s probably about you.
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AZ is just really good at faking his death he’s just going to Paldea to have a nice vacation.
AZ is alive okay okay okay okay okay okay
He is breathing OKAY HE TOLD ME HE TOLD ME OKAY OKAY HE IS ALIVE OKAY PLEASE THATS MY HUSBAND
