Hello...

Maybe one day I'll actually do something other than laugh at my dash..... Lvl 23

[beepathan]

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Trying to inflict psychic damage to a tumblr user is like trying to irradiate a cockroach, like it can be done, but the lethal dose is not safe for humans either

[gomezaddamsofficial]

Besides the point, but you could always try physical damage?

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

You’re right Gomez, bring me the flail

[thoughtportal]

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous sign (apparently translates to "Sorry", in a sincere way)

[soul-of-a-ghost]

pathetic wet beast on the brink of tears

[ominous-signs]

OH MY GOSH LOOK AT THEM

[unrelatableasshole]

I love when my moots are excited about something that I have no idea about. Like I don't know what's going on but I am now excited by proxy. Excitement by osmosis if you will.

[riatun]

Preview/close up of upcoming request cuz I am just so happy with these faces aaa 🥺🔥

[riatun]

Could not resist 😂

[clowntainment]

[magnetic-deflection]

m,y tuube:)

[vinnamah]

[sneakytris]

@kittybroker

[kittybroker]

their tube.... now on sale... only $12.99....

[crisismoth]

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

[absolutegibberishandnumbers]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[dogrotpdf]

had someone come to my book event last night and give me this. couldnt ask for anything better, really. yes, they’ll be at my birthday party in november

[dogrotpdf]

you’ll never believe the turn of events that have transpired tonight

[dogrotpdf]

[notfinancialadvice]

This is so fucking embarrassing. This is one of the most embarrassing business quips I have ever seen in my entire vile career.

[birdsareblooming]

coat bath

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

tag yourselves i'm the GREAT ROOM beside the GOURMET KITCHEN

[pocket-deer-belly]

i remade it in the sims 4

[lengthy-artery]

tshirt concept

[fellator]

doesn't it piss you off that you have to find something to eat every single day. every one of them. just every day. you gotta eat something

[tahthetrickster]

it’s december 1 where’s the christmas tail kitten bring him to me

[tahthetrickster]

i have to do EVERYTHING around here

[gogglesaurus]

my first wondertrade in oras and i got a machamp incredible

[gogglesaurus]

all it knows is dig

level 31 and it just knows dig

[gogglesaurus]

what am i supposed to do with this

[gaypet-deactivated20150628]

is

is this machamp’s name “homo matsuri”

as in

“homo festival”

[lovelive2k15-deactivated2015010]

yea this is good

[jajakuroneko-deactivated2018121]

Some more interesting information:

“Dig” in Japanese was originally “Ana wo horu,” which translates to “Dig a hole,” with the direct object’s being “Ana,” “a hole” and the verb’s being “horu,” “dig.”

The common writing of “ana,” “穴,” is the same as a colloquial term for the buttocks, “ketsu.”

“Horu,” in addition to it’s more standard definition, is also a slang verb meaning “to have anal sex (between two men).”

Your new Machamp is named “Homo Festival,” and it’s only move is to fuck a man in the ass.

[amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020]

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

[straighthater]

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

[timelordpillbug]

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

[hikingnerd]

When Russia sends you nudes

[dr-thackery]

[dismantlerepaired]

[ilovepretzelrods]

[thegingerbalrog]

[onwardwall]

[miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon]

#what the fuck happened here

[her-eyes-dared-me-with-danger]

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

[kyloschuyler]

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

[tree-of-blue-squirrel]

reblog it, because Russia can´t

[maradaisykat]

Thanks Obama 

[my-sisters-eyeball]

Wtf

[roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it]

When Russia makes this post illegal

[earthnicity]

I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS

[dovahdez]

I will reblog this every goddamn time I find it on my dash

[a-wondering-thought-deactivated]

I have a piece of tumblr history on my blog now

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: atgctactttaatcaaaaattcaTattattatttgaagtcaacatTaaataattgaATCTgtgattaaacttg

Closest match: Bombyx mori BmN4 cell DNA, chromosome 24, sequence Common name: Domestic Silk Moth

(image source)

[i-twink-therefore-i-am]

new type of guy just dropped

[lachonk]

I think it's a shame that "Oedipus complex" refers to fucking your mom instead of the actual point of his story, fulfilling your destiny through your attempts to avoid it. It just so happens his destiny was to fuck his mom

[charyou-tree]

Yeah, I don’t know what Freud was thinking, but Oedipus very much did Not want to fuck his mom. He spent the entire play trying to avoid that, and then gauged out his eyes when he learned that he had anyway.

[lachonk]

I think Freud was too caught up with the fantasy of fucking his mom to appreciate the themes of the story tbh